


The Sun in My Eyes

by christy_sparkle



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Puns, Baking, Belly Dancing, Binge Drinking, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Canon Character of Color, Canon Rewrite, Casa Amor (Love Island), Companionable Snark, Complicated Relationships, Cupcakes, Drinking to Cope, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Sex, Everything Hurts, F/M, Falling In Love, Feels, Female Character of Color, Fix-It, Freckles, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jealousy, Love Island: The Game Season 2, Love at First Sight, Personal Growth, Poor Life Choices, Post-Canon, Post-Villa (Love Island: The Game), Scottish Character, Semi-Public Sex, Sexy Times, Shower Sex, Slow Burn, Snark, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-10 14:22:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 152,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20529479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christy_sparkle/pseuds/christy_sparkle
Summary: Bobby's friends dared him to audition for Love Island and he never could resist a good dare. He didn't expect to make it onto the show, but he did, and now he's there for the free vacation. He knows that love isn't in his future, in or out of the villa. Bobby is a master of baking pastries, making people laugh, and friend zoning the absolute fuck out of himself. Because love requires letting someone in and that's the one thing he just can't seem to do. Until he meets her.His summer of love starts now.





	1. Blinded

You know that feeling when you step from a dark place into the sun, and the light is so white-bright-hot that your eyes ache and you’re blinded? Where you panic for just a moment, afraid you’ll never see that sun again?

That was what it was like seeing her for the first time.

Bobby shifted in his spot and stared, willing his eyes not to water from her brightness.

Caroline, the husky-voiced host of the show, held a pink card and read off the girl’s basic information. Lili. Twenty-four. From…somewhere. He missed the city completely. A charity officer for The Fostering Project. Personal motto: _No act of kindness is ever wasted. _

She was an absolute stunner. Skin like warm bronze, luminous brown eyes, and a full plush mouth. The tilt of her nose gave her a bit of a mischievous look, as did the curly hair pulled into two purposefully messy buns. She was curvaceous and strong, her arms muscled, and she had those full swishy hips he loved. The kind a lad could grab hold of.

Five men, or rather boys, as the producers insisted they call themselves, stood eagerly before her, including himself. There was a lot of throat clearing and stance-adjusting to show off their bulging muscles. Lili stepped toward the queue and smiled like a pageant queen, though her hands were tangled together, anxiously kneading each other like bread dough.

She went down the line, sizing them up. Gary stepped forward and greeted her, giving her a cheeky grin. The stoic Noah gave her nothing but his name and she whispered hello in response, earning the first genuine human reaction Bobby had seen from him as he gave a small smile and winked at her. Rocco smoldered and hit on her without shame. Ibrahim handed her a painful line about golf tournaments, but she laughed anyhow, a sound that jingled in tune with the coin ankle bracelet she wore.

Finally she stopped in front of him. Their eyes locked and her Vaseline smile wavered. She blinked rapidly, as if she wasn’t sure what she was looking at. That didn’t seem a good sign. But the longer she looked at him, the more blinded he felt. He couldn’t explain it. It wasn’t just because she was gorgeous. He’d met some beautiful birds in his life, maybe a few who were even more stunning on paper, but no one had knocked him sideways like this.

He opened his mouth, unsure of what he’d say, which wasn’t all that unusual. He lived by the philosophy that regrets were for tomorrow. Or at least for thirty seconds after he’d said something that made him sound like an absolute numpty.

“Hey gorgeous,” he said. “Ya saved the best till last. I’m like the sweet dessert at the end of a main course of beefcake.” Had he really just said the word _beefcake?_

Her pageant smile broke open, spilling a wave of laughter at his feet. The sweet sound was worth looking like an idiot.

“Are you saying you’re sweeter than all these other guys?” It was the first time she’d spoken more than a word. He didn’t know where she was from, but her accent was just on the edge of Scouse. Hints of Gaelic and Welsh gave her sing-song sound that warmed him more than the sun beating down on his dreads.

“Maybe you should pick me and find out,” he said.

“Hmm. Maybe.” She tucked a wayward strand of curly hair behind her ear and bit the center of her lower lip as she stepped back and surveyed her options.

Despite making her laugh he didn’t love his chances. The guys had done the usual overly firm handshakes, bragging, and once-overs when they’d arrived, and he already knew he didn’t measure up. Despite being 5 ft 11 in (and a half, the half was important), he was shorter than everyone except Gary. And Gary was an enormous, smiley crane operator with tattoos. A real lad’s lad. Noah was tall, at least 6 ft 3 in, heavily muscled…and a librarian? Carrying books must have been more work than anyone knew. And Rocco. Ugh. The guy lived in a van and looked like walking body odor, but he had long curls and a lilting Irish accent, the kind that made women wet and wanting, unlike Bobby’s own Glaswegian burr, which tended to bewilder rather than seduce the English. Then there was Ibrahim, who was almost as tall as Noah, and had more muscles in his abdomen than Bobby would ever have in his whole body.

He flexed his stomach. At 12.5 stone his middle was muscled and strong, just like his chest and arms. But no one was accusing him of having a full six-pack like Ibrahim and Noah. He worked out, but he also liked baking and eating pastries too much to live the quinoa-and-lift life.

“Ok boys, onto the important question,” Lili said. “Do you fancy me? If you do, please step forward.”

Rocco practically leapt ahead. Gary stepped up. As did everyone else, except Noah. Odd. He’d seemed interested. Was he playing hard to get? It was weird for Bobby to remember that this was a game and that some people had plans beyond chats and snogs and sun lounging.

She asked each of them why they stepped forward. Rocco went on about connections and fate. The guy was as smooth and transparent as window glass. In his annoyance Bobby missed the rest of their answers. When it was his turn he was so busy trying to be funny—his one trick for getting women to come home with him—that he may have insulted her, telling her she seemed like someone who didn’t waste a lot of time on her appearance and he didn’t want competition for being the prettiest when they stood next to each other. Christ why couldn’t he stop talking? Every word was stupider than the last.

Feck.

“Joking, of course.” He cleared his throat. “Pick me and you’ll be laughing all the way to the bedroom.”

“And in it,” Gary said, with a snort, which was annoying, but at least it stopped him from making it any worse.

Lili arched an eyebrow, but her lip quirked as well. Clearly he’d blown it, but at least he had made her smile.

Her gaze shifted to Ibrahim. And then back to Bobby. He stood a little taller and did his best to look unbothered. It didn’t matter. She wouldn’t pick him. A girl like her would never pick a guy like him. He was a right laugh but he didn’t bring much else to the feast.

But…maybe. She’d said maybe.

She cleared her throat and looked at the ground for a moment. “The boy I want to couple up with is…” When she looked up, her expression was sunny. And resolute. She avoided his eyes. “Ibrahim.”

He did his best to keep his shoulders from slumping. He had no reason to be disappointed because he’d known she wasn’t going to pick him. Unbothered. He was completely unbothered.

Lili walked to Ibrahim, who bent a foot down to pull her into a hug. “I can’t believe I’m the first one chosen!” His smile lit up as the boys gave a cheer and congratulated him. Bobby joined in. When he looked their way Lili’s eyes locked with his and his heart slammed into his rib cage hard enough to rattle his teeth.

One by one, the rest of the girls were brought before them. They were all heart-burstingly beautiful in their own ways. Lottie, the witchy, tattooed Aussie with pink hair, had skin so remarkably pale there was a real possibility that she might burst into flames in the Majorcan sun. She was also aggressive and scary as hell, but he rather liked that about her. Not enough to step forward, but still. She’d proclaimed her interest in Ibrahim and for a moment he wondered if she’d snatch him from Lili, leaving her single and forced to pair up with whoever was left after the last girl went. Alas. Lottie said that she and Lili had agreed that girl code mattered. So she’d snapped up Rocco instead.

Hope was the absolute opposite of Lottie. She looked like she belonged on glossy magazine covers with her velvety dark skin and her long micro braids beaded with gold hoops. She made a path straight to Noah, without bothering to speak to the rest of the guys.

Marisol was…he wasn’t sure how to describe her. The words that came to mind were _classy dominatrix_. Tanned. High cheekbones. She had long, golden brown hair, flawless bright red lipstick and a pair of black cat eye glasses that made her look like a naughty librarian. She’d gone on a tangent about body language and directed shrewd probing eyes at him, announcing that she’d like to_ figure him out._ It felt as though she wasn’t asking so much as telling him, so he stepped forward and she chose him.

Hannah came out last and she was lovely. Fair skin and coltish legs, she flipped a waist length red braid over one shoulder and babbled about ponies and Prince Charming. She was wide-eyed and sweet and he was already worried for her. Especially when no one stepped forward.

Lottie put her hands on her hips. “No one?” she snarled. “Come on boys, she’s absolutely gorgeous!” Rocco shrugged and started moving and she slapped a hand on his chest. “Not you.”

Finally Gary, the lone single man left, stepped forward, but he didn’t seem well-thrilled about it. “You are fit. I just didn’t think I’d be your type.”

Hannah was pleased enough and called him her knight in shining armor. Bobby had never seen someone roll their eyes with their whole body, but that’s what Gary seemed to do.

While Caroline filmed some second takes, the producers, Deena and Isaac encouraged everyone to hang out in the garden and chat.

Bobby asked Marisol about law school. She got pretty technical and his brain wandered off. Just over her shoulder he saw Lili and Ibrahim walk away from the crowd. Laughing, Lili kicked off her painfully high heels and gripped Ibrahim’s hands for support as she lowered herself to the edge of the infinity pool. She slid her legs into the unnaturally blue water, kicking ripples in the flat surface.

Feeling guilty, he gave his attention back to his partner. She was an amateur psychologist, the very worst kind, and she peppered him with questions about himself, picking at his outer layers in a way that made him uncomfortable. The interrogation (because it wasn’t really a conversation) went on until Caroline called for everyone’s attention. _Thank Christ._

“I’m off but before I go, I’ll remind you that you’re not just here for the fifty-thousand pound prize. You’re here for a once-in-a-lifetime shot at true love in the heart of paradise.” Everyone cheered. “Graft hard. Now is not the time to be timid, boys and girls.” She paused for effect. “Welcome to Love Island! It’s gonna be a **Long…Hot...Summer.” **She gave them a cheeky, practiced grin and then blew kisses before she departed, breezing through the doors of the villa on impossibly high heels.

Months and months ago, his friends had smirked at the show’s tagline. Especially Big Jonno who had dared Bobby to apply in the first place. “Twenty pints says you ain’t got the bawbag to do it!” Then he’d slapped a meaty hand on Bobby’s back and chortled. “Never gonna happen.”

Oh yes it was. Twenty pints was a lot of free lager just to apply to a ridiculous reality show. And Jonno was mingy with his money. So he’d done it, much to his friend’s indignation. Really, Jonno should have known better than to dare him to do anything.

He loved a good challenge. 

Now that he was here though, it all felt less like a joke or a free holiday. Something had shifted.

Over Marisol’s shoulder, Lili clapped along with everyone else. She flicked her dark gaze in his direction, and grinned at him, the full force of her smile so bright he had to rub his eyes.

He smiled back at her and she bit her lip before looking away.

Long hot summer?

Maybe.

  
*****


	2. The Day Gets Brighter

“Hannah’s already starting to wind me up,” Gary groused to all of them, as they procured drinks for the girls.

“I think she’s a nice girl,” Bobby said. It hadn’t even been two hours, but he wasn’t surprised that Gary was already over it. He was far too grounded in reality for someone fanciful like Hannah.

“She’s stunning, to be fair,” Gary said. “But what was that shit about this place being like a romance novel?”

Lili had come along with the guys at Ibrahim’s request. She scooped up an armful of wine bottles. “She’s a sweetheart and a romantic,” she said. “Love looks different to everyone and if that’s how love looks to her, you can’t fault her for that. And anyway, isn’t finding love what we’re all here for?”

“I don’t blame her for wanting that stuff.” Gary scrubbed a hand through his blonde hair. “I guess I’m just more real world about it. Love ain’t all rose petals. It’s about…” He stared off in the distance. “It’s about finding someone who makes you toast when you’re sad.”

She nodded. “That’s the reality of love. But Hannah’s quite young, you know. Eventually she may decide that toast **is** better than rose petals, but for now, she dreams of romance. And she doesn’t need someone cruelly squashing that dream. The world will try to do that soon enough, don’t you think?”

Gary seemed taken aback by that. “Yeah, I suppose.”

“Toast?” Rocco looked from Gary to Lili. “You can’t win love with toast, my friends.” Rocco landed his green smolder on Lili and blarggled on about love making you write poetry even if you aren’t good at it.

“So love is like my old English teacher?” Noah asked, surprising them all. Bobby didn’t think he actually knew what jokes were, let alone how to make them. Lili snickered and Noah smiled warmly at her.

Hmm. He didn’t like that at all. “I think you know you like someone when you check to see if they laugh at your jokes.” He peeked at Lili, who seemed to be considering that.

“But like she said, we all think love is something different.” Ibrahim’s warm brown eyes melted all over Lili like liquid chocolate and Bobby had to stop his own eyes from rolling right out of his skull. “So the real question is, what does love look like to you, Lili?”

Gary picked up the box of plastic champagne flutes. “It’s down to earth.”

“And real,” Noah said with a nod.

“I think it’s more about romance, you know?” Ibrahim said. “When you can imagine the future together. It’s exciting.”

“No,” Bobby said. “It’s fun. Having a laugh.”

She worried her lower lip with her teeth as she contemplated the question. “The romance and butterflies eventually wear off, don’t they? Being down to earth is good—toast is good—but life isn’t always sensible and a fistful of whimsy goes a long way.” She shifted the bottles. “Being a person is mostly just annoyances and bills and pain, but if you’ve got shared humor you can get through anything together. And that’s what love is really about. For me anyway. Finding that person who wants to go through all that ordinary frustrating stuff with you, and have a laugh about it together. Because you make it better for them and they make it better for you.”

She caught his eye and gave one of her wide cheerleader smiles. Warmth spread through his chest. With that, she shrugged and walked away with her arms full of wine bottles.

“Well that does it, lads,” Bobby said softly, in the silence. “I’m going to marry that girl.”

Ibrahim stared at him, his eyes worried, but his smile in place. “She picked me, man.”

“Yeah,” Gary said. “And have you seen this guy?” He patted Ibrahim’s abs. Then Gary’s face screwed up, as if he regretted saying that. “Not that you’re not fit as you are, Bobs.”

“Uh, we were supposed to get the drinks and Lili just carried all the bottles off by herself,” Noah said. He turned and jogged in Lili’s direction.

They all followed. Noah had to wrestle some of the bottles from Lili. She was a strong and stubborn lass. Ibrahim took the rest. She threw her empty arms out in frustration.

Bobby ran to catch up with her. “Letting the boys do all the work for you?” He handed her a packet of crisps and grinned. “Here, make yourself useful, ya lazy coo.”

The lads froze. They stared at him in shock. Right. Sometimes his sense of humor was too much. Most times. And it was the kind of fond thing he’d have said to his sister. Or to any of his mates. And they would have laughed and gone about their lives because they knew he wasn’t a total bellend. But she wasn’t one of his mates. She was the gorgeous girl he’d just met and desperately wanted. And he’d just called her a cow. A lazy one.

Death. He wished for sweet death.

Lili’s snort of laughter could likely have been heard a kilometer away. She socked him hard in the arm, very hard, and then snatched all the crisp packets from him. “_You_ make yourself useful, ya limp knob.”

Gary giggled and then the silence was broken. Everyone unclenched their arseholes and started walking again. Bobby kept in step with Lili. “How’d you know my middle name is Limp Knob?”

“Lucky guess,” she said with a smile.

*****


	3. Dare in the Daylight

“I got a text,” Gary yelled, even though they were all in the same garden, swilling mediocre champagne. Well, everyone except Lili, who’d turned down champers for a fruity mocktail. “Gonna play Truth or Dare over at the firepit,” Gary read.

Hope smirked. “This is my game, you guys! Let’s go!”

And so they did. It seemed that most of the show’s footage was going to be the group scurrying from one location to another while sweaty cameramen chased after them.

Two piles of cards sat on the bench seat. One marked truth and one dare. Rocco whinged about wanting to make up his own dares. Probably because they’d all involve the girls getting naked with him as their spiritual chakras aligned or something equally appalling. Bobby usually liked everyone, but he didn’t care for Rocco at all.

He took a seat next to Marisol who gave him a pretty smile. “Don’t you love these kinds of games? You can learn so much about people based on their choices.”

“Yeah, they’re great,” he said, not meaning it at all. He hated stuff like this. It made him anxious. Even more so with Marisol analyzing his every blink and twitch.

“I choose dare!” Hope took it upon herself to snatch up the first card. Lottie pulled a face and whispered something to Lili, who shrugged and laughed.

“Give a foot massage to one of the other islanders,” Hope read, looking a little less excited for the challenge.

He couldn’t stop himself from laughing at Noah and Hope’s expressions. “Wow! Getting right in there!”

Across from him, Hannah tinged green. “Ugh, gross! I don’t think I could touch someone’s feet on the first day I met them!”

Lili laughed and leaned over Lottie to give Hannah’s hand a squeeze. “You always have the right to say no. Especially to feet. Choose truth on your turn, or this game is going to traumatize you.”

“What, and miss out on all the fun?” Bobby said. “‘Suck someone's toes' might be in there too.” He gave Lili a wink.

“Gross!” Hannah gagged.

Lili crossed her shapely legs and pointed a foot at him. “Spare us your fantasies, mate.” Her voice was warm with amusement. Her high heeled sandal exposed a long graceful foot and shiny black toenails, which was an interesting choice. He would have assumed she’d go bright pink, like her personality.

He let his gaze linger on her foot before he looked up and wriggled his eyebrows at her. “If you only knew…”

She threw her head back and laughed and he forgot to breathe for a moment. His hands started to sweat. He wasn’t actually a foot guy, but he’d massage hers if the card came up for it. And do anything else the card said, honestly, if it meant he got to touch her.

It wasn’t creepy if the game made him do it. Right?

Ibrahim watched the exchange and edged into the quarter centimeter of space he’d left between himself and Lili. He wrapped a huge, possessive arm around her.

Marisol pierced Bobby with her assessing gaze, but she didn’t say anything. Which was good, because he had no excuse for his blatant grafting. He wasn’t this guy. Except right now, he was.

Hope cleared her throat to draw attention back to herself. She announced that Noah would receive the foot rub.

Bobby clapped. “Come on, big man, get those piggies out!” Noah turned and everyone squashed in tighter so he could put his massive feet in Hope’s lap.

Lottie turned to Lili. “You know what they say,” she stage-whispered as she separated her hands by 25 centimeters. Lili covered her mouth and laughed.

He knew what she meant. Bobby shifted his respectable size ten** shoes. How many more ways would he be inferior in the villa? Because his…shoe size had always been one thing he had going for him. He’d never had complaints about that. Just everything else.

His pride was going to be severely bruised when this was all done. Big Jonno would love that.

The foot rub went on forever. Hope was really going in on the sensual massage. Noah groaned in dramatic ecstasy and half the group gagged when she slid her fingers between his toes. Lili, for her part, couldn’t stop laughing as she cheered Hope on. “Get in, girl! He’s loving it!”

After Noah’s feet were back on the ground, Hope rubbed her hands on her sheer green sarong. “Let’s keep things lively. Lili seems like she’s up for having fun.”

Gary perked up. “Go on Lili! Truth or dare?”

She debated and Rocco jumped in, his eyes dancing with excitement. “Be spontaneous! Choose dare!”

Ibrahim shook his head. “Truth is the really brave option.”

Lottie, bless her, rolled her big green eyes. “Look at you boys deciding for her. So thoughtful.” She turned to Lili. “You make your own choice, babe.”

“I chooooose…dare.”

He wasn’t surprised. “Yessss. Go big or go home.”

Hope looked at the card and cackled. “Take a sexy selfie, and text it to the hottest islander.”

“Okay, that’s not so bad,” Hannah said. “Better than the foot one.”

Lili stared at her phone. She chewed on her lower lip. “Hottest?”

“Hottest.” Hope nodded. “Whatever that means to you.”

Lili nodded and clicked her screen. “Sexy is not really my thing.” She screwed up her face and blew out her cheeks before snapping a single picture. The flash burst bright against her skin.

“Oh come on,” Rocco said. “I’m sure you can get sexier than that.” Lottie shot daggers at him, but he seemed oblivious to the Aussie thunderstorm rumbling beside him.

Lili smiled mischievously. “Well, there was a pretty good shot of my cleavage in there. So a little of column awkward, a little of column sexy, I guess.” She pressed on the phone screen and everyone waited.

Bobby’s phone dinged. He picked it up, shocked. There was a picture of Lili making the cutest, most ridiculous face and indeed, her cleavage looked spectacular. He laughed and grinned at her and felt a strange intimate spark crackle between them.

“Sorry mate,” he said to Ibrahim, who shrugged it off, his face nearly as stoic as Noah’s.

“Hotness is just physical. There’s more to picking a partner than that,” Hannah said, giving Lili an out for not choosing the man with his arm around her.

“It’s early days,” Marisol agreed. “Of course it’s perfectly okay to be attracted to someone who isn’t your partner. Attraction is personal and we don’t always go for what we’re attracted to.” Marisol’s eyes swept the seating area, but it seemed like she looked a little longer at Gary than anyone else.

Lottie smirked. “And some people are just playing the game, aren’t they?” Lili shrugged, seemingly unconcerned.

“Okay, why don’t you choose one of the boys, Lili?” Hope said. “But don’t choose Noah. I think me fondling his feet was probably enough excitement for one day.” She was smiling but her eyes shot to Noah and Bobby felt a bit of pain on behalf of the guy. They’d only been there two hours and already he was on a very short chain.

Lottie turned to Lili and her look was every bit as demanding as Hope’s. He could practically hear what was going on inside of Lottie’s head. She wanted Lili to choose Noah just to spite Hope.

“Well since I’ve already sent him a horrid picture, I choose Bobby to go.” Lili gave Lottie an apologetic shrug. Lottie crossed her arms, and sucked on her teeth.

Alright. This was going to be miserable. He stood up. “I don’t know if I’m ready for any of those sexy dares yet. I feel like sucking on someone’s toes in public is a big commitment.” Everyone laughed. He turned to Marisol. “At least let me take you out for a drink first, right?” Marisol rolled her eyes and laughed too.

Gary shook his head. “No one’s mentioned toe-sucking apart from you, mate.”

“And that’s a shame. Anyway, I choose ‘truth.’”

Hope held up a card. “’What was your most embarrassing sexual experience?’”

Oh god.

Lili leaned forward. “Oh, I can’t wait to hear this.”

“Uh, well,” he stalled. Ugh. This stuff always made him so uncomfortable. “I don’t know if I want to get into that yet, but there was this time when I was going to bake a cake for this girl and I thought it would be sexy if I uh, shaped it. In my…image. You get me?”

Lili raised her eyebrows. “Don’t get you. Please clarify.”

“My…” he swirled his hand around his groin region.

“Your zipper?”

He swirled his hand more forcefully.

“Ooooh. You mean your tallywacker?” Her eyes sparkled with mischief. She’d known damn well what he was talking about, the minx.

“Yes. Turns out I don’t have a clue what sexy is. She was not impressed. And uh, I think that’s all I’m going to say about that.” He sat back down, his face burning.

“So what I’m hearing,” Lili said. “Is that you can bake.”

Everyone cracked up and the embarrassment of the story blew by. He shot her a grateful look and chose Marisol to go next.

Her question, “Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender on a night out?” led to Marisol giving what amounted to a thesis on her bisexuality. Yes she had. And she found women more intimidating than men.

“I feel kinda reassured knowing you get nervous talking to girls the same way I do,” he said.

“I can’t be the only one, can I?” Marisol cast a look around the group.

Lili shrugged. “I’d try it for the right person. I don’t really think we should limit ourselves when it comes to love.”

“Me too!” Marisol’s eyes sparkled. “I see the person, not their gender.”

“I like that you’re both unconventional girls,” Rocco said. “You do have to be open to all kinds of love. I bet Bobby and Ibrahim would be open to—”

“I’m going to stop you there,” Lottie said, “Before I vomit bees directly in your face.”

Marisol shook her head. “Ibrahim has been awfully quiet. I choose him to go next.”

Ibrahim groaned. “Dare.”

Marisol tilted her head. “But you told Lili that truth was the brave option.”

“It is,” he said. “So I choose dare.”

“Hmm,” Marisol looked him over. “Interesting Ibrahim. Very interesting.”

Hope picked up a card from the nearly depleted dare pile. “‘Kiss the Islander you fancy the most,’” she read.

Ibrahim lit up. “I don’t even have to think about this one.” He walked straight over to Lili who blinked prettily up at him and smiled. He went in for the kiss. It was soft at first, but Lili grabbed his face and deepened it.

There were no words for how much Bobby hated what he was seeing.

“Wow,” Ibrahim said. “I love that you went there.” She gave him a little nuzzle, her nose against his. The man’s face could hardly contain the width of his smile as he sat down and pulled her even closer. Another minute or two and he’d have the girl on his lap.

Hope rolled her eyes and Bobby totally shared her feelings on the matter.

The game continued on for a while. Finally, Rocco smirked. “I choose Lili,” he said. “If she _dares_.”

Hope held out empty hands. “Actually, we’re all out of cards.”

“Oh come on.” Rocco smirked. “You’re game for us to make something up, aren’t you?”

Lili shrugged. “Sure.”

“Ok,” Hope said. “Truth or dare then?”

“Let’s be brave.” Lili elbowed Ibrahim gently. “Truth.”

Rocco barely masked his disappointment. Bobby would bet all the pints Big Jonno owed him that the sleazy guy was going to dare her to kiss Marisol.

Hope jumped in, before Rocco could come up with a slimy truth. “Have you ever hooked up with someone you knew your friend fancied?”

Lili shook her head. “No. Never.”

Lottie smiled. “I knew you understood girl code.”

“Well, I mean, obviously, life is more complicated than a truth or dare question,” Lili said. “But I can’t imagine myself ever doing that to a friend.”

“Well thankfully we’re all in official couples,” Hannah said. “So everyone is safe.”

Marisol caught Bobby’s eye and then looked over at Lili. “Yes, but we’re not all friends yet, are we?”

“Aren’t we?” Hannah asked innocently.

The sun was high in the sky and they were all budged up together on the bench, sweating profusely. So when Hope declared the game over, most of the couples fled the firepit to cool off in the pool.

Ibrahim stood with his hand on Lili’s lower back. “Do you want to go for a swim?”

“Honestly, I’m too tired. I’m going to take a nap on one of the daybeds.”

Ibrahim hesitated before nodding and leaving. Lili turned to grab her water bottle and accidentally kicked it. It rolled across the floor and Bobby picked it up.

His heart was pounding hard enough to knock away his breath. This was killing him. She thought he was fit. She laughed at his jokes. They’d both been grafting from the moment they spoke. Why hadn’t she chosen him? Was she playing some kind of emotional game?

He handed her the bottle. She smiled and looped the strap around her wrist. “Thank you.”

“Fancy a chat?” he asked, his voice raw. “I’m sure Ibrahim won’t mind.”

She was silent for a long moment. Wariness seemed to have taken over her good humor. “Sure,” she said finally. “Let’s chat.”

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FWIW Scottish shoe sizes differ from US shoe sizes. A size ten in the UK is a size 12 in the US. So don't worry, ya'll. He's got big...feet 😂


	4. The Clouds Look...Uncertain

Lili headed for the daybeds and Bobby followed behind her. She chose the one furthest in the shade and sat with her back to the pool area, effectively shielding them from view of everyone, including Ibrahim who was working out. Was that purposeful, her choice to sit there? Or was the show already making him paranoid about everyone’s motivations?

He flopped down beside her. For some reason lying down made him feel better. Maybe because standing up he felt like his legs would give out when he was next to her.

“Soooo,” he drawled. “You think I’m the hottest guy here?”

She pulled her knees up to her chest and nodded. “Yep.”

“Have you not seen the other boys?” he asked.

“I have. And I stand by my selfie choice. Which you can delete if you like. It won’t hurt my feelings.”

“Are you kidding? I’ve already forwarded it to my personal cell. I’m keeping it forever. It’s adorable.”

“Plus the cleavage,” she said, a little dimple appearing on either side of her mouth.

“Oh yeah, that was the adorable part.”

She laughed. “You’re too funny.”

“So uh, I have to ask. If I’m funny and you think I’m the hottest guy here…” he took a breath. “Why didn’t you choose me?”

She looked away from him for a moment, playing with the jingly bracelet on her wrist that matched the one on her ankle. “I don’t know.”

“Was it my sad attempt at charm? The freckles? Is it the abs? Ibrahim’s stomach looks like a loaf of pull apart rolls. Or maybe a xylophone.”

She pressed her lips together, but her eyes sparkled with laughter.

“I was right! It’s the abs.”

“It’s not!” she said. “Anyway you have abs.” She poked her fingers to his stomach. “You’re gorgeous. Stop fishing for compliments.”

“I’m not fishing so much as begging.”

Her fingers grazed his abdomen. “You’re going to get me into so much trouble, pastry chef.” Without the usual laughter dancing in her eyes, she looked as bewildered as he was. Her cheeks turned a rosy pink. So, she felt this…thing as well. That was a relief. He wasn’t going mad. There was something between them, an arcing spark he’d never experienced before.

“Am I the type of guy you usually go for?”

“I don’t think I have a type,” she said. “I haven’t done a lot of dating. Or grafting.”

That threw him. “How is that even possible?”

She laughed. “I’m pretty friendly and outgoing in a crowd, but I’m also a bit of a homebody. I was in school forever and now I work a lot, so I’ve never had much time for relationships. That’s why I’m here. My best friend made me do it because she said the only way I’m going to fall in love is if someone forces me to focus on it.”

“My best mate said pretty much the same thing, only with a lot more profanity and threats. He dared me to do this.”

She traced circles on his stomach with the edges of her fingernails. They were both silent a moment.

“Right.” He sat up and they were suddenly very, very close. “I’ll come straight out with it. I feel like's a lot of chemistry building up between us.”

“I’ve noticed that,” she said softly.

The wind lifted the loose curls in her hair, making them dance. He caught a lock between his fingers, stroking the soft coil before slipping it behind her ear. She licked her lower lip and he swallowed. She smelled like strawberries and sweet shea butter. What would she taste like? The promise of a kiss hung in the air between them. Her eyes dropped to his lips and he leaned into her.

“Text!” Marisol hollered from the pool. “Guys, I got a text!”

A cock block from the heavens. Or maybe just from the producers.

Lili gave an apologetic smile. “Time to go.”

Hesitantly, he climbed off the bed and followed at a distance. When he got to the pool, Marisol was already reading the text out loud.

_“‘Islanders, tonight there will be a welcome party. Please get ready to say hello to a very special guest! #droppingthebombshell.’”_

Everyone talked over each other so loudly Bobby couldn’t tell who was saying what.

“Amazing! A party!”

“Does that mean another girl is coming in here?”

“It said bombshell, what else could it mean?”

“The girls will have to some grafting now!”

Lili stood still, worried eyes on him. He gave her a proper cheesy wink. She laughed and walked closer. “A new girl,” she said. “That’s gonna change things.”

He gestured to the other boys. “It might for them,” he said, looking at her. “But not for me.”

She held his gaze, studying him intently. “You can’t know that. She might be your dream girl.”

“Yeah well, I mean, she might be yours.”

A breathy laugh shot from her. “Ooh, then I hope she’s fit as fuck.” She twisted her hands together, though her smile remained in place. “You boys have all the power now.”

“For a few hours anyway.” Bobby bumped her shoulder with his. “I bet there’ll be some snogs and bits done before the night is out. Everyone’s going to try locking their partner down.”

“Are you?” she asked.

“Dunno,” he said. “Are you?”

She shrugged. “Dunno.”

“Well then, tonight will be interesting won’t it?” he asked.

“Is that the word you’re going with? Interesting?”

“_Pants-shittingly uncertain_ seemed extra.”

She covered her mouth, muffling her harsh bark of laughter.

Lottie came over and gave them both disapproving looks. “Come on, Lili. We’re all going to the dressing room to strategize.” Her heels clacked on the pavers as she rushed into the villa, the others trekking behind her.

Lili sighed and gave him a soft smile that melted his bones. “Alright, pastry chef. Let’s get this pants-shittingly uncertain evening over with.”

*****


	5. The Night Was Sultry

The air was so thick with cologne and aftershave that Bobby worried he’d never be able to taste anything else again. Ibrahim was wrapped in a towel as he steamed an expensive-looking white polo shirt. Rocco studied a handful of beaded necklaces before slipping all of them over his head. Noah was tugging at a pair of tan bawbag-hugging designer jeans that proved just how accurate the shoe size thing truly was.

Gary held a pair of black eyeglasses up to his face in the mirror and grimaced. “What do you think, Bobs?” He stared down at them. “I’m not used to wearing these bloody contacts and my eyes hurt, but this looks…” He frowned. “Do I look like a swot?”

Bobby looked him over. “Nah. With the ripped jeans you look like…”

“Like one of those guys who builds stuff with his hands and drinks homebrew and only gets coffee fresh-ground from the local shop on the corner,” Ibrahim cut in.

“A hipster,” Noah said.

“I don’t know if that’s better or worse than looking like a swot. But if it seems intentional, I’ll go with it,” Gary said, sliding on the glasses. “Better this than bloodshot eyes.”

Bobby looked at his purple tropical shirt in the mirror. He buttoned it all the way up but it looked naff. He started unbuttoning it. Exactly how many undone buttons were too many? He looked over at Rocco’s low-cut shirt. Clearly, there was a thin line between confidence and looking like a complete wank. He undid three. There. Not too try-hard. But the memory of Lili’s nails tickling along his stomach crept into his head and he wondered how many undone buttons she’d like. He released one more.

“Text!” Rocco announced. “We need to head down to the lawn and wait for the girls.”

The villa was beautiful in the daytime, but at night, it really sparkled. The hanging lights gave it a soft bit of romance. The guys nervously blethered until the girls emerged from wherever the producers had hidden them.

Hope led the charge, which was no surprise. Marisol came out behind her and made her way to Bobby. She wore a classy white dress that shared a generous amount of bouncy cleavage.

“You look an absolute masterpiece,” he said. Which wasn’t a lie. She was gorgeous and sexy. It was just that she was completely wrong for him.

“Thank you, you look…festive,” she said, staring at his shirt. Apparently she was a two-undone-buttons kind of girl. She kissed his cheek in greeting. Not a spark to be found.

Lili followed behind her, and Bobby’s heart nearly stopped beating. She wore some kind of low-cut sheer pantsuit with roses all over it. The flowers were the only things keeping her breasts from being completely exposed. Fek. Didn’t she say earlier that sexy wasn’t her thing? It certainly seemed to be now. He liked a full on bird, but which version was authentic Lili?

“Holy…” Ibrahim’s jaw nearly landed on the ground as Lili jiggled over. He immediately wrapped his arm around her. “How are you finding the villa?”

“I haven’t had a chance to look around yet,” she said. “The dressing room situation is intense though.”

“Did you have a chance to look at the roof terrace yet?” Rocco asked, his eyes roaming over Lili like sticky, dirty fingers. “It’s gonna be such a beautiful spot to sit out and look at the stars.” He ran a hand through his unruly curls and held her eye. “I hope I’ll get a chance to do that one evening with someone.”

Lottie, wearing a shiny black dress and a done-with-his-shit expression, cleared her throat. Rocco looked her way, his charm on full blast. “I meant with you, of course.”

Lili’s eyes narrowed. It seemed as if she might call Rocco out, but decided against it, choosing instead to link hands with Lottie and go in search of an ice bucket, sparing everyone what was sure to be an argument. Such a sweet girl.

As the night wore on it was clear that nerves had gotten the best of everyone. The conversation jumped all over the place. They were all a little too loud, a little too full on. Until it derailed spectacularly when they discussed cheesy pickup lines and everyone shared their favorites.

Ibrahim, who’d been silently glued to Lili’s side, raised a hand. “Okay, uh, how about…” He turned to Lili. “Hey girl, are you a dam?” She shook her head in confusion. “Because you got me saying beaver!” Panic shot in his eyes. “Uh. Wait…I mean…”

Then silence. Awkward silence. Until Lili burst into laughter.

Ibrahim smiled at her. “At least someone liked it.”

Hope, ever the leader, put her hands on her hips. “Why don’t you give us your best one, Lili?”

“Um, okay.” She turned to Ibrahim. “Babes, if you were a Transformer, you’d be Optimus _Fine_.”

Ibrahim laughed. “I love it! It’s better than anything I’ve got. I’m going to need to work on my game for you aren’t I?”

“Nah,” Lili said. “You’re game works just fine for me as is.”

Bobby took a drink of champagne to hide his scowl.

Things were most grim when Gary decided to try his hand at comedy and gave them five painful minutes of dad jokes. “Ha! You’ll love this next one! So a bishop walks into a nunnery—”

“Oh!” Hannah cried out. “I got a text!” The sigh of relief that swept the group was strong enough to knock Bobby’s dreads sideways. “‘Islanders, please go to the firepit and get ready to meet your new arrival.’” 

The relief blew away as swiftly as it had arrived. Marisol and Bobby walked in silence to the firepit. Over by the kitchen, he could see Ibrahim pull Lili aside. The conversation looked a little serious. Lili put her hand on Ibrahim’s muscled arm and nodded. He seemed content with whatever it was she said, and they made their way to the bench.

Everyone had nervously crowded in and the only spot left was next to him. Lili hesitated a moment before taking that seat, leaving Ibrahim to squeeze in on the end. He could feel the heat of her body pressing against him and between that and the fire, he began to sweat. He hoped he didn’t look as damp as he felt. Lili fanned herself with her hands, so maybe it wasn’t just him.

He leaned near her ear. “Girl, I wish I had an oven glove,” he whispered.

She crinkled up her nose and giggled softly. “Why?”

“Because I wanna pick you up, but you’re just too hot.”

She closed her eyes and snorted an adorably inelegant laugh. Marisol and Ibrahim both gave them questioning looks but before either could ask what was said, the doors to the villa swept open.

The eleventh islander had arrived.

*****


	6. The Midnight Bombshell What Bombs at Midnight

They weren’t joking with that _dropping the bombshell_ hashtag.

The new islander was literally the most gorgeous girl Bobby had ever seen. Model tall with long wavy auburn hair, tawny skin, and a body that surely cost a fortune to perfect. Her silver dress showed off an impossibly small waist and huge, surgically-enhanced breasts. Even the tiny mole high on her cheek was perfectly placed, like a tear for the hearts she planned to break. Her skin shone in the moonlight and she smelled like a sultry tropical garden. She looked exactly like the kind of girl who was there to steal someone’s lad.

Or bird. Marisol’s eyebrows were up in her hairline as the new girl approached.

Gary whistled low under his breath. Even Noah looked interested, his eyes gleaming. “Mate, I know,” he whispered. Gary smirked and Hope glared. 

“Hi everyone!” The newcomer waved. “I’m Priya. I’m so excited to meet you!”

No one responded. There was a stunned silence that Bobby couldn’t stand. He shot up. “I guess we’re the welcoming committee! Hi, Priya!” That did it. The guys jumped to their feet and gathered around her to introduce themselves. Male excitement buzzed louder than the cicadas in the garden.

In all the jostling, Bobby was pushed backward and out of the crowd. Behind him he could hear the girls whispering urgently.

“She’s beautiful,” Hannah hissed. “Ugh.”

Hope snorted. “You think so?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t kick her out of bed,” Lili said.

Marisol chuckled. “Yeah, me neither.”

Lottie whispered too softly for him to make out the words but he could hear the anger in them. The whispers continued until Hope stood up. “You want to come with?” she asked the girls.

He looked over his shoulder. Lottie sneered. Hannah blinked. Marisol nodded. Lili shrugged. Other than Hope, she seemed the least bothered by Priya’s arrival.

Hannah and Lottie stayed seated, whispering and casting angry glances at the backs of the other girls, who pushed their way through the eager throng of guys.

“Were you lads trying to keep Priya all to yourself?” Hope said. She immediately hugged the new girl. “How are you doing, babes? I’m Hope. It’s good to meet you.”

“Good to meet you,” Priya said. “Sorry for gatecrashing your party!”

“It’s your party too.” Lili gave Priya a warm hug. “I’m Lili. It’s lovely to meet you.” She pulled back. “And wow, you are absolutely stunning.”

“You are so sweet! I was worried I’d fade into the background here, to be honest. You’re all so beautiful and I’m older than everyone here.”

“I wouldn’t have noticed that,” Ibrahim said with a grin. “Not at all.”

Lili’s smile never wavered. If she was bothered, she was a master at hiding it.

Bobby made his way back to the front of the group. Priya was peppered with questions about herself. Her dating history, her reason for being on the show, what she did for a living. Then the big one. What was her type?

“I tend to go for cheeky and flirty guys. Boys with a lot of energy. I’m usually the one who struggles to commit, so I tend to get scared off when it goes from fun to serious.”

Something caught her eye and she changed topics, pointing toward Hannah and Lottie still sitting at the firepit. “What’s going on there? Why aren’t they coming over to say hello?”

“Don’t worry,” Lili said. “I think they’re a little intimidated. They just need some time.”

Bobby appreciated Lili’s attempt to smooth things over, but he was not a fan of shunning or head games. It reminded him of those painful days in school when he was either bullied or ignored. A wall of silence could be every bit as painful as a punch to the face. “OI!” he shouted. “LOTTIE! HANNAH! You coming over or what?”

Beside him, Lili laughed. “OI!” she mimicked, deepening her voice. “Very forceful there, bruv.”

“I can be forceful when it’s necessary.” He smirked at her.

Lili gave him a cheeky smile in return. “I bet.”

Priya caught his eye and raised her perfectly arched eyebrows. Before she could say anything, Hannah and Lottie ambled over. Lottie traded air kisses and chilly greetings with Priya before taking digs at her coming in to steal someone’s partner. Priya gave the snideness right back, referring to Lottie’s Aussie accent as “rural.”

Oof. The drama was already beginning.

Clearing his throat, Noah held up his big hands. “Guys, it’s a bit early to be getting into it like this. It’s only our first day in the Villa.”

Before anyone could agree or argue, Marisol’s red lips twisted into a wicked smile. “So, Priya, have any of these boys caught your eye already?”

As if the tension wasn’t thick enough. Everyone froze and Marisol couldn’t have looked happier. She clearly relished the shocked silence.

Priya’s nervous laugh cut through the uneasy quiet. “I would say Bobby is my type straight away.”

“Which Bobby? Me Bobby?” he asked. “Wow.”

He felt Lili stiffen beside him. For a second her bright smile dimmed, but it returned so fast he wondered if he’d imagined it.

Marisol frowned at Priya. “Hmm. I’m so glad I asked.”

His brain felt like it was in a kitchen mixer. Even if he had more than a handful of self-esteem, he’d still have been shocked to know that someone as glamorous and out there as Priya, was interested in him. 

“Ibrahim is gorgeous too,” Priya continued. “But I don’t want to tread on anyone’s toes.”

Ibrahim straightened and smiled. Lili’s expression didn’t change. “I don’t mind,” she said. “We’ve literally only known each other for a few hours.”

Hope frowned at Lili’s comment, glancing worriedly at Noah. She smiled, twirling a braid around her finger. “Of course, it’s only fair you get a chance to chat to all the boys. We need to get you a drink.” She cast a disappointed look around. “Honestly, boys! It’s a party and no one has got Priya a glass of bubbly yet.”

“I’ll get it,” Ibrahim said quickly before taking off for the kitchen. Lili watched him go with an amused expression, and shook her head.

Rocco wandered over to Priya and was trying to give her his best green steel. Lottie’s lip curled. “Rocco, I think we need to have a word.”

Priya watched them walk off. She raised an eyebrow and then looked around, landing her gaze on Bobby. “I hope you come over to say hi,” she said, before swishing off to the daybeds, breasts jiggling, and hair whipping in the evening breeze.

He couldn’t stop the heat that crept into his face.

Lili’s heels clacked their way toward him. She leaned close, laughter lighting her eyes like flames. “Looks like you’re gonna need another oven glove, mate.”

He couldn’t sort out how to respond to that, before she gave him a cheeky smile and walked away.


	7. Of Graft and Glowing

As the party wound down, some people made their way upstairs to change into pyjamas, but then returned to the lawn, not quite ready to let the evening go. Bobby was not one of those people. He was sweaty and tired. The day had been more exhausting than he imagined and he wasn’t used to the sweltering heat of Majorca. While everyone else did the standard gossip and graft, he went to investigate the showers. Behind the daybed area there were two outside ones with clear glass doors, in case you wanted to really show off your _shoe size_. In the upstairs bathroom there was a bathtub with no curtain, and three more shower stalls with clear doors. One was a huge communal shower with a central showerhead. Were they taking the piss? Because that communal one wasn’t happening.

The others were smaller and designed for one person, though they were roomy enough to fit a couple. He climbed into the one that ran deep into the wall. Tilting the showerhead, he discovered that if he stood all the way in the back, he could still get a good scrub without his freckled arse being shown on national telly. He’d probably lose that shyness as he got more comfortable with the cameras, but for now he wasn’t ready to show his…situation to the entire villa.

After showering, he slid on his favorite pajama pants with slices of cake printed all over them. He grabbed the pillow with his name embroidered on it and searched for an unclaimed bed. He threw the pillow down on the first one he found, and dropped onto his back.

Priya wandered in from the dressing room in a silky purple nightie. “Hey,” she said as she passed by and stretched out like a lioness on the bed two down from his. He could feel her eyes on him. “You didn’t come see me,” she said.

“Sorry. Seemed a bit crowded.”

She nodded. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You just did.”

“Ha.” She threw her hair over her shoulder. “Seriously though.”

He sat up and grinned. “You’re way too gorgeous to talk to me, but I’m not stupid enough to stop you.” 

She giggled and gave him a flirty look. “What’s your type?”

“Right to it, eh?” 

“I don’t think there’ll be a lot of alone time around here,” she said. “Can’t waste a moment.”

“Are we having a moment?” he asked, giving her a smirk.

She smirked right back. “You tell me.”

He shrugged and rubbed a hand over his mouth. “My type would be...I like, uh…” He trailed off as Lili tiptoed out of the dressing room. She had changed into a funny set of pajamas, at odds with her earlier sexy outfit; a baggy _#Cherrygate_ t-shirt and a pair of loose shorts that said _#TeamJake_ across one thigh. Scrubbed clean of makeup, she wore a pair of black framed glasses similar to Gary’s, though they certainly looked better on her. Her hair was still in those messy buns high on her head, wisps of curls floating around her face. Without all of the artifice she was even lovelier.

He swallowed. Had she heard him talking to Priya? Did she think that he was grafting? Her expression told him nothing. “Sorry to interrupt,” she whispered, giving them a soft smile. Turning on her pretty bare feet (Jesus, what was it with him and her feet?) she disappeared down the stairs.

“Bobby?”

“Hmm?” He tried to remember what he’d been saying. “Sorry. What was the question?”

Priya laughed. “I asked about your type. But never mind. I think I have my answer.” Heat stole over his cheeks and chest and she laughed even harder. “Oh, you’re—” she thought a moment. “You’re besotted!”

“I'm offended," he said. “I don’t even know what that means.”

"It's like, when you can't get someone out of your head. You fancy them, but it's more than that. It's ALL the fancying."   
  
She peered around the empty room and then got up to look in the dressing room and then down the stairwell. Satisfied, she took a seat at the end of his bed. “So you and Lili?”

“No. I mean…no.”

“You’re a very bad liar.”

“I uh, I just…find her attractive.”

“Anyone with eyes would find her attractive. But you’re all blushy.” She played with the ends of her hair. “Have you had any moments?”

They had. The traded insults. The laughter. The daybed. He could still smell her perfume. Still see the way her lips had parted in a pink invitation that he hadn’t had the chance to accept.

“You’re silence is a yes,” Priya said.

“We didn’t kiss,” he said suddenly, not wanting people to get the wrong idea. Girls got judged unfairly for that kind of stuff and they all had to live together for the next seven weeks. Lottie would crucify Lili if she knew how much grafting they’d actually done.

Priya poked at his shoulder. “But you almost did. I can tell.”

He shrugged.

She crossed her legs and made a pouty face. “Why didn’t she pick you?”

“No idea. Let me know if you find out.”

“Hmm, okay.” Priya pursed her lips. “What about you and Marisol?”

He shrugged and lowered his voice. “I’m not seeing that going anywhere. She’s a little…”

“Intense?”

“Yeah. I like someone who’s a good laugh, you know? But I don’t think she really likes me anyhow.”

“Hmmm.” She bit her lip and stared at him.

Marisol came up the stairs and raised an eyebrow at Priya sitting on their bed. But she said nothing as she grabbed her pyjamas and disappeared into the dressing room.

“Oooooops,” Priya said. “I got you in trouble.”

“Between you and Lili, I’m up to my eyebrows in trouble.”

Climbing off the bed, she nodded. “I like you, Bobby.” She leaned close, the heavy scent of her fruity perfume surrounding him. “Lili definitely heard us talking. You might want to say something to her,” she whispered, before ruffling his dreads and sashaying off to her bed. “Good night.”

He lay back and put his arm behind his head. It’s not like Lili could be upset. She was grafting on Ibrahim, probably right this second. Maybe laughing at his bad humor. Maybe pulling him close for a kiss. He rubbed at his tired eyes and tried not to think about that. 

The bed creaked and Marisol climbed in. She jiggled beneath a pair of silky pajamas. “You alright?” she asked.

"Never better," he said. 

"Oh good." She tilted her head and gave him a look. Not just any look. THE look. She wanted a kiss. Though he was sure it was because Priya had spooked her, more than her actually desiring a snog from him. But she pressed a hand to his shirtless chest and leaned in. Acutely aware of Priya’s eyes across the room, he gave her a soft, fast kiss. More than a smooch, but barely more. Marisol gave him a disappointed look, but said goodnight and flipped over. He stared at the ceiling and sighed. This was all way more uncomfortable and confusing than he imagined.

The beep of a phone broke the silence in the room. “Oh!” Priya startled him as she shot up from her bed and raced to the door. “Guys, come over here,” she shouted down the stairs. “I got a text!”

Everyone stampeded into the room. Behind those who had raced the steps, he heard the echo of Lili’s laugh. She walked in the room, haloed in the soft stairwell lights, her skin glowing like liquid gold. Ibrahim stood next to her, his arm tight around her shoulders. He seemed a nice lad but he was like chewing gum on a shoe when it came to her.

It was annoying is what it was.

“What’s it say?” Hope asked, looking nervous.

Priya sat back down, positioning herself like the queen she clearly was, and held up her phone. “‘Priya, tomorrow you will get to choose one of the boys to couple up with, leaving one of the girls…’” she hesitated. “'Leaving one of the girls single and vulnerable. _#girlcode_.’”

“I knew it,” Lottie said.

Marisol sat up. “Interesting.”

“Looks like it’s competition time, ladies,” Hope said.

The guys looked at each other, but said nothing. People started getting into bed. Ibrahim looked around the room. He pointed at the only free bed left. Beside Bobby’s. Great. This was going to be great.

The big guy climbed into the outside spot, leaving Lili on the side next to Bobby. They were close enough that he could have reached across the space and held her hand if she’d reached out too.

She slid off her glasses and sat them on the end stand. As soon as she settled in, Ibrahim wrapped and arm around her and pulled her close. He went in for a kiss. Lili cupped his face and gave him what looked like a friendly smooch on the lips, similar to what he had given Marisol. All sweetness and no passion.

She flipped over, facing Bobby. Her wide dark eyes sought his. “Goodnight,” she whispered, so softly he barely heard it.

“Goodnight,” he whispered back.

Then the automatic lights shut off and he couldn’t see her any more. But even in the darkness, she gave off a warming glow that felt better than a sunny day in Glasgow.

Yep. He was besotted.

Fek.


	8. Dancing at Dawn

The snoring was intense. A gasping, drawn out snort that that seemed to have an echo, as if two raging wild boars were arguing politics during family dinner.

Bobby stared at the ceiling. Even without the snoring he’d be awake. Back home he worked twelve hours shifts, five days a week as a hospital caterer. Getting up at 5am was second nature, no matter how much or little sleep he’d had. And he had not slept much. Someone in the villa needed one of those machines with the Darth Vader mask to help them breathe at night. His nanna had one, but he couldn’t remember what it was called.

In the bed beside him, Ibrahim was wrapped in the entirety of the covers, his head under his pillow, one dark hairless leg sticking out from the cocoon of white sheets and blankets. Lili’s side was empty. Maybe she’d gone downstairs to shower. That thought gave his exhausted mind a burst of energy, imagining what she’d look like wearing nothing but slick soapy skin and a cheeky smile. He groaned and reached down to adjust his stauner. “Wrong time, wrong place, lad,” he whispered. To his cock. In a room full of people.

His life had taken a strange turn.

By the time he finished brushing his teeth and shaving, he’d managed to turn off the part of his brain that insisted on making naughty movies, all of them starring Lili. He left his pajama pants on and headed to the kitchen. It was too early for the camera crew, so the yard was silent.

Without a job to go to, he was a bit lost as to what to do with himself. So he made a brew and headed for the rooftop terrace to watch the sun rise and maybe practice his impressions. Never a bad time to work on his Mufasa.

The door was already cracked open when he got there. He pushed it the rest of the way with his foot. The table had been pushed off to the side and Lili stood in the middle of the terrace, her back to him, arms raised above her head, hips rolling sensuously as she danced. The soft sound of pop music came from a tiny iPod and a small speaker sitting on the table. 

She spun around, and jumped when she saw him. “Oh my god, you scared me!” She dropped her hands to her hips, and laughed. “It’s a bit early to be perving on a girl, don’t you think?”

If only she knew.

His face burned. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do…that.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “What uh, were you doing?”

“Taylor Swift dance party.” She gave him a crooked grin. “I always dance in the mornings before work. Gets me ready for the day.” She looked at the steaming mug he held. “Oh I’m sorry! You wanted a cuppa and some zen time.” She reached over and turned off the music. 

“You have me confused with Rocco,” he said. “My name is Bobby. I’m much better looking and I’ve never used the word _zen_ in my life.” He sat on the bench and propped his feet on the haphazardly-placed table. He reached out a hand and gestured for her to continue. “I need to see this.”

She shook her head. “Nope. I have a rule. You don’t get to watch me dance unless you dance too.”

“Oh, but I am no dancer.”

“Everyone’s a dancer,” she said. “If you can move a body part, even a pinky, you can dance.” She clicked her music back on. “You may not be able to do it well, but you _can_ do it and that’s all that’s required for a roof terrace dance party.”

“I’ll pass.”

She tilted her head and gave him a smile sweeter than any cupcake he’d ever baked. “Please?”

“Oh, that wasn’t fair,” he said.

“What? Asking please?”

“No that face. You did a thing.”

Her eyebrows drew together. “What thing?”

“If I told you, you’d do it again.” He stood up. “You get one song, lass. One. And I plan to dance like an idiot. Just so you know. It’s not going to be accidental.”

Her eyes widened with excitement. “Yay!”

And that is how Bobby ended up doing the floss and the hype and the old school running man to “…Ready for it?” Lili gave up dancing halfway through and just doubled over in laughter, which felt like a victory. When Taylor hit the last breathily challenging, “Are you ready for it?” he collapsed on the bench. He was covered in sweat and his thighs hurt. Guess he needed to add cardio to his workouts.

“So you do this every day?” he said when he’d caught his breath.

“I do. It energizes me. My job is heavy on meetings and phone calls and boring minutiae. It’s important to start the day optimistic.”

He put his feet on the table and patted the seat. She sat and matched his pose, propping her feet beside his.

“I like your pyjama pants,” she said, pointing at the yellow pants with slices of cake all over them. “Very on brand, pastry chef. Just how much of your wardrobe is food related?”

“A surprising amount. They were a gift from my sister Abigail. She’s bought me clothes with cakes, doughnuts, forks, spoons, you name it. She’s a funny lass.”

“Older or younger?”

“Younger. She’s nineteen and an absolute sweetie.” He picked up the tea mug and took a drink. “Well it’s not hot anymore, but—” He held it out to her. “I only made one. We can share, if you like.”

Her face lit up, but she shook her head. “You don’t have to do that.”

He shook the mug at her. She slid it from his hands and took a dainty sip, her lips pressed to the same spot his had been. “Oh, that’s still a good cuppa.”

“I’m told I make a good one.” He sat back and watched her silently sip. “So, if we’re discussing jammies, what’s this about?” he asked, tugging on the edge of her shirt.

She gave him an amused side eye. “What do you mean?”

“All of the other girls put on sexy nighties and you’re over here looking ready for a primary school sleepover.” He pulled on one of the frizzy curls that had fallen out of her lopsided hair bun.

“What? You’re telling me this isn’t sexy?” She stood and strutted round the table, jutting out her hip and doing a pretty good super model pose. “Just look at all of this exposed…” she gestured to her legs. “Knee.”

“Those are some sexy knees,” he said, laughing. How could she be simultaneously so beautiful and so cute? Shouldn’t it be one or the other?

“Right? Look how symmetrical they are. It doesn’t get hotter than that.” She tossed herself back beside him. “Anyway, it’s a bit like secondary school here, isn’t it? We played Truth or Dare for crying out loud. You just know Seven Minutes in Heaven is in our future. “

“Yeah I suppose so. Just like secondary school, the girls are territorial, the guys are swaggering.”

She bobbed her head. “And everyone’s horny and obsessed with relationship status.”

“Too true. And no one wants to admit they have body hair. Or acne.”

The bench shook along with her shoulders as she laughed. “It _is_ secondary school! We signed up for this, can you believe it?”

“The truly sad bit is that two adults were peer pressured into this by their well-meaning friends.” He paused. “So you didn’t enjoy Truth or Dare?”

“Not really,” she said. “You?

He shook his head. “No.”

“Why?”

He could have made a dumb joke. He had at least three at the ready. But she stared at him with those big sweet eyes and when he opened his mouth, the words that came out were not what he’d planned. “Secondary school was a misery and I… playing those games was always awkward. I was the only brown kid in my school. My dad’s Jamaican. My mum is white. The things people said…” He blinked. That wasn’t something he cared to share with anyone. But he’d said it so easily, as if it hadn’t been a stone in his shoe his entire childhood.

“I get it.” She held out her hand and looked at her skin. “My mum was black and Mexican. Came to the UK for a holiday and met my dad. He was black and white. I moved around a lot as a kid and some places were really diverse and at others, I was the only diversity. People can be cruel. Especially children.”

He cupped his hand over hers. She turned her palm, intertwining their fingers. He was lighter than she was, his brown skin more pink than gold. The copper to her bronze.

“You said _was_. About your mum…”

“She’s gone. My dad too.”

As messed up as his family was, he couldn’t imagine his mum or his dad just not being there anymore. Forever. The thought made his chest tighten. “I’m so sorry.”

She shrugged. “It happens.” Gently, she unraveled her hand from his and sat it on her lap. “People leave.”

They sat in silence after that, as the first tendrils of light rose up in the horizon. It was already hot enough to fry square sausage on the pavement. He couldn’t imagine what a scorcher it would be later in the day. Glasgow was much colder. He missed his gray, bustling city, but he had to admit, paradise was called paradise for a reason. It was beautiful there.

He drained the last of the tea. “All gone,” he said, feeling sad about it. He never sat so quietly for so long. It was nice.

“I should go get ready before the dressing room is overrun,” she said, grabbing the mug from him. “I’ll take this down and wash it.”

“No. I made it. I’ll clean up.”

She didn’t respond. Instead she bent low and kissed his cheek, her warm lips brushing his freshly shaven skin. She hesitated.

_Do it_, he whispered in his head. _Do what you’re thinking about._ His gnawing need to kiss her overwhelmed him. He reached for her, intending to end her indecision. To pull her face to his and find out if this was lust or something more rare and dangerous.

Before he could get there, she pulled back. “We’re both coupled up. And not to each other.”

“That’s actually your fault. If you had picked me we’d be snogging right now,” he said.

Her lips lifted into a rueful smile. “But I didn’t. So we can’t.” She gave his hand a squeeze before walking away.

The door to the terrace shut firmly behind her, and then he was alone, with nothing but want pounding in his chest and the sun pulsing in his eyes. 

  
  
*****


	9. This Day Dream is Dangerous (Lili Confessional #1)

In the confession hut, which was actually a side room in the villa decorated to look like a beach hut, Lili sat in a giant wicker chair, her legs crisscrossed in front of her. It wasn’t the most flattering pose for a girl in a bikini, but fuck it. If they wanted someone with a concave stomach, they shouldn’t have chosen her. She liked food.

The producers, Deena and Isaac, asked all sorts of questions. Some of them leading. Some of them not. Anything she said could be shredded up and delivered to the fans of the show however they wanted, so she tried to give answers that couldn’t be misinterpreted, though she already knew it was a losing battle.

“How do you feel about Ibrahim?” Deena asked.

“Ibrahim is lovely. He’s really sweet. His chat is fumbly, but it’s charming that way.”

Isaac smiled. “And how was that kiss? You didn’t let him kiss you again, we noticed.”

“It was a good kiss. I just felt like it was enough for the first night.” It had been a wonderful kiss actually. She’d decided to really go for it and give the people at home a show, but it was awkward because after, Ibrahim kept angling for more kisses and she simply wasn’t sure she wanted more yet. In real life she would never kiss someone like that if she’d just met them. That was a fifth date kiss for her. Which is why most guys never stuck around past date three.

“You said last night that Bobby was the one who you found hottest. Were you trying to make Ibrahim jealous or did you mean it? “

“I don’t play games. I felt bad about choosing Bobby, but I try to be honest. He is the hottest boy here. He’s such a laugh.”

“And yet, you didn’t you choose him. Why?”

She had been dreading this question since she sat down. Trying to explain the Bobby conundrum was impossible. She’d been up half the night trying to sort it out. “I just didn’t pick him. No reason. I wanted to get to know Ibrahim.”

Deena pushed harder. “What do you find attractive about Bobby?”

The lights were burning the top of her head and Lili hesitated. “Can we move that light, please? It’s too hot.”

Isaac nodded and someone appeared to move it back a bit.

“So, Bobby,” Deena said, not letting it go. “What makes him the hottest?”

“I don’t know if it’s a specific feature.” She simply refused to natter on about his sexy smirk. Or his muscles. The hands. The drizzling honey eyes that turned her insides upside down. And certainly she wouldn’t bring up the freckles. Oh, the freckles. He was simply too gorgeous to be real. Only an artist could craft something so perfect in its imperfections.

No she wouldn’t be that melty about a boy she’d literally just met.

“Lili, please remember that we expect honesty. The public expects it as well. You won’t last long if you don’t give them that.” Isaac gave her a tight smile. “You don’t want to go home, do you?”

Oh god. She couldn’t afford to leave early. She stretched her budget well-past the breaking point for the clothes and the shoes. The pay for being on the show barely covered flat rent, and only flights and hotels were reimbursable. The trick was that the further she got into the competition, the better the pay. And of course, if she won the fifty-thousand pounds—well twenty-five thousand once it was split—well, that would be worth the total loss of her dignity. At least that was what Lauren said as she hugged Lili hard enough to crack her back and shoved her on the plane to Majorca.

“So let’s start again,” Deena said, soothingly. “You and Bobby have had some moments. That almost-kiss on the daybeds, wow. The chemistry between you two has been otherworldly. Even with all the tests and assessments we did, nothing predicted that.” She patted Lili’s foot. “It’s clear from the second you saw him that something was there. What was going on in your head that made you decide not to pick him?”

She chewed on her lower lip as she considered her words. “You know that feeling where your pulse pounds in your ears? It’s loud and whoosh-y, like hearing the ocean in a conch?”

Deena nodded.

“He smiled at me and it was like that. So loud it hurt my ears. He hurt me just by standing there, being beautiful and funny. I know he’s going to—” she huffed a heavy breath.

Deena leaned forward, intrigued. “He’s going to what?”

She swallowed and stared down at her hands. “He’s going to break my heart. I knew it the moment I saw him.”

When she looked up she saw Isaac grin at Deena, who smirked back. It made her feel even more uneasy than when she’d sat down.   
  
Damn her honesty. It never earned her anything but regret. 

She probably should have just lied and told them she liked Ibrahim’s abs more.


	10. Follow the Sparks, I'll Drive

It was hot enough to fry the freckles right off of Bobby’s chest. He lay back on his grass, brain hazy from the sun and watched the show unfold.

Priya sat perched on a nearby sun lounger, in a metallic gold bathing suit that hardly contained her glistening oiled breasts. Every man in the villa, save for Noah, surrounded her, rapt, as any man would be.

Lottie sat with her back to everyone, tattooed legs dangling in the infinity pool, pretending not to be listening to the conversation. Bobby shook his head. He liked Lottie, he really did, but she was exhausting. She’d declared emotional warfare on Priya, and spent the morning shifting between shunning and trading snide insults with her. It was clear she’d been hurt by other girls, hurt badly, and viewed Priya as a threat to her heart. But the reality was that Rocco was the real threat. The guy was eye-banging every girl in the villa. Even now, while Rocco talked to Priya, his eyes were crawling all over Lili, who sat on another lounger, rubbing sun cream on her arms; Ibrahim draped over her shoulders like a giant, ab-riddled quilt.

“Weren’t you in a ‘Hot Men of Golf’ calendar, Ibrahim?” Priya asked.

Ibrahim twitched. “I—it was ‘Men of Golf’, and it was the most embarrassing photo.”

“Shirtless I’m told,” Lili said. “I bet it was dreamy.”

Bobby sat up on his elbows. “Can we call you ‘Ibrahim the Dream’?”

“Please don’t. But my friends call me Rahim.”

Priya leaned forward, pointing her sizable assets his way. “Can I be your friend, Rahim?”

His eyes glazed over. “Hell no,” he said abruptly.

Everyone went quiet. Priya’s eyes softened with hurt and her lower lip jutted out. “Oh?”

Ibrahim stumbled his way through an explanation babbling about the show _Friends_, until he gave up, smacking his head with his meaty palm. “What I mean is, with a beautiful lady like yourself, I’d wish to be more than friends.”

“We’ve got to work on your chat, mate” Gary said, cringing.

Priya beamed. Her gaze, and everyone else’s, flicked to Lili, who was massaging sun cream onto the tops of her feet. She stopped and smiled warmly at Ibrahim, as if she were happy to see him getting on with another girl. Unlike Lottie, Lili maintained a steadfast cheerfulness with Priya that Bobby found fascinating, laughing even as the newcomer flirted with Ibrahim right in front of her.

“Seeing as we’re all getting to know each other...” Priya turned. “You ever done it in a kitchen, Bobby?”

He nearly choked on his water, and laughed to cover his discomfort. There were few things in life he felt truly confident about, but sex was one of them. He was excellent at the deed, but talking about it was a whole other thing. Feeling trapped he shared an awkward story about a time he almost fucked a girl who’d requested his help in making chicken and leek pie for her family dinner. But since neither of them had a condom, they finished rolling out the pie dough, and then he made her a toastie instead.

“That’s really responsible,” Lili said.

“Well, you have to be, don’t you?”

Ibrahim slid his hand over Lili’s, his gaze intense. “Personally, I do everything I can to keep my partner safe.”

Priya looked down at Ibrahim’s hand. A scowl passed over her face but it disappeared as quickly as it came. Bobby suddenly felt much closer to her. Ibrahim was such a melt.

“What were we talking about before we got onto condoms?” Priya asked.

Bobby laughed at her mental detour. “I have no idea. My head’s in a spin and I really fancy a cheese toastie.”

Marisol, sitting on the grass beside Bobby, tilted her head and stared hard at Lili. “That’s what you’re fancying, is it?”

He didn’t answer and he didn’t look at Lili.

Eventually, Priya asked about Hope and Noah, who hadn’t made an appearance all morning. Bobby knew they were probably still upstairs going at each other. At least they’d been when he’d gone up to get his water bottle. He kept his gob shut and played with the grass tickling his arm.

“I’m so tired of them,” Lottie said, breaking her heated silence. “They’re so fake.”

Lili’s brow furrowed. “I think it’s real mostly. When you find your person it’s hard to play it cool. Especially in a place like this.” Her brown eyes skimmed past him and she looked down.

“Maybe.” He shrugged as though those seconds of Lili’s eyes on him hadn’t raised his blood pressure. He didn’t doubt that Hope and Noah’s attraction was real. Noah looked punch drunk by her affection, and Hope… well she was territorial, which right now, Noah didn’t seem to mind. But it made Bobby’s insides clench with discomfort. On the outside Hope was confident and fun, but there was a brittle insecurity to her that reminded him far too much of his mum. It made him remember things he hated thinking about. All of her glares at anyone who looked at his dad, the constant accusations, screaming matches, and crying fits. His father was a quiet man. Funny and kind. After working so many hours at the hospital, changing bed pans and soothing the fears of the sick, he’d return home to fights that started in his wife’s mind long before he ever walked in the door.

Jealousy was a cancer that destroyed everything good. Noah was a decent lad. He didn’t deserve to lose his smile to someone like that. Bobby picked at the grass until his hands were coated in black soil.

Lottie sniped at Priya for a few minutes, who gave it back, until Lottie stood up, water rushing off her pale legs and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “As riveting as it is to listen to Priya decide which of our partners to steal, I need to find Hannah and Hope. It’s time for a strategy chat.” She turned and looked over her shoulder at Lili. “Coming?”

“Actually, Lili I’d like to have a chat with you first,” Ibrahim said. “If you want to, that is. I’ll be over by the daybeds.”

She stared between the two of them. “I’ll be there in a few minutes, Lottie,” she said, earning herself a glare from Lottie and a grin from Ibrahim, as they both walked away. Lili stood, giving Priya a warm smile as she squeezed her hand. “Choose with your heart, babes. We’ll all be alright.”

Priya squeezed her hand back. “You’re such a doll. But I think you’re the only one who thinks that.”

Lili grabbed her empty water bottle and headed toward the kitchen. Bobby swallowed, his tongue suddenly feeling too thick for his mouth. She had chosen Ibrahim over the girls. That was a statement wasn’t it? Lottie sure seemed to think it was. She was going to talk to her man first.

No. Bobby stood. He wanted to be first.

Before he could decide it was a stupid idea, he ran after her. “Hey,” he said, knocking into her with his shoulder. “I’m glad I bumped into you.”

She raised a brow, amusement dancing in her dark eyes. “Jogging towards me is ‘bumping’ into me?”

“There’s not really an easy way to say hi to someone after running after them, is there? Anyway, I have a question for you.”

She glanced over to the daybeds. “Rahim wanted to have a chat, but uh, sure.”

Relieved to get a yes, he gestured for her to follow him to the sink, out of earshot of everyone. He took her bottle and filled it with water and sat it on the counter.

She gave him a worried look. “Everything all right?”

“Yeah. It’s just. This is really important.” He took her hand and leaned close. “Do you like cupcakes?”

Her face lit up. “Are you even alive if you don’t?”

“No, you’re not. You’re the walking dead and I’m sad for you.” He grinned. “The producers stocked up so I could bake while I’m here. Got a preference?”

“I’m a fan of all things sweet. But I do love chocolate.”

He grinned. “Then chocolate the lass will have.”

“Is this how you plan to graft on me? Because I have to say, it’s a sound tactic.” She stared at him, her eyes drifting over his face slowly.

They stood side by side, and his body tingled with little zaps of awareness at every point their bodies touched. The sides of their bare feet, her full hip against his upper thigh. Their elbows grazing like a first soft kiss.

He raised his foot slightly, brushing it against hers. She brushed his back. Her eyes never left the side of his face. She looked as though she were concentrating on something important. “What am I gonna do with you, pastry chef?”

“Fall madly in love. That’s what you’re gonna do with me,” he said, giving her a cocky grin.

“Hmm,” she said, shaking her head. “That seems like a bad idea.”

“There are no bad ideas, Lili. Only great ideas that go horribly wrong.”

“Ha!” She grabbed her water bottle, and spun away, breaking the wall of electricity between their bodies.

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. “I don’t know how much longer I can go without kissing you,” he said softly. 

She searched his eyes as if she thought he was making a joke. “I’m a master at delayed gratification,” she said. Her eyes dropped to his lips and she swallowed. “Clearly something I’m better at that than you are.”

“Oh-ho, the shade. So this is an endurance test?”

She smirked. “Are you up for it?”

He looked around the yard. Most everyone had dispersed. Ibrahim was over on the beds, chatting to Gary, both of them facing the pool.

“I might be. If I manage to win this little battle, and you kiss me before I kiss you, what do I win?”

“Beyond my spectacular kiss?”

“Well you’d be getting _my_ spectacular kiss too, so that part is a wash.”

Her breathy laugh made him tingle. “What’s the fun in telling you the prize now? You’ll just have to guess if it’s worth the wait.” Her fingernails tickled down his stomach, stopping at the trail of hair just below his belly button.

A low rumble started in his throat as his brain conjured a new naughty movie starring Lili. _The Prize. _Damn, that one was going to keep him awake.

“Oh, you’re so going to lose,” she said, reading his thoughts.

He returned the smirk she’d kindly given him earlier and breached the space between them. She took a step backward but had nowhere to go. He spread his hand, resting his thumb on her chin and his fingers on the side of her neck, trailing them lightly against her skin. Using his thumb and the barest pressure he pushed her head to the side. Behind her ear, there was a tiny white line, he thought might be a scar, but as he looked closer, it was a tattoo of a word he didn’t recognize. Lucha. He stroked his finger over the tiny raised letters and let his breath out slow and warm against her ear. She gasped and arched her neck toward his mouth. He laughed low in his chest. “Are you sure I’m going to lose, lass?”

Her cheeks were pink and there was no hiding the hard points of her breasts in that little bikini. “I’d better go.” Her voice was wobbly and she nervously pushed at the loose curls that refused to be trapped in her hair buns.

Up until then, she’d been remarkably good at playing cool, whether he was accidentally being rude, or hitting on her. He hoped he hadn’t gone too far. He stepped away. “By all means. Rahim the Dream is waiting.”

She gave him a smile and slid her sunglasses from the top of her head to the bridge of her nose. He stared at the ground, watching the shadows the sun cast through the leaves of the trees chasing her feet as she left.


	11. A Light Shining Through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a small change to this chapter. When I originally wrote this, I made up Bobby's last name since we didn't know it. I went with Clowney, because it made me laugh. Since then, LITG has told us that Bobby's last name is McKenzie. Because I plan to reference his last name later in the story, I thought it would be less confusing if I just changed it to McKenzie. So if you're wondering where Clowney went, it is but a memory. 
> 
> This was a lot of words. 
> 
> TLDR: Changed Bobby's last name from Clowney to McKenzie because reasons.

“I got a text!” Hannah hollered. “My first missive from our island overlords!”

Everyone gathered around her. “We’re playing ‘Two Truths and a Lie’,” she said. “Basically, we each have to say two true things and one falsehood and we have to guess which one is the lie!”

Everyone raced to the firepit. Ibrahim immediately started pacing. “I hate these kinds of games. I can never read people.” He looked at Lili with panicked eyes.

She grabbed his arm. “Breathe. It’s just a game and you’re going to be fine. Stick with me. I’m good at this stuff.”

Ibrahim breathed out slowly. “Okay. It’s just a game.”

“I probably won’t do very well either, Rahim. I only just met everyone,” Priya said, putting her hand on his arm and giving it a squeeze.

The game turned out to be pretty fun despite the return of humorless Noah, who got Hope’s wrong, and then Hope got Noah’s wrong too. Then they sniped at each other. But Bobby even had fun with Marisol, who seemed to have relaxed and let herself be a little goofy.

Lili was very good at the game. She guessed lie after lie. When it was Bobby’s turn, he put his fist under his chin and pursed his lips. “I have to think. It’s hard to keep all my lies straight.”

Lottie frowned. “Men who joke about lying always tell lies.” Marisol nodded in agreement.

“Kidding! Geez!” he said. “Okay. I’ve won an award for my buttercream. I used to sing in a punk band. And—”

“What was the band called?” Gary asked, his eyes narrowed.

“Er, Paisley Cuddle,” he said. “And I once lasted over three minutes and thirty two seconds on a mechanical bull.”

“The buttercream could be true. Bobby does pastry as a hobby,” Lottie said.

Bobby frowned. “It’s more of an ambition than a hobby, but yes.”

Rocco narrowed his eyes. “But he does catering full-time, so…”

“Are you throwing shade, Rocco? You cook in a truck!”

Then they argued over whether food truck work was more important than sit down restaurants.

“Street food is an art unto itself,” Rocco said, bristling.

“So is pastry!” Lottie snarled.

Hannah blinked her big blue eyes. “It’s all just different kinds of delicious, isn’t it?”

Rocco’s face softened. “Hannah is as correct as she is cute.” He gave her a wink.

Oof. Before Lottie could kick off about Rocco’s flirting again, Bobby jumped in. “People, people. The attention’s meant to be on me.”

“He’s lying about the bull,” Gary said. “He wishes!”

“I don’t know. Paisley Cuddle doesn’t sound like a real band name. That has to be the lie.” Hope said.

While everyone argued, Lili leaned forward, spilling from her little green bikini in a most pleasant way. “It’s the buttercream.”

“Are you suggesting that my buttercream isn’t prize-worthy?” he said, putting his hand on his chest. “Just tear my heart out, why don’t you?”

Her dimples peeked out. “I would never suggest such a thing. But I mean, what would a buttercream award even look like?”

“That’s what I’m trying to say,” Rocco said. “There’s no such thing as a buttercream prize!”

Bobby grinned at Lili. “Though it pains me to say it, Rocco’s right. I wish there was a buttercream prize, because I would win, _Lili_,” he said, giving her a faux surly look. “But for now, I remain buttercream prize-less.”

“To be fair, I have no way of knowing your buttercream talents as you haven’t baked for me yet,” Lili said.

“Oh but when I do…”

“I’ll be singing your buttercream praises?”

“And how.” He winked at her.

Gary rubbed at his blond beard. “Three and a half minutes on a mechanical bull? Really?”

“Scouts honor.” He just didn’t mention the part where he was hanging on sideways with his legs swinging in the air. Or that he boaked copiously afterward.

When it was Lili’s turn, she chewed on the inside of her lip before standing. She cleared her throat. “Tom Hiddleston caught me weeing in his yard, I have seven tattoos, and I didn’t lose my virginity until I was twenty-one.”

“Ooh.” Priya slapped Ibrahim on the chest. “This will give me a chance to see what kind of couple you two are!”

Ibrahim’s eyes widened. “Oh I see how it is!” He shifted uncomfortably. “Uh, well Lili is… um…”

“It’s definitely not the tattoo one,” Rocco said. His eyes slithered over her. Her bikini didn’t hide much and her skin appeared glowing and unmarked. “With all that gorgeous body on display, we’d see at least one of them.”

“Ugh,” Lottie said, giving Rocco a dirty look. “He’s gross, but he’s not wrong.”

Bobby smirked at Rocco’s searching eyes and Ibrahim’s wrinkled brow as they studied her. They had no idea that she had at least one tattoo. A tiny secret behind her ear, whispered only to those she let close enough to kiss her there. A sweet surprise, like the edible flowers he sometimes hid in his pastries. 

“I think she has stealth tattoos.” He caught Lili’s eye and gave her a wink. Her lips twitched, cracking her stoic mask for a second.

Hope shook her head. “Are stealth tattoos a thing?”

“Is no one going to talk about the Tom Hiddleston one?” Hannah said. “Because I would die if that happened.”

“No way she lost her virginity at twenty-one,” Gary mused. “That was only three years ago.”

“I disagree. I could see her waiting.” Marisol looked Lili up and down in a slow, lingering sweep that made Bobby pause. “I suspect Lili’s optimism and energy are often mistaken as her being a party girl but you can be one without the other.” She pursed her lips. “It could also be a trick. What if she’s _still_ a virgin?”

Everyone froze and looked at Lili as if you could tell someone’s sexual history from their face. She gave exaggerated innocent blink but otherwise didn’t react.

She did say she was a master at delayed gratification. And that she never made much time for dating. Was it possible she’d lost her virginity even later than he had? Or hadn’t lost it at all? At twenty he’d been the lone virgin among his friends and they never let him forget it. He’d felt backward and left behind. And that’s why, once he shed that particular pair of shackles he spent three years making up for lost time, and banging his way through half of greater Glasgow. He wasn’t proud of his behavior looking back. There should’ve been no shame in not being ready. And while he didn’t lament the skills he brought to the bedroom, his numbers were rightfully alarming to some girls.

Had Lili been the same? Shameful and unable to give away that bit of herself, the way he had? Or had she been happy and willing to wait for something more than a rushed, drunken hookup in the backroom of an Indian tapas restaurant? And now, he wondered how many guys had touched her the way he had earlier? How many guys had explored her skin, searching for six other potentially fictional tattoos? How many had made her come out of her skin with pleasure the way he knew he could if she let him?

“It’s the tattoos,” Rocco said.

Ibrahim looked at Priya. “What do you say?”

“I was going to ask you! You’re the one in the couple!” she said with a laugh.

“But I’m bad at this! I’m thrown.”

Priya swept her hair off her shoulder. “Alright! I think the virginity one is the lie.”

Ibrahim shook his head. “I really wasn’t so sure about that one.”

“It’s the virginity one,” Bobby said. “Priya’s right. She wouldn’t have said the tattoo thing if it weren’t true, and I fully believe she peed in front of Tom Hiddleston.”

Lili threw back her head and laughed. “Thank you for your belief in me.”

“What about the tattoos?” Rocco cried.

Lili held up her hand. “Okay, okay. Priya and Bobby are both correct. I didn’t lose my virginity at twenty-one.”

“I told you!” Gary said.

“I lost it at twenty-two.”

He stopped celebrating. “Are you serious?”

Ibrahim blinked slowly as if he didn’t believe her.

“Yep.”

The whole group stared silently at her. “W-Why?” Marisol asked, finally.

Lili shrugged. “I like to take my time. And dating was never a priority for me.”

“Aren’t you on the wrong show, then?” Hope asked.

“It’s a shame that our culture puts such pressure on women to think that they have to date to enjoy their sacred sexual energies,” Rocco said.

Lottie rolled her eyes. “Oh shut up.”

“So how many—” Gary began.

Bobby pointed two fingers at him. “Don’t be that guy.”

“I was right!” Priya pumped her arm and then high fived Rahim.

“Um, I’m actually the one who got it right,” Bobby said. “Where’s my high five?”

Lili held her hand up. “I’ll give you one,” she said innocently.

He eyed her warily. “I haven’t known you very long, but I’ve known you long enough to believe that this is gonna end with me left hanging or you smacking me in the forehead.”

She shrugged and shook her hand at him. “Don’t wuss out on me.”

He leaned in with his hand held out and she smacked him in the forehead.

“See this is why I have trust issues.” He rubbed at the spot and tried not to laugh at her smug expression.

“Wait, I want to know about Tom Hiddleston!” Hannah said.

“No-no-no,” Bobby said. “You’re all missing the bigger picture here. We need to see these seven tattoos. What if she’s lying about that?”

Lili put her hand over her chest. “Robert, are you doubting me?”

Hmm. No one called him Robert, not even his mum. Why did that turn him on? “I am.”

“I swear I have seven tattoos.”

“Show or I’m calling you a cheater.”

“You’re just trying to get me out of my clothes.”

“You’re hardly wearing any so it’s fine.”

She laughed. “Alright, I’ll show you one.” She walked up to him and reached for the front of her bikini. His pulse shot up. He had no idea how anyone else reacted because all he saw was Lili, her eyes flashing with mischief as she looked at him. Then she grinned and raised her hand in front of his face. “It’s a lot more difficult than that to get in my bikini.” She pointed at the space between her ring finger and pinkie. He looked closely. In tiny curving cursive, in white ink, just like the one behind her ear, was another tattoo so small it looked like a scar.

“What’s it say?”

“Campechana,” she said, the word was breathy and rolled off her tongue like sweet wine. “It’s Spanish.”

“What does it mean?”

Marisol stirred beside him. “That’s cute! It means good—”

Lili gave her a secretive smile and held a finger up to her lips, shushing her. “It doesn’t mean what you think it means. It’s Latin Spanish not Castilian.” She turned to Bobby and poked a finger at him. “And you, pastry chef, I’m surprised you don’t already know.”

“So tell me,” he said, poking a finger back at her.

“Nope. The only way I share that is if you’ve seen the rest of my tattoos. So…” Her shoulder rose and fell in a delicate shrug.

“That’s just one,” Rocco said.

“And that’s all you’re getting,” she said with a grin. “Anyway, I really peed in Tom Hiddleston’s yard.” She proceeded to tell an elaborate tale of a date that dragged her to a party at a celebrity’s house. She wanted to leave but couldn’t find her date. She had to go to the bathroom, but the lines were all the way down the stairs. So she wandered into the back yard, got turned around because the houses looked the same and ended up peeing behind a tree, only to have the back lights come on and Tom Hiddleston come out to investigate. “There was no fence between the properties! How was I supposed to know? He was very gentlemanly about it and let me use his loo to wash up. He said it wasn’t the first time it had happened. I took a taxi home.”

Hannah clapped her hands. “That’s the best story!”

“But the bull,” Bobby said. “What about me, Hannah? What about me?”

She patted him lightly on the shoulder. “There there.”

“That’s the end of the game,” Marisol said. “I can’t believe Lili got everyone’s lies right.”

Despite the good end, the game seemed to have brought everyone’s moods down. Bobby watched anxiously as Noah and Hope wandered off to talk. Hope looked tense. “I hope they’re okay.”

“I’m sure they’re fine,” Marisol said. “The game really showed some cracks in the relationships. That’s going to spook some people.”

“Yeah it was brutal,” Gary said.

Priya was standing quietly beside Bobby, her expression thoughtful.

Across the firepit, Ibrahim was holding Lili’s hand and saying something serious and soft. She nodded and he leaned down and kissed her. She had to get up on her tiptoes to meet him. Ibrahim pulled her closer and his hands slid down her lower back, hovering at the curve of her ass. Bobby’s eyes narrowed.

“What do you think?” Priya murmured. “Is there a chance of getting between those two?”

“I think there is,” Marisol said, answering for him. “It’s clear he’s into her more than she is into him. A girl like Lili is good at taking care of everyone else. She needs someone aggressive enough to take care of her. To grab her and kiss her and to make her feel loved. I’ll bet that’s why she didn’t sleep with just anyone when she was younger. She’s been waiting for someone special to put in the effort.” Marisol’s voice was dreamy and soft. She looked at their questioning eyes and her cheeks reddened. “I mean that’s what it seems like.”

Well well well. More competition for Lili’s affection. Fun.

“Anyway.” Marisol adjusted her glasses. “Ibrahim’s easily wowed by a pretty face and you’ve certainly got that, Priya.”

“She’s more than that,” he said. “That’s a bit unkind.”

“My intention is not to be unkind. I’m talking from Ibrahim’s point-of-view. He doesn’t like prying into people because he doesn’t like anyone prying into him. I don’t think it was just anxiety that made him unable to guess Lili’s lie. He genuinely knows very little about her.” She tossed her hair aside. “Some of us were talking about how well you can know someone after two days and I asked Ibrahim to tell me something about her that no one else here knew, and he started panicking because he couldn’t come up with a single thing they’d discussed. But then again, I suppose none of us know much about her.”

Ibrahim’s hands made slow sweeps up and down Lili’s back. Like he owned her. Like he knew her. Bobby bristled at it. “She loves Taylor Swift,” he murmured. “Her best friend’s name is Lauren. And both of her parents died when she was young.” He looked away from the two of them. “And her favorite cupcake flavor is chocolate.”

Marisol crossed her arms and assessed him. “Someone’s been taking notes on our little villa sweetheart, haven’t they?”

He crossed his arms to match hers and smiled. “And I’m not the only one, am I?”

“Do you blame me?” Marisol gave a sultry laugh. “You and I are hardly catching fire are we?”

They really weren’t. He liked her, but he felt naked beneath her snapping gaze and he hated that feeling. So he’d done what he always did. He’d started treating her like a good mate. The Robert Thomas McKenzie special.

Gary grinned at Marisol, looking her up and down. “So you two haven’t fallen into stupid like Hope and Noah, eh?”

Marisol shook her head. “Sadly, no.”

“How can you say that?” Bobby said. “I carried such a torch.”

She gave him a playful shove. “No you haven’t.”

“Bobby,” Priya said suddenly. “Can we chat for a moment?”

Marisol waved him off, her flirty smile heavy on Gary. _Good luck, mate_, Bobby thought as he followed Priya upstairs, through the dressing room to the rooftop terrace.

Priya squinted against the bright sun and sat the bench seat, patting the space beside her. He sat and eyed her warily.

“Bobby, I need to be honest with you.”

He crossed his leg over his knee. “If you’re going to tell me you’re interested in Lili too, I might have to burn the villa down.”

She laughed and shook her head. “No. I’m interested in you,” she said. “And Ibrahim. I’m doing my best here to make the right choice. He and Lili seem happy, and you and Marisol don’t.”

His foot shook with nervous energy and he pressed a hand to stop it. What could he say? She wasn’t wrong.

“How would you feel if I chose you?” Her lips curled into a nervous smile.

“I’d be flattered,” he said. Which was true. A woman like Priya? Amazing. His friends back home would lose it to see him with someone so stunning.

“But?”

“No but,” he said, slowly. “I think we’d have a lot of fun together.” The reality was there was no way of knowing what Lili would do. There was something simmering between them, but she had a lot of options and she’d already chosen someone else over him once.

“I think so too,” she said. “But…”

“Now you have a but?”

“Yeah, just not as nice as Lili’s!” Priya threw back her head and laughed. “Puns! I love them.” She grinned. “Anyway, back to my other but. You’re flattered but you’re not excited.”

“I’m—I don’t know what I feel.”

Priya slid closer until knees were tight together and pressed her palm to his bare chest. “Let’s find out.” She leaned in and waited for him to close the distance.

He didn’t know what to do. Here was this stunning, perfect girl wanting a kiss from him but he could only think of Lili, who’d challenged him _not_ to kiss her_._ What was wrong with him? All this relationship stuff was beyond him in the best of circumstances, but he was good at this part. So he tilted his head and met her lips. It started soft, but Priya had no patience for that. She deepened the kiss, opening her lips and he pushed closer, eager to feel lust for someone else. To feel relief from his obsessive attraction to Lili. But as the kiss went on, it got less and less exciting. Beneath the taste of champagne and lipstick was the bitter flavor of guilt.

Priya pulled back giggling and wiped the lipstick off his mouth. “You’re a great kisser. First class honours.” She leaned her head back. “But you weren’t really here, were you?” She sighed. “I thought that would make it easier, but it didn’t. I like Lili. She’s so kind. And no matter which of you two I choose…” She reached up and tugged on the ends of her hair. “I can tell she really likes you. You two spark off each other.”

They sat quietly for a moment and he felt twitchy in the stillness. It wasn’t like with Lili, where her energy filled the silence so he didn’t have to.

“I want you to answer honestly,” Priya said. “What is it about her?”

He pressed his hand to his still shaking foot. “Do you bake?”

“No,” she said raising an eyebrow. “That should be obvious.”

“When it’s wet or cold out, I especially like to bake. And when I open the oven to check the pastries, the heat—” he waved his hands toward his face. “It washes over me and it feels so good that it makes me dizzy and I wish I could stay there with the door open forever, because everything smells sweet and buttery and—and I’m warm all over. I love that feeling. I’d only ever felt that in front of the oven.”

“Until her,” Priya said.

“It’s probably lust,” he said. Hoping it was true. Lust was an easy fix.

“Guys,” Lili called from the yard. “I got a text!”

Priya’s eyes widened with panic. “Do you think it’s…” she bit her lip.

He nodded and held out a hand, to help her up from the bench.

She gripped his arm. “I might pass out. I didn’t expect it to feel this intense.”

“Tell me two truths and a lie,” he said, hoping to distract her.

“Okay.” She pushed her hair off one shoulder. “Banoffee pie is disgusting. I’m allergic to perfume. And uh, this is going to go great.”

“They’re all lies aren’t they?”

“You got me,” she said with a weak laugh.

He walked her downstairs, into the blistering sun.

It was time.


	12. Just Outside the Circle of Light

Everyone sat anxiously at the firepit. Hope looked grim and clutched Noah’s arm so tightly he winced. Warm against Bobby’s side, Lili was jammed between him and Ibrahim. Ibrahim stared down at her hands, his eyes lost. “If she picks me, we can still end up together again. I don’t have to share a bed with her. Then, we can pick each other next chance we get…” 

“I hope it doesn’t come to that, but if she picks you, you should take the opportunity to get to know her,” Lili said, giving him a lovely smile. “I like you and I don’t want you to make promises that you’ll regret. She might be a better match. You owe it to yourself to find out.”

Ibrahim looked gutted and he felt bad for the guy for the first time. Bobby was dying for Lili’s sunshine and he’d only been on the outside edges of it. He couldn’t imagine living inside of it and then suddenly having it taken away.

The villa doors creaked open and Priya swept out dramatically. Her heels clacked on the wood deck of the firepit. She looked exhausted. Lili gave her a small wave and Priya waved back.

“This is…” Priya blinked rapidly. “I never wanted to be here in this position.” Her eyes were glassy.

Bobby cleared his throat. “What position? Standing, giving a speech?”

Priya smiled gratefully at him even as Hope shushed him.

“I want to thank everyone for being so welcoming when I entered the villa. It wasn’t easy coming in late as the new girl and having to play catch up. Everyone has been so lovely which made it even harder to make my decision. But I came here to find love, so even though someone might end up upset, I have to go with my heart. Lili, you’re such a cool person, and Marisol and Hope, you're both great too.”

Hope’s eyes squinted to slits and Noah rubbed her knee.

“For me, it just comes down to the fact that this boy seems amazing. He’s funny and sweet, and a little weird, which I like. I’m excited to get to know him.”

Bobby breathed out slowly. Beside him, Lili looked calm but her hands were knotted together. She caught his eye and he gave her a tiny, anxious smile.

“This isn’t personal in any way,” Priya continued. “So that’s why the boy I want to couple up with is…” Silence descended around the firepit. Priya looked at Bobby for a long moment and then away.

“Rahim.”

Bobby’s emotions bounced like waves in a storm. Elation. Worry. Disappointment. He could snatch up Lili and snog her till they both turned blue now. Unless somehow she was eliminated. Or someone else got there first. But...Priya didn’t choose him. Why? What exactly did Ibrahim have that he didn’t? Was the kiss not good enough? Was he doing exactly what he’d done on the outside and turned every potential partner into a friend?

None of his thoughts connected.

The fire flickered from the force of four couples sighing with relief. Rahim stood and walked slowly toward Priya, his brows knitted in confusion. She gave him a shy smile and took his hand.

All eyes shifted to Lili. “I’m happy for you." She smiled sadly. “Rahim is amazing. If it were me, I might have taken him from you, too. Though I wish you had spoken to me about your intentions.”

Priya swallowed and nodded. “I should have. I’m sorry. I really like you and I wanted us to be friends so much. I was too scared to tell you.”

Before she could respond, Lili’s phone pinged. She read the text out loud. “'You are now single and in danger of leaving the island. Graft hard.'”

With pitying looks and hands held tight to partners, couples began to wander off. Lottie and Hannah stopped to give Lili a fierce group hug. She laughed and squeezed them back. “It’s alright,” she said. “I’m alright.”

Priya gave Bobby an encouraging smile before leading Ibrahim away.

“So,” he said, when they were alone.

Lili sighed. “So.”

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

She sat down. “A little sad. Rahim really is lovely. But I’m happy because I think Priya will be good for him. She seems like someone who’ll give it to him straight and he likes that.” Her fingers twisted together again. He sat beside her and pulled her worrying hands apart. “I honestly thought she was going to pick you,” she said.

“I did too. I was bricking it.”

“How do you feel now?”

"Always a bridesmaid, never a bride, that’s me.” He shrugged. “I’m going to start getting a complex if beautiful girls keep telling me they like me and then go off and pick Ibrahim. What does that guy have that I don’t? Besides money, fame, height, a sick body, designer clothes, probably a sports car, and a huuuuuuuuuge—”

“Set of abs?” Lili interrupted, with a soft laugh.

“I knew it was the abs.” He squeezed her hand and pushed closer to her ear. “Lili, do you thi—”

“Oy, Bobs!” Gary shouted as he jogged across the lawn. He stopped and raised an eyebrow at them as he approached.

Bobby slapped the top of Lili’s hand. “There! I killed that spider for you!”

“Smooth,” she said quietly.

“They don’t call me Captain B. Smooth for nothing.”

Her nose crinkled up. “No one calls you that. I’m sure of it.”

“Can we have a quick chat?” Gary asked, his blue eyes shifting between them with curiosity.

“Can’t think of anything I’d rather do.” Bobby gave her an apologetic smile. “We’ll talk later, yeah?”

She nodded and bent to grab her water bottle. Jesus, Mary, and—her ass was a gift from God. She stood up and caught his eye “Really, Robert?”

“I’m not even sorry,” he said with a grin. If Gary hadn’t been standing there he would have given that glorious bum a swat and he wouldn't have been sorry about that either.

She rolled her eyes. “Gary can you teach him how to be a gentleman?”

“I would, but honestly I was looking too.”

She laughed and smacked Gary with her water bottle as she walked away.

“Girl’s holding up well, eh?”

Bobby watched her go. “She’s a tough one.”

“Yeah.” Gary said. He rubbed at the back of his blonde hair. “So this is awkward as hell. But uh, you and Marisol…”

Bobby slid his sunglasses off. “Are just friends.”

“So you wouldn’t be upset if I…”

He nodded at whatever Gary said. At the doorway to the villa, Priya rounded the corner, almost knocking into Lili. She froze and they stared at each other. Then Priya spoke. He couldn't hear what was said, but her arms flailed dramatically. Lili laughed and grabbed those fluttering hands. She said something emphatic and Priya gave a wobbly smile. Lili pulled her into a hug as tight and warm as the one she'd gotten from Lottie and Hannah.

How much love could one girl carry in her heart? Her sweetness cut him to pieces. Was it real? The cynic inside of him wondered. But the romantic, who was always much more vocal, argued the other down. He was drawn to her too strongly for it to be fake. She cared as much as he did. Too much. 

“Are you listening, Bobo?”

“Hmm?” He shook his head. “Yeah, lad. It’s fine. You and Marisol. But what about Hannah?”

“I don’t know. She’s a gorgeous girl, but there’s nothing there.”

Bobby played with the arms of his sunglasses. “You can’t force what isn’t there.” He’d been down that road before, foolish people pleaser that he was. “You have to tell Hannah, mate.”

Gary stretched his neck out, first left and then right. “It’s not easy, you know?”

The sun was pulsing with the force of its heat. Bobby slid on his sunglasses. “I know. But a girl like that, you break her heart, she might not give it away again. Don’t be the one to do that to her.” He stood and slapped Gary on the arm. “Come on pal. Let’s go swimming. I need Marisol to get a peek of you in wet shorts. Maybe it'll distract her from Lili.”


	13. Need the Sun to Break

Night had fallen. Soft music rolled from the speakers outside and everyone milled about the yard. Bobby stood near the beanbags, entertaining everyone with his King of the Villa impression. Lili wandered over, standing outside of the crowd and looking amazing in a short red dress. “Everything the light touches is our kingdom,” he continued. “A king’s time as ruler of the villa rises and falls like the sun.”

Everyone laughed. He wandered over to Lili. “What’d you think of my impression?”

“Spot on. Best Mufasa ever.”

“You flatter me.” He gave her a wink. “Now you try one.”

She tipped her head and thought. “Okay, got one.”

“That’s my girl,” he said. Her cheeks turned pink and his burned in return. They looked at each other for a long moment. “Ahem,” he cleared his throat and looked around, hushing an invisible crowd. “Shhh, Lili’s about to be amazing.”

She grabbed the back of her neck and shouted, “Oi! Ten-thousand yearrrrrrrrrs, will give you such a crick in the neck!”

“Genie! Nice!”

She grabbed the edges of her dress and gave a dainty curtsy. “I also do an excellent Ursula the Sea Witch.”

He rubbed his chin. “Okay I’ve got one more.” He cleared his throat and began to speak in an exaggerated Irish drawl. “Duuude, this one time, in my truck, I picked up a stray dog that was like, hitchhiking through central Europe, and we shared this intense connection. Our auras aligned and it, like, totally changed my life.”

“Rocco!” Lili threw her head back and howled with laughter as she applauded. “Oh my god. Perfection! Right down to the hitchhiking dog.”

He dipped into a theatrical bow. “I live to entertain.” He gestured to the beanbags. “Want to sit?”

She nodded and flopped down, unconcerned that her short dress rode up high on her thighs.

“You’re such a lady,” he said.

“Oh yeah. Wait till you hear me belch the alphabet.” He laughed and pulled his beanbag next to hers before collapsing beside her.

She smiled at him and his heart went crazy, as if it were dancing to “Prince Ali”.

“Tell me something I don’t know about you,” she said.

“Okay. One time I spent months saving for this amazing top-of-the-range cake decoration set. Big fancy cake stuff. You know. But then Priya coupled up with the last one!” He laughed nervously. “Get it? You thought it would be about cake but it was actually about…” He coughed. “Too soon?”

Her laugh snort was epic. “God you’re such a bellend.”

“I took some creative liberties there.” He bit his lip and traced shapes in the grass with his fingers.

“It was a wonderful fiction. And a great way to avoid answering my question.”

He flushed. “Had to call me out, did you?”

“Someone has to.” She bit her lip and reached out as though she might take his hand, but she pulled back.

Disappointment bloomed in his chest. Now that she was single maybe she was rethinking her options. He certainly wasn’t the only one interested. Rocco wasn’t subtle. Rahim was clearly still infatuated with her. Noah seemed glued to Hope but sometimes his eyes wandered to Lili a little too much. And then there was Mari—

As if he’d conjured her with his thought, Marisol, sauntered over, looking annoyed. “You two look cozy,” she said, a tinge of jealousy in her voice.

“We’re chatting,” Lili said, looking a little confused. “Would you like to join us?”

Marisol shifted her stance and her expression softened. “You are so sweet. But Hannah got the bedtime text. We’re all headed inside.”

Bobby sighed, irritated. “We were just finishing up.”

“Okay, see you inside.” Marisol kissed his cheek and walked away.

He sighed as he stood and offered Lili his hands. Her fingers curled around his wrists and he pulled her up out of the beanbag. For a moment she didn’t let go and he didn’t pull away. Aware that they weren’t the only people still out on the lawn, he stepped back and gave her an apologetic look.

“Maybe we could talk tomorrow morning? Dance party?”

She nodded. “It’s a…it’s a plan. But I’m not going in quite yet.”

He walked toward the villa and peeked over his shoulder. Lili sauntered to Noah, who stood in the garden, looking tall and broody. His smile lit up as she approached. Lili said something and Noah stepped closer to her and laughed-honest-to-god-laughed.

He didn’t even know Noah could do that.

Several people bumped by Bobby on their way into the villa, so he turned and went inside without looking back again.

Noah. Hmm.

While he brushed his teeth, Marisol gargled with mouthwash and spit it into the sink beside his. “Lili’s handling everything like a champion, isn’t she?” she asked quietly.

Bobby nodded as he kept scrubbing.

“I can’t decide if she’s not bothered or if she’s just really good at hiding her feelings.” She put the lid back on the mouthwash. “She’ll have to take someone away now, just like Priya if she doesn’t want to get dumped.” Her arms crossed over her chest. “You two seem to get on.”

He spit out the toothpaste and rinsed his mouth out.

She kept talking as though he’d answered. “Would you choose her at the next recoupling?”

“Would you?” he asked.

“Yes. I think so. She’s intriguing isn’t she?”

He put the personalized cover back on his toothbrush and sat it in the holder. “So we’re in a couple and we’re both going to graft on the same girl?”

“Welcome to Love Island,” Marisol said with a giggle. “I’m also interested in Gary though.”

He’d smiled at Marisol, and fled the bathroom, eager to escape yet another rival for Lili’s affection. He needed some alone time and he needed to do something useful with his hands that didn’t involve grabbing Lili. Or grabbing himself. So he slid on a t-shirt with his pyjama pants, intent on baking cupcakes as soon as the bedroom lights went out.

Everyone was settling in for the night. Rahim was standing in the middle of the room, looking lost. “We can take my bed,” Priya said softly, guiding him away from the one next to Bobby’s. “Let Lili keep the spot she’s comfortable in.” She shot Bobby a wink.

He smiled back at Priya gratefully. Looked like Lili would still be sleeping in the bed beside his.

Marisol sat on the end of Gary and Hannah’s bed, listening to Gary talk animatedly about cranes. Lili came in, as Rahim was moving his stuff. The big man gave her a sad wave. She paused and waved back, before heading into the dressing room. She returned a few minutes later in another set of #Cherrygate pyjamas, these ones blue instead of red and instead of #teamJake, they said #teamTalia on the shorts. He shook his head. She really should’ve been putting on sexy sleepwear and grafting her heart out. Why wasn’t she?

Grabbing some clothes from her cubby, she turned and left. Hannah whispered something to Gary who waved his hand dismissively and then she disappeared as well.

When the lights went out Hannah and Lili still hadn’t returned. Bobby got up and slipped out the door. He spotted them on the daybeds. Lili all cuddled up in the bedding like a burrito, Hannah beside her, playing with Lili’s loose braid.

“It’s odd for me. Not quite hurtful. Just odd.” Lili said. “I told him to crack on with her, so I can’t fault him for doing that.” She sighed. “He doesn’t need me there making him feel guilty for a spoon or a snog.”

“Tomorrow will be better,” Hannah said. “I’m sure of it.”

Lili smiled. “Thank you. It means a lot that you came to keep me company.”

He snuck past without being noticed and headed to the kitchen. 

With a precision he only had near an oven, he pulled out all the cupcake ingredients, organizing them carefully and pulling out all the pans and bowls he’d need. He could have used a mixer but he didn’t want to keep Lili up after such a rough day, so he mixed the batter by hand. The purposeful strokes calmed him. Everywhere else in life he was clumsy, his mind racing ahead of his legs and feet. But in kitchens he was smooth, rarely spilling a drop or making a mistake. There, his mind was calm and his body obedient.

Life was a jumble, but everything made sense in a kitchen.

He didn’t have decorations but they’d given him a bag of marshmallows. So while he baked the first batch, he could make a quick batch of marshmallow fondant. After microwaving the ingredients, he mixed in the powdered sugar. He’d found a bottle of strawberry flavoring and he added some to it. He grabbed the softened butter and coated his hands, as well as the counter, in warm slickness before pouring the mix onto it. Working patiently, he sprinkled it with powdered sugar and kneaded the dough. It clung to his skin, stringing between his fingers and he laughed, letting his mind relax as the dough slowly let go of what it thought it was supposed to be, and turned velvety and firm. 

Dipping his hands into butter, he coated the dough ball, wrapped it in plastic wrap, and tossed it in the fridge to firm up further so he could roll it out in the morning. He’d just finished scrubbing his hands when he heard the shuffle of feet approach. He looked up, hoping it was Lili, but it was Priya. Dammit. He immediately felt bad for such an unkind thought. 

“I came to check on Lili but she and Hannah are sound asleep already.” She looked at the bowls on the counter. “It smells so wonderful out here.”

He invited her over as he checked the time on the next batch of cupcakes, and then checked the cooling chocolate and strawberry ganache. She peered at it. “Oh my days, that looks better than any sex I’ve ever had,” she said.

“Because it is,” he said with a smirk. “Speaking of hot sex, how’s it going with Rahim?”

“Okay I think. He’s the sweetest. Funny too, though he doesn’t mean to be. His compliments are confusing but I’m having fun getting to know him so far. We may have had a little snog before I came out here.”

“Ooh, ya naughty girl.” His phone timer beeped softly. He shut it off and reached for the oven.

“Oh, wait!” Priya tiptoed beside him. He opened the door and the heat rolled out, wrapping around them like a lover’s embrace. She breathed in deeply. “Wow. It’s exactly how you described it. Sweet. Warm.” She caught his eye and then jerked her chin toward the daybeds. “And single.”

Bobby grinned and pulled the pan out. "Thank you for that. You're an angel.”

Priya ran a finger inside the mostly empty batter bowl beside her. She sucked the chocolate off and nodded. “Well it’s the only time I’ve ever been one.” She turned and headed back to the villa, melding into the shadows. "So don't waste it."


	14. I Want to Give You a Brand New Sky

Bobby woke early, hoping to finish the cupcakes before he met Lili on the rooftop terrace. But by the time he’d molded and placed the little marshmallow fondant flowers, the automated blinds had opened in the bedroom, and the other islanders stumbled about, bleary-eyed and cranky.

He’d missed his window. Dammit. Grumbling, he packed all the cupcakes into a container, save for one, and put them in the fridge. The buttercream would turn to liquid if he left it out in the Spanish heat. 

Lottie exited the villa, stretching like a snow leopard. “Why does it smell like a bakery out here?”

“I made a treat for dinner tonight,” he said.

She rushed over, her face alight. “Show me!”

“No! You’ll see it tonight,” he said. She pouted, her childish expression at odds with her vampy oxblood lipstick.

“Don’t give me that look, or you won’t get anything.”

She pulled her lip back in. “Oh, they’re cupcakes?” She poked a long dark fingernail at the cupcake sitting on a saucer. “Can I have that one?”

“Woman, no.”

“It’s not for Marisol, I hope. I don’t think she likes sweets.” Her green eyes lit up. “Oh, are you grafting? Is it for Hannah?”

Marisol wandered out of the villa, followed by Hannah, and Lottie held up a finger. “Shhh. We’ll talk later!”

He covered up the cupcake with a napkin and got out of the way as Marisol marched to the fridge at the same time Hannah did and they both grabbed ripe dark avocados.

He made his way to the terrace, but Lili wasn’t there. Sighing, he came back inside and found her sitting at the dressing room vanity, her cheeks sucked in, making a fish face at herself in the mirror.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

She jumped. Her hands fluttered toward her chest as she laughed. “I was contemplating my life choices.”

“By making goldfish faces at yourself?”

“Yes. I contemplate better when I look like a guppy. Don’t you?”

“You are a strange girl.”

“No I’m not.” She made another fish face, pointing it at him as she batted her big brown eyes.

“Oh yeah. Perfectly normal.”

“Thank you,” she said.

“I have something for you.”

She stood up, her red spangled bikini dancing with the movement. “Is it a cupcake?” she whispered.

He nodded and headed for the rooftop terrace, Lili trailing after him.

“The rest are for dinner tonight. It took me a bit longer to finish them than I expected. That’s why I missed our dance party. So you get to have one now.” He held out the little saucer.

She slowly dragged the napkin off and marveled at it. “Oh, it’s gorgeous!” He stood taller as her smile grew wider. The cupcake was perfect as far as he was concerned. The fudge-like, nearly black cake had a piped tower of chocolate buttercream icing, decorated with a bouquet of small, pink fondant flowers.

“It’s a tiny work of art.” She held it closer to her face and breathed in. Her moan of delight made him tingly all over. She sat on the bench, just looking at it.

He pulled a fork from the pocket of his shorts before sitting beside her. “Here.” He couldn’t wait to watch her face when she tasted it.

“I can’t do it, it’s too beautiful to destroy.”

“You have to! Time will destroy it if you don’t. Or Lottie will. I practically had to throw myself over it to save it for you.”

“Well, if it’ll make you happy…” she dug the fork into it, giving a fake sob as she broke through it. “Why do we destroy what we love so much?”

“Just eat it, you drama queen.”

She grinned and slid the fork into her mouth. Her plush lips wrapped around it and she pulled the tines away clean. She rolled her head back and closed her eyes, a moan escaping her throat. Dear god. The expression of pure bliss on her face was so sexual, he started to get hard.

“Oh Bobby, this is so good,” she said as she took another bite.

Fek. Go back to sleep, he shouted internally to his now semi-awake cock. No one wants you here right now.

She licked the back of the fork and he choked back a moan of his own. In desperation, he snatched the nearest throw pillow from the bench and sat it on his lap.

Running her tongue over her lower lip-oh for fuck’s sake-she investigated the center of the cupcake. “Are there strawberries inside?”

“Yeah,” he said, his voice crackling as if he’d just hit puberty. He cleared his throat. “It’s a mixture of chocolate ganache and chopped strawberries. I like to put little surprises inside my baked goods.”

“I love it. I’ve never eaten anything more delicious in my life.” She exhaled slowly. “I just realized that everything I’ve ever wanted in a relationship I’ve just had with this cupcake. I never need to date again.”

His laugh-snort crept up before he could stop it. He reached for the plate and tried pulling it away from her. “My skills are too good. It was supposed to seduce you into my arms, not out of the arms of all men.”

She yanked it back. “Nooooo, don’t take away my true love!” He let her pull it back watched with increasing arousal as she finished it. She licked every ounce of icing from the fork. “That was truly the best cupcake I’ve ever had in my life. Thank you so much for making it. God, you’re amazing.”

His face blazed with heat, his body blazed with lust, his pride blazed like a roaring campfire. Why did she make him feel so… _ good _ ? 

The way she talked to him, joked with him, flattered him. The way he kept catching her staring at him intently, as if he were something rare and fascinating.

She made him feel special.

Until that moment he’d never really thought about the way a girl made him feel. He’d dated some who were fun, lively, smart, and pretty. He liked the banter they had. He liked the sex. He thought he’d felt something deep for his last girlfriend, but none of them made him feel like this. Like he wanted to live up to the way she looked at him.

He stared down at his hands, unsure what to say. A feeling pushed at his skin from the inside, searching for a weak point so it could burst out and tell her how amazing she was and how, if she could lower herself to be with him, he’d spend every day trying to make her feel as special as she made him feel.

But that was melty and would probably sound stupid. So he didn’t. “Thank you. I’m glad you liked it,” he said instead.

“Can I—” Lili’s stared down at her hands, her eyelashes casting shadows on her cheeks. She frowned and shook her head.

“Can you what?”

She went silent for so long, he thought maybe she wasn’t going to answer at all. “Can I have a hug?” She looked at him with worried eyes as she asked, and he choked back the laugh that bubbled in his throat. If she’d have asked to kick him the bawbag and he probably would have said yes.

“Lass, anytime you want to touch me, you go right ahead.”

Her face was deadly in its seriousness. “Don’t make it dirty.”

“I’m not. Come here.” He stood up, grateful that his stauner was gone. She sat the plate down and stood. He suddenly felt shy of her, as if the hug were some sort of defining moment. She seemed just as shy, a storm of anxiety swirling in her dark eyes. She wrapped her arms around his middle and he pulled her close. She turned her head and rested it against the crook of her neck sighing softly, her body relaxing into his. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and cradled the back of her head with his hand. She smelled like chocolate and shea butter and like a dream he once had where sunlight smelled like lemon drops. He wanted to keep holding her forever and never let anyone else touch her.

He’d never been more frightened of something that felt so good. 


	15. Captivated by You Baby Like a Fireworks Show

The air was charged all day, like that moment after a flash of lightning when you hold your breath in the silence, knowing thunder is on its way.

Bobby had only seen Lili a handful of times that morning and afternoon. He’d swam, worked out, played volleyball, cooked lunch, and done a dozen other things to get his mind off of her. The few times she’d appeared she was her normal self, cracking jokes, and soothing the egos of everyone around her. But when she thought no one was looking, her pageant smile slipped.

Of course it did. She was going to go home if no one picked her. Yet she carried on same as always; no ire for Priya and no longing for Ibrahim. No grafting either.

Maybe she was waiting for the thunder too. 

He headed for the kitchen to fill up his water bottle. He rounded the corner and found Lili standing with her back to him, at the counter. As he came closer, he saw she was furtively eating one of his cupcakes out of the container.

“What happened to being a master of delayed gratification?” he asked.

She jumped and turned, her eyes wide with guilt. “I’m sorry!”

He grinned. “Joking. You don’t have to sneak lass, you can have it.”

She slumped against the counter. “Good. Because I wasn’t going to stop, even if you were upset with me. I need this.”

He leaned against the counter beside her and she broke off part of the cupcake and handed it to him. He ate it, debating whether the icing was too sweet or not and deciding that it was. Just a touch. The cake was perfect though.

“You alright?” he asked.

She sucked a smear of frosting off of her thumb. “I’m always alright.”

“I don’t know if that’s true.”

She smiled and a little dimple appeared and it nearly murdered him wanting to kiss it.

“It’s true enough. Even when I’m not alright, I eventually become alright.”

He shook his head. “You should be out there grafting.”

“I can’t. It’s too awful. Flirting with other girls’ partners is bad enough, but grafting is just…even if I liked someone, it would seem like I was just using them and I wouldn’t want anyone to feel that way.”

Even _ if _ she liked someone? Did she…not like him?

She took another bite. “These are the best things I’ve ever put in my mouth.”

He smirked. “Oh I’m sure you—wait, did you say ‘these?’ How many have you eaten?” He turned and looked at the container. She’d spaced the cupcakes far apart to hide her crime but the evidence was visible.

She swallowed the last bite and held up three fingers. “I had the one you gave me for breakfast and then they just kept calling to me!”

“Woman this is a crime.”

“I’m guilty by reason of insanity.”

“This place will do that to you.” He put the lid back on the container and stuffed it in the refrigerator, far away from her. The camera man who’d roamed around them silently, turned and wandered off toward the pool where everyone was sitting around.

Bobby blew out a breath. “Care to have a chat with me?”

“Aren’t we doing that now?”

“A private one.”

She nodded and followed him as he led her up to the rooftop terrace, which was blissfully empty. No men with cameras. Though he knew there were stationary ones everywhere.

He shut the door behind him. Lili twisted her hands into knots. “What’s up?” she asked.

He wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. Just knew that he needed to say something. “Why are you always looking at me?” he blurted out.

Seriously? That’s what he went with? Eegit.

“I’m not.” She tilted her head. “Well, maybe I’m only looking at you because you’re looking at me.”

“Maybe.” He turned to face the garden, slid his sunglasses off, and squinted in the light. “But I don’t think so. Because I’m not looking at you and I can feel you staring at me right now.”

“I…” she hesitated. “I’m just counting your freckles.”

He turned to look at her, checking for a smirk or a mocking raised eyebrow, but she blinked at him with a serious expression. He laughed. “My freckles? What? Why?”

She shrugged. “They’re beautiful and I like looking at them.”

There had been a few women here or there who’d liked his freckles, but no one had ever said it like that. He flushed hot and looked at the floor for a moment.

“How many do I have?” he asked.

“I don’t know. You move around a lot so I keep losing track. Furthest I’ve gotten is fifteen.”

He stepped closer, searching her eyes. “I’ll stand still,” he said, his throat dry and aching. “If you want to count them.”

She scraped her teeth against her lower lip, contemplating it before she nodded. Moving closer, she gently tilted his chin down to look at him.

“One. Two.” She traced a finger over his nose and kept counting. She got to seventeen before she quit speaking and simply skimmed her fingers along his cheekbones.

His heart clanged like church bells. He needed to kiss her. Once he did, this lust, this obsession would calm like the end of a storm, and then he could relax and go back to be being his old self again. Carefree Bobby.

He stroked her wrists. Slowly with the lightest touch, he slid his hands up her arms. “Tell me to stop and I’ll stop.”

She swallowed but didn’t say a word.

He kept going, until he had her jaw cupped in his hands. He tilted his head and leaned toward her. “Tell me to stop,” he said again, softly.

She arched toward him and brushed her mouth against his. Feather soft. Barely a touch. He closed that distance and kissed her.

The relief of it was like water after being parched.

He forced himself to drink her slowly. Drawing out every ounce of sweetness. He stroked the soft skin of her jaw as he traced her mouth with his. Her lips parted and he took the invitation, finally. His tongue circled hers, tasting chocolate and strawberries. She gave a breathy moan and he slid his fingers into her hair, getting them tangled in her curls. Suddenly the thirst was back. This wasn’t enough. He wanted her closer. Wanted her tongue. Wanted her more.

He pulled away, afraid to push too hard, too soon.

Her eyes fluttered open and she held his gaze. Then, she stood taller and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. It wasn’t the sweet soft kiss he expected. Her hands slid into his locs and she kissed him like she was just as parched, as if he were the only thing keeping her alive. She sucked on his tongue, little sounds of pleasure escaping her. When she moaned his name, soft and demanding at the same time, her hips arching to his, he knew he had to slow it down before they ended up nude in broad daylight on national television. He broke the kiss and buried his face in her hair, catching his breath.

When he lifted his head, she stared at him, her eyes searching his. He’d never seen her look so vulnerable. So unsure. “Was it not—” she shook her head. “Good?”

“Lili, that was better than good.” He tugged her against him and wrapped his arms around her. He breathed out and pressed a kiss to her temple. They stayed like that for a while, swaying gently, as if dancing to a slow song only they could hear.

After a while, she stepped back, her eyes soft and dreamy. “We should go back and join the others.”

“Or we could stay here and snog some more.” He tugged on the end of her curls. “Which by the way, you lost our bet.”

“What?” Her gaze sharpened. “I didn’t lose? You kissed me.”

“I certainly did not. You put your lips on mine first.”

She considered that and then shook her head. “No I didn’t! I was just…hovering in the area.”

“You hovered and landed.”

“I hovered. And the ground came up to meet me.”

“What? I don’t even know what that means.”

“It means you lost,” she said.

“Let’s declare it a draw,” he murmured, heading for her lips again, but she pulled just out of reach.

“A draw just means the game’s not over.”

“You’re not going to kiss me again, are you?”

A smile tugged at her lips. “Nope.”

Dammit.

He stared into her wide brown eyes and lost himself there. Kissing her hadn’t eased the intensity of his feelings at all. If anything they were stronger. Now his whole body pulsed like the beat of a heart when she was near.

And the more he wanted her the more scared he was of this _ thing _. It was all moving so fast and it was far too emotional. He preferred his flirtations simple and airy, like a good sponge cake. There was no room for jealousies and emotional devastations in those kinds of relationships. But with Lili, it already felt more like a Gateau St. Honoré. It had layers and steps and seemed more likely to go wrong than right.

He wanted her too damned much.

She pressed her palm to his. “You have nice hands.”

“You certainly know how to make a man blush.” He slid his fingers between hers. “Piano fingers. I used to play. Well, I played like one song over and over.” He straightened, stretching his diaphragm and sang softly.

_ Ruby lips above the water, _

_ Blowing bubbles, soft and fine _

_ But, alas, I was no swimmer _

_ So I lost my Clementine _

_ Oh my darling, oh my darling _

_ Oh my darling, Clementine _

_ You are lost and gone forever _

_ Dreadful sorry, Clementine _

He cleared his throat. “Great song.”

“And so upbeat.” She crinkled up her nose and smiled at him. “Come on, let’s go downstairs.” She let go of his hand and he followed behind her. As they reached the bedroom, her phone pinged. She stared down at the notification for a long moment, before opening the door and shouting toward the lawn. “Text! I got a text!”

The islanders came running. As soon as everyone was there, she studied her phone before reading. “’Islanders, tonight there will be a recoupling. The boys will choose. Whoever is still single by the end of the evening will be dumped from the Villa immediately. #timesup #getgrafting.’”

Everyone gasped. Lili blinked rapidly. “So. That’s a thing.”

Bobby stared at her. She stared back.

Well. There was that damned thunder.


	16. Hand in the Flame of a Flickering Lighter

Bobby stared at his reflection in the mirror, observing the clusters of freckles on his face as if they were constellations in an evening sky, connecting to form myths and wild beasts.

Is that what Lili saw when she looked at him?

All around him, the rest of the guys raced for the steamer and for bottles of cologne and aftershave, but Bobby couldn’t do it. He was frozen, staring at the brightly lit vanity.

“Have you decided, mate?” Gary knocked into Bobby as he sat beside Rahim, who was patting oil onto his scalp between his rows.

Rahim shook his head. “I don’t know. Priya is…and Lili is…” He closed the oil lid and sighed. “I like them both.”

Rocco rubbed some kind of crystal on his underarms and then took a whiff, nodding. “I get it. Lili’s raw sensuality calls to me too, man. Who can resist an aura that vibrant?”

“What the hell are you on about?” Gary asked.

Rocco sighed. “The universe has mysteries beyond cranes, my friend. An aura is the light energy that surrounds each of us. If you’re lucky enough to be able to see them, you can learn a lot about people without ever saying a word. Different colors for different vibes, you know? Lili’s aura is usually violet. Sometimes pink.”

Gary’s sigh could be heard for miles. “What’s that even mean?” 

Noah shook his head as he spot checked his jaw for any stray hairs. “You had to ask, didn’t you?”

“Violets are empaths. She’s the type of girl who doesn’t have everyday sex. She’s in tune with her energy and yours. Sex is more than just bodies moving for them. It’s soul connection. It’s intense. You have to convince them that you’re worth the energy they’d spend, but if you can do that, wow.” He brought his fingers together and then pushed them apart, making a noise like an explosion. “The intensity will leave your ears ringing and your knees weak.”

Gary’s face screwed up in confusion. “So you think she’ll be good in bed because she’s secretly purple?”

“Spoken exactly like someone with a tan aura,” Rocco said sadly.

Noah shook his head. “I warned you.”

“What about you?” Rocco asked Gary. “Who do you think you’ll choose?”

“Not sure,” Gary said. “I like Marisol. I don’t understand anything she says, but she’s fit as fuck. But Lili’s fun and sexy, you know? And Lottie is hot…” He scrubbed at the back of his head. “Sorry man.”

Rocco smiled. “It’s alright. Lottie is free to seek out a higher plane anytime.”

Bobby could feel the eyes shift toward him.

“What about you Bobs? You and Lili seem like you might have something going on.”

Rahim scowled and looked at Bobby. “Yeah, I’ve heard that.”

Bobby finally turned from the mirror. He grabbed his shirt and tossed it on carelessly, while pushing down his petty desire to tell them that he’d snogged Lili’s face off earlier. It would be so easy to stake his claim, as if she were an item he could carry around in his pocket. But that was disgusting and it reeked of the kind of territorial behavior he loathed. He couldn’t be that person. 

And so he was likely going to lose her before he ever had her. Someone else would choose her and he’d have to watch yet another guy touch Lili the way he wanted to. If he was lucky, maybe she wouldn’t grow to like the lad and he could choose her later. 

His stomach twisted at the thought of her being with someone else, but at least she’d still be there. He could still see her and hear her laugh and watch her smile. He could be her friend and maybe that would be enough. It would have to be. 

For now, he would choose Hannah and deal with another friendship couple. She’d stayed with Lili when she needed someone. He could at least keep her friend there for her if he couldn’t be with her. 

“Bobs?”

He jerked out of the fog of his thoughts and put on an enigmatic smile. “This is a very complicated case Gary. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous.”

Gary frowned and narrowed his eyes, likely not sure if he was being made fun of. “Why is no one making any sense right now?” he finally said, his huge arms flapping up and down. 

“It’s time,” Noah said. 

“So are you choosing the purple girl or what?” Gary asked, as they lined up to walk outside. 

It wouldn’t do to dwell on what couldn’t be, so Bobby shrugged. 

“What does _ that _ mean?”

“It means the Dude abides, mate.” Bobby clapped him on the shoulder, and took a deep breath. “The Dude. Abides.”

***

Standing at the firepit, the guys had gone silent. For the first time they seemed to realize that the power they held had consequences. One of the girls was going home.

On the other side of the flickering flames, Lili stood there, looking like a goddess in a white one-sleeved, two-piece dress. The silvery spangles danced in the same breeze that flickered the fire.

Stress wasn’t something he usually allowed himself to feel, but tension gripped the back of Bobby’s neck, squeezing painfully.

A phone beeped and Noah stepped forward. He was the only one who looked chill. Of course he picked Hope with a cringe speech about what a woman she was. It was enough to induce a gag reflex.

Next, Rahim’s phone beeped. Bobby stiffened and his gaze shot to Lili. She was staring into the fire, her expression unreadable. Rahim cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “I’d like to couple up with this girl because of all the people here, I feel like I have the best connection with her.” Murmurs began and Priya nervously tugged at her dress, avoiding eye contact with anyone. “I fancied her since the moment I met her, and I know we’re not the most obvious couple, but it’s kind of like magnets, right? The negative end is only attracted to the positive end…or something. Plus she’s gorgeous. Really gorgeous.” He sighed. “I can’t wait to see where things go with her.”

The murmurs grew louder. Bobby clenched his jaw hard enough to crack his teeth.

“So the girl I’d like to couple up with is…” Rahim grinned. “Priya.”

Priya gave a little squeal of joy and rushed across the space. She smooched Rahim loudly on the cheek and then took his hand.

Relief nearly dropped Bobby to his knees. 

Lili’s bright pageant smile was firmly in place as she applauded. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you, Lili.” Priya said.

Rocco stepped forward next and nattered on for a long while about bonfires, souls, and moths. Bobby rolled his eyes and when he looked over at Lili, her lips were smooshed together, holding in laughter. He widened his eyes at her, hoping to make her laugh out loud, but she pulled her lips tighter and shook her head at him. 

“The girl I’d like to couple up with,” Rocco said. “Is Lottie.”

Lottie grinned and stepped forward. Hannah leaned over and whispered something to Lili, who grabbed Hannah’s hand and whispered something back. She seemed to be reassuring her.

Everyone stared at each other as the silence dragged on. Sweat dribbled down Bobby’s temples. A phone beeped. Gary caught his eye and shook his head. Bobby stared at the flashing notification on his phone, unable to believe that his luck could possibly be this good. 

His gaze shot to Lili. Sweetheart. Dream girl. Obsession. But she didn’t look as happy as he felt inside. She looked at the fire, her hands twisting the way they did when she was unsure. His excitement gave way to a nagging anxiety. 

After that kiss today, he wasn’t satiated. He wanted her. No, craved her. But what did _ she _ want? She’d kissed him fiercely but never said what it meant. She told him his freckles were beautiful, but she hadn’t asked him to choose her. She hadn’t asked anyone to choose her. She kept holding back a piece of herself and he didn’t know why. 

Maybe she was waiting for someone more worthy of asking.

Still, he could only choose her. Marisol and Hannah were there, but he couldn’t see them. They were nothing but grey blurs next to Lili’s screaming color. 

Gary nudged him. He’d been quiet for too long.

Bobby took a breath and did what he always did. Just ran his mouth until something either went right or horribly horribly wrong. “This girl is my favorite combination of cool and bold. Like gazpacho.”

Lili continued looking at her hands.

Gary looked confused. “Like the Spanish song?”

“That’s Despacito. Anyway, pipe down. I’m recoupling here.” He shook his head. “I’ve always had a hard time seeing girls as more than friends, but I reckon this babe could change that. She’s funny and sexy and she appreciates a good pastry chef when she meets one. I uh, I really like her and I want to see where things go with me and this girl.” She gave no reaction and he desperately needed something from her. He inhaled slowly. “Plus, she told me that she likes my freckles, so I have to pick her. It’s a law.”

Everyone chuckled and finally, she looked up at him. Her dark eyes were...surprised? She couldn’t have been surprised, could she?

“The girl I’d like to couple up with is…” He exhaled. “Lili.”

She blinked at him for a long moment and then covered her mouth with both hands. He couldn’t tell what that meant.

“Are you—are you happy?” he asked.

She dropped her hands and her face broke into a smile that could have eclipsed the sun and the moon at the same time. “Yes, I’m happy.” She crossed over to him and threw her arms around his neck. He pulled her close. Her evening perfume was different than what she’d worn in the morning. A sensual blend of citrus and ginger and vanilla. “You smell like a sexy cookie,” he murmured in her ear. She laughed softly. He didn’t want to let her go, but as the applause died down, he took her hand and they sat.

Lili’s happy expression dimmed as she looked at Hannah standing there. She bit her lip and looked at Gary. She leaned over and whispered softly to Bobby, “He’s not picking her is he?”

“No.” He looked over at her. “Didn’t he tell her?”

She shook her head, no.

Dammit Gary. He put his arm around Lili’s slumped shoulders.

Gary’s phone beeped. “Guess I’m last.” He sighed and looked at the girls. Marisol flicked her hair and smiled confidently. Hannah stared at the ground, her eyes squeezed shut. Poor Hannah.

“I didn’t reckon going at the end would be this hard, to be honest.” Gary went on for a bit about the difficulties of it and then compared his choice to his nan, which raised all of the eyebrows.

Of course, he chose Marisol.

Hannah’s whole body deflated. Everyone clapped for Marisol and Gary, except Lili and Lottie. Lottie spat fire from her eyes. Lili didn’t glare but she didn’t clap either.

The beep of Hannah’s phone seemed extremely loud. “’Hannah, your time on Love Island has come to an end. Please pack your bags and get ready to leave the villa immediately.’” Her voice trembled as she read it.

Lottie grabbed her and pulled her into an intense hug. Lili stepped forward and then back, as if she wasn’t sure what to do. Everyone took turns saying goodbye. When Hannah turned to Lili, she shored herself up. “I’m sorry babe. I’ll miss your beautiful way with words. It’s gonna be so different without you.”

“I’ll miss you so much,” Hannah said smiling.

“It’s going to be hard to find a book passage for this one.” Lili hugged her tightly. “You deserved better, babes.”

They all went outside and waited for Hannah. She came out with red rimmed eyes, hauling a pink suitcase. “Well I guess I’m leaving now,” she said with a sad smile. She closed her eyes and furrowed her brow, before raising a hand in a dramatic gesture as she quoted…something about…boats? He wasn’t a literature guy and he had no idea what she was on about.

After she climbed into the jeep and disappeared into the night, Lottie practically sobbed on Bobby’s shoulder and his heart throbbed with guilt. He’d helped cause that pain. On the other side of him, there was an odd stillness to Lili. As if everyone else’s emotions amounted to a typhoon and she stood alone in the center of it. 

They were all subdued as they made a slow trek inside. “How about some cupcakes?” he said, hoping to lift everyone’s spirits. That did the trick. The islanders perked up, so he went to the fridge and Lili silently helped him pull them out and arrange the cupcakes on a platter. He brought them to the table and everyone oohed and ahhed, giving him that rush of accomplishment he only got from baking.

The buzz of conversation slowly returned as they stuffed their faces with chocolate. He turned around to grab more cupcakes and realized that Lili was gone. He sat the container on the counter and searched the yard but it was empty. 

He found her inside the villa, sitting alone in the lounge on a big white couch, her back to the door. He approached slowly and heard her sniffle. Oh no.

“Hey,” he said softly, not wanting to scare her.

Her shoulders stiffened but she didn’t turn around. “Hey.” Her voice was hollow.

“Mind if I sit down?”

She shrugged. When he sat beside her, she turned her face away. A pile of shredded tissues rested in her lap.

“Lili, talk to me.”

“I’m fine,” she said. “Really I’m fine.”

She still didn’t face him. He hopped up and moved to the other side of her. When she turned her face again, he leapt back over to the other side. He did this two more times before her sniffles melded with her laughter and she forgot to turn away. He lifted her chin and looked at her. She was a mess. Her eyeliner was smeared, and grey tributaries of tears drizzled down her cheeks.

“Oof, you’re sexy,” he said.

“Shut up.” She laughed and rubbed at her leaking eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked softly.

“No, it’s embarrassing.”

“I won’t laugh.”

She stared at the tissue in her hand. “I shouldn’t have come here. I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

“What?”

“Goodbyes.” She shook her head. “I never got good at them.”

“No one’s really good at goodbyes are they?”

“I should be. After my parents died, my sister and my brothers…” She shook her head. “They left. Then I was in foster care and they moved me around a lot. I said goodbye so many times. All the other foster kids, they grew tough skins. They learned how to move on. To not get—” She gave a frustrated growl. “I never got any good at it. I’m so damned emotional and I always get too attached. I hate this.” Suddenly she turned to face Bobby, her words pouring down like a light rain that turned into a summer storm. “Lauren kept saying this would be good for me but is this good?” She waved her soggy tissue around. “I feel guilty because I’ve no right to feel this sad. I’m still here. But what if I shouldn’t be? Maybe Hannah should be here instead.”

His chill girl was coming apart. He stroked her hair. “I feel guilty too. I could have kept her here. But I…I couldn’t choose anyone but you.”

“See that’s what I’m saying. If I hadn’t made an idiot out of myself attacking your face, maybe you wouldn’t have felt obligated to pick me. If I hadn’t let myself get so—” She took a gulp of air and fresh tears lost the battle with her eyelashes and joined the river flowing down her face. “My heart just isn’t made for this.”

“What are you talking about?” He stared at her now, searching her face for a joke that wasn’t there. “Obligated? Why would I be obligated to pick you?”

“Oh my god, because I basically attacked you like a lamprey and you had to pull me off of you.” Her cheeks bloomed with a rush of rich pink. “I fancy you so much, and it’s exactly what I didn’t want to do to you. Because now, how you know that the kiss was sincere and not just me being desperate to stay? And how do I know that you didn’t pick me because I’m so pathetic and needy an—”

He kissed her. 

Her lips were salty with tears, her face damp and smeared with makeup. And he didn’t give a fuck. She fancied him. He hadn’t let himself really believe that someone so beautiful and funny and perfect would like him, but now he could see it. He could feel every moment of the day when she’d been holding back, afraid of letting him know that she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. 

“We’re both dafty,” he said against her lips. “I’d convinced myself you couldn't really like me.”

She twined her arms around his neck and kissed him back. It was a passionate and dizzying. “I like you,” she whispered, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

After a few minutes of cuddling, she pulled back, taking her warmth with her. She laughed and rubbed at his cheek. “You’ve got almost as much eyeliner and mascara on your face as I do.” 

Bobby felt enveloped in a warm light as she grabbed his hand and led him to the dressing room, sitting him in front of the vanity. He watched dreamily as she dug a pack of makeup wipes out and cleaned the streaks off of his face and then her own. They kissed softly and he tugged at her, wanting to pull her onto his lap, but she resisted. 

“I’ve got to take a shower,” she said, laughing. With that, she shooed him out of the dressing room. 

He changed into his pajamas in the downstairs bathroom, feeling as though he’d already won Love Island. How was it possible that he’d somehow managed to trick that gorgeous girl into fancying him? Into breaking down her defenses and letting him have a glimpse of what she kept hidden? Whatever he did, he needed to keep doing it. It was probably the cupcakes. Clearly that recipe was magic. 

He was humming some Taylor Swift song they’d danced to the day before, when he heard the argument taking place in the bedroom. 

“Now hold on,” Gary said. “Why do you get the corner bed?”

A battle of words raged on for some time over who should get the now vacant bed, deflating Bobby’s good mood, until Lili emerged from the stairwell and the sound of the arguing faded away. Eyes and lips swollen from crying, she was still lovely. Her curls were pulled into a pineapple on top of her head and she had on another pair of #CherryGate pyjamas. Yellow this time. How many did she have? He peered at the shorts. #TeamRohan.

“What’s going on?” she asked. 

Gary shook his head. “Hope reckons she and Noah deserve the corner bed.”

“Noah and I are the strongest couple. So we need the most privacy,” Hope said.

Lili raised an eyebrow at that. She glanced at him and there was a glint in her eye that suggested mischief ahead. 

“You want it?” Her sexy little smile sent tingles up his spine.

That bed offered the most privacy as it was the furthest from the rest, but he didn’t want her to assume that he was expecting something to happen between them. “Do you?” he asked, hedging. 

She smirked. Before anyone could react, she took off at a run and threw herself on the bed. Everyone shut their gobs and stared. “Argument settled,” she chirped. “It’s ours.”

“Well, that’s one way to do it.” Gary barked a laugh.

“Go Lili!” Priya giggled and threw her an air high-five. 

Hope gave an infuriated glare but Noah grabbed her hand and pulled her down onto their bed. 

Lili patted the space beside her and Bobby slid in, grinning. The sheets were cool, but her body was warm beside his. “Nicely done,” he said.

As the lights dimmed, he put his head on the pillow and looked at her. “Maybe this is strange to ask now, but are you okay sharing a bed so soon? This is all kinds of intense and I want you to be comfortable. Obviously we’re attracted to each other but that doesn’t mean I’m pushing—”

She put a finger on his lips. “Can I have a cuddle?”

He smiled. “Sure, nothing beats a good cuddle and I happen to be excellent at them. Do you want big spoon or little spoon?”

“Hmm, roll over. I want to be big spoon.” Excitement lit him up. Girls never wanted that. “Seriously? I’ve always wanted to be little spoon!” He rolled over and felt her warm body curl around him. Her foot slipped between his and her breath was warm on the back of his neck. He felt a rush of contentment return.

“Goodnight,” Lili whispered. She wrapped an arm around him and pressed her hand to his chest. He laid his hand on top of hers and looked at it. Maybe Rocco wasn’t as crazy as he seemed. For a moment Bobby could see a pulse of violet light radiating from Lili. Through their hands he felt his heart connect to hers, little lines tracing the spaces between them, making new constellations that burned bright as the lights went out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Bobby's film reference (lotta ins lotta outs...the dude abides) in the first part is confusing to you, go watch The Big Lebowski right now. RIGHT. NOW. 
> 
> Thank you to Moni, Jolene, and Prim for reading and brainstorming and generally being amazing people who make this fandom extra special for me. And also to the Wee Dippy Soldiers for being talented, hilarious, and always up to discuss how bad Rocco smells.


	17. Here Comes the Sun in the Form of a Girl

Bobby dreamed of violet light and long hot kisses. 

He awoke on his back, bedding tented over his stauner and Lili draped on him like a sexy sleeping octopus. He could hardly believe that she was his partner. He smiled and ran his finger down the line of her nose. She twitched like a bunny at his touch. It was so cute he had to do it again. She made a noise of discontent and buried her face in his chest. He wrapped an arm around her and chuckled. 

“Wake up sleepyhead,” he murmured into her hair.

“I don’t wanna get up,” she said. “You’re so warm.” She slid her hand up to his neck and sighed contentedly. 

“If we go out on the terrace we’ll work up a sweat and that’ll warm ya,” he said. Then as the words he’d said registered, his face burned. “From dancing I meant. Not from...not that I would assu--” he groaned and slapped a hand over his face. 

“Captain B. Smooth, indeed.” She pushed the blankets off and sat up with a laugh. He stretched his back and his hard on bobbed happily beneath the thin sheet. Lili looked at it, and then away, her face blazing with heat to match his own. 

Well nothing to do in an awkward situation except make it more awkward. He gasped and pointed at it. “It’s aliiiiiiive!” he whisper yelled, as he threw his hands toward the sky. “Aliiiiiive!”

She gave a yelp of laughter and slapped her hand over her mouth as someone groaned in a nearby bed. Her shoulders shook with the force of her cackles. “Oh my god!” she whispered. “Why are you like this?”

“You love it.” He gave her a cheeky grin.

She shook her head. “I’m going to brush my teeth. Put your Frankenstein’s Monster away.”

“I’ll have you know, his name is Genie.”

“Oh god.”

“You know because if you rub it it’ll grant you three…” he trailed off. 

She raised an eyebrow. “Then shouldn't it be_ the Lamp _?”

He stared at her. “I--” he shook his head, argument evaporating. “Honestly, not a single girl has ever pointed that out.”

“You should date smarter girls.” She flashed him a mischievous smile and his heart sputtered like Jonno’s ancient Ford Fiesta. “I’ll meet you in the dressing room in fifteen minutes.”

He jumped out of bed and raced to brush his teeth and shave. He ran downstairs and showered in record time and changed into his favorite purple shorts. He was panting when he made it to the dressing room. 

Whatever breath he had left evaporated when he saw her. Jesus. Lili was stretching in a blue and white bikini that barely covered her curves. She bent and arched her back and his blood traveled south, leaving his brain without oxygen _ and _blood flow. 

He searched her skin, looking for more tattoos but saw nothing except a fevered fantasy of how her body was going to jiggle and sway when they danced. His now nameless cock twitched in anticipation.

As she straightened, he came up behind her and gripped her hips, pulling her close. She leaned her back against his chest. Wrapping both arms around her middle, he kissed the tattoo behind her left ear. She sighed with pleasure. 

“Are you going to tell me what ‘lucha’ means?” he asked softly. 

“Nope.” She turned and grabbed his hand. “Once you’ve seen all of them...maybe.” She pulled him to the terrace door and opened it. She stepped outside and came to an abrupt stop. He bumped into her and peered over her shoulder. Beneath a large white blanket on the terrace floor was a lot of...motion. And giggling. And grunting. 

“Oh,” he said, before he could stop himself. 

The movement ceased. Priya and Rahim peered out from the blanket looking...sweaty. 

“Um, occupied?” Priya said. 

“Sorry!” Lili backed up, forcing Bobby backward, and shut the door. She stood there for a moment saying nothing. 

Was she upset? She’d only been paired with Rahim for two days but in the villa, where there were no clocks and you spent day in and day out together, a few days felt like weeks. 

But when she turned, her eyes were wide and laughter spilled from her like warm rain. “No dance party for us.”

“Disappointing.” He stroked her cheek. “But let’s be positive! We can go back to bed and snog under the covers.”

She bit her lip and then nodded. They headed downstairs to the bedroom. But instead of a room full of snorers and droolers, everyone was awake. And arguing. Fucking fuck fuck hell fuck.

“No snogs for us either,” Lili said. 

He groaned and faked a sob, as they entered the fracas. 

“No Marisol, it’s Lottie who should calm down!” Gary said. “I’ve barely woken up and she’s already on my case about Hannah.”

“She tried so hard for you and she’s only gone because you never gave her a chance!” Lottie hissed. 

“I didn’t fancy her and I’m not gonna apologize for that!” Gary raised his voice and everyone shrank back from him. He rubbed the back of his neck and his face stretched into a false smile. “Eh, it’s all bants anyway. I’m gonna go lift something heavy for a while.” He stalked out and slammed the door shut behind him. 

Marisol threw her hands up, looking upset and Lottie blinked rapidly as though she were fighting back tears. Lili strode over and grabbed each of them by the hand. “C’mon. Let’s talk about something fun. Have you ever been to a petting zoo?” She threw Bobby an apologetic smile as she tugged the girls over to their bed for a chat. Out of curiosity, he started organizing his messy cubby so he had an excuse to stay and listen. 

In just a few minutes Lili had Marisol and Lottie in stitches as she told a story about being bitten by a cow and then chased by an ostrich at a petting zoo. 

Lottie wiped a tear of laughter from the corner of her eye. “Oh my days, how old were you?”

Lili counted on her fingers for a moment. “I was... twenty-four.”

They stared at her. 

“It just happened the week before I came here. I was on an outing with some kids I mentor.”

Marisol looked at her hand. “I don’t see a bite mark.”

“Because cows don’t have upper teeth! I screamed bloody murder for nothing!” 

Lottie doubled over, her girlish laugh bouncing around the room. 

A phone dinged as Rahim wandered downstairs. Priya tracked behind, looking rumpled and glowy. Those two had a good morning. 

Rahim squinted at his phone and read the text out. “‘Islanders! Enjoy a lazy lie-in and then please dress to impress for a couples brunch in the garden!’”

Bobby pumped his fist. “Brunch! My second favorite meal of the day. After dessert, of course.” He caught Lili’s eye and gave her a wink. 

Before she could respond, Lottie dragged her upstairs to get dressed. 

When everyone looked presentable, he searched for Lili and found her standing in the lounge with Gary, who was whispering to her. 

What the hell was that? 

Bobby wrapped an arm around her waist. Calm. Cool. Not at all bothered. “C’mon slow poke! It’s brunch time.” He pulled her away, making her laugh. 

Priya loped beside him and gave a squeal to match his own as they saw the gorgeously set tables-for-two on the lawn. A vase with a single rose dotted each one. Beyond that, a buffet table was laden with delicious pastries, cereals, and juices. 

He pulled Lili behind him as he investigated all the food. “This is a great spread. Shame they don’t have any spaghetti hoops but I’ll settle for the crepes.” He turned to Lili. “What would you like?”

Biting her lip, she stood on her tiptoes. “French toast is my favorite.”

He nodded. “Yeah, but it’s got to be made just right, though. Nothing worse than when it turns into a scrambled egg mush.”

“True. But it’s not hard to make it right. Stale bread. Soak for no more than thirty seconds a side and let it sit for two minutes so the custard soaks in.”

Bobby grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close. “What kind of bread?” he whispered.

“Well,” she whispered back. “It depends on my mood. Most people would say Brioche. Challah is lovely, the texture inside is perfect.”

“Mmm.”

“But I go rogue. I like a nice, thick…” she leaned toward him. “Sourdough.”

He yanked her closer and kissed her ear. “Is it too early in our relationship to tell you how much that turned me on?” 

She giggled. “Down, pastry chef.”

He kissed her cheek. “Butter and syrup or do you get fancy?”

“I’m all about the classics,” she said. 

Marisol and Hope pulled Lili away to chat while he piled food on a plate. By the time he’d taken a bit of everything, most everyone else was seated. Lili waved to him from a table near the pool and the sun felt warmer than it had before. 

He put the plate down and sat. “You got sidetracked so I picked up some French toast for you as well. Didn’t want you to miss out.”

Her eyes softened. “That’s so lovely. Thank you.”

They tucked in, quietly. She broke a slice of bacon into small pieces and sprinkled it on top of the butter and syrup on her French toast. She gave him a sweet smile before cutting into it. He wanted to speak, to make a joke, but he didn’t. When they were alone, he found it so easy to talk to her. And even when it wasn’t easy, it still felt comfortable. But now found himself shy. Tongue-tied. He looked around at all the couples, sitting at rose decorated tables, flirting and smiling, while cameramen swooped around them, listening in, and suddenly he remembered the artifice of it all. 

It felt like a date but it wasn’t, was it? It was a performance. And he lived for a good performance, but how did the people at home see them? He knew she was well out of his league but how odd must it look to see two people so mismatched? A vibrant, stunning girl who moved like ocean waves and lived to help others, and what? The freckled jokester who got a stauner whenever she looked at him?

“Are you alright?” she reached across the table and took his hand. Her soft, concerned eyes searched his. “You look like you suddenly don’t feel well. Do you need something?” 

The warmth of her fingers on his jolted him back from the bramble bush his mind had wandered into. “Have you managed to count all my freckles?” he asked, suddenly. 

Her brows drew together but she smiled. “No. I’ve made it to twenty-six, but you really are quite fidgety. Also, every time I try in earnest, we end up kissing. At this rate, I’ll need to wait until you’re asleep to get an accurate number. Even then, I’d probably just end up kissing you.” Affection shone in her dark eyes. 

God, the way she looked at him. Girls never looked at him like that. Like he mattered so much. Like she wanted him so much. Like she thought his freckles were beautiful and his jokes were funny. 

Maybe she didn’t see him the way he saw himself. Did that mean there was something wrong with him, or something wrong with her? Did it matter? 

He squeezed her hand “What’s it like working for…” He thought hard. “The Fostering Thing?”

She smiled. “Close. The Fostering Project. It’s hard work. Basically we run several programs for fostered children to help maintain normalcy and a sense of connection.”

“What made you want to do that?”

“Quiet or well-adjusted kids in foster care get bounced around a lot to make space for the more troubled ones. I was one of the quiet ones. It was hard to make friends and maintain relationships. The internet helps, but it’s no substitute for face-to-face interactions. I got so little of that growing up, and it could be...quite lonely." Some part of her seemed to pull inward as she said this, but before Bobby could process the change in demeanor, she was back, her face glowing with enthusiasm. "So it was important to me to help these kids get a chance to make those connections.”

“What’s your favorite part?” he asked.

“Tough to choose. I teach dance classes two nights a week as a component of one of our programs. That’s a great deal of fun for me. But I think the best might be the camps. We operate several summer camps a year. It’s something familiar that the kids can count on, and they get to connect with other children who understand what it’s like to be in the system.”

She lit up so bright as she spoke about it. He’d never seen anyone so beautiful. Who was this girl? He didn’t know the details but he knew enough to know that the world had robbed her of her family, something Bobby could barely comprehend, and then, it kept taking. Her siblings, her friends, her stability. And instead of being angry, or simply curling into a lump, as he would have done, she just poured her heart into making sure other children didn’t have to suffer the way she had. She was extraordinary. 

“You’re so passionate about it,” he said. 

“I am! Just like you are about food.”

He shook his head. “Well it’s hardly the same.”

"Oh, I disagree. When you're in hospital, it usually means that your life has been upended. You're away from your home, your room, your bed, the people you love. You may not be able to care for yourself. And people walk in on you uninvited all hours of the day. It's a misery.” She pointed at the remnants of food on the plate between them. “But you have to eat. It's the most basic, foundational way of feeling in control. Comforted. The people you're feeding are likely going through some of the hardest times they've ever experienced. But you make the menus and you cook the food. You give them something to look forward to, something to make them feel good, and something that helps them get better so they can get back to their normal lives. That's a real gift.” She smiled. "Do you like it?"

He stared at her, barely hearing the question over the roaring in his ears. Roaring that amounted to nothing so much as the feeling of being pushed out of an aeroplane without a parachute. Falling. 

For her. 

She just kept breaking him and putting him back together and every time he felt more whole. More seen. He swallowed past the bubble in his throat. “Uh, I don’t hate it. But the hours are brutal. I’d like to sleep in until 6am sometimes.”

“What? Lazy.” She sat back and smiled at him. “Okay, out with it. Was is it you really want to do with your life?”

He opened his mouth, a joke at the ready about getting her naked, but she held up her hand. “No jokes and no avoiding the question.”

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. The cameraman had wandered over to Marisol and Gary’s table. “Honestly?”

“Yes, please.”

“I want my own cooking show.” He glanced at her, waiting for laughter or rolled eyes. 

She didn’t laugh. She considered it and a smile spread across her face, slowly unfurling like a garden flower. “I can’t think of anything more perfect for you.” 

“Because I need so much attention?” he asked, remembering what his sister said when he’d shared this tender little daydream with her. 

“No. Because I suspect you aren’t happy unless you’re making other people happy too. And you’re the most happy when you talk about food. So it all makes sense that you’d take those two things and put them together. Plus you're charming and funny and you literally made the best dessert I’ve ever eaten in my life. I think I dreamed about it last night.” She spread her hands out as if she could see his name in lights. “Baking with Chef Bobby. You’d be a smash hit.” 

His body tingled with excitement. “And I’d have a shop where you can buy aprons and oven gloves.”

“With puns on them?”

“Of course!” He leaned closer to her. “Crepe-ing on ya.”

She thought a moment. “Muffin compares to you.”

“Take whisks.”

“Bake love to me,” she said, wriggling her eyebrows. 

“Fork me in the kitchen.”

She threw her head back and laughed. “That’s the winner.” 

They sat in silence for a moment, sipping mimosas. Her eyes cut across the yard. “Lookit that,” she said, pointing to Hope and Noah. They were feeding each other. “Those two are in it to win it.” 

Bobby snickered. “It’s a little much isn’t it?”

“It wouldn’t be so bad if Hope weren’t so insufferable about it with all her, ‘We’re the strongest couple’ stuff.” She scrunched up her nose. “I defended them when Lottie said they were fake, and I stand by that. I think they're feelings are real. But sometimes it does seem a little…staged.” Hope giggled loudly and Lili rolled her eyes. “I quite like her one on one. She's genuinely kind, even if she is bossy. But when it comes to couple stuff, ugh. I know it’s spiteful of me, but sometimes I really want to take the wind out of her sails.”

“So let’s do that! We’ll be like a trickster god, teaching important life lessons to the pompous." He leaned across the table and winked at her. "Let’s _Loki_ these eejits.”

Her thinking face was full to the brim with devilry. “You know, Bobby. This has been a great date, but I think it’s missing something.”

“What’s it missing, my darling?”

“Well, the guys I see usually serenade me after a date.” She was holding back a smile, her eyes full of laughter.

He couldn’t help the grin that took over his face. “Do you actually want me to?”

She gestured for him to continue. “Absolutely. Get singing!”

“Alright, I’m game for it!” He shuffled through various songs in his head, remembering an American oldie his father liked to sing as he stood in the mirror, shaving before work. Bobby stood up and cleared his throat, warming up his voice with a few mi-mi-mi-miiiiis. The camera guy spun from Hope and Noah’s table and focused on them. Hope narrowed her eyes as Bobby began to sing: 

_ I've got sunshine on a cloudy day _

_ When it's cold outside I've got the month of May _

_ Well I guess you'd say _

_ What can make me feel this way? _

_ My girl (my girl, my girl) _

_ Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl) _

Lili’s eyes sparkled with laughter and mischief, but as he kept going, her expression softened and the look on her face. Oh. If he could bottle it he’d never have another cold day in Glasgow. 

She shone like the sun on moving water. 

If anyone else reacted to his sudden concert, he couldn’t hear them or see them any longer. He was transfixed by the way she looked at him. He gripped her hand and dropped to his knees and kept singing. 

_ I've got so much honey the bees envy me _

_ I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees _

_ Well I guess you'd say _

_ What can make me feel this way? _

_ My girl (my girl, my girl) _

_ Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl ooh) _

He kept going. When he finished the song, he vaguely heard the applause of the other islanders. He took Lili’s hands and raised them to his lips and kissed the back of them. “Do you want another song, lass? You keep looking at me like that and I’ll sing you a whole concert.”

“No. That was perfect.” She squeezed his hands. "I've nev--"  
  
"Oh my days, you two are adorable!" Priya grabbed Lili's shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "Sorry lovebirds, but we're all headed inside to change."

Marisol wandered over as well, looking sad. "Actually, I need to steal Lili away for a chat. Meet me on the daybed?"

"Absolutely," she said. "I'll be there in a mo."  
  
Priya and Marisol wandered off. Lili was silent for a few seconds, before giving Bobby a sweet smile that melted his bones. "This was the best date I've ever had." Before he could make a joke about what a sad statement that was, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. He held her tight and she melted into him. "Thank you for singing to me." With a sigh, she stepped out of his arms. He missed her there immediately.   
  
"Anytime." He kissed her softly and then watched her walk away, feeling overwhelmed, ecstatic, and terrified all at once. What was this girl doing to him?

Rocco slowed beside him and clapped a hand on Bobby’s back. His heavy green gaze followed Lili and then returned to Bobby. "My friend, I can honestly say I've never seen two people's auras glow so brightly together."

Lili smiled at something, and Bobby blew out a breath. "I know," he said, unable to take his eyes off of her. "I can see us now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again, to the marvelous Mon, Jolene, and Prim for reading this way too many times and walking me through the importance of hospital food, the stupidity of the game dialogue and for not telling me to remove the Frankenstein's boner joke. Oh and special thanks to Prim who wrote the most beautiful fic ever and I came along and stole "Take whisks" and used as part of a dirty joke. I am who I am. 
> 
> If you like what I'm writing, leave me kudos or a comment. Validation and compliments are my preferred currencies. Thank you for reading!


	18. Every Time You Shine, I'll Shine for You

After that heavy meal, everyone had retreated to the sunshine to let the food settle. Bobby floated in a pool tyre, wearing his sunglasses, mostly so he could keep looking at Lili without seeming as besotted as he felt. She sat on a sun lounger, her blue and white bikini still doing all kinds of things for him as she applied sun cream. She glanced in his direction and gave him a shy smile.

His chest felt odd.

Back in Glasgow, his favorite time of year was fall. He loved when the leaves turned golden and red, and the wind picked them up, throwing them everywhere.

That’s what it felt like in his chest. Like it was full of leaves caught in an autumn breeze, spinning wildly out of control. A rainstorm of color.

Lottie shouted something at him and he turned his attention in her direction. She splashed him and he splashed her back. When he looked back toward Lili, she was no longer alone. Gary stood over her, casting a huge shadow.

Gary again? Everyone knew he fancied Lili a bit, but was he trying to turn her head? Lili had her head tilted as if considering whatever it was Gary said. The leaves in Bobby’s chest began whipping around, losing their color.

Lili nodded and stood, following Gary over to the gym. She chatted for a moment before getting on the bench. He handed her a set of weights and she started doing reps. There was no way it was anything but a show so they could speak privately. No one was seriously working out after the meal they’d had.

He looked away. Beside him, on her own inflatable, Lottie’s gaze went where his had left. Her green eyes narrowed and her mouth pursed up. “What do you think is going on there?” she spat.

“No idea.” He stared at her. Gary wasn’t Lottie’s partner and they didn’t even seem to like each other, especially after the rammy they had earlier, but there was no denying the jealousy in her expression. “Why? Do you fancy him or something?”

She gave him a look of disgust. “Of course not. He’s a complete idiot. And he hurt Hannah.” With that, she climbed off the tyre into the water and left the pool.

Huh. He looked back at the gym. They were still there. After a long time, Gary helped her up. Then he leaned in a little too close for it to be accidental. Lili laughed and stepped back, and he brushed his hands through his blonde hair as if he were frustrated. Was she playing the _ how long can you go without kissing me _ game? She gave him a pat on the shoulder and walked off, dropping onto the beanbags, where Hope and Marisol were chatting.

He was unsure how long he’d floated there brooding, but Gary was still at the gym, wiping down the equipment, as if he needed to occupy his hands. Maybe because he was thinking about putting them on Lili.

Irritation, far more irritation than the situation warranted, coursed through him. Whatever had happened, it wasn’t on. If Gary decided to graft on Lili, he should at least do him the courtesy of letting him know. The longer he thought about it, the more the irritation turned to anger. This wasn’t about jealousy. This was about respect. Bobby wasn’t his mum, flying off the handle whenever a woman so much as glanced at his dad. He could handle people looking at the pretty girl he fancied, but he’d be damned if he’d be mugged off by someone claiming to be his pal.

He climbed off the tyre and headed for the pool steps. He was going to go over there and have a calm, rational conversation and find out Gary’s intentions.

He was halfway to the gym when a phone dinged loudly.

“I got a text!” Hope shouted from the beanbags.

Oh come on. Gary rushed by him as he headed for the beanbags and Bobby followed along.

He struggled to focus as Hope read out the confusing tweet that explained the day’s game. Lili grabbed his hand as they all made their way to the challenge stage and in the warmth of her touch, his anger dissipated, leaving him feeling foolish. She fancied him, not Gary. He was sure of it. Pretty sure. Kinda sure.

“You’re being awfully quiet. Are you alright?” she asked.

“Yeah, sorry. The sun baked my brain.”

She nodded and gave his hand a squeeze. He returned it.

At the stage, they were instructed in the text to take their places in front of various buckets of slime. Marisol read out the instructions. Mixing colors. Blah blah blah, girls can’t use their hands. Winner would get ice lollies.

Lili perked up at that. “Oh I hope they’re the ones with the sorbet on the outside and the ice cream in the center.”

“I can’t think about ice lollies when I know I’m going to be coated in slime,” Gary said. “Did they make this challenge just for Bobby?”

Bobby squashed down the last of his irritation and affected his best impression of himself. “Yeah, it’s like they read my mind! I do love getting dirty.” He winked at Lili who laughed and rolled her eyes.

Next to them Rahim whinged about getting slime in his rows and Lottie took a pot shot at Priya. Same old same old.

Lili nodded at her phone before setting it down and picking up the bucket of yellow slime. She dumped it all over Bobby and he laughed as the cold goo slid down his body. “This reminds me of a night out I once had.”

“I can only imagine,” Lili said with a grin.

Once the guys were coated in slime, the girls took Olympic stances across the deck and waited for the whistle. They charged at the guys and an almighty wet slap thundered across the paddling pool as bodies collided in an explosion of goop. Everyone had an opinion on the texture of the slime whether they were yelling, laughing, or complaining.

Rocco stood in starfish pose, coated in blue slime. 

“C’mon, ladies,” Bobby hollered. I’m up for grabs!”

Lili grinned and rushed for him, but Priya got there first.

“Hey Bobby,” she said giggling. Before he could say anything, she threw her arms over his shoulders. Keeping her hands out of the way, she pressed herself against him and shimmied. Her sizeable breasts, in a less-than-sizable swimsuit, rubbed up and down on his bare chest. It felt good and horribly awkward at the same time. In his discomfort he laughed.

Over Priya’s shoulder, just a foot away, Lili stopped running. She blinked a few times as if trying to hide it, but nothing masked the hurt on her face.

Fek. Bobby tried to step backward to put space between himself and Priya, but the force of her chest against his nearly sent him falling. He grabbed her shoulders and grunted as she arched her hips a little too far as he righted himself, fully making contact with his cock.

“Well hello_ big guy _,” she said. “Who would have guessed?”

His face burned.

Lili’s eyes narrowed and she cut the distance between them in just two steps. Bobby tensed, waiting for her to make a scene. To make accusations. Instead, she flashed Priya a grin. “Girl, I know he’s too gorgeous to resist, but I’ve got first dibs on the _ big guy _.”

_ Too gorgeous to resist? _Bobby felt simultaneous guilt about Priya and arousal at the thought of Lili claiming his cock and calling him gorgeous.

Priya spun and flushed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

She waved her hand. “It’s part of the game. Keep having fun.” Priya backed away and Lili watched her go.

Beneath the slime Bobby could feel the heat pulsing off his face. “Fancy meeting you here,” he said.

“Mmm,” she said, laughter taking the edge out of her voice. “Your slime is mine, Bobby.”

Jesus Mary and Jo—his body responded as though she’d caressed him through his pants. He wanted everything of his to be hers. “Feeling feisty, eh?” He launched himself at her the same time she went for him, slipping and sliding across the pool. “I haven’t had a proper wrestling match in yonks,” he shouted, gripping her tightly.

“Ahhhh!” She shrieked with laughter. “This isn’t fair! I can’t use my hands!”

“Who says I want it to be fair?” After rubbing against her an unseemly amount, he finally released her and looked down at his now slightly tented shorts. “Well that’s woken me up.”

Lili laughed and started to pull away.

“Wait! You missed a spot,” he shouted. He flicked her nose, smearing yellow goop on her face. “There we go! Much better…”

She rubbed her nose against his, smearing it back on his face.

He grabbed her and pulled her close. “We aren’t winning this one,” he said. “Let’s just wrestle some more.”

“No, I want to win!” she said. “Ice lollies, remember?”

“There’s more important things than winning,” he said as he smeared more goop on her.

“Stop referring to your erection as ‘important!’” She didn’t try very hard to escape, submitting with laughter to his wriggling until finally he released her.

“Okay fine, go be competitive.”

She winked at him and slid away. She must have been making orange, because she headed toward Gary just a few steps away. Lottie rushed for Bobby and rubbed against him, but he couldn’t stop watching Lili. Gary grinned at she shimmied up and down his body. She was moving fast, but he laughed and grabbed her. A hiss of jealousy sizzled out of Bobby and it only hissed louder as Gary’s fingers trailed her stomach. Lili jerked with a squeal. “Ticklish!” she laughed.

Gary drew a smiley face in red slime on her tummy. What the actual fuck?

“There,” he said. “My masterpiece.”

Lili pulled away, now coated in orangish slime and headed toward the buckets. Lottie said something to Bobby, but he only vaguely heard it over the angry drubbing in his ears.

“Bobby, did you see that?” Lottie growled.

He shook off his daze as Lottie stomped toward some kind of kerfuffle happening near the buckets.

Hope’s face was contorted in fury. “What the hell is this? You don’t need red to make green!” Priya was covered in green and red slime like a sticky Christmas cookie and Noah didn’t look all that put out about it.

Priya’s eyes were huge and contrite. “Really? I’m not so good with colors.”

Lottie stuck her nose in and called Priya a liar, accusing her of all manner of moral crimes. Lili stood in silence, her hands kneading together anxiously.

The arguing between Lottie and Priya intensified, until Lottie turned and fixed Lili with a snarl. “Lili isn’t saying much. Probably because she pulled the same stunt herself.”

Lili’s eyebrows went up. “I did what everyone was doing. You rubbed on Bobby and you were smiling and having a great time. You don’t see me having a go at you.”

“That’s not the same—”

“Leave off Lottie, you know it’s exactly the same,” Bobby cut in. Gary’s behavior notwithstanding, Lili hadn’t done anything to deserve that sneering attitude. With an exaggerated huff, Lottie squelched her way across the pool, putting her back to everyone.

Lili gave him a grateful smile before leaving everyone to their bickering. She raced for the jug and stared at it, then down at her hands. “Babe! Quick, get this slime off me.”

Bobby made his way over to her, fighting conflicting feelings of jealousy and heat.

“Hang on,” Hope declared. “The text said we couldn’t use hands.”

“It said we couldn’t use _ our _ hands,” Lili said.

Bobby grinned. She was pure brilliant. “Alright, let's get you clean.” He put his hand on her belly and rubbed away that damned smiley face first, scooping it into the jug. When the stuff inside looked relatively orange he gave her a slimy high five and she hugged him, her warm body, slick and perfect against his.

Her phone buzzed and she leaned down to read the screen, as she was still fairly slime-coated.

“‘Lili, as the Islander with the most slime that closest resembles your assigned colour, you win today’s challenge and the ice lollies. #willyoushare #lickaway.’”

“Nice!” Bobby hollered. Everyone clapped and slime flew in all directions, making people duck and shriek.

Afterward, everyone broke off chatting. The girls gathered on the lawn and the guys, smelling the drama in the air, stood far, far away from it, throwing slime at each other.

Bobby kept an eye on the girls. He couldn’t hear their murmurings but some arguing was definitely going on. Lili seemed to be playing referee, her hands up as she calmly spoke. Hope looked upset, but not nearly as upset as Lottie. After a while, the girls broke apart, some of them heading for the villa.

Lili heaved a heavy sigh and gave Hope a hug before scanning the yard. He sat a little taller, waiting to give her a smile and maybe make a face at her. Something to soothe her stress and make her laugh. But her eyes skimmed past him. Tucking her curls behind her ears, she crossed the yard, straight to...Gary. 

The jealousy Bobby had been pushing back crept forward and it brought a hissing voice with it. 

_ He can’t have her. _

Mate, you’ve only been together for what? Two days? And even if she was your girlfriend—and she’s not—she doesn't belong to you. 

She pressed her hand to Gary's arm and spoke quietly. Her wide brown eyes as serious as they'd been when she’d asked for a hug. Whatever she was saying, it mattered.

_ It's obvious she's grafting on him. She liked his hands on her. Maybe they've been there before. _

He froze. No. She's not like that. Stop it. This isn't who you are. It’s disgusting to be so possessive. It's just a chat with a friend. She can talk to whoever she likes.

Gary scratched the back of his head and nodded at her words. He spoke just as quietly. Something he said made her laugh, a bright exhalation that carried across the yard. 

_ He wants her. Her touch. Her laugh. And he makes her laugh as much as you do. Why would she stay with you when she could have him? It's not like you have something else to offer. _

You have things. You have...cupcakes. 

They spoke for another minute or two. Lili's gaze was warm. She laughed and held out a fist. He gave her a fist bump and said something that made her pause. She tilted her head and bit her lip. She leaned closer and said something that made a smile break across Gary's face. She nodded and he pulled her into a hug that seemed to last forever. 

_ She probably told him she fancies him. And he fancies her back. She's swapping you out. Mugging you off on telly. _

No...she’s...she’s not? 

Lili pulled herself from his giant tattooed arms. Gary turned. He looked at Bobby and then away, as if he were guilty of something. Swallowing, he gave off a cheeky smile. “Right, sod being covered in this stuff any longer. To the showers!” 

Most of the guys grunted in agreement and ran for the villa.

Bobby stayed where he was, sitting on the grass, letting his anger settle into his stomach like a spoonful of poison, as he re-crafted the slime man that Rahim had accidentally stepped on.

_ You're losing the only girl who's made you feel special. _

I know.

A shadow fell over him. He looked up. Lili bent down, blocking the sun. "Hey," she said. Her eyes were soft and sparkling, no hint of betrayal in them. "Your slime man needs some locs."

“He’ll have them. Art takes time.” He couldn’t look up, as he was afraid his face would give away his jealousy.

“Okay, I’ll leave you to it then.” She stood and hesitated. “You know the showers are probably full up. Want to eat an ice lolly with me while we wait?”

He looked around. They were alone. The cameramen had followed the drama into the villa. “Sure.”

She almost seemed shy as she took his hand and pulled him to the kitchen. They washed at the sink, rinsing the slime off their hands, necks, and faces.

“Looked like a lot of drama over there,” he said, as he dried off with a soft towel.

“Yeah. Lottie went after Priya and then attacked everyone else. Hope had to invoke girl code to get her to let it go.” She leaned against the counter and unwrapped her Mojito ice lolly. “Priya’s had just about enough of Lottie. They’re going to kick off soon, I can feel it.”

He nodded. “That’s not gonna be good for any of us.” He stared at his still unwrapped ice lolly.

“Bobby, are you upset with me?” she asked softly.

“Why would I be upset?” He caught her eye and gave his usual carefree smirk. “I’ve got a gorgeous girl, a gourmet lolly, and a beautiful day. What more could I want?”

She searched his face. “Would you tell me if you were?”

“Of course,” he lied. He wouldn’t be the person he felt inside. He wouldn’t come unglued and be jealous and drive her away.

“Okay,” she said. She turned and leaned against the counter and started sucking on the ice lolly. In just a moment or two, creamy white sorbet drizzled down the stick from the warmth of her tongue and dripped over her fingers. Well that shook him out of his mood.

“Gah, it’s melting so fast.” Licking her hand, she held the stick out to him. “It’s pretty good. Do you want a taste?”

Between all the slipping around earlier and watching her with the lolly, his entire body ached. He nodded. She handed it to him and he set it on the bar. “What are you—”

“I want a taste.” He gripped her jaw and stared down at her sticky lips. And then he kissed her. Every time he kissed her she tasted so sweet. This time, it was mint and sugar and lime.

Her contented sigh warmed him. She teased his lower lip and sucked it gently. He couldn’t stop the growl that rumbled in his throat. She laughed and he caught her giggle on his tongue. It was sweeter than a summer cocktail.

She pulled back and bit her lip.

He followed the movement hungrily. “Let me do that.” He was never this forward. He loved sex but he wasn’t one to get pushy or demanding, yet one moment things were sweet and slow like honey from the pantry and the next they were pouring like hot maple syrup. He spun her around and pressed her against the refrigerator, kissing her feverishly. Scraping his teeth over her lower lip, he took her mouth with all the heat and jealousy he had inside.

She didn’t shrink from the taste of his frustration. She met it and gave it back, her hands digging into his locs. If his body was on fire before, it was an inferno now. He wrapped a hand in her hair and turned her head, sliding his mouth down her neck, grazing his teeth and tongue over her sun-salty skin.

“Bobby,” she moaned softly. Fuck that made him hard. He cupped her breast through her slime-stained bikini. Her nipple was firm against his palm. He pressed his body tight to hers and she arched her hips as if it wasn’t enough contact. He grabbed her thigh and pulled it high on his hip, grinding himself against her and she whimpered against his mouth.

Desire knotted low in his abdomen. “I can’t get enough of you, lass.”

“I’m not usually like this,” she said breathlessly. “I don’t even kiss until the fifth date.”

“You’re a good girl,” he grunted. “You should definitely stop that.”

“Seems like I have,” she gasped.

A laugh snapped him out of the moment. It came from the villa. Voices were headed their way. “Fek,” he groaned dropping her leg. Her lips were berry red, her eyes heavy with lust and her nipples were pushing out from her bathing suit. She looked exactly what she was. A girl who’d nearly gone all the way against a refrigerator.

His erection pulsed as he caught his breath. It wasn’t going anywhere for a few minutes. He tugged her over to the bar and snuggled up close to her, hiding both of their outward signs of lust. He cupped her jaw and just looked at her. She flushed under his gaze.

“Tell me something that’s gonna make this stauner go away,” he murmured.

“Um, did you know that cows don’t have upper teeth?”

“I heard that this morning. Do ostriches have teeth?”

“I have no idea. I didn’t let it get close enough to find out. I have never run so fast in my life. The kids were laughing so loud, and I could still hear the damned ostrich hissing and shrieking at me. I was like, this is how I die. Ostrich’ed to death.”

Her eyes were so wide and sincere, he couldn’t help but laugh. “How did you escape?”

“I jumped into the rabbit pen and climbed the hutch. The employees were wrestling with the ostrich and I was standing on top of this rickety little structure, yelling at the top of my lungs, ‘It’s coming for me!’ I’m telling you right now, I’ll never go to a petting zoo again. I took my life in my hands.”

He pressed his forehead to hers and snorted with laughter. “You might be the funniest girl I’ve ever met.”

Priya wandered into the kitchen with her water bottle. She looked them over and quirked a brow. “Okay love birds, get a room.”

“Oh you’re one to talk,” Bobby said, his face heating. 

“Hey, the terrace counts as a room,” she said. “We very much had a room.”

“A kitchen is a room.”

“Yeah, well, you can’t get hydrated on the terrace,” Priya said. She filled her bottle and sauntered off, hips swaying.

Lili watched her go, her expression difficult to discern.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

“Do you—” she looked into his eyes. “Do you want Priya as much as you want me?”

He stared hard at her, not entirely understanding the question at first. “What? No.” He stroked her chin. “I want you. Only you.”

“You kissed her, though.”

He stilled, his heart pounding. “I—” he swallowed. “I did. But it was before we—”

“I know. It was the day she picked Rahim. Her lipstick left a bit of a stain on you.”

The guilt he’d pushed aside came roaring back and it brought a bit of resentment with it. After all, he’d had to actually _ watch _ her kiss Rahim. “She was trying to decide who to choose. We kissed. It wasn’t anything.”

She stared at the space between their bodies. “You don’t have to explain. What you did before we were paired up is not my business and I wouldn’t hold that against you. But when I saw you two today. It—” A frown creased her brow. “I’m not like Priya. I’m not terribly…experienced the way she is. And I know you’re flirty, it’s who you are, and I wouldn’t change that. I don’t get like this, I…” She looked up. Fire burned in her eyes and it lit flames inside of him.

She was jealous.

He’d always hated jealousy. Hated feeling it. Hated it directed his way. He despised the feeling of being controlled. But Lili’s jealousy felt like a balm. Like assurance. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. She didn’t want anyone else to have him but she wasn’t trying to control him or start fights. All she wanted was to know how he felt.

He felt so much it frightened him. He couldn’t tell her that, couldn’t begin to say it out loud or even think too hard about it. Couldn’t articulate his own jealousies and fears. Instead he kissed her softly. “I don’t want Priya. I don’t want anyone the way I want you.”

The shudder of her breath on his lips, the warmth of her hand resting on his heart, overwhelmed him. A storm began inside of himself, but not one made of gray rain or choppy waters. It was a tempest tearing through quiet forests, bending trees, stripping leaves, creating a cyclone of burning vibrant color spinning so fiercely he knew it was only a matter of time before he was swept up in it and destroyed.

Fuck it. 

He kissed her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again, to Mon, Jolene, and Prim. You are all amazing writers and I'm absolutely unworthy of all your help and support, but like Bobby with Lili, I'm not dumb enough to turn it down 💖 
> 
> If you like this story, leave me kudos or a comment here or throw me a tweet @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are my preferred currencies. Thank you for reading!


	19. Kiss Me Once 'Cause You Know I Had a Long Night

Bobby wandered to the kitchen later that evening. Dinner hadn’t filled him up and he was starved. 

Gary must have felt the same. He was standing there looking forlornly at a loaf of uncut sourdough. Jagged pieces of bread littered the counter. 

He didn’t look up so Bobby gave him his space and grabbed a serrated knife from the drawer. “May I?” Gary nodded, so he took the loaf and cut several thick slices off, handing two of them to him. 

Gary looked at them sadly and shook his head. “Mate, I have to say something,” he said slowly. 

The tomatoes glistened in the bowl by the cooker, so Bobby sat one down on the cutting board and sliced it up. “Go ahead.” 

“I’m sorry. Today. I uh…My heads a mess right now. Things aren’t great with Marisol and Lottie’s on my back and I guess…” He scooped a spoonful of mayonnaise on the bread slice and made a mess of it. He put far too much on and slopped it all over the place, ripping the bread trying to correct it. Bobby couldn’t help but stare. How could this man operate cranes but couldn’t put a condiment on a sandwich properly? 

“Bobs?” 

“Sorry, yeah, what were you saying?” 

“I went a little too far during the challenge with Lili. I shouldn’t have touched her like that.” 

“What?” He neatly laid slices of turkey and tomato on top of the bread. 

“Didn’t she talk to you about it?” Gary piled meat on the sandwich haphazardly. “Bruv, she told me off afterward. Said it was disrespectful to her and to you. She was right. That was too much.” 

Bobby’s mind reeled. “Were you grafting on her? Earlier? At the gym?” He swept some mayo on his bread and put the sandwich together. 

“What? No? I was asking her advice about Marisol. I can see how it might look that way, though. Gah, I’ve messed everything up.” He squashed the horrible, lopsided sandwich down, making it look even worse. The sight of it offended Bobby’s culinary sensibilities. It was a disaster of meat and oozing mayo. “Truth is, I do have a bit of a crush on her. But she told me she doesn’t feel the same, so...” he shrugged. 

Bobby stared at the counter. Part of him amazed and grateful that Lili had not wanted that attention. But all day he’d been worrying and seething for nothing. Just like his mum used to when his dad so much as breathed in the direction of another woman. It was always unjustified. It was an ugly part of himself that he’d avoided awakening and now that it was done sleeping, the roar was loud. 

“Thank you for coming to me like this. I appreciate it.” 

Gary looked at Bobby’s sandwich. “I still don’t get how you make it balance like that.” 

Before he could reply, there was a stampede of clacking heels as Lottie came tearing into the kitchen, her mouth twisted in rage. “Leave me alone!” she shouted. 

“Whoa! What’s happening?” Gary said, dropping his sandwich on the counter.

“Priya, that’s what.” 

Priya stormed over, in a gold dress slit to her hip. “There you go again! You straight up blame me and make me look like a baddie, but you’re the one who can’t go two minutes without getting salty.” 

Lili came rushing behind, along with Hope and Marisol. She was breathing heavily and worry shadowed her eyes. 

Lottie threw her hand up and accidentally knocked the remainder of the bread loaf across the counter and into the grass. Gary groaned. 

“Wait, so who should we be cheering for?” Bobby asked. 

Lili shook her head. “Neither. They’re both being ridiculous.” 

“What’s Lottie actually done,” Gary asked, his brow furrowed as he reached for the butter knife. Priya slammed her palm on the counter, bouncing the knife onto the floor. 

“You’re saying you haven’t noticed?” 

The battle swirled on. Priya was angry because Lottie made rude comments all the time about her, and Lottie’s stance was that nothing she said was untrue and therefore it was fine to do what she’d been doing. 

Lili rubbed her fingers between her eyebrows. “That’s not how real life works, Lottie. Anyway, you’ve argued enough. You need some space from each other. Maybe once everyone’s had a breather we can discuss this like adults.” 

Both girls stormed off. Lili’s shoulders slumped “So much for a nice evening.” 

“Come here, lass,” he said, needing to give her some care. She walked to him and he tugged her into an embrace. She sighed and melted against his chest. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, as if his arms were a balm. He gave her a squeeze. Holding her was a balm for him too. He could hardly believe what Gary had told him. He was so goddamn lucky to have her. 

“It’s only day four in here! I’m not having this kind of thing kick off already,” Hope declared. 

Lili pulled away and raised her brow but didn’t say anything about Hope’s queenly statement. 

“We need to get those two to see eye-to-eye as soon as possible,” Hope said. “Lili you’re probably the best person to do this. They might actually listen to you. I’ll talk to Priya. You sort Lottie out, okay?” She walked off toward the pool and Marisol headed to the villa. 

“Yes, Lady Hope, I am ever at your service,” Lili muttered, curtseying at Hope’s retreating back. 

“Drama much! Sorry you’re caught in the middle of all this.” He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. “Can I do anything to help?”

She pressed her head to his chest and groaned. “No. I’d better go figure this out.”

“Okay, well why don’t you come find me if you need to chat?” He gave her hand a squeeze. 

“Thanks, babe.” She squeezed back and sighed. “Off to slay some dragons.” 

“Bring me back some gold or a pure sweet set of armor.” 

“And here I thought I was the only treasure you needed,” she said, some of her cheek returning. She gave him a wave and headed into the Villa where Lottie had run off.

“What the hell do you make of that?” Gary asked. “Have the girls finally snapped?”

“Looks like it,” he said, tearing open a packet of crisps. “Wish there was something I could do to help.”

“I get that,” Gary said. “But best to stay out of the way of girl fights. Women are brutal. When they start battlin’ just cover your bollocks and keep your head down.” He picked up his miserable, gloppy sandwich and took a bite. “Ugh, too much mayonnaise.”

Bobby couldn’t stand it anymore. He sliced his sandwich in half and handed one side to Gary. “Please throw that thing away. It’s murdering my appetite, lad.”

The disgusting approximation of food was quickly binned, and Gary took what was offered with a grateful smile. They ate in silence until he frowned and sat the remaining bit of his sandwich down. “Do you uh… do you believe in ‘The Spark’?” 

He could have made a joke, but the big man’s eyes were vulnerable and a little surprised, as if he hadn’t meant to ask something so unmanly, and Bobby couldn’t bring himself to squash that vulnerability for the sake of a bad joke.

“Ay. I believe in it. You have to have it or why be with someone?” 

“Bloody ‘ _ Spark’ _ .” Gary sighed heavily. “Marisol says we don’t have it.”

“Do you think you do?”

Gary picked up the last of his sandwich and shoved it in his mouth, chewing slowly. He finally swallowed and chased it with a gulp of milk. “I don’t know. Maybe? How big is a spark?”

Bobby rubbed his hand over his chest. “It depends. Sometimes it’s tiny, like just a hint of light. And sometimes…” he thought about Lili and her blinding brightness. “Sometimes it’s the whole fireworks display.” 

Gary nodded. “The tiny one, then. That’s Marisol. But the fireworks display? I have that,” he said. “But with someone else.”

Bobby ran through the roster of women in the villa, coming up blank. Did he mean Lili? “Who?”

“Um, maybe, it’s...Lottie?” Gary said, more a question than a statement. 

Bobby nearly choked on his sourdough. “Weren’t you two just fighting this morning?”

Gary rubbed at the back of his head. “Yeah, but that’s only because she gets bitchy when she’s hurting and I didn’t handle it properly.” His face took on a dreamy glow. “But there’s something about her.”

“Something about who?” Rocco asked as he wandered over in his usual haze of patchouli and enlightenment. “Are you talking about Marisol?”

“Uh yeah,” Gary said. “Marisol.”

While Rocco started spouting off about Marisol’s aura, Bobby finished his sandwich and then ate the rest of his crisps. Gary and Lottie? He’d had an inkling that Lottie may have had a little crush on the guy, but no idea that it was reciprocated. What a dog’s breakfast they’d make as a couple. But he supposed it was no different than Lili and himself.

For once, the knowledge of what a mismatch they were didn’t make him anxious. The hissing jealousy that had been in his head all day had gone strangely silent at some point. Maybe because he now knew what Lili told Gary, or maybe because it was hard to be jealous of a man who wasn’t capable of assembling a sandwich. Either way, Bobby felt at ease. He sat up a little straighter and heaved a sigh of relief. 

Across the lawn, Lili was speaking to Priya and Hope and it didn’t look like it was going well. His contentment vanished. She ran off toward the villa and returned a minute or two later with Lottie on one side and Marisol on the other. They headed to the fire pit where some kind of meeting was taking place. It seemed like it got a little heated, but ended quickly with everyone looking a touch more relaxed. Except for Lili herself, who looked worn out. She waved weakly to the girls and returned to the villa. 

What the hell was going on? 

He put everything away and then tidied up the kitchen, before leaving a visibly annoyed Gary with a ridiculously clueless Rocco nattering about star alignments.

He found Lili sitting on their bed, looking exhausted. “My poor girl,” he said.

She nodded. “This is stressing me.” 

“Not going well?”

“I don’t know if we can get those two to see eye to eye. I got them calmed, but I don’t think this is over. Priya’s entitled to be mad because Lottie’s been unfair. But Priya didn’t go about it well, either. And let’s be honest, she knew damned well what she was doing when she rubbed on Noah.”

He sat beside her. “This is a problem. Those two could really tear the villa apart.” 

“I hate this.” She rubbed at her forehead. “Back when I was in secondary, no matter what school I went to, there were always girls like Lottie and Hope and Priya. And somehow I always found myself caught in their drama, playing peacekeeper. Sort of...weaponized for their agendas.” She groaned. “I feel like I’m right back there. It’s that same push and pull. Demands to pick sides. Can’t stay neutral or I’ll alienate absolutely everyone. Hannah was the only girl here I could trust.”

“I’m sorry lass.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him. “At least we have each other.”

Her brow softened and she stroked his cheek. “Thank goodness for that.” 

He gave her a broad smile and kissed her. Something soft and sweet that could tell her, in a way he couldn’t say aloud, how grateful he was for her. But nothing ever stayed soft and sweet between them, and soon, their tongues were curling against one another and she was whimpering as his hands roamed her body. Something wasn’t quite right though. Her light was dim, her arms loosely wrapped around his neck, and her kissing lacked energy.

He pulled back. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. This isn’t what you need right now is it?”

“I don’t know what I need,” she said. 

He thought a moment. “Why don’t you lay down and I’ll give you a massage?”

Her glow returned, warming the room. “Would you really?”

“For you, anything.” They could always do a little snogging after she relaxed.

She gave him the most grateful smile and it lit him up inside. She scooted onto the bed, rolling over on her stomach and slid the straps down off her dress, leaving her back bare. He stared at her for a long moment, and heard her laugh into the pillow. 

“I don’t have any tattoos on my back, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

“Dammit.” He chuckled. “I’ve never given a massage before, but I’ve kneaded a lot of bread dough, so let’s hope it’s the same,” he said quietly. She laughed and he concentrated on the spaces beneath her shoulder blades, using the heels of his hands to apply pressure as he kneaded. She moaned softly as he worked, and arched into his hands. He paused to lean toward her ear. “Relax,” he whispered. “Let me do the work.” 

She made sounds of pleasure that woke his body up. When he got to her hips and that spectacular ass, he hesitated, knowing that if he put his hands any lower, the massage would cease to be a massage. The selfish guy inside him wanted to make her moan louder, to taste her skin and feel her grind against him. But that would only wind them both up and what she needed more than anything right now was comfort. 

With a supreme effort, he rolled his fists upward, and she groaned. “This feels amazing.”

“I’m glad.” He blew out a breath. “Gary talked to me tonight. About the challenge.” He used his thumbs and traced the sides of her spine. “Thank you for talking to him.”

She nodded and turned her head. “It was the right thing to do.” She didn’t say anything else about it and neither did he. Instead, he kept going for a few more minutes, until her body had all but melted under his hands and she’d gone totally silent.

“All done,” he said softly. She didn’t move and he pushed her curls back from her ear and kissed her temple. “All done, lass.” She let out a soft snore. Aww, his bonnie girl was exhausted. 

Careful not to wake her, he tugged the straps of her dress back into place, and pressed a gentle kiss to the center of her back. Then, he slid her high heels off, and stroked the soft sides of her feet. She was pretty everywhere. 

Along the outside edge of her instep, he saw a tiny flash of white against her bronze skin. He leaned closer and saw that the white was a line of letters just on the edge between the side and sole. You’d never see it in a shoe and being on the inner part of her foot, you’d likely never see it...unless you’d touched her there or kissed her there. 

That was the trick of her hidden secrets. You had to get close enough to touch her and taste her. Kiss her ear and find a word that she won’t explain. Worship her beautiful feet and get a tiny surprise. Perhaps slide your tongue between her fingers and find a gift there, like magic. 

He looked closer.  _ Amanecí bailando _ . He had to assume it was more Spanish. He was pretty good at accents but absolutely dreadful at learning languages. He dug around in his head and vaguely recalled a pop song called “Bailando.” It meant...dancing? Maybe?

Trying not to wake her, he got up and gently rubbed her head, finding all the bobby pins that held her soft curls into place. He sat them on the bedside table. The hard part was slowly pulling the bedding out from underneath her. She grunted and curled into a grumpy ball and he couldn’t help but smile as he managed to free them and cover her up. She sighed contentedly and after a moment let out another little snore. 

A ripple of contented pleasure went through him. They wouldn’t be snogging tonight, but this felt just as good. Maybe better. No one else in the villa got this part of Lili. No one else could see her tattoos or smooth the space between her brows and tuck her into bed. No one else had the privilege of taking care of her this way. Not Rahim. Not Gary. 

He could have changed into his pyjamas, but he didn’t want to leave her side. Quickly, he stripped down to his boxers and slid in beside her. He stroked her cheek. How on earth had he gotten so lucky? How long could he hold onto her before she realized that she could do better? 

No, he couldn’t think like that. It would murder him. Also, she could have accepted Gary’s flirtation, but she didn’t. And he’d seen that flash of jealous fire in her eyes earlier. She wasn’t being false. For whatever reason, she saw something special in him and he had to keep reminding himself of that. She said she fancied him and he had to believe it. He kissed her forehead, and closed his eyes. 

But just to be safe, maybe he’d make some more magic cupcakes in the morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mon, Jolene, and Prim. You KNOW what you did 😊 Oh and thanks to the super talented Meroboh for adding this story to the LI fic master list on Reddit!
> 
> If you like this story, leave me kudos or a comment here or throw me a tweet @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are my preferred currencies. Thank you for reading! 💓


	20. Shadows Bleeding Through the Light

Bobby overslept. And awoke to chaos.

A cacophony of whoops and cheers came from outside. Through barely open eyes he saw the boys scrambling to get dressed while they muttered obscenities. Shaking his head, he turned over and reached for Lili, but the space beside him was cool and empty. 

“What’s going on?” he asked groggily, to no one in particular. 

“New boys,” Gary said, his face a mask of horror. “New. Boys.” He took off, racing behind Noah and Rahim. 

It took a moment for the words to register. New boys? He shot out of bed, threw his shorts on over his boxers, and scrambled to catch up. 

Near the pool, the guys had pushed their way forward, forming a wall between the new boys and the girls.

Lili stood at the back of the crowd looking gorgeous and uninterested. Yes, that was his girl. Before he could reach her though, Hope grabbed her and seemed to be encouraging excitement as she yanked her toward the front. He growled under his breath. Hope put a hand on her hip, showing off her lean bikini-clad body, her flirtatious laugh bouncing off the surface of the infinity pool as she said something to a blonde boy. His core went cold. Hope hadn't so much as blinked in the direction of another boy since coupling up with Noah, and even she was unable to resist a cheeky flirt.

Could Lili's head turn just as easily?

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” the blonde guy said. “I actually did come in second place in Thor look-alike contest.”

Bobby leaned in to get a better look at the new guys. Whoa. They were show material, all right. The Thor look-alike said his name was Henrik and he was a survival instructor. He had long blonde waves and a smattering of pale freckles on his nose that spoke of a lot of time spent outdoors, and ropy lean muscles that came from rock climbing. 

The other guy stepped forward and introduced himself. Lucas. Jesus. Not only was he a physiotherapist, but he looked like a Korean model. Like every other guy there, he was taller than Bobby, and had muscles on top of his muscles. But he wasn’t brawny like Gary, instead he was somehow both ripped and lean. His black hair was gelled high and his dark eyes glinted with something like danger. And that danger was fixed on Lili as he spoke. 

Fek.

“You have the most posh accent, I’ve ever heard,” Priya said, eyeing him hungrily. 

Lucas flushed and muttered something about private schools. 

So, he had money too. Greeeeeat. 

Bobby shuffled into the crowd and bumped his hip against Lili’s. “Hey you.” 

She grinned and nearly blinded him with her smile. 

“You’ve got to stop doing that, lass,” he murmured.

“Stop doing what?”

“Being so beautiful.”

Her eyes softened and she flushed prettily. “That’s such a line.”

“It’s the truth.”

Gary, taking charge of introductions, put his hands on his hips. “The poolside ain’t the place to have this conversation. Let’s go to the fire pit where there’s seats and stuff.” 

Alright. Time to see what the boys were about. Bobby grinned and stepped forward. “You lads are in for a right _ grilling _.” He paused and they didn’t react. “Get it?” 

Henrik’s brow furrowed. “No.” 

Lottie shook her head. “Oh my days, Bobby.” 

“Grilling! Because it’s a fire pit and you’re going to be asked a bunch more questions…” 

Lucas walked over and smacked him on the back. “Well done. You know what they say? Jokes are always at their funniest when they need explaining.” 

“Aren’t they just?” he said, refusing to take the bait. 

Lucas smirked. “Indeed. Have a cookie.” 

“Yes! I love cookies!” 

Henrik perked up. “Are there cookies?” 

Well, he might not be able to compete with Henrik’s looks, but he definitely had the larger brain. “No, Thor Junior. No.” 

Lili looped her arm through Bobby’s. “I thought it was funny babe.” 

“That’s because you’re an angel and I don’t deserve you.” 

“Well as long as you remember that, I’ll keep laughing at your jokes.” She kissed his cheek. “Come on!” She sprinted on ahead of him and Priya leaned down to whisper in her ear. Whatever she said made Lili giggle.

Everyone sat but there wasn’t enough room. Hope ended up on Noah’s lap in order to make space. Instead of sitting with Marisol, Gary parked himself between Lucas and Henrik like an anxious blonde boulder. 

Bobby patted the space beside him. “Babe, come sit with me.” 

Both Lucas and Henrik eyed Lili, and Lucas gestured her over to the narrow spot he’d kept empty. Lili gave him a smile and shook her head, before sitting beside Bobby, scooting in tight so she wouldn’t fall off the bench. Relief washed through him and he put his arm around her, pulling her into a cuddle. 

Gary started it off, asking the big question. “What’s your usual type?” 

“Straight to the point with you, eh? Lucas said. 

Henrik smiled. “I like a girl that’s outgoing, adventurous, doesn’t take herself too seriously.” Everybody glanced at Lottie who pretended to look like she wasn’t chuffed. 

“What about you, erm, other guy?” Gary asked. Everyone chuckled. 

“Lucas,” the guy said, barely cracking a smile. He seemed like a snob. Good. That seemed like something Lili would dislike. Then again, he’d only known her for a handful of days. Was that enough time for him to really know what she wanted? She’d told him that she didn’t have a type. But wasn’t a wealthy, handsome physio everyone’s type?

He thought about what he knew about her. She wasn’t outdoorsy. She taught dance classes and worked with children. She loved French toast, could shoot baking puns from the hip, and was endlessly positive. She had a sharp sense of humor and great taste in clothes. She liked cupcakes and freckles. 

Ha. Lucas didn’t have freckles. Score one for team Scotsman.

“But yeah, my type? I guess I’m used to girls who have a more decent taste but who also don’t take themselves too seriously. I like optimism and a lot of energy. And someone who knows what they want from life. Education, and being able to hold her own with me conversationally is important.”

Bobby looked at Lili. She turned his way and whispered. “It sounds like he’s going to like Hope!” 

Lucas’s eyes roamed over Lili as her head was turned. 

Yeah no. Not Hope. 

“Good sense of humor is a big one. Someone who can make me laugh. And who knows how to dress-to-impress. I like blondes usually, can’t lie,” Lucas continued.

Blondes. Yes. Lili wasn’t a blonde. She was very much not that. 

“But I don’t stick to some rigid format.” 

Less yes. 

“Oh! It could be Marisol, she’s classy like,” Lilli whispered. 

He searched her eyes for a joke, but sincerity shone back. Could she really not see herself in the woman Lucas was describing? 

“Alright, alright, that was an easy question,” Gary rubbed his hands on his thighs. “Who else has one?” 

Bobby screwed up his lips and raised his hand. “Oh oh!” 

“Yeah, Bobs?” Gary grinned.

“What’re your numbers?” It was a question that was designed to make someone either uncomfortable or boastful. 

Priya clapped. “Ooh, spicy!” 

Henrik looked confused. “Why do you need that?” 

“Because it’s fun,” Priya said. 

“What’s wrong?” Gary asked. “Are you a little ashamed?” 

Henrik shrugged. No, it’s fine. It’s zero…” Everyone shifted in shock. “seven, eight, four, one…” 

Marisol leaned in. “Wait, which one is it?” 

“Mate,” Gary said. “Are you giving us your phone number?” 

Beside him, Lili was silently losing it. She clearly didn’t want to hurt Henrik’s feelings so her body shook with her swallowed laughter. He nudged her and it only made it worse. She firmly smashed her lips together and breathed through her nose, which made him start laughing quietly as well. 

Once Lucas explained that they meant sexual partners, Thor Junior looked bummed. “Oh. How could I be so oblivious?” He paused. “It was a joke!” He laughed heartily and everyone else joined in. 

Bobby clapped. “Good one! But your delivery was maybe a tad too serious. I missed the sarcasm.”

“Sarcasm’s hard,” Henrik said. “Anyway, it’s thirteen for me.” 

“Whoa,” Lili said softly. 

Bobby gave her ear a kiss. “What?” 

“That’s a lot isn’t it?” She looked at him with innocent eyes. “It seems like a lot.” 

He stilled. She was a girl who took things slow. Didn’t she say that she doesn’t usually even kiss until the fifth date? She would run the other way if she knew _ his _ numbers. He could only imagine the disgust in her eyes. It made his chest ache to think about it. 

“What about you Lucas?” Bobby said suddenly, not wanting to talk about his own past. 

“Well, I hate to kiss and tell, and this seems a tad vulgar…” he trailed off looking uncomfortable. 

Lili leaned forward. “You don’t have to say if you don’t want to.” 

Bobby frowned at her, but Lucas gave her a big, relieved smile. 

Gary wasn’t having it. “What? Where’s the fun in that? Tell us!” 

Lucas sighed. “Very well. My magic number is seven.” 

Seven? Only seven? Almost everyone bobbed their heads from side to side in a, “Not bad, not great” gesture. 

Lili gave Lucas a warm smile that iced up Bobby’s veins. “There’s nothing wrong with taking time to get to know someone.” 

“Exactly,” Lucas said. “It’s a respectable number. I’m not the sort of guy who beds everything that walks.” He gave Gary a hard glare and then looked pointedly at Bobby. 

Fek. He must have seen the first day conversation the guys had about their numbers. Gary’s was insane at over three-hundred women. Though Bobby’s numbers were nowhere near Gary’s, they were higher than he was comfortable admitting. Those few years after losing his virginity had been a blur of drunken one-night stands, all to prove something that no one asked him to prove. 

That he was attractive. 

That he could pull. 

That he wasn’t pathetic. 

The irony being that his motivations _ were _pathetic. 

Lili tilted her head towards him, but he couldn’t meet her gaze. 

“So guys…time for the big question,” Noah said stoically. “Who do you fancy?” He addressed it to both guys but his eyes were planted on Lucas. 

“Noah! You actually spoke!” Bobby said, needing to lean into the subject change.

“I do when I have something to say.” 

He wriggled his eyebrows at him. “I’d forgotten how silky-smooth your voice was.” 

“Settle down, Bobby,” he said, looking unamused. Though, to be fair, Noah rarely looked amused by anything, so Bobby didn’t take offense. 

“Anyway, boys, who do you fancy?” Noah repeated.

Lucas leaned with his arms on his knees. “I’ll go first. For me, it’s got to be Lili.” She stilled beside Bobby and looked a little confused. Lucas pierced her with intense eyes. “You’re definitely the type of woman I go for, and I’d love to get to know you better.” 

She gave a little smile that said nothing and slipped closer to Bobby, giving him a smooch on the cheek that warmed him.

Lucas looked a little disappointed. Good. 

Gary smiled. “Ouch, tough break, mate. You may find it hard to separate us. We’re a tight bunch.” 

“That’s alright. I like a challenge.” He swept his eyes over Bobby before chuckling and clapping Gary hard on the back. 

The initial relief he felt at the press of her lips quickly dissipated. Even if she were interested, Lili wasn’t the type to flirt with someone else in front of him. 

Even if she wanted to.

“Well, I’m definitely into Lottie,” Henrik said. “She’s my type all over.” 

Lottie failed to hide her smile. Rocco put his arm around her and hugged her close. “You’ll have to get through me first.” He seemed a bit unsure, which was odd. Rocco was usually too _ in tune with the universe _ to be anything less than confident. 

“Well boys, looks like you’ve got some competition,” Gary said. “You prepared for it, Bobby?” 

“Always,” he said, feigning a smile. When the attention shifted away, and everyone started to disperse, he looked down, already feeling defeated. He couldn’t compete with a guy like Lucas, not in a million years. 

Lili pressed her fingers to his forehead and smoothed the space between his eyebrows. “You’re scowling,” she said softly.

“I’m not. Never done that in my life.”

She stared into his eyes, as if searching for something. He shifted anxiously and broke her gaze, looking over her shoulder at the Spanish hills beyond the villa. Sighing, she took his hand, sliding her fingers between his. She squeezed and released a few times, as if she were keeping time with the cadence of his heart. 

Finally she stopped squeezing. “I think we need to have a chat.”

His chest tightened. This was it. She was going to tell him she wanted to see how things went with Lucas. She was going to tell him she’d rather just be friends. She was going to tell him that she wanted someone who took their time and wasn’t a pathetic jokester with a hospital caterer’s salary. 

She stood, still holding his hand and led him to the seating area behind the kitchen. It was the most private place in the yard, but on the show it was usually referred to as The Breakup Bench. 

It didn’t bode well. 

Her hair was loosely pulled into a puffy ponytail and some of her curls had made an escape. She pushed them behind her ears. “I saw the way you looked back there and I realize that I probably sounded judgmental about Henrik’s numbers. I want to apologize about that.”

That wasn’t what he was expecting. “No, I was--”

“Please let me just...um, this kind of stuff is so removed from my life that sometimes I forget that other people go to clubs and hook up. You’re so fit and fun. I’m sure you’ve probably…” she twisted her hands in her lap. “You’re probably a lot more experienced than I am. But that’s nothing to be ashamed of, and I hope I didn't make you feel like it was.”

Oh, it was something to be ashamed of. He doubted she’d be so understanding if she actually knew. “My number is a bit high,” he said slowly. 

She looked away for a moment as if she were debating how to respond. “You don’t have to tell me. It’s not my business anyhow and it won’t change anything.”

“It might.” He squeezed her hand and steadied himself. “I lost my virginity kind of late. For a few years I was out every weekend gettin’ blitzed and hooking up. It got pretty out of hand. I’ve slowed down a lot in the last year and a half but--” he sighed. “Best I can estimate my number is around…eighty-seven.”

She sucked in her breath. “That’s--”

“I know. It’s a lot. I understand if you…” he clutched her hand tighter.

“I--” she blinked rapidly and gave a wobbly laugh that sounded more apprehensive than mirthful. “Um, it’s higher than I imagined. A bit higher. But uh, I don’t uh, I don’t judge that stuff. I mean I have no basis for what is even normal.” Her words tumbled out quickly, landing on top of each other like rocks in an avalanche. “I can’t lie, I’m a little intimidated.” She gave another laugh that didn’t feel like a laugh. The ground held her gaze, and part of him was relieved. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to look her in the eye. 

She didn’t want him now. She probably wanted someone more like her. Someone who took their time. Like Lucas.

“We’ve uh, been moving fast. And I just think I should tell you that mine is...it’s one.”

“One what? Are you giving me your phone number too, lass?” She didn’t laugh and it took his brain a moment to catch up. “One...oh your number is _ one _?”

She swung her gaze away again. “Yes. One.” Her cheeks turned berry red. “I’ve only had one boyfriend. We dated for a while.” 

“Only one,” he said again. No wonder she was so horrified by what he’d told her. 

She was silent for a moment. “Well, nearly two if you count the gorgeous guy that I almost shagged against a refrigerator one time.” Her voice was artificially high and chipper. 

She was definitely reconsidering her options. Had to be. His arsenal was limited but maybe he could win her back over with humor. He had that. “The refrigerator guy probably seduced you with his smouldering gaze.” He gave her exaggerated bedroom eyes and tried to smirk at the same time. 

“You look like you have to sneeze!” Her chirp of laughter was the first genuine one she’d had since the fire pit.

“Yeah, that’s part of my seduction technique. Cupcakes and sneeze-faces.” He pulled her close, eager to kiss her. To remind her of the fire that seemed to catch whenever they were near. 

“There you are!” Priya rushed to them, her heels clicking on the pavers. “Lili, I was hoping we could have a chat on the daybeds. We need to _ talk _ .” With the weighty emphasis on the word, There was no doubt what she wanted to _ talk _about. 

Lili shot to her feet, as if eager to escape their conversation. “Sure. Yeah. I’ll walk with you.”

She gave him a smile that didn’t meet her eyes. “We’ll finish our chat later, yeah?”

What else was there to say? He frowned at the thought of her asking more questions about his years of misbehavior. Judging him. “Weren’t we done?” 

She opened her mouth and closed it a few times, and her brows drew together. “Um, yeah, I guess we are.” 

He sat motionless as she disappeared with Priya. Maybe if he didn’t move, he wouldn’t trigger the sharp ache that he knew was waiting in his chest. “Fucking eejit,” he whispered. He’d never told anyone about when he lost his virginity. Or about the regret he felt for his behavior after. In just a few sentences, he bared more than he ever had with any girl. And now she could barely look at him. 

He took a shuddering breath and rubbed his chest. The ache was there whether he moved or not. So he forced himself to his feet and caught up with the tour, hoping it would distract him. 

It didn’t. Instead it went on forever, with Gary giving unnecessary soliloquies about things like the dressing room vanity and the weird globe lights in the bedroom. And every time Lucas made a joke or comment about something, Bobby felt his hackles rise. 

_ Girl-stealing horse’s ass. _

“Look at these tiles here,” Gary said, sweeping his hand around the loo. “That’s real limestone. Now limestone has an interesting history.”

Annnnnd done. Bobby couldn’t take another second. He quietly backed away from the group and retreated downstairs. Outside, he took in a few gulps of fresh air. 

Priya and Lili had never joined the tour. They were still on the daybeds, their heads close together as they chatted. Lili looked like a goddess in the morning sunlight and the ache in his chest turned into jabs of burning pain. 

He snuck by without being noticed and went to the kitchen. Taking his time, he made three steaming mugs of tea and carried them with ease to the daybed. The girls stopped speaking when he approached and he feigned a cheerful demeanor. “Sorry to interrupt but I realized that no one had made a brew yet. So here you go!” He handed one to Priya, who took it eagerly. 

“Thanks, Bobby! It’s still cool enough out here to drink this.” 

“Yeah, though I drink tea when it’s hot. I mean, I’m from Glasgow. For me, it’s like walking on the sun itself right now. May as well still enjoy a brew.” He turned. “And for the beautiful Lili.” He handed her the pink mug she seemed to gravitate toward every morning.

There was a new reserve in her eyes that hurt him, but she still took the drink. “Thank you so much.” She took a sip and a joyous Lili smile, bright and wide, stole across her face. “Oh my goodness, it’s perfect!”

“I’ve been watching you make your brews for a few days and I finally figured them out. Earl Grey. More milk than water. And a ton of sugar since--” he softened his voice and raised it, attempting her lilting Scouser accent. “Whatchya mean, there’s no sugar-free vanilla syrup? How am I supposed to live, like?”

Her nose crinkled up as she laughed. “An excellent impression of me being an absolute twat.”

“Not at all. You’re just particular about your sugar milk with a touch of tea in it.” She stuck her tongue out at him and for a moment everything felt right again. 

“Well thank you for this. You spoil me.”

He wanted to reach for her. Stroke her cheek, touch her hair. Tell her he’d spoil her all summer long. But there was a space between them now that hadn’t been there before and he couldn’t tell if he’d created it or if she had, but it was there all the same. He swallowed and smiled at her. “I’d better get back to the Gary Tour Bus.” 

“Aren’t you going to ask us what we’re talking about?” Priya said. 

Nope. He so wasn’t bothered about that. He wasn’t dying inside to know what Lili was thinking. Nope nope nope. He smiled. “I assume it’s about the new boys, right? What your opinions about them are is none of my business. I just wanted to bring you a cup of tea. Enjoy.” 

Walking away, he felt their eyes on him. Priya whispered something he couldn’t hear and giggled. Lili gave a warm sweet sigh. 

He hoped it was for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read this. You give me life 💓 If you like what I do, leave me kudos or a comment or throw me a tweet @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are my preferred currencies. 
> 
> Thank you to my critiquers and sisters from other misters, Mon, Jolene, and Prim. You bring me sunshine, laughter, and better prose 🌞💖


	21. No Comfort in the Shade of the Shadows Thrown

“So that’s why I think my hands are so good, basically,” Bobby said, turning his hands outward toward Lili and Priya later that afternoon. “Good symmetry either side of the middle finger, immaculate cuticles, and no conspicuous scars _ despite _ how much time I spend around hot ovens.”

“You really could be a hand model,” Lili said as she sat between his legs on the lounger.

He beamed at her. Things seemed to have righted themselves after he brought her tea. Nothing like a brew to bring someone close. She’d been downright cuddly ever since.

“Henrik should become a hand model too,” Priya said dreamily as she stretched out on her lounger. 

“Why? Does he have nice hands?” Bobby asked, irritated that someone else might usurp his—admittedly niche—title of _ Best Hands in the Villa _. He didn’t mean to be mingy with the accolades, but he wasn’t getting any awards for his abs or arms around there, so his hands were all he had. 

“I don’t know. But he’s just kind of perfect in general. I’d go for him over Ibrahim any day.” She winced at her words and lifted up her sunglasses. “Sorry, Lili, that was—”

“It’s fine,” she said. “Sometimes you don’t know until you’ve spent some time with someone, whether it feels like it could go the distance. What’s put you off of Rahim?”

Priya looked around and then leaned closer to them. “He’s sweet, but he keeps everything so close. I don’t mind talking about superheros and golf, but at some point, I’d like him to talk about something that matters. I know he likes getting up to stuff with me, but I have no idea where he stands with us beyond that. For all I know he’s miserable. It’s not like he’d tell me.”

Lili nodded and said nothing, but he noticed an odd tension creep into her shoulders, but it left as quickly as it arrived. 

“Anyway, I don’t know what to do about that. When I’ve tried to bring it up, he shuts down and tells me he has to work out.” Her lower lip jutted out for a moment but she tucked it back in. “What about you Lili? Would you choose Henrik, or Lucas?”

Lili made a face. “I’m not really about either of them, to be honest. They’re nice, but…” she shrugged. “Why trade-in when you already have an Aston Martin?”

Bobby laughed and pulled her backwards into his chest and gave her a squeeze. “Is that what I am?”

“You move fast, you’ve got a beautiful design, and I like the sound you make when I rev ya,” she said with a laugh.

Yeah right. He appreciated her talking him up, but he was barely a Ford Fiesta, let alone an Aston Martin. 

Priya rolled her eyes. “All the more for me. Lucas seems like a man who would understand my love language.”

Yes. Lucas and Priya. Bobby let his hopes rise like bread dough. Priya was aggressive when she wanted something. Maybe she’d work her magic and make Lucas forget about Lili. He fully supported that.

“I’ve already told you that diamonds aren’t a love language,” Lili said, teasingly.

“Yes they are! They’re gifts. Gifts _ are _ a love language,” Priya said. She leaned up on one elbow. “Ugh, you’re always so above it all. What’s your love language? Donations to charities? Volunteering at soup kitchens? Fair Trade stickers?”

Lili snorted and cuddled into Bobby’s arms. “I’d punch you in the tit, but I’m comfortable right now.”

Priya let out an inelegant squawk of laughter. “I paid a lot of money for these. Punch me somewhere that won’t cost a fortune to fix.”

“Nope. You’re getting a tit punch.”

“Boy, you’ve really got people fooled into thinking you’re the villa sweetheart.”

“I never claimed to be anything of the sort. I say fuck an awful lot to be anyone’s sweetheart. And I’ve called Bobby a bellend twice.”

“Twice? I only remember the one time,” Bobby said. 

“Oh yeah. The other time was in my head.”

He let go of her. “Okay, no more cuddles for you.”

She laughed and sat up. A phone pinged. Priya picked hers up and stared at it. Her eyes widened and she sat up. “Guys, I got a text!” 

Everyone came running. 

“‘Islanders, new boys Lucas and Henrik have each chosen three girls to take on dates. The first girls chosen are…’”

Hope’s phone beeped. “Oh my gosh, it’s me! I’m going for a drink with Lucas!”

Still sitting between his knees, Lili’s phone pinged as well. She read the message slowly. “I’m going on a date with Henrik.” She looked more puzzled than excited.

What was that about? She'd been shocked earlier when Lucas said he was interested too. Why would any of this surprise her? She knew her worth, didn't she? Lili was still looking at her phone and Bobby studied the planes of her heartbreakingly beautiful face. The longer he looked at her, the dizzier he got, as if he were dropping from a great height, his heart plummeting into his stomach like an ice covered rock. She was smart and gorgeous and funny. Pure perfect. And for some reason she was with him. No. Not for some reason. The only reason. 

Because she didn't know she could do better. 

Fuck. That hurt. 

Hope grabbed her arm. “Yes! Let’s go get ready!”

Lili looked his way. He gave her an encouraging smile as Hope dragged her away. 

He searched for—and held onto—his chill. It was Henrik. He was way too dumb for Lili and she was definitely not his type. Bobby didn’t know everything about her, but he knew that she was frightened of bugs and hated camping. He couldn’t imagine her doing survival training. She’d perish without cupcakes and a place to plug in her iPod. Nothing to worry about there. 

He didn’t see her before she left, so while she was gone, he had plenty of time to not worry. He tried talking to the boys but they were in a panic over the new guys and just wanted to talk about ways to solidify their relationships. So he wandered over to Marisol who was sitting at the edge of the pool, beside Priya and Lottie. 

“Look at all these gorgeous ladies and only one Bobby to snog them all,” he announced. 

Lottie laughed and patted the space between herself and Marisol. He sat and dipped his legs in the cool water. “What are you lot talking about? Please don’t say the dates.”

“Dates,” Lottie said. “Sorry.”

Bobby sighed and flopped onto his back. She patted his forehead. 

Priya cleared her throat. “Noah didn’t look very upset about Hope going out with Lucas, did he?”

“No,” Marisol said. “But to be fair, I suspect if the villa caught fire Noah still wouldn’t change expressions. He’s such an interesting case.”

Lottie flopped backward, matching Bobby’s pose. “Who else do you think will get a date?”

“You,” Priya answered, as she stretched like a lioness. “Henrik said he had his eye on you. And I might get one as well. It felt like Lucas gave me a few looks.” 

“And how is Bobby feeling?” Marisol asked. “Lili’s out with Henrik, right?”

He snapped on a grin he didn’t feel. “Yep. She’s a lovely girl, of course he’d want to get to know her.”

“You’re not worried?” Priya asked.

Marisol poked Bobby’s shoulder. “I heard someone say that Lili said she’d be up for it with either of the new guys.”

A sick thumping began in Bobby’s forehead. She wouldn’t say that. Never. Even if she was interested, she wasn’t cruel. Refusing to give that another gram of his thoughts, he summoned up a smirk. “Nah. Lili’s not pie-ing me off for a rock climber. She likes my cupcakes too much.”

Lottie snorted. “Is that what you’re calling them?” 

“I’m glad you’re so confident,” Marisol interrupted. “Gary is freaking out.”

“Rocco too,” Lottie said with a nod. “He’s a little more territorial than I expected for someone who grafts on anything that moves. It’s annoying.” 

Bobby tried to dredge up his usual ire for jealousy and any all forms of territorialism, but it no longer felt authentic. He’d been a jealous mess from the moment he’d met Lili. Shame filled him. 

“Rahim is Rahim,” Priya said. I can’t tell how he feels. I think if either of them ask me out he might get jealous. Maybe.” Just then, her phone pinged. “Guess we’ll find out. Lucas asked me on a date!” She laughed as her phone pinged again. “And so did Henrik! Yes!” She shot up and raced inside without a backward glance. 

Marisol shook her head with a smile. “She’s excited isn’t she?”

“And shameless.” Lottie frowned. “That girl has no sense of loyalty.”

“Oh don’t start,” Marisol said. 

He laid there for a few minutes while they argued. If Henrik asked Lili out, then Lucas was bound to. Henrik only bothered him a little. But Lucas. Ugh. He folded his arms beneath his head and tried to think of something fun to do that wouldn’t involve thinking about dates. Or jealousy. Or—

“Lili!” Lottie said. 

Bobby sat up and watched her walk through the villa, his heart pounding. She jiggled sexily beneath her low-cut mini dress. The stark whiteness of the fabric glowed against her skin and he could only imagine how blinded Henrik was by her. 

He fought his desire to sweep her into his arms, demanding to know how the date went. He wouldn’t make her feel guilty for having a good time without him and he wouldn’t be so eager she’d be frightened away. So instead, he got up and jogged toward her, carefree as he could pretend to be. 

As he approached, she smiled wide and his heart clanged like church bells. What if she had a good time? What if it turned out that she and Henrik had loads in common? 

Fuck. Somehow he had to break free from the monster of jealousy that consumed him. He couldn’t allow his wayward emotions to manipulate or trap Lili into staying with him. She had to want it. 

But honestly, why would she?

“Hey babe! What’d I miss while I was gone?”

He shrugged. “Just a lot of chat about the new boys, and who is their type, and blah blah blah. Nothing interesting.”

She nodded and studied him. He shifted uncomfortably. “Er, I’m working on something though.”

“What?”

His brain ping ponged all over the place, searching for an answer. “Pranks!”

Oh Jesus. 

Intent on avoiding date talk, he dragged her into the villa to play the worst practical joke of all time. He made it up as he went along, detailing how he’d mix up Rocco and Henrik’s clothes.

Even Lili’s implacable cheerfulness cracked. “Is that it?”

Maybe he wasn’t as good at improvising as he thought. “I mean it’s not my greatest prank, but it should work, right?”

“I mean, maybe?”

He convinced her to keep a lookout for anyone coming in while he rearranged the clothes, feeling sillier by the minute. 

“Alright,” he said when he was done. “Now we play the waiting game.”

Lili gave a soft laugh and shook her head. “Your diabolical plan needs more diabolical...ness.”

There was such warmth glowing out of her, despite his idiot prank. He reached for her hand. 

Ding! She grabbed her phone and he let his hand drop. She bit her lip as she skimmed the screen. “Oh. Um, Lucas invited me on his final date.”

He feigned a big smile. Be cool. “Wow. You’ve got another date? Go you!”

She was silent a moment. “I—I don’t think I’m gonna go. I’m not feeling it.”

Was she just saying that for his sake? Pretending to not want it so he wouldn’t feel bad? Or did she mean it? Either way he should have just shut up but his mouth ran ahead of his brain as usual. “You serious? You should go!”

Her dark eyes held a wariness that worried him. “Bobby, we’re coupled up.” She said each word slowly as if he didn’t understand them. “You shouldn’t encourage me to go on dates with other guys.”

“I don’t care about stuff like that,” he said. “Just going on a date with a bloke doesn’t mean you’re going to immediately fall deeply in love and forget about me, right? You should go and enjoy yourself.”

There was a bruised look in her eyes he didn’t quite understand. But she blinked it away, squared her shoulders, and gave him her high wattage smile. The pageant smile that rivaled his jokester one for sheer artifice. 

Anxiety shot through his nerve endings, making his fingers tingle. She faked that smile for other people. Not for him. 

“Alright,” she said. “I guess I’ll see you later.” She leaned over and gave him a cool kiss on the cheek, before turning sharply on her heel. He watched her go, his heart bleeding.

She wasn’t shining. 

The halo of bright warmth she wore like a second skin was gone. In its place was a fog of wintry gray that frosted the air around her. As the front door of the villa slammed behind her, he shivered. The chill remained long after she’d left. 

The thick gray fog stubbornly clung to him like old cobwebs even as he sunned himself in the yard. He rubbed at his arms, realizing that the fog wasn’t hers. It never was.

It was his.

And his fog had choked out her warm light, leaving them both in the cold, and leaving Bobby searching hopelessly for where he’d gone wrong.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, if you like what I do, leave me kudos or a comment or throw me a tweet @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are my preferred currencies.
> 
> And thanks to Mon, Jolene, and Prim. I require a lot of support and you three are the best bras I've ever put on 💓👙


	22. Got Scared When the Lights Went Low

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little steamy. Viewer discretion is advised.

There was a welcome party for Henrik and Lucas that night. Buckets of champagne on ice decorated spindly lawn tables. Electronica thumped from the speakers. The garden glowed with neon sculptures and hanging lights pulsing in time to music. 

But that was the only thing that glowed. 

Bobby pretended to sip his champagne so he could look at Lili. Marisol and Hope were animatedly discussing a true crime podcast they both loved. Lili stood with them, nodding, but not contributing to the conversation. In fact, she’d been nearly silent since she returned from her date with Lucas. 

Which was fine as he’d been avoiding her.

He’d been trying to sort her out in his head all afternoon. She was unhappy after he’d told her about his numbers. But then he brought her tea and afterward she’d been so sweet, stroking his arms, holding his hand, like she couldn’t get enough of his touch. But when she left for that date, things went pear-shaped. She’d been upset when he told her to have fun. Should he not have said that? He wasn’t sure what she wanted, and he hated not knowing how to clear out his fog and bring back her warm light. 

So when she returned he stayed out of her way.

Priya gave him a questioning look and gripped his arm, dragging him into the fray. Lili looked over at him and then her gaze slipped away. 

“Rahim’s making drinks over at the bar,” Priya said. “Come get a drink with me, Marisol. You too, Hope!” She yanked them away, leaving him alone with Lili. _ Dammit, Priya. _

He cleared his throat. “Lil, you are looking as hot as gas mark 10.” 

She smoothed the skirt of her strappy black dress. “Thank you,” she said, her voice falsely chipper. 

He took a step closer to her, wanting so badly to cross the icy bridge that separated them. “I was—”

“Hey!” Rocco clapped him on the shoulder. “How are your stars aligning, Bobby?”

Pure perfect. Just what he wanted to discuss. 

Lili looked around, as if searching for an escape. Suddenly she waved her arm. “Come join us!” Bobby barely held onto his cheerful smile as Henrik and Lucas jogged over, showering Lili in grateful smiles. Well. That was just great.

For ages, it felt like, Henrik gibbered about rock climbing, while Rocco looked more and more put out that he was no longer the villa’s only adventurous hippy. It turned into a dick measuring contest between them, which Henrik won by nattering on about climbing giant boulders and nearly killing himself for the fun of it. 

Lili appeared a bit bored by the whole thing. Maybe that dumb prank he pulled earlier could do some good and make her smile. He was absolutely willing to look like an idiot for one of her smiles. So he shifted dramatically, and bit his lip, looking antsy-in-the- pantsy until Rocco gave him a confused look. “Are you alright?”

“Notice anything different about yourselves?” He shifted his gaze back and forth between Rocco and Henrik. They both shrugged. “I switched your underwear around when you weren’t looking! You’re wearing each other’s pants!” He laughed like an unstable hyena. 

No one joined him. Until Lili gave an amused snort. “It’s not going viral anytime soon.”

“I was under pressure!” 

“Well we didn’t fall for it,” Rocco said. 

Henrik smiled. “We just thought they’d changed our cupboards round.”

“Obviously we’re not going to accidentally wear clothes that are not ours.” Rocco shook his head. 

“Ah well.” Bobby caught Lili’s eye. “Lili smiled. So it worked.”

She shook her head fondly. Beside him, Lucas shifted his gaze between them, his full lips bent into a frown. Bobby longed to pull Lili into his arms. But they hadn’t touched each other since she returned and he didn’t want to seem possessive now. 

So he didn’t touch her. Not then. Not when Lucas talked about his charity work and Lili lit up and they started commiserating about the rewards of it. And not when Lucas complimented her on how impressive it was that she had two master’s degrees. 

He stilled. Two master’s degrees? Lili flushed at Lucas’s compliment and Bobby’s jealousy roared to life. Why didn’t he know that? Why did Lucas? 

His voice of reason pushed to the forefront. _ Because he asked and you didn’t. _

True. He hadn’t dug too deeply into Lili, waiting for her to share what she wanted without him having to feel too needy for being interested. It usually worked in the past. Girls tended to feel comfortable enough to share things with him, but Lili always held a piece of herself back. Beneath the smile was an acquired wariness from years of hurt.

_ But she told Lucas _, his jealousy hissed.

Of course. Why wouldn’t she? They were both smart and well-educated. It’s not like she could talk to him about college. He’d barely completed secondary school.

Priya wandered near and caught his eye, jerking her head toward a table. He excused himself and joined her, leaving Lili with Henrik, Rocco, and the horse’s ass.

Priya leaned over the table and fiddled with the bowl of crisps. “What are you doing?” she asked quietly.

“Nothing. What are you doing?”

“Watching you mess up.” 

“Can you be more specific? That’s pretty standard for me.”

She grabbed a crisp and took a nibble. “You should be over there with your arm around Lili.”

“You called me over!” 

“You were standing five feet away from her, Bobby.”

He shrugged. “I don’t own her.”

“No but you could act like you like her, you know.”

“I do like her. Too much. You know I do. I’m just not the jealous type.” 

“Hm.” Her look suggested she didn’t believe him. 

They watched as Henrik and Rocco walked off, leaving Lucas and Lili alone, chatting amiably. 

“Did she say something to you?” he asked after a moment.

Priya brushed the salt off her hands. “It doesn’t matter if she did or didn’t. All you need to know is that sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between playing it cool and seeming indifferent.”

Lucas looked almost shy as he whispered something to Lili and pointed at the villa. She nodded and followed him inside without a backward glance. Probably going up to the terrace to talk privately. Or to snog. Touch. Make love.  
  
Bobby swallowed and looked away toward the pool. The night was still and warm, but he shivered as a cold sweat broke out all over his body. A mortifying ache pressed behind his eyes and he blinked it away. It was fine. She deserved someone like Lucas. Someone worthy of her. 

“Priya!” Ibrahim called from the cocktail bar.

“Come on,” she said. “Let’s see what Rahim’s up to.”

He shook his head. “Give me a moment.”

She patted his shoulder and left him to his brooding. _ It’s hard to tell the difference between playing it cool and seeming indifferent. _

Is that what he’d been doing? Seeming indifferent? He thought back to their conversation before Lili’s date. She’d looked hurt when he pushed her to go and then he’d said what? _ I don’t care about stuff like that. _Wasn’t that the right way to handle it? He’d put no pressure on her, no guilt to trap her in the thick web of his emotions. 

From where he stood he could see Lili and Lucas standing on the terrace. He couldn’t see their faces, but he saw him tuck a strand of Lili’s hair behind her ear as they spoke. Pain, jagged and bright, slid between his ribs. It wasn’t lovemaking, or even a snog, but it still mattered. Before Bobby had ever kissed her, he and Lili had an intensity that made every small gesture feel vulnerable and meaningful. Just stroking a soft curl was enough to make his heart quake. Holding her hand made lights pop in his head like champagne bubbles. Looking into her dark eyes made him feel like he was falling, then floating, then falling again. Endlessly tumbling from trembling anxiety to the warmest softest comfort.

It didn’t have to be a snog to mean something. 

They were only up there a minute or two, but it felt as though it went on forever. Finally, Lili nodded and walked away, leaving Lucas by himself. She emerged from the villa a moment later and stood at the doorway, her arms wrapped around her middle. She stared up at the sky and took a shuddering breath. Then she straightened her shoulders as if gathering her resolve and headed for the bar. 

That bright, now blazing pain made its way past his ribs and straight into his chest. She was going to tell him they were over. And he knew it was his fault, even though he still wasn’t sure why. 

Bobby pushed past the dramatics of his unruly emotions. It was fine. Nothing to get so upset about. What he felt was just an infatuation—an intense one— but still. It wasn't meant to last. He was just a temporary pleasure. Like a good cupcake. You didn’t keep a cupcake around forever. You devoured it, licked your lips, threw the colourful liner away, and then a moment or two later, you forgot that you even ate it. 

The time had come to accept that.   
  
While he didn’t like confrontation, and usually managed it with humor, he also didn’t like drowning in uncertainty. The contradiction made his ex call him _ Captain Conundrum _. But he preferred the term, problem-solver. Tapping into that part of himself, he made his way to the bar. If they were going to be nothing but friends, he wanted to know now. Pain or no pain.

Hope was laughing and nudging Lili while Gary ranted about _ The Terminator _. Ibrahim shook his head at Gary, while he made some kind of aggressively purple drink decorated with tomatoes. 

“It’s called a Violet Man.” Rahim handed one to Priya. “You wanna try it, Lili?” 

She laughed. “Sure, let’s live while we’re alive.”

“You won’t live long drinking that,” Hope said. 

Rahim poured the drink and pushed it down the countertop. Too hard. It launched to the end of the bar, nearly tumbling off. Bobby shot his hand out and caught it before it landed in Lili’s lap.

“Whoa, nice catch!” Ibrahim hollered.

“I know, I’m quite the catch,” he said with a smirk. Taking a breath he held the glass out to Lili. “Let’s go have a chat. Just the two of us. It’ll be nice to get you alone.”

She took the drink and nodded. Her eyes were guarded. He walked her out to the beanbags and slid the green one next to the pink one and offered her a hand so she could sit in the pink one. She took it, her warmth seeping into him, giving him the courage to do what he needed to do. 

“So, you can colour me curious,” he said. “Or just call me nosey. How do you feel about the new guys?”

There. Direct. Not jealous. Just curious.

She slid her shoes off and tucked her legs beneath her. “They’re nice.”

That was it. Nice. It was a dreadful word that told him nothing. “Marisol told me that one of the other girls said you’d be up for it with either of the new guys.”

Her brows drew together. “What? I never said that.”

He plowed on. “If you feel that way, it’s okay. I’d just rather you tell me.”

“I don’t feel that way and I’d like to know who is making things up about me.” She sat the glass down on the grass. “I’m not interested in them.”

“Really?”

“No, they’re not for me. Henrik is nice and funny, but he starts talking about hiking and my eyes glaze over. I’m hardly outdoorsy, am I? And Lucas is a lovely guy but he’s not…” she furrowed her brow. “He’s just not my type.”

He searched her eyes for lies and there were none to be found. “Lucas is everyone’s type isn’t he? I mean, even I would say yes if he asked me to dinner.”

No laugh. Her grim expression didn’t change and she continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “I think we’ll be good mates, but he’s...he’s not terribly sincere. Too many lines. Too much game.”

Relief coursed through him. No competition there. Maybe. 

“Listen,” she said, suddenly. “I get what this is about and I… I’m just going to say what needs to be said.”

“Okay.” He nodded, his pulse pounding in his ears. 

She raised her chin and fixed him with distant brown eyes. “If you don’t want to be with me because I don’t have enough experience for your taste, you should just come out with it. Because I don’t think it’s fair to keep throwing me at other guys hoping they’ll take care of the problem for you.”

He opened and closed his mouth, unable to even formulate a response to that. “What—what are you talking about?”

“When I told you my number you were a right git about it.”

“No I wasn’t.”

“Yes. You were. You kept saying, “Wot? Your number is one? Only one?” She sat up straighter. “I didn’t judge you. But you made me feel _ small _.” She said the word heavily. “There is nothing wrong with your choices but there is nothing wrong with mine either.” She took a breath. “This afternoon, you were so sweet to me and I thought maybe I’d imagined it. Maybe I’d overreacted. But I didn’t. You were just trying to make yourself feel better for not wanting me anymore.” Her eyes shone with unshed tears.

“That’s not—”

She held up a hand. “The minute I got the date texts, you couldn’t wait to chuck me aside.” 

“I didn’t... I don’t care how many people you’ve slept with!” He scrubbed a hand over his face, an anxious laugh burbling out of him. “I thought you were upset about my numbers and I didn’t even think about how I came across to you.” He swallowed. “I’m sorry.” He had to give her more than that, he knew he did, but words, the right ones, wouldn’t allow themselves to be spoken. 

She twisted her hands in her lap. “Really?” Doubt tinged her tone. 

“Really.” He reached over and pulled her kneading hands apart. “Time works strangely here. Everyone says it, but it’s true. You can be with someone for a few days but it feels like a month. I know we haven’t been together for long and—” He stroked her fingers. “You’re so beautiful and smart. I really want this to work. I need you to know that.” She swallowed and her eyes softened. Oh, he’d missed that look. “I don’t want you to date anyone else,” he said, relief overwhelming him. “It was never that. It’s just when I’m with you I feel a little overwhelmed. And Lucas seems more like the kind of guy you deserve...”

She slid her fingers between his. “Bobby, I’m not a perfect person, but I am a straightforward one. You haven’t known me long enough to know that. But if I liked someone else, I would tell you.” She searched his eyes. “You can ask Rahim if you want. I told him I liked you. After we’d danced. I felt I owed him that.”

“You did?” Pride unfurled inside of him, blooming like a flower after summer rain. He hadn’t known that their first time dancing on the terrace had meant as much to her as it had to him. That he had _ mattered _that much to her.

“Of course I did. It was… intimate. In a way. Anyhow, I’m rubbish at lying and keeping secrets, so I don’t bother. I’ll always tell you the truth.” She squeezed his hand. “I don’t want to go on dates with other boys right now. I know it’s early days, but I feel like there’s something here between us, more than just physical attraction. At least for me. Maybe it’s far too soon to say that, but—” she shrugged.

That fog, that horrible thick fog that had surrounded him all day, dissipated and Lili’s warmth filled the cold space it left behind. She wasn’t like his ex or like anyone he’d ever met. She was so up front, so raw in her honesty. He wanted that energy in his life. In the villa. And outside of it. 

The feeling of autumn leaves tumbling about in his chest returned, leaving him jittery. He grinned at her. “You wear your heart on your bikini strap, don’t you?”

“It’s my greatest curse,” she said. “Honest to the point of idiocy and beyond.”

“I love that about you.”

“What, that I’m an idiot?”

“No, that you call it as you see it. Even about yourself.” He opened her hand and pressed his fingertips to hers, making a steeple. “I don’t know if this is forever or just a summer romance but… I’m not ready for it to end. Especially not because of a physiotherapist with a motorbike and gelled hair.”

“Don’t forget the shark’s tooth necklace,” she said with a laugh.

“And who could forget that?” He raised her hand up and kissed the back of it. “Do you…” he hesitated. “Want to try and get some alone time? I promise I won’t rope you into another wardrobe prank.”

There was the smile he wanted. The crinkled nose. The shiny grin. “Sure.”

He helped her out of the beanbag. “You lead the way.”

She bit her lip and then gripped his hand, tugging him into the villa and up to the terrace. She took a red towel that was hanging over a cupboard door and draped it over the door handle. “Marisol’s idea,” she said. “So anyone in the dressing room knows the terrace is occupied.”

“Like a door hanger at a hotel,” he said. “Smart.”

“That’s Marisol.”

“It’s pure nice up here,” he said. The wind was cool and brushed over his skin like a soft caress. She sat down beside him. “There’s something about you. I—” A little black hair rested on her nose and he leaned forward. “You’ve got something…” He reached up and delicately pressed his finger to it, pulling it away, and showed it to her. “Eyelash. Did you know that rogue eyelashes are miniature genies?”

She shook her head amused.

“Make a wish.”

“Oh, what to choose? A cure for all diseases? Pizza for the world? Violet Man’s powers?”

“All good choices.”

She tilted her head. “I wish for… a kiss.”

“The genie requests you to be more specific,” he said.

“A kiss from you, you great knob.”

“It _ is _ great.”

Her laugh made all the leaves in his chest dance. “Shut up and kiss me, pastry chef.”

“Wish granted.” He pulled her close and let his lips glide over hers. It was a tender kiss, one that felt like reassurance. She stroked his cheek and he leaned his head against her hand as he pulled back, marveling that anyone like her could fancy him. 

“Are you alright?” she said.

“I just—” He frowned. “I know I’m all jokes and stuff when I’m around everyone. But being here with you? It… does something to me. I felt it when we first met. Like, suddenly there’s something I really care about, and I don’t want to lose it.” He thought a moment, trying to slow his babbling. “That’s you, by the way. Not that you’re a ‘thing’ or an ‘it.’”

“I’d be a miserable IT. I’m terrified of clowns.”

He laughed at her terrible joke. “So no clown kink? I’m fine with that.” He bumped his forehead against hers. “It’s mental though right? We just met five days ago.”

She bit the inside of her lip. “No. I mean yeah. It’s mental. But I feel the same. It’s too early for…” Her fingers spread across the exposed skin of his chest, over his heart which went mad, pounding so hard he was sure she could feel it. She didn’t finish her thought and he didn’t ask her to.

“With the way things work around here, we can’t make any promises can we?” he asked softly.

“It’s probably not wise.”

“Yeah. I don’t know if you’ve met yourself lately, but I definitely have some competition.”

“You really don’t. Have you met you?” 

Heat surged up his neck and across his face, tingling like a sunburn. God, the things she said to him. The way she made him feel. He looked down at his hands. On the tip of his finger, her eyelash still clung to his skin. He held it out to her.

“I already got my wish,” she said. “What’s yours?”

“Hmmm.” He jutted out his lower lip and thought for a moment. “I’d wish to perfect the choux pastry recipe. And to make the ultimate chocolate éclair. And get unlimited theater tickets so you can come with me to my favorite cinema and we’ll sit in the balcony seats and eat popcorn and watch films and I’ll kiss you during the boring bits, because there’s always boring bits, even in good movies.”

She laughed and a rose stain crept across her cheeks. “That’s three wishes.”

“Ah. Then I guess I’d wish for more moments like this. With you. That’s better than the other ones.” He took a deep breath and blew away the eyelash. It fluttered in the air and disappeared over the edge of the terrace.

“I’d be flattered if I thought that was true, but perfecting the choux pastry recipe is definitely the better wish for you.” She flexed her fingers where they still rested on his chest. “But I can actually grant the moments one.” With her hand still between them, sheltering his skipping heart, she kissed him.

It tasted like summer. Like tequila and spiced heat. Like a ripe tomato fresh from a sunlit garden. Like something he never wanted to stop tasting. He deepened the kiss and she moaned softly. He pushed his hands in her hair and sucked the salt and spice from her tongue. Her shoes clacked to the floor as she straddled him. He kissed his way down her neck, restraining himself from putting any marks on her. From claiming her.

His fingers skimmed the soft, exposed skin of her shoulders as his lips found a sweet delicate spot on her collarbone. He pulled it in, grazing it with his teeth. Her hips jerked and desire shot through him. Fuck yes. He did it again. She retaliated by biting his neck which it turned out, had the same affect. 

She laughed softly at his grunt of pleasure and pulled back. Staring into his eyes, she unbuttoned his shirt. Impatiently, she shoved it open and ran her nails over the planes of his freckled chest before bending forward to kiss the base of his throat. He pushed his hands into her hair as she sensuously nipped her way up to his ear, tugging it between her teeth. “You’re so gorgeous,” she whispered.

He couldn’t contain the _ ohhhh _ that rushed out of him. Something in his soul simmered and melted like hot caramel at her words, and every kiss, every touch was suddenly sweeter. As if it all meant more. 

No one had ever made him feel the way she did. Sexy. Adored. Wanted. 

He hiked her dress up over her hips so he could press himself tighter to her, needing to be closer. Little spots of light burst in his vision as she rolled her hips. God, what he wouldn’t give to watch her come. To see her squirm and cry out his name. 

He cupped her ass and arched his hips to hers, breathing her name as they surged together like ocean waves. Her soft gasps turned to a kitten’s mewl as he kissed and licked his way past her clavicle, never breaking the rhythm between them. 

“You drive me mad,” she moaned. 

“Feeling’s mutual, lass.” He slid his hand inside of her dress and his thumb brushed her nipple. An hour ago, he thought he was losing her. Now that he had her, he couldn’t get enough. He needed to see her. To taste her. Everywhere.

A faint thumping cut through the haze of his desire. He ignored it and pushed at the fabric still covering her soft, full breasts. The edge of a dark, plump nipple just barely peeked out, calling for him.

“Bobby,” Lili said softly, tugging on his locs.

His tongue traced the delicious edge of her areola, feeling the tiny bumps on his tongue. He pushed the fabric all the way aside. Her nails dug into his scalp. Groaning with need, he curled his tongue around her nipple and then pulled it into his mouth. 

“Bobby,” she whimpered, her voice strained. “Someone’s knocking.” 

He slowed and heard the thump again. “Fuck aff!” he snarled.

Priya’s laugh glittered from the other side of the frosted glass door. “Everyone’s dancing and wondering where you two are,” she said. “Time to put your bits away and come downstairs.” The clack of her heels grew distant as she walked off. 

A cry of frustration shot out of him as he pressed his face to Lili’s gorgeous breast. She wrapped her arms around him, and he could feel her reluctance to let go, but finally she pulled away. 

Muttering all the colourful obscenities he knew (and as a Scotsman he knew a lot of them), he stood and tugged her dress into place. She buttoned his shirt with much more gentleness than he was using, laughing at his ire the entire time. 

Shaking her head, she bent to grab her shoes. Unable to resist, he gripped her hips, pulling her toward him, and pressed a kiss to the centre of her back. 

She looked over her shoulder and grinned. “Look at you, Captain B. Smooth. I thought for sure you were going to smack my ass.”

His blood heated ten degrees. “Would you have liked that?” 

“Mm, I have a suspicion that I might have, but no data to back it up.”

His hands wandered the curves of her ass. He gave a firm squeeze and leaned toward her ear. “Initial assessment?”

“Hmm. A mild tingle.”

He squeezed harder.

“Moderate tingle.”

He pulled his hand back and gave a firm smack, loving the way it bounced off. She nodded. “Again.” 

Laughing, he gave a sharper, meaner slap. Her hips jerked and she gave a hushed whimper. “Suspicion confirmed.”

He growled and pulled her against him, grinding his sizable stauner on her ass. She writhed and his hands were all over her again, his mouth on her neck. God, he wanted more. Always more with her. 

“Lili, where are you?” Hope called from the yard, over the throb of music. “It’s not a dance party without you, girl!”

With a groan, Lili pulled Bobby’s hands from her breasts, taking her delicious heat away from him. “Be down in a min, babe!” 

“The hell we are.” Bobby yanked her back toward him and kissed her. For a moment, she melted beneath his lips and tongue like sugar. Groaning, she broke the kiss. “Babe, they know we’re up here and they’re not going to let us alone. We’d better go.”

“I can’t. Look at me!” He pointed at his tented breeks. “How the hell am I gonna dance like this?”

She stared down at him, her dimples winking in and out of existence as a cheeky smirk settled on her face. 

“Stiffly,” she answered, grabbing his hand and leading him to the door. 

***

Despite his grumbles, the dancing was fun. He taught Henrik his sickest dance moves. He only had three, but they were in fact sick.

Hope and Lili were spinning each other around and doing some kind of magical hip rolling that raised everyone’s temperatures. 

“How do you do that?” Priya asked, attempting to mimic their movements clumsily.

“Belly dance, Lili said. “Years of classes. I’ve been teaching Hope!” 

Hope flicked her wrists upward and sinuously rocked her centre. “I’m a natural.”

“Teach me!” Priya said. 

Lili taught her a proper stance and began showing her basic moves he’d seen her do nearly every morning. Soon she had Priya doing what she called _ figure eights _. They started doing them in unison and Bobby wasn’t sure his cock could take it.

Lucas danced his way over to the girls. Bobby didn’t hear what he said, but Priya laughed. “Don’t ask me, ask Bobby!”

“Ask me what?” he said as if he didn’t already know that Lucas wanted to dance with Lili. 

“Never mind,” Lucas said, smiling. “Gary let’s see that move again!”

That’s right. Never mind. Fuckwit.

When the night was over, everyone headed to bed. The mood in the room was jovial. There were no arguments for once. Lili went to the dressing room to change and when she came back down, laughing with Hope about something, Bobby’s skeleton nearly shot out of his skin. 

She wasn’t wearing her Cherrygate pyjamas. Instead she wore a silky gold night set with black lace around the thighs and more lace at the edges of a deep plunging neckline. Across the room, Lucas, who’d been nattering on about motorbikes to Noah and Ibrahim, went silent.

She crossed the room and leaned over, removing her glasses and plugging in her phone. Lucas tracked her every movement like a lion watching prey.

Bobby swallowed. “Wow. That’s…uh classy,” he said, losing all sense of words and what they mean.

She laughed. “Thanks! I only had four pairs of Cherrygate pyjamas and they’re all in the hamper.” She slid into bed.

“Oh, so that’s how it is! This isn’t for me then?”

“I don’t do things for boys. I do things for me,” she said primly, turning onto her side to face him.

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Priya said from two beds over, pumping her fist in the air. “Girl power.”

“You hush,” he said to Priya. He turned to Lili, “And you, I’ll remember that next time I make cupcakes.”

“Oh, well what I mean to say is that I wore this just for you.”

“Booooo,” Priya said.

“Mmm, you were so right. You’re a rubbish liar.”

She laughed, her eyes dancing. He kissed her gently. Nothing too forward in front of everyone but enough to put up warning lights. They weren’t just a cuddly friend couple. 

Her fingers trailed over his chest and she pushed closer, her gaze heated. Though his aching body cried out to continue their earlier misbehavior, there was a louder voice in his head that wanted something more. He stroked her hair. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Course.” She cuddled into her pillow and looked at him as the lights started to dim.

“What are your degrees in?” 

Her dark eyes sparkled, and her smile nearly took up her entire face. “Oh. Um, my first degree was a master’s in dance education.”

“So you always wanted to teach?” 

“Well, I was never the ideal shape for the traditional stage and, to be candid, some dancers are meant for the spotlight and some are meant for the chorus. I was good, but I wasn’t talented enough to have big show business dreams. So I thought, I love dance and I love teaching. Let’s combine those. But once I had my degree and started teaching, I realized that it wasn’t—I liked it but it didn’t make me feel...useful.”

He stroked her cheek. “You needed to help kids.”

“Yeah. It’s something I should have figured out before I spent so much time on the first degree, but oh well.” She gave a small smile. “So I applied for a scholarship through a grant from the Fostering Project, and got my second master’s in Social Work. By the time I was done, they offered me a job.”

“That’s incredible. You’re pure brilliant, you know that, right?”

She shook her head. I don’t know about that. But I’m hard-working and I get to have the best of all the things I love because of it. Dancing. Teaching. Helping. Mentoring.” She pressed a soft kiss on his lips. “What made you ask all that? 

“I just wanna know more about you.”_ Everything. _He wanted to know everything about her. 

“Well I think it’s only fair that I get to ask something too.”

“Eye for an eye. Sure. What do you want to know?” He couldn’t stop his hand from tracing the line of her shoulder. 

“It’s a big question.”

He felt his guard rise and tried to press it down. If he wanted to know about her, he had to offer up some of himself. Just a little. “Go ahead.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

“Wow. You went for it, eh?” He rubbed a hand over his mouth and battled his need to make light of her question. “I don’t think so. With my last girlfriend, I thought maybe I was falling in love, but we broke up before I got there.”

“What happened?” 

“I dunno. She was practically living at my place and I was going to ask her to move in. But…” he thought back to that night. Davina’s antsiness. The cavern of space between them. The way her grey eyes glistened when she told him that she’d fallen for someone else. That she felt like they would never be anything more than friends with benefits. _ I’m sorry. I wanted this to work, but you’ve never let me in. It’s been seven months and I can’t tell what you’re thinking or how you feel...You’re a good time, but it feels like you don’t want more than that. And someone else does… I’ve only kissed him once and he already makes me feel like I’m on solid ground. With you it’s just rocky terrain and I’ve lost all my footing. _

“Um, I guess she felt like we were more friends than lovers and she ended it. Met a new bloke. They’re engaged now.” 

Lili gripped his hand and held it between their bodies, close to her heart. She looked at him with shimmering eyes, and it felt as if she were scratching her nails on his raw skin. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, if she hadn’t dumped me, I wouldn’t be here with you, so it all worked out, eh?” He grinned at her. 

She didn’t play along. “It’s okay to feel pain. It’s okay to admit that you feel it.”

He wanted to let go of her hand. To keep up his cheerful facade until he convinced her that it was all fine. For the best even. He didn’t fall apart over relationships. But Lili snuggled closer. She kissed the spot between his brows and then pressed her forehead against his. “I know it must have hurt,” she said.

“It did.” 

It was just two words, whispered with his eyes closed tight. It shouldn’t have mattered really. But he’d never told a soul that it hurt at all. Not his family. Not his friends. He’d just taken more hours at work and laughed it off as another classic Bobby failure. Wasn’t it hilarious that he had the extra key to his flat in his back pocket when she dumped him? When she said he was basically just a fuckbuddy? Ha. Ha. Ha. 

“What’s that really, really old song,” he said. “‘There’s nothing sadder than the tears of a clown’?”

Lili stroked his jaw tenderly. “Bobby, you’re not a clown.”

He swallowed past the uncomfortable lump in his throat. “It’s my turn again,” he said. “Uh, so what’s your favorite kind of dance?”

“You do know that you’re not fooling me, right?” she asked, her soft smile still in place. 

His heart. His mind. His everything was drowning in too much emotion. “I know.”

She nodded as if she understood, and then she kissed him. It was so sweet and delicate, it made his heart hurt. 

“My favorite kind of dance is raqs sharqi,” she said. “Egyptian belly dance. Though I have a great love of Hula as well. But belly dance is sort of...made for a body like mine. I have hips and a big bum and my stomach isn’t concave.” She lifted her pajama top and patted her delicious looking tummy. “I like dancing but I also like curry. And sushi. And Chinese food. And Mexican food.” He reached over and ran his fingers over her belly. She shivered at his touch. 

“You’re perfect.”

She laughed. “Hardly. But l like my body, imperfections and all. I’m jiggly. That’s why I love belly dance. I feel so alive inside my skin when I’m doing it. I can feel all the parts that we’re told we’re not supposed to feel or celebrate. The world tells girls to shrink and take up less space and be ashamed of our parts. Belly dancing requires you to take up space, to own the shape and flow of your body, to move like all the water inside of you.”

God, he loved her passion. He couldn’t get enough of the way she viewed the world. “I would love to see you dance. Really dance. Not just on a tiny terrace. I bet you’re amazing.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Do you own, like the fancy bra and the jingle skirt thing like belly dancers wear on television?”

“I do. Many of them. Fur pants and split skirts and very elaborate bras. I’m in a dance troupe so I have a lot of costumes.”

“You’re in a—” he shook his head. “So you’ve a full-time job?”

“Yes.”

“Then you teach dance at camps in the summer?”

“Correct.”

Then you teach weekly dance classes all year round?”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re in a dance troupe?”

“Yes sir.” 

“When do you sleep?”

She laughed. “It’s a grind sometimes, I’ll admit it. I think one of the reasons Lauren wanted me to come here was to break me out of that routine. Maybe make me a little lazier. I could stand some more balance but sitting still makes me feel…” she shrugged. 

“Lonely?”

“Yeah. How’d you know?”

He thought about his own life. Working a billion hours a week, making pastries on the weekends, curating his Instagram feed just in case he became famous. Practicing impressions. Obsessively going to the cinema, and blasting the television so it could be heard from any room in his flat. “I know a bit about trying to outrun loneliness,” he said. 

She stroked his cheek and he pressed his lips to the palm of her hand. Pulling her closer, he kissed her as the lights went out. 

But even as the room fell to inky blackness, they weren’t truly in the dark, because in his arms—bright and pulsing like the beat of his own heart—Lili glowed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, leave me kudos or a comment here or throw me a tweet @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are my preferred currencies. Thank you for reading! 💓
> 
> Thanks to Jolene, Mon, and Prim for your help. Ya'll are the peanut butter to my jam.


	23. Just a Touch of the Fire Burning so Bright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These two are horn-dogs and this one is pretty explicit. Viewer discretion is advised.

Something tickled the end of Bobby’s nose. Grumbling sleepily he swatted at it, but nothing was there. He rubbed at his face and turned his head into the pillow, but it started again on the side of his nose. He batted harder and heard a snicker. Opening one eye, he saw Lili leaning over him, holding a makeup brush. She grinned and tickled his nose again. 

“You’re awfully lucky that you’re bonnie” he said, rubbing at his face. 

She threw her legs around him, straddling his middle. “The sky’s awake, so I’m awake!” she whispered. “So we have to  _ play _ !” She gave a little bounce on his morning stauner, which was firmly pressed between himself and those silky little shorts she wore. 

Grabbing her bottom, he ground her against him, sparks of fire surging in his veins. “So let’s play.” He pulled her toward him and kissed her neck, while his hands sought her breasts. She was braless beneath that sexy pajama set and he groaned as he cupped them, massaging gently, his thumbs rolling over the hard tips that he desperately wanted to see again. And kiss. And lick.

She shook her head. “Not that kind of play. I wanna dance!” 

“This counts as dancing,” he said, sitting up, while holding her on his lap. He cupped the back of her neck and kissed her as he rolled his hips. “See? Dancing.” 

She glanced around the still dim room. “Terrace,” she whispered. She climbed off and his cock sprang upright. She stared at it, more curious than embarrassed. “I’m so glad I’m the big spoon. I don’t want that thing poking me in the back all night.” 

He reached down and pinged it, making it bounce. She snickered and he pulled her back onto his lap. “I’m a considerate lad. I’d slide it between your thighs, nice and out of the way,” he murmured. “Or elsewhere.” Jesus, where had that come from? 

Her eyes lit with heat and she kissed him hungrily. Her mouth dropped below his chin and she ran her tongue over his skin and nipped at the side of his neck. He grunted and her soft laugh rumbled against him. “We have to  _ play _ ,” she whispered.

Groaning, he sat up and put her on her feet. He followed her upstairs but he couldn’t stop touching her, his hands roaming her body as she climbed the steps ahead of him. 

They raced to the bathroom and brushed their teeth. She carefully brushed her tongue and rinsed out her mouth, spitting into the sink, before splashing warm water on her face, wiping the sleep from her eyes. He felt a rush of pleasure at her beside him, doing something so everyday. It was a special kind of intimacy, and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever before felt such excitement for something so natural. 

When they finished, she grabbed her little speaker and ipod from her closet and they headed for the terrace which was blissfully empty. Watching her dance was a joy. Not just because she was sexy as fuck, wearing no bottoms other than thin, small shorts, her braless breasts bouncing to the music, but because she was so full of joy, her smile growing bigger with each song. Her hips swaying as if they were detached from the rest of her body, her feet carrying her through spins. She was a whirlwind of color and motion. 

He of course, just danced like an idiot to make her laugh. 

After he declared his legs dead, they leaned against the back wall of the terrace, sweat dribbling down their necks. The sun was nearly up, the sky streaked with pastels like colored sugars. A sultry song started and she sang along, her voice delicate and longing.

She turned her body toward him. He mirrored her. Her gaze flicked to his forehead and she reached out and brushed the sweat away from his temple. He grabbed her hand and placed a kiss on the palm of her hand. 

She stared at him with those wide eyes and her hand curved against the side of his face. He grabbed her around the waist pulling her close. She gave a soft gasp as he closed the distance between them. Their mouths whisper brushed, barely touching at all. The dance of their own. A power play. Who would break first? 

It was him. 

He kissed her and his head exploded with pretty lights. She wrapped her arms tight around his neck and moaned against his mouth. He broke away and it physically hurt to put distance between them. “Come here,” he said softly. Gripping her hand, he led her to the area in front of the bench. She nodded, and together they made a cozy little bed on the floor of the terrace out of pillows and blankets. 

He laid her down and kissed her over and over, hands in her hair, body tight with desire. She explored his skin, trailing her fingers over his shoulders, his back, and chest. He caressed her through her pyjama top and she arched into his hands. He reached down and pushed it up over her belly and then higher, hungry to see all of her. She stiffened and he pulled back immediately. “What’s wrong?”

“I—” she scraped her teeth over her lower lip. “I know this will sound mad, but I’m not sure I’m really ready for below the clothes. Last night was intense and I enjoyed it, but we’re moving a bit fast, like. Maybe we can go a little slower?”

He was disappointed but he could hardly fault her for it. They villa skewed one’s sense of reality but the truth was, they’d known each other for less than a week. He pulled her shirt back over her tummy. “Of course,” he said. “I apologize for rushing. Let’s talk about it.”

He pulled the covers off them. They sat up, pressing their backs against the bench. Her cheeks were flushed and she stared down at her hands. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m—”

“Never ever apologize for telling me how you feel or what you need,” he said. “Just because we have this...chemistry, it doesn’t mean that we’re emotionally ready to go further. I should have talked to you about boundaries instead of groping you.”

“No. I liked the groping. I...I like your hands and your kisses. And your terrifying morning glory,” she said, swirling her hand in the direction of his lap. “I’m not upset because  _ you  _ went too far. I’m trying to—” Her shoulders rose and fell with the force of her sigh. “I’m trying to stop myself.” She stroked his cheek. “My pace is usually much slower than this. Lauren calls it ‘glacial’. But with you? It’s more like—”

“Warp speed, Mr. Sulu.”

“Aye, sir.”

Laughing, he grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckle. “Whatever pace you need is the pace I want.”

She breathed out and nodded. “Okay, so maybe stay above the clothes. For now.” 

“Absolutely.”

She grinned and climbed onto his lap. Reaching for the blanket, she pulled it over their heads and kissed him. “We can keep doing this part.”

His pulse sped up. “Mm, I do like this part.” 

It was heavenly just to have her in his arms. They kissed slowly, exploring rather than plundering. His hands roamed her with more thoughtfulness. He traced the curve of her waist, the soft skin of her arms and shoulders. He spread his hands over her hips and savored the way they felt as she rocked gently against him. He forced himself to take it easy and not arch greedily toward her, instead he allowed himself to simply enjoy the frizzles of electricity that surged from her friction. 

She touched him all over as well, stroking his chest and stomach and back. She playfully tickled his ribs, making him laugh. After a while she pressed her face to his shoulder and nuzzled him, sighing. 

He felt her yawn and laughed. “Let’s go back to bed, lass.”

They folded the blankets and then he led her back to bed, where the snoring rattled the headboards and no one was stirring. He kissed the top of her head and held her as her body softened and she fell asleep in his arms. 

##  ***

After waking, the girls pulled Lili away, wanting dance lessons. While they stood on the lawn, hips rolling, chests arched, the guys took Henrik’s lead, and went all in on their workouts, strutting like peacocks for their giggling audience.

The sudden power shift was palpable. There were seven boys and five girls. One boy was definitely going home at the next recoupling, so the guys were bringing their a-game, flirting and flexing, hoping to keep the attention of their partner, or in the case of Henrik and Lucas, gain the attention of someone. 

At least a half dozen times, Bobby saw Lucas chatting to Lili. He tried to keep his anxiety stomped down. She didn’t want the horse’s ass. She wanted him. 

By the late afternoon, In order to keep from going crazy, he sat with Rahim in the kitchen. “I can’t take the pressure. Want to screw with the new boys’ heads?”

Rahim glanced over to the daybed where Lucas and Rocco were flirting with Priya and Lili. “Yes. Yes I do.”

He laid out an idea and Ibrahim laughed. “I’m on board with that.”

Lili came by to refill her water and raised an eyebrow at them. “You look like you're plotting something.”

“No. Nothing. Stop interrogating me,” Bobby said.

“It’s nothing!” Ibrahim said. “It’s well, sportswear.”

Bobby scrubbed a hand over his mouth. “Man, now you’ve given it away already.”

“Spill it,” she demanded with a smile.

“Okay, it’s not nothing. We’ll tell you. But only if you don’t go around telling everyone yet, otherwise it won’t be funny. Cool?”

“Cool. I want in.”

“Now these new guys have come in, we thought it would be funny if we came up with a ridiculous word and pretended we all knew what it meant. If a few of us start using it, I bet we can get Lucas and Henrik—”

“Mostly Henrik,” Ibrahim said.

“Well yeah. But I bet we can get them saying it all the time.”

She threw her head back and laughed. “I love it!”

His heart throbbed at the sound of her laughter. “We can’t decide between ‘succulent’, ‘ice robot’, and ‘sportswear’.”

After a lengthy explanation, Lili nodded. “So ‘succulent’ means something good and not spiky? I like that one. It’s sexy.”

“Yes that’s the best one!” Ibrahim said, giving her a high five.

Bobby grinned. “We’re gonna go chat to Henrik now. I love that you’re in on this with us.” He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her in for a smooch.

She flushed and fluffed his dreads. “Succulent.”

“Totally,” he said. He kissed her again and she melted against him. Sighing, he let go of her and followed Rahim.

“You two are lookin’ pretty cozy,” Rahim said. 

Bobby felt his face burn. “Yeah. She’s...cool.”

“I don’t mean to make you feel awks. Just…” Rahim looked at him intensely. “Treat her well. She really fancies you, and I don’t want to see her get hurt. She’s a special girl.”

Bobby fought the smile that threatened to stretch his face past the breaking point. He never tired of hearing that Lili fancied him. “She tell you that?”

Rahim nodded. “She told me ages ago. And Priya asked her about it yesterday and she got all flustered. It was cute.”

Bobby gave in to that smile. “I—I fancy her too.”

Rahim nodded. “I can tell.” He waved at Henrik as they approached and the conversation died. 

It only took a few minutes to confuse the absolute fuck out of Henrik with the word. Lucas was a harder sell. Mistrust shone out of his dark eyes. They all chatted for a few minutes. Lucas’ gaze flitted away to Lili who was sitting on the edge of the pool. Her teal bikini bottoms barely covered the round swell of her ass. Without thinking, Bobby swung around and wandered over to Lili. He sat himself behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, dangling his feet in the water on either side of hers. She leaned back into his arms. 

“Why hello,” she said.

“Mm, hello,” he said near her ear. He didn’t bother looking back at Lucas. 

A shrill beep cut through the air. “Oh!” Priya rushed to them, holding her phone over her head. “Got a text!”

Everyone gathered around. “‘Islanders – it’s time to find out who’s been naughty, and who can keep their mouth shut in today’s challenge: Kiss and Tell!’”

Marisol grinned. “Sounds like we’re going to be doing some kissing.”

“Ugh, that sounds like drama,” Lili said.

“I’m looking forward to this!” Henrik said.

“Me too.” Lucas eyed Lili. “There’s no better way to get to know someone than up close and personal.”

Man, he really didn’t like Lucas.

At the Challenge Stage, Hope read out the rules and everyone nodded. Rocco made a face. “So let me get this straight – we read something on a card and then decide who to kiss? Is there a reason why we shouldn’t just kiss whoever we want?”

“Yeah, because then your team won’t get the points,” Gary said.

“So I can either play to win, or I can use this as a chance to kiss some people?”

Lili seemed baffled by this. “But you won’t get the points,” she said, echoing Gary.

Gary’s arms flapped up and down. “Thank you!” 

Bobby kissed Lili’s shoulder, smiling. She wasn’t keen on the game but she was competitive as hell. His girl didn’t like losing. “This is gonna be sexy!” he said. 

She shook her head. “No. It’s not.”

Marisol flicked her hair off her shoulder. “There’s no reason why you shouldn’t just kiss who you want, Rocco.”

“Uh, yes there is! He’s coupled up with me!” Lottie said.

“Babe it’s just a game.” Hope flipped her braids. “If Rocco’s going around kissing whoever he likes, he’s not going to be winning. Those cocktails are ours.”

“You wouldn’t be so keen if it was Noah excited to kiss other girls,” Lottie said.

Hope frowned. “Well it’s not.” She placed herself at the center of the stage, going first as always. She drew a card from the top of the deck. “‘The boy who spent more than £500 on a first date is…’”

The guys all stood still, no one making eye contact. “Good team work,” Henrik said. “Show no emotion. We’re playing to win this challenge.”

Lili’s eyes swept over the guys, bouncing like a ping pong ball on each and holding on Ibrahim. She’d proved in previous challenges to be disconcertingly perceptive. She was pure brilliant. The girls huddled up, which gave the guys a nice view while they waited. Finally Hope turned. “Are you ready boys?” She walked to Ibrahim and gave him a quick, gentle kiss.

“Really putting it out there, Hope!” Bobby said. “Steamy.”

“Shut up,” she said laughing.

Ibrahim admitted it was him and the girls won the point. And then Henrik explained that for dates he preferred to cook what he could forage in the forest and once made a date a dish of mushrooms, berries, and moss. Lili’s horrified expression made Bobby double over with laughter. 

Gary read off the boys’ card. “‘The girl who once got a full makeover just for a movie night with her mates.’”

“It’s not Hope,” Noah said. “No way.”

“Good,” Henrik nodded. “Let’s eliminate.”

They narrowed it down to Lili and Priya. Bobby shook his head. “Has to be Priya. It’s definitely not Lili.”

“The girl wears designer clothes and always looks full on,” Gary said.

“She has four pairs of Cherrygate pyjamas. I’m telling you, it’s Priya.”

“Or maybe you’re just nervous about someone kissing Lili,” Lucas said.

They all looked over at the girls. Lili’s bikini had flashy chains between the breasts and around her neck and over her hip bones. Priya’s sexy one-piece did look less expensive in comparison.

“It’s Lili,” Henrik said.

“Right,” Gary said. “Sorry mate.”

Bobby shrugged, irritated with the whole game already.

Gary walked up to Lili and gave her tight smile. “We think it’s you. Are you okay with this?”

“It’s fine,” Lili said. “Thank you for asking me.” She pursed her lips and Gary gave her a quick smooch.

“Way to go, guys,” Bobby said. “This game is turning out really sexy.”

Gary went back to the guys. “Mate, just cos no-one has given a foot rub yet…”

Hope snapped her fingers. “Your answer is…incorrect.”

“What?” Henrik said, looking disbelieving.

“It was me,” Priya said.

Lottie rolled her eyes. “She’s permanently dressed to kill and it’s like you boys don’t even notice.”

Bobby gave Lucas a smug look.

“It’s Lili’s turn,” Hope said. She pulled Lili’s card and read it out loud. “‘Your challenge is to find the boy who has had the most sexual partners’!”

Lili sized them up again. Her gaze shifted from Rahim to Gary to…Bobby.

He felt his face flush. He couldn’t stop thinking of what Rocco said earlier. What was to stop her from assuaging her curiosity and kissing say…Lucas? He grinned. “Come on, girls. We’re waiting.” He pouted his lips, ready for a kiss. “We all know it’s me.”

Lili shook her head and walked up to Gary. “Back for more, eh? You really think it’s me?”

“I’m positive.” Their kiss was just as brief as before.

“Come on Lili, stop with the PG stuff!” he shouted. It’s what he’d say to anyone else so he had to say it to her.

Gary grinned. “Bruv, I’ll kiss your bird proper if you want.”

Lili arched a brow at Bobby and he felt an immediate sinking in his stomach, remembering what she’d said the day before about feeling like he’d been throwing her at other guys. He gave her an apologetic smile and made a heart with his hands, holding it to his chest. She rolled her eyes, but she didn’t mask the smile that curled up the corners of her lush lips. 

“That was totally succulent, right?” Henrik said.

Bobby crossed his arms and gave him a pitying look. “You’re still not using that right, mate.”

“Oh,” Henrik said, looking sad. “Anyway, was Lili correct?”

“Yeah. I’m not usually one to boast about this, but all the lads know it’s me,” Gary said.

Marisol crossed her arms. “All the lads know, and I don’t?”

“Yeah,” Bobby said. “We talked about it on the first day. This guy has some serious numbers.”

“You know why the ladies call me Fred Flintstone?” Gary said.

“Ooh, I do!” Bobby hollered..

“Cos I can make your bed rock!”

Priya reared back. “How you’ve managed to get anyone into bed with that kind of line…”

Everyone laughed and Gary shrugged. “It works.”

Lucas cleared his throat. “Does anyone mind if I have a turn?” 

“Listen to how polite he is,” Hope said. “I think it’s the first thing he’s said this whole time. Go ahead, honey.”

Lucas pulled a card and read it. “‘The girl who was once kicked out of a club for dancing on the tables.’”

The guys all started talking at once.

“Lottie? I could see Lottie doing that?”

“Gotta be Lili,” Lucas said. “She’s a dancer. Once she has some liquor in her I bet you she likes to show off.” He got a faraway look in his eye. Probably picturing Lili gyrating on a table. 

The guys all nodded. “I can see that,” Henrik said.

All heads turned to Bobby. He was trapped. If he disagreed they’d think he just didn’t want anyone kissing Lili. Especially Lucas.

“I think you’re going to choose her no matter what I say,” he said. “And that’s fine. But Lili is a not a party girl. She doesn’t like clubs and she’s not even much of a drinker.”

“Who else could it be then, Bobs?” Gary asked.

“Hope,” he said.

“No way,” Noah said. “No.”

“Hope’s the one who got kicked out of a water park.”

“Yeah, no,” Lucas said. “That doesn’t seem right.”

Bobby gave an elaborate gesture towards the girls. “Go be wrong, then.”

Lucas gave Bobby a knowing smirk. He didn’t care if it was right or not and he knew that Bobby knew it too.

“Alright, ladies!” Lucas jogged over to Lili, who shot Bobby a bemused look.

He shook his head and shrugged. “I tried to tell them.”

“Bobby’s sick of PG, so…” Lucas made quite a show of the kiss. He went in slowly, sliding both hands below her ears and into her hair. Lili didn’t back away but she didn’t move either. He kissed her softly at first, before deftly opening her lips with his and teasing his tongue against hers. White hot fury lanced through Bobby and the wound it left behind bled with anxiety. She didn’t kiss him back, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t enjoying it. 

The girls hooted as the kiss went on and on. Her hands fluttered helplessly for a moment, then she pressed them to his shoulders and gave a firm push as she leaned her head back, breaking the kiss. 

Lucas grinned, keeping his gaze focused on her and no one else. She blinked dazedly, her bronze cheeks and chest flushed, her nipples straining against the fabric of her bikini top. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away, embarrassed.

Yeah. She’d liked it.

He unclenched his teeth and shoved his roiling emotions aside. He wouldn’t let Lucas get to him. To them. He wasn’t going to indulge his bruised ego and monstrous jealousy. It would only push Lili away and he couldn’t stand the thought of losing her pretty smiles. Her gorgeous brain. She was worth too much to him. 

Everyone cheered and Lucas bowed. Bobby played along, clapping, pretending there wasn’t a thing wrong in the world. Lucas trotted back to the guys and smirked. “R-rated enough for you?”

He wasn’t a violent guy but he had to resist the massive urge to punch Lucas right in his smug mouth. “Pure perfect,” he said lightly. 

“Good answer,” Priya said. “ _ Very _ good, apparently. But wrong.”

The guys all stared at each other. “What?” Henrik said. “How?”

Priya shook her head. “Obviously it’s Hope.”

“Obviously,” Bobby said.

“I should have seen that coming, to be fair.” Noah turned. “Sorry, Bobby.”

The guys all grumbled apologies, but Lucas shrugged, his arrogant smile firmly in place.

On Bobby’s turn, he had to smooch Lottie. He went in a little hot for the cameras, stroking her jaw as he let the kiss linger. “Damn, Bobby!” Lottie chuckled as a flush covered her whole face. She looked wide-eyed at Lili. “Lucky girl!”

“I know,” Lili said with a laugh. “His lips are magic.”

“You don’t even know the half of it,” he said, wiggling his brows. Lili bit her plush lower lip and gave him a heated look that he felt right down to his toes. 

The next card in Marisol’s hand was about the boy who got monthly “back, sack, and crack waxes”. The guys all looked at each other but no one said anything. This one was gonna be interesting. Probably all the girls would assume it was Rahim or Lucas, but Bobby’s bawbag was smooth as silk, and so was his back and his bum. Almost no crack left unwaxed. He left his underarm hair and his happy trail intact because they made him feel manly, and god knew, he needed to feel a little manly.    
  
The girls’ deliberation that still seemed to be going on, but Marisol suddenly swung around and marched to the boys’ side of the stage. “Looks like someone couldn’t wait to get her lips on us,” he said. Marisol ignored him and headed straight to Rocco. She threw her arms around his neck and gave him a snog. It wasn’t a little snog. It was a lot of snog. All eyes snapped to Lottie who stared silently. 

Poor Lottie. Poor Gary. 

The girls began talking over each other. Apparently, they’d all decided it definitely wasn’t Rocco. So the girls were fuming and Marisol was indifferent. As the arguing intensified, Lili tried to calm it down. “It’s perfectly fine to be upset, but shouting won’t fix anything right now.” The girls continued yelling as if she hadn’t spoken.

Gary pinched his lips together and said nothing. Bobby stepped in to help. “Uh, the game’s almost done. Maybe we should crack on?”

“Someone take a card,” Ibrahim said.

Rocco raced to the pile and grabbed the top one. “I’ve got to kiss the girl who ‘cancelled a romantic weekend with her boyfriend because her friend got stood up on a blind date’.”

“Clearly wasn’t Marisol,” Lottie said. “Whoever did it was a girl who cares more about her mates than some boy.”

“Come on Lottie. It was just a kiss,” Priya said.

The guys turned to face each other. “What do we think?” Noah asked.

“Lottie’s all about the girls,” Gary said.

“Hope hates cancelling plans,” Noah mused.

“Lili,” Bobby said.

“Yeah, agreed,” Lucas said. “She’s sweet like that.”

Bobby had never been so aggravated to be agreed with.

“Nah, Lottie,” Henrik said. “She’s sweeter than everyone gives her credit for.”

Rocco walked off. They stopped speaking and watched him head to the girls. “The girl who I think would drop everything for her mates, is someone passionate, fiery, and always true to what she wants.” 

He turned and headed straight to Marisol. 

Just like before, it wasn’t a sweet little snog. Marisol went all in, kissing him back hard. Visible tongues and all that. In the hush, all you could hear were their mouths damply exploring each other. Marisol’s hand slid down Rocco’s chest.

“I cannot believe I’m seeing this,” Lottie snarled. “You’ve got no idea what loyalty means, Rocco!”

Lili went to Lottie and gave her hand a squeeze. “Marisol stop, this isn’t okay.”

“You both remember that I’m standing here, right?” Lottie said.

They finally stopped kissing and pulled away, both of their expressions unreadable. 

“Bobs,” Gary said, his voice a bit unsteady as he’d just watched his partner get near to  _ top and fingers _ in front of him. “Can we move on?”

Bobby patted his shoulder and grabbed the cards. “I know emotions are running pretty high here, but there’s still a whole lot of these cards left,” he said loudly. “All the drama has kinda killed the vibe, but you girls could probably use that cocktail party tonight. Want to try for another one?”

Lili made a face indicating that she wasn’t sure. They looked at each other. What was the better option? He grabbed the deck and picked the top card reading it and abandoning it as boring. The next one was funny. He ran to Lili and handed it to her.

She looked at it and raised an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“Absolutely.”

“Ok,” she said. “I’m looking for the boy who has been ‘caught out naked in public’.”

The arguing went silent. And then Lottie burst into laughter. “Wait, what?”

“That’s what it says,” Lili said with a shrug.

The girls huddled together, Marisol staying as far from Lottie as she safely could. The guys looked at Rocco uneasily. He couldn’t have seemed less bothered about cheating on his partner in front of everyone. They all knew the kisses would happen but that wasn’t kissing, it was getting off, and it was unacceptable.

Lili turned around and walked up to the line of boys. Her eyes were narrowed on Henrik, who was the likeliest choice. She took a step toward him and then turned, heading straight to Bobby.

He couldn’t stop the smile that broke across his face. “Really? You might not win.”

“Fuck it,” she said, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She went in for the kiss and he laughed against her mouth. Cupping a hand behind her head and one around her back, he tipped her backward, taking most of her weight in his arms and kissed her, parting her lips and massaging her tongue with his. It was showy and ridiculous and he loved it. He pulled her back up and kissed the tip of her nose.

Everyone cheered and clapped. She leaned to his ear. “It was Henrik wasn’t it?”

“Yep.”

“Worth it,” she said, before giving his ear a kiss. He kept hold of her hand as she backed away until they were too far apart to touch.

Lucas did not hide his scowl and that made Bobby feel…pretty great.

“Completely succulent,” Henrik said.

Ibrahim shook his head sadly. “Nah, mate. Still not using it right.”

Henrik shrugged. “Sorry, Lili, it was me.”

Unbothered, she shrugged too. As Henrik told the story of a naked swim that went awry, Bobby caught Lili’s eye. She winked at him and his insides melted like chocolate in a bain-marie. Fuck. He was done for. She had already ruined him for all other girls. 

##  ***

Bobby didn’t see Lili for hours after the challenge. Since the game was a draw, both teams got separate cocktail parties, and she had disappeared to play peacekeeper for the girls and he did the same for the boys. 

He kept everything light, cracking jokes and bumping hips with Henrik while they danced to the music pumping out of the lawn speakers. Gary was withdrawn and stared at the horizon most of the evening. Rocco acted completely oblivious to the awkwardness and Bobby didn’t bother talking to him. He was no longer sure if Rocco honestly saw nothing wrong with what happened or if he was playing stupid.

When they finally got the bedtime text, everyone seemed relieved. What a day. He wrapped an arm around Gary’s shoulder and gave him a squeeze as they headed for the villa. Gary smiled. “Thanks, Bobs.”

“Our bromance is forever. Never forget that,” Bobby said. 

Gary laughed. “I won’t. But we should plan cuddles for another night. Looks like someone else has dibs.” He pointed to the daybed. “Ya lucky fuck.”

Lili was sitting on the daybed, wearing a tiny red negligee thing that set his nerves on fire. Jesus. She gestured for him to join her. “I really am,” he murmured, patting Gary’s back as he made a sharp right turn toward Lili. “Hey there, gorgeous,” he said.

“Hi, pastry chef,” she said. “Care for a chat?”

“Anytime.” He sat across from her as the yard emptied. “How’d your party go?”

“Not as bad as it could have gone, but still not great. I talked to Marisol and got her side. I hear what she’s saying about needing to know if her feelings were real, but it wasn’t the right way to do it. Also, it turns out Rocco’s been propositioning everyone to leave their partners. I think he got spooked when Lucas and Henrik showed up. Upside is that Lottie is handling this better than I imagined. How’s Gary?”

“More embarrassed than anything. And Rocco’s too stupid to know he did anything wrong.”

“He’ll find out tomorrow. Lottie plans to ice him out. She has most of the girls on board.”

He scowled. “I’ll try to have a talk with her tomorrow. That’s not on.”

“No, it’s not.” She pulled her legs up to her chest. The wind ruffled her hair and it reminded him of that first day in the villa. He grabbed a curl and tickled her nose with the end before sliding it behind her ear. She smiled. “Before I went to foster care, my mum and dad fought all the time. Always yelling. I hated it. And now I’ve purposely put myself in a posh prison full of melodramatic attention-seekers. I think this is what’s called…” she crooked her fingers into quote marks. “‘A cry for help’.”

He laughed and leaned over to kiss her knee, resting his head on it. “You’re the funniest girl I’ve ever met.”

She stroked the side of his face. “And you’re the sweetest boy.”

“So,” he said.

“So,” she repeated. “We should talk about Luc—”

He cut her off, pressing his lips to hers. “There were a lot of kisses today,” he whispered. “I don’t want to talk about any of them.” He stroked her curls and kissed her languidly. She met his pace, their lips saying all the things that were too frightening to say with words. He leaned her back against the pillows and kept kissing her until he was dizzy, drunk on her sweetness. 

Finally, he pulled back and stroked her lips. “You know, you asked me that question last night and I never asked it back.” 

She smiled. “Have I ever been in love?” He nodded. “No. I never have. My ex-boyfriend...we were together for two years. I loved him, but neither of us were  _ in love _ , like. His parents were quite religious and they really liked me and I think that was enough for him. He just wanted them to be happy. And being with him—” she shrugged. “People stopped bothering me about my love life.”

“That sounds like a lonely relationship.”

“In some ways it was. His parents pushed us to get married and when he asked, I said no. He was a good friend but there was no...passion. For either of us. We dated for almost a year before we slept together.”

“Holy—how? How did he not go crazy?” He kissed her neck, making her whimper when he bit her lightly. “I can’t stop touching you and this guy waited a year?”

She arched her hips sending a jolt of heat through him. “Like I said, not a lot of passion. It was never like this.”

“I’m sorry, lass.” A question shot into his thoughts and he knew it was completely wrong to ask so he shoved it back out of the way. But her dark eyes probed his. “I can see that brain going a million miles an hour. What do you want to know?”

“No. It’s none of my business and it’s also gross to ask you.”

“None of your business  _ and _ gross? Now I’m intrigued.” She kissed him and he groaned as her tongue feathered against his. “Go on.”

He pulled her legs up on either side of his hips and stroked the soft skin of her outer thighs. “Did he ever…” he considered his words. “Did he ever make you come?”

Her eyes darkened with heat. “No.”

“Have you ever? With anyone? Or on your own?”

“No. Though not for lack of trying on my own.” A seductive little smile lifted the corner of her mouth. “Why?”

“Because I literally think about making you come ten times a day.”

“Wait. Making me come ten times or you just think about it ten times?”

“Both?”

She laughed and kissed him. He pressed himself to her, working his hips in a steady rhythm until she started making sexy little high-pitched whimpers. 

“I could make you come right now,” he breathed against her lips. “And I could do it, staying over the clothes.”

“That seems more like a loophole than good faith adherence to boundaries,” she said, breathlessly. “And it’s hardly fair to you. You wouldn’t get to come.”

“It was just an offer,” he said, never ceasing the grinding of his centre on hers. “Didn’t mean to push your boundaries.” His thumbs made slow circles around her nipples. “I won’t bring it up again.” 

“I didn’t say no.”

“You didn’t say yes either.”

For a moment, the only sound was the buzz of cicadas. Then she arched her breasts into his hands and bit her lip. “Please,” she breathed out softly.

Desire slammed into him hard enough to make him see spots. In a few swift motions, he pulled the coverlet out from beneath their bodies and over their heads. 

He focused on her neck and shoulders at first, making love to every inch of exposed skin. Then her jaw. Slowly, he made his way to her breasts. He spent ages there, stroking, licking, pulling on them through the silky fabric of her negligee. The soft sighs and moans she made spurred him on. He couldn’t see anything beneath the heavy coverlet, he could only feel his way down, until he was between her thighs. 

With teasing slow licks, he bit and sucked at the skin of her inner thigh. She lifted her hips, telling him exactly what she wanted. He spread his hands over her inner thighs and pushed them further apart. With eager fingers, he teased at the soft cleft beneath her pants and stroked slowly. Unable to deny himself this small gift, he bent to kiss her there and couldn’t resist running his tongue up and down the fabric. Her gasp curled inside of him like smoke.

He wished he could taste her properly, but he was grateful for being able to touch her this way at all. Through the fabric, he used his thumbs to spread her open. He found the centre of her sex and pushed in with both digits, massaging gently as he bent to suck hard through the fabric, paying attention to the way she responded. He adjusted his pressure with the barest twitch of her hips.

Her keening moans held a note of frustration and he knew he needed to dial up the pressure, so he decided to follow the spirit of the law rather than the letter. He turned her onto her side and settled himself behind her as he lifted her leg over his thigh. Kissing her ear, he reached one hand between her thighs and gave her panties a firm yank toward her ass, pulling the fabric between the lips of her pussy. She squirmed, giving little purrs and gasps as he pressed his other hand against the bunched fabric and began a ruthless grinding. 

“I want you so much.” He breathed against her ear, making goosebumps rise on her skin. “Every day I think about what it would feel like to be inside of you. Do you think about that too?” 

She shuddered beneath the onslaught of his words and his hands. “Yes,” she moaned. 

“What else do you think about?”

“I thi—” she gave a cry as he pushed her closer to the edge. “I think about your fingers. And about watching you come. In my mouth.”

Fuck. He wasn’t expecting that. He ground himself against her ass while he kept up that steady pressure on her centre. “Oh fuck, lass.” 

She arched her hips in a fluid rolling motion. “Bobb—don’t stop. Oh please.” Her voice climbed higher until she was near to sobbing. “Please, yes!” Her thighs contracted and she slammed her hand on top of his, forcing him to grind even harder as she shuddered, body raising off the bed from the force of her orgasm. 

He held the pressure there for another moment as her body pulsed with a pleasure that crashed and receded and crashed again. With a soft sigh, the tension left her and she collapsed against his chest. He let go of her pants and gently he stroked her through the sopping fabric, making her whimper. He kissed the space behind her ear. “My sweet girl,” he whispered. “My bonnie lass.”

She turned over and kissed him, shivering against his lips. “Bobby…” She looked at him with glassy wide eyes. “That was…” Her brows drew together but she couldn’t seem to find the words, so she buried her face in his neck. He held her tenderly. Her fingers stroked down his stomach tickling their way to the aching bulge in his breeks. He groaned as she stroked him. 

“You don’t need to worry about me babe,” he said with a smile. 

She leaned back to look at him and her eyes were heated and obstinate. She didn’t slow the pumping of her hand and his cock begged him to shut up and let her continue. He wanted to absolutely die of joy when he felt her unzip his breeks and tug on them. He quickly stripped them off, but left on his boxers. She bit her lip and straddled him. He grunted as her weight settled on him. 

After that, all he could do was hold onto her as she rode him hard through his boxers. God, she was strong. The bed creaked with the force of her pounding hips. Lights danced behind his eyes and his abdomen tightened in the most delicious way. He gripped her ass and felt the tension coil tighter and tighter until it had no more slack. His vision blurred and he cried out as he came, quivering beneath her. But she didn’t stop, and suddenly, her thighs tightened on his hips. Rapid bursts of breath panted out of her as she shuddered and ground down hard. “Oh fuck,” she cried as she fell forward. 

“Here I thought you were doing that for me,” he said, trying to catch his breath and regain full use of his sight. “Apparently you only ride boys for you.”

“That one was for both of us.”

“Very generous,” he said.

Laughing, she climbed out of the bed and he groaned at the loss of her. “I’ll be right back.” 

A moment later she returned, wearing a pair of black shorts beneath her red nightie. She handed him a towel and a pair of pyjama pants. Why was she so wonderful? He smiled and thanked her. She turned to give him some privacy. He cleaned himself up and rolled his boxers into the towel, shoving the whole thing under the bed. He slid into the pajama pants and felt infinitely more comfortable. 

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her all over her face, making her giggle. “So how was your first orgasm?”

She considered it. “Pleasant.”

“Are ya trying to hurt me, woman?”

“No.” She snickered as she ran her fingers over his lips. “It was mind-blowing. I didn’t know it would feel like that.”

“Wait till we get beneath those clothes. You’re gonna need resuscitation after I’m done with you.”

She tickled his ribs and he giggled like a teenage girl as he tried—and failed—to escape her fingers. 

“How are you my sweet pastry chef most of the time, but you get near my bits and suddenly you’re all swagger?”

He grinned, feeling far too good to play it cool. “ _ Your  _ pastry chef?”

She flushed from chest to cheeks, and bit her lip. Laughing to herself, she kissed him. “Yes. Mine.”

Their kisses were playful and their mood airier than a sponge cake after that, but Bobby couldn’t help but rejoice inside. 

He was hers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read this. You give me life 💓 If you like what I do, leave me kudos or a comment or throw me a tweet @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are my preferred currencies.
> 
> Thank you to my critiquers and sisters from other misters, Mon, Jolene, and Prim. You bring me sunshine, laughter, and lots of sexy emoji reactions to my naughty scenes 🌞💖


	24. Wrap Me in Everything That Glows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Bobby and Lili are having feelings. Adult feelings. Viewer discretion is advised.**

The sky still held traces of pink and gold as the sun rose, a warm breeze swept through the yard, while birds chirped a happy tune in the garden. 

On the daybed, Bobby and Lili were purring a tune of their own. 

They’d forgone dancing to stay cuddled up talking and touching. The talking had come to an end a little earlier and now they were tangled together like Christmas lights. Her fingernails trailed over the small of his back, sending shivers up his spine as he traced her collarbone with his tongue, pausing to kiss the base of her throat. Their hips rocked gently together, and pressure built in Bobby’s abdomen. 

He’d never spent hours just exploring someone, especially someone still clothed, but that’s what they’d done. He learned that kissing and nipping at her wrists made her moan, and that touching the backs of her knees or between her ribs sent her into paroxysms of laughter. Breathing on her ears from behind felt good but breathing too heavily and too close from the front did not. 

Lili had found places he didn’t know felt good either. Her tongue on the base of his neck. Sweet kisses to the spot just beneath his belly button. Her lips on the tips of his fingers. Her teeth grazing his nipples. She made his body tremble in ways it never had before. 

“Lil,” he murmured into the crook of her neck. “I can’t stop kissing you.” Moaning low in her throat, she wrapped her legs tighter around his waist. She loved it when he talked. “I wish I could put my fingers inside of you.” She clutched him tighter, her hips moving faster. “And my tongue.”

Her nails dug into his back. After three of her orgasms he knew that when she was so close to coming she needed a lot more pressure. He stopped his rocking and she gave a disappointed cry. 

“I’ve got you,” He slid a hand between their bodies. Curling it into a fist, he pressed his knuckles against her, grinding rapidly. “I love watching you come.”

Her nails were digging into his shoulder now, her hips rolling against him. 

“Everyone wake up! I got a text!” Priya’s squawk carried from inside the villa to the daybed, severing the delicious tension like a knife through a tightrope. He slowed the motion of his hand. 

“Noooo,” Lili cried. “Please don’t stop. You didn’t hear that. Keep going.”

“Hear what?” He resumed his motion and she gripped his wrist, grinding against him. 

“Fuck,” she whispered. “Oh fuck. Please, I need…” She frantically reached down and shoved her silky black pants aside and pressed his knuckles to her bare skin. Oh fuck. Yes. 

He forced himself to stay still. “Are you sure, lass?” 

She growled her response as she unfolded his hand and pressed two of his fingers to her. He slid them between her slick folds and couldn’t help the moan that spilled from his lips as they entered hers. 

Touching her. He was touching her. 

He positioned his hand and pressed his thumb tight to her clit as he thrust his fingers home. She wrapped her arms tight around his neck, whimpering as his fingers became more insistent and god he loved that sound.

Her breathing quickened and she arched her hips, riding his hand. So close. She was right on the edge. 

“Lili! Bobby, wherever you are, get in here!” Priya hollered. “I’m giving you one more minute! Don’t make me go looking for you!”

“Dammit,” he said, pulling away. “We’ve gotta go. Everyone’s waiting on us.”

“No!” She grabbed his wrist and let out a soft sob of frustration. “Don’t stop.”

“Have to.” He pulled his hand away and stared at his glistening fingers. Fuck. Without any thought, he licked his fingers, needing to taste her. Her pupils dilated and she sat up. Gripping his face, she kissed him, curling her tongue to his. He turned her onto her back, kissing her fiercely. He needed to make love to her desperately. With his hands. Mouth. Cock. Whatever. 

But he couldn’t. Fucking fucker fuck hell damn. He pulled back. “Babe, we have to go. If we don’t, they’re all gonna come out here and see this.”

She stuck her lower lip out. “No. I don’t want to.” 

This was a new side of her. She was so adorably disgruntled. He kissed her softly. “Come on.”

“That’s what I was trying to do!” 

He tickled her ribs, searching for that one spot that he had discovered sent her into hysterics. He found it and she gave a squeak as she shot out of the bed. “Stoooop.” 

Laughing he got up and groaned at his extremely visible stauner. Oh well. All the guys woke up with them. Maybe they’d think they just woke up.

He turned to look at Lili in the light. Nope. No one was going to think they’d just woken up. She looked positively indecent. Her curls were wild, lips swollen from kissing, chin and neck dark pink from his stubble, nipples standing at attention through the silky red nightie. She slid on her glasses and fuck, she was sexy. His body begged for him to pull her back into bed. 

Instead he smoothed out her shorts and curls, and walked behind her to the bedroom, hoping to hide his overt state of arousal.

Most everyone had just woken up and were sitting in their beds. All eyes were on them, as they entered the room. Thankfully all the attention deflated his stauner faster than a cold shower.

Priya raised both eyebrows high as she took in their appearances.

He sat on their bed and pulled Lili to sit in front of him. He wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her shoulder. Her body was nearly vibrating with unspent energy. She needed to come so badly. 

Priya read the text and it was something about the most dateable boy, but Bobby barely heard her. In the next bed over, Lucas’ gaze was heavy as a hand, stroking Lili from her lips to the tips of her breasts. He looked like he couldn’t decide between annoyance by her state or arousal at it. Bobby guessed it was both, as Lucas surreptitiously reached beneath the covers to adjust himself. 

“Looks like the power is in our hands today, girls!” Lottie said. 

The boys groaned and Bobby tried to trace back to what the text said. A talent contest? 

“What are you boys waiting for?” Priya asked. “Let’s get the day started! You need to impress us!” 

Everyone shuffled out of bed and headed for the dressing room. He got up to follow, but Lili grabbed his hand. He grinned at their intertwined fingers and her searching brown eyes. He cupped her chin and delivered a sweet, lingering kiss. “Is that what you wanted, snugglebunny?”

“Ew!” She laughed and pulled away. “I refuse to answer to nicknames that compare me to helpless animals.”

“Bunnies aren’t helpless. Didn’t you ever see _ Monty Python and the Holy Grail _ ? Didn’t you ever read _ Bunnicula _?”

“Hmm. That’s a super old book, right? I think I read it.” She thought about it. “Are you saying I’m a...vampire bunny?”

“A vampire bunny who snuggles, yes.” 

“Well, as long as you remember that I’m bite-y.”

He leaned down and pressed another kiss to her swollen lips. “I can’t possibly forget,” he murmured. 

## ***

Bobby whistled a happy tune as he settled onto a footstool in front of the bar. He squeezed a mango gently, massaging the sweet flesh beneath the tough skin. Despite the tightness in his body, he was happy. Not even Gary’s insistent questions about how far he’d gone with Lili could dull the shine on his mood. 

God, he couldn’t wait to get that girl alone. It was early afternoon and they hadn’t spent much time together, which was for the best, because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep his hands to himself. They’d broken the clothing barrier and now all he could think about was putting his face between her thighs. Mmm. He bit into the now-soft mango, and a flood of sweet juice coated his tongue. He moaned with a pleasure that had nothing to do with fruit.

A haze of vanilla and ginger perfume blended with the floral, tropical scent of the mango. Warm arms circled his shoulders and he smiled. He’d conjured Lili up like a cookie-scented dream. 

“Hey you,” she said.

“Hey.” He leaned back into her. “Are you staying out of trouble?”

“Always.” She leaned against the counter and ran her fingers along the edge. “I’m an angel.”

“Is that so?” He gave her an incredulous look over the mango as he put it back to his lips to suck the juice and pulp from it. 

She watched him curiously. “What are you doing?

He licked his lips and her eyes flickered down, following the path of his tongue. “Eating a mango. Don’t tell me you’ve never had one?” 

“No, but I’ve seen people eat them. Just never like that.”

“Ah. Well, whenever my dad took us to Jamaica to visit my nan and papa, we’d pick mangoes right off the trees. Papa taught us to eat them like this, so you didn’t get mango pulp all over you.” He held up the fruit. “You just rub it, mushing up all the insides without breaking the skin. Then you bite off the top and suck out the fruit. You push up from the bottom as you go. It’s like a smoothie but without the cleanup.” He handed it to her. “Try it.”

“This feels like an excuse to watch me suck on something.”

He smirked. “Of course it is.”

Rolling her eyes, she studied the mango, before placing her mouth directly over the bite he’d taken out of it. Her cheeks shallowed as she sucked the pulp out. God. Damn.

She handed it back, a sparkling challenge in her eyes and they traded it back and forth until he hit the seed and pulled it out. “This is the best part. It’s the sweetest right here at the stone.” He held it to her lips. “Just clean it off.”

Slowly, she sucked on it, never breaking eye contact with him. She held it out to him and he cleaned off the remainder. Swallowing, he tossed it aside and pulled her close, kissing her with sticky lips. She laughed and wrapped her arms around him, drawing the sweetness from his tongue. 

“Aww, you two are disgusting.” Lottie said brightly as she tromped into the kitchen. “But stop it. I got a text!” 

A crowd gathered in the kitchen and Lili growled under her breath. “Let’s run away and never come back.”

“Wherever you go, I’m following.” He froze and so did she. They looked at each other and he felt weak from the truth of his words. 

“Hey, what part of ‘I got a text’ are you two not hearing today?” Lottie said, shaking her phone. “Pay attention!”

Lili turned and he pulled her close. Placing a kiss on the back of her neck, he pretended he hadn’t just said way too much. 

Lottie read out the text. The boys were going to be fighting it out in a talent show, to win the title of _ Mr. Love Island _ . Or _ Most Dateable _. Honestly, the details were confusing. Was it a talent show or a pageant?

The girls thought it was a riot to be judging it. The guys seemed to be varying levels of terrified. 

“You worried about this, Bobby?” Noah asked. 

He found his inner irreverence. “Nope, not me. I just try and live in the moment. I don’t worry about the future until I’m stuck in it.”

Lili studied him and he felt naked beneath her wide-eyed gaze. “Don’t you mean, YOLO?”

“Science doesn’t actually prove how many times we live, Lil.” Her amused snort made his insides flip over. “Anyway, smilers wear a crown and losers wear a frown.”

She shook her head. “How many times have you seen _ Miss Congeniality _? I swear you quote more rom-coms than any girl I’ve ever met.”

“At least five times. And good films aren’t gendered, madam. I like a good love story. Don’t you?”

“Sometimes,” she said. “If it feels real.”

Weak. He was so weak for her. “It has to feel real,” he said, stroking her jaw.

Lucas cleared his throat. “We should go get ready for this thing, boys.”

Reluctantly, he left Lili behind and followed the guys inside. 

Thankfully, the next few hours were chaos and Bobby didn’t have time to think about what he’d said to Lili. He was too busy dodging all the guys who were stumbling over each other as they raced for razors and bronzer and rolled socks for their budgie smugglers. 

For some reason, he felt nervous about this silly pageant and he didn’t like it. This was the kind of thing he was good at. He could entertain and charm and make girls laugh. So there should have been no worries. 

But he was competing against some of the best-looking guys he’d ever seen. Especially The Horse’s Ass, who was taking the whole thing with an odd level of seriousness, as he stared into the mirror, tweezing stray hairs from his eyebrows while giving himself some kind of pep talk. 

Bobby was finishing his eyeliner when he saw Henrik in the mirror behind him. “Woah, look at you, Thor Junior, that is a _ look _!” The guy had on a vibrant red lipstick and a mountain of gold body glitter.

Henrik dropped a rough hand on Bobby’s shoulder. “Thanks! Can you help me with this part?” He poked a shaking eyeliner pencil at him. “Yours looks really good.”

“Ah. I wore eyeliner when I sang in a punk band. Got good enough to teach my sister how to put it on when she was in secondary school.” He sat Henrik down. “Stay perfectly still. Pretend you just saw a bear while hiking.”

“Actually if you see a bear, you shouldn’t stand still. You should wave your arms and make a lot of noise so you don’t startl—”

Bobby raised his brow. “Do you want this eyeliner or not, lad?”

“Sorry.”

He sat perfectly still while Bobby directed him to look at the ceiling first, and then the floor. He tilted his chin to study his handiwork. “There you are. You were already pretty but now you’re damn near stunning.”

Henrik looked in the mirror and laughed. “I _ am _pretty.”

“Oh my god.” Lili stood in the doorway to the dressing room, her brows high. “Look at you guys.” She pointed at Henrik. “Are you wearing Lottie’s lipstick?” 

Bobby couldn’t stop the smile that stole across his face. It had only been two hours since he’d seen her, but it felt like weeks. Since coming to the villa, he saw her all day, every day, so why did he miss her so much when she wasn’t around? Unsure of the answer, he crossed the room and clasped her hand. “What are you doing here, babe? Want me to do your eyeliner? I’m great at the flicky cat’s eye one.”

“I can see that, but no. Noah and I were chatting and I thought I’d come check on you.” Her teeth scraped her lower lip. “You look amazing. Do you have your act figured out?”

“No. I just finished the aesthetics.”

“Want some help with the rest?”

“I’d love that!” He followed her downstairs to the bedroom. “Now, is this just an excuse to—” Lili grabbed him and kissed him passionately. He grunted and pulled her closer. “Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?”

“I don’t know. I just wanted to kiss you. Also, that eyeliner is really doing something for me.” She kissed him more softly. “Are you nervous?”

There was a piece of him that wanted to lie. But her eyes always pulled the truth out of him. “A bit. There’s a hidden talent portion. And a speech. But I’m mostly nervous about the swimsuit part. I have to walk around pretending to be sexy.”

“You _ are _ sexy.” Her hands ran down his arms and he flexed beneath her fingers, making her snicker. “Anyway, don’t forget that all of this is just for a laugh. Go out and make it fun. That’s what you’re great at.”

She was right. He could find the fun in even the most pedestrian tasks. Standing up straighter, he smoothed his locs and tried to relax. Make it fun. He could do that. 

“Now, with the speech, all you have to do is be yourself,” she said. “That’s where you shine, anyhow.”

He frowned. “Is being myself going to be enough?”

The smile on her lips was different. Softer. “It’s enough for me.” 

He tugged her close and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “If I ever made a cupcake as sweet as you, no one would be able to eat it.” 

“I’ll take that as a compliment, I think.” She stroked a finger along his jaw. “The part you want to get right is the hidden talent bit. It needs to be something entertaining and unique to you.”

Unique to him. Hmm. “I dunno. If you were doing this, what would yours be?”

“I’d burp the alphabet. A boy in a group home taught me, years ago. Pretty sure I can still do it.”

“I don’t believe you. No way.”

“Are you calling me a liar, Robert?”

He crossed his arms. “Yes.”

“Well, that hurts.” She pointed at his water bottle. “May I?” He nodded and she took a swig before stretching her arms above her head as if limbering up. With a slow, deep breath, she proceeded to burp the entire alphabet. At one point, Henrik peered from the stairwell in horror, and then fled back up the stairs. 

“Holy hell,” he said, at the last echo of her zed bounced around the room. “You’re amazing.” She was a brown-eyed goddess, somehow both elegant and cheeky at the same time. There wasn’t another soul like her. 

“I used to be able to do it while doing a handstand, but I’m out of practice. There’s not a lot of opportunities to show off a skill like that.”

“Teach me how!” 

“There’s no time today, but I will absolutely teach you.” He pouted and she poked his lower lip in. “My point was that the talent doesn’t have to be something major. It can be entertaining, or surprising, or unusual.”

What could he do? He thought back to what he’d spent his time on as an awkward teenager, and the answer was right there. Magic.

“Oh, I’ve got it. I know what I’m going to do!”

She waited, and then sighed. “Not going to tell me, are you?”

“Don’t wanna ruin the surprise.” He took her hand and stared down at her long fingers, tipped with shiny black nails. “Thank you for helping me.”

“Course.” She placed her hand on his racing heart. “I think you’re the most dateable guy here. I don’t think it’ll take much for everyone else to see it too.”

“I’m so lucky to be coupled up with a great girl like you.” He brushed a strand of hair away from her face and she leaned her cheek into his hand. “I should go get ready.”

She nodded and stepped back. “You’ve got this, babe. Go win that sash.” The surety in her gaze floated beneath his feet like clouds, carrying him back to the dressing room and then down to the kitchen to sort out his talent. 

## ***

The area beside the pool had been transformed into a pageant stage, complete with a runway. The judge’s table was decorated with bright pink flowers along with glasses of bubbly and bowls of strawberries. White pillars flanked the table, a giant sign hanging between them announced the event as, _ Mr. Love Island _. 

At the far end of the stage, behind a curtain, Bobby peeked out, as the girls seated themselves, with scorepads in their hands. Lili pulled strawberries out of the bowl and dropped one into Hope’s champagne flute, and one in Priyas on the other side of her. She ignored her own glass and instead nibbled on the hefty strawberry while the girls giggled and studied their score sheets. 

Gary, who was the master of ceremonies, as well as a participant, jogged to the stage and greeted everyone. The big man started off the swimwear round by stripping down to his red budgie smugglers, which honestly looked a little...stuffed. He rubbed oil on his chest and did some _ Magic Mike _ moves as he flexed. Once the girls stopped shrieking and giggling, Gary announced Henrik. After his glittery swagger, it was Bobby’s turn. 

“Next up, a master baker who’s sure to get your temperature rising...it’s Bobby!”

Taking a breath, he strutted out of the curtain and onto the stage. Priya’s strapless dress clung to him and he made sure to show off some leg through the high slit.

“Oh my days...” Lottie clutched at her chest. The girls started laughing uproariously.

“That’s my dress!” Priya cried out, nearly choking on a strawberry. 

He sashayed to the end of the runway, in front of the judge’s table and placed a saucy hand on his hip. “Glad you’re loving the show, ladies. I’ve been practicing…” He spun, pretending to lose his footing, and fell arse over teakettle off the runway and onto the ground half a meter below. The girls were in hysterics as he commando rolled to his feet and took a bow before them. The applause and whistles settled into his chest like a warm hug. Making people happy felt so good. 

He clambered back onto the runway and looked over his shoulder at Lili, giving her a wink, that made her howl with laughter.

Lucas went after him. He dove into the pool and emerged to do his runway walk sopping wet, his shorts clinging to him and water dripping over his sizeable pecs and down his well-defined abs. The girls lost their minds. Lili’s eyes were huge as she turned and whispered something to Hope, who cracked up. Ugh. Lucas was the worst.

When it was time for the talent portion, he heard Noah say Lili’s name from the stage, so he peeked behind the curtain again. Noah called Lili up and sat her down in a chair. He proceeded to pull her curls out of their usual buns and ran his hands through them, tugging at the snarls gently. With deft fingers, he pulled her unruly hair into a fancy side braid he called a “fishtail”. Lili ran a hand over it in amazement. He tilted her chin up and slid some curls out to frame her face. Bobby found himself jealous of those fingers in his girl’s hair. But he seemed to be alone. If Hope felt the same, she hid it well, beaming with pride as she applauded along with everyone else as Noah turned Lili around to show the braid off. 

The other guys did alright, except for Rocco. He actually felt a bit bad for the man. The girls gave him—and his yoga poses—the cold shoulder. Only Lili was kind enough to clap for him. 

Gary’s talent was entertainingly awful. Bobby had tried to talk him out of it, but he was adamant that eating an entire raw onion was the way to go. It wasn’t. Henrik twerked, and gold glitter rained from his chest onto the stage. Rahim of course somehow merged his talent for solving Rubick’s cubes with his ability to do sit-ups. Lucas bombed, as he blew an egg out of the shell and it hit Lottie in the face. Bobby had tried not to smirk when Lucas had trudged behind the curtain, looking embarrassed.

When it was his turn, he’d strutted back out in Priya’s dress, with a cupcake carefully tucked into a little bag pinned to the inside of the dress. It made him look...bulgy. He proceeded to do a magic trick, showing them an empty handkerchief. With a little help from a puff of smoke to hide the sleight of hand, the hanky disappeared and its place, he revealed the perfect chocolate cupcake that he’d made just before the competition began. It was still a little warm and he feared the buttercream might not survive the performance but it was holding up well beneath the mountain of pink sprinkles. 

“Where were you hiding that?” Lottie demanded. 

“Oh no, not the bulge…” Priya said. 

Lili snorted with laughter and it was beautiful. “Something sweet for someone sweet,” he said, as he sat the cupcake in front of her with a flourish. He left the stage to applause. 

Afterward, the guys huddled together congratulating each other on their hidden talents. While they readied for the last portion, Bobby took a moment to just stare off at the pool. It was going really well. Winning almost felt possible. 

When it was time for his speech, he strode to the stage with confidence. At the judge’s table Lili glowed, brighter than a shooting star, and it felt like it was for him.

“Someone once said, ‘You can’t hurry love.’ I’m pretty sure they must have been an amazing baker. It takes time and the right ingredients to craft the perfect pastry. The same goes for finding someone special. And when it comes to me, that special girl will always have a fresh pastry in her hand and a smile on her face.” Everyone cheered. “Thank you ladies!” He pointed to the cupcake still sitting in front of Lili. “Better eat that. It was made with love.”

After that, the guys simply had to wait while the girls discussed everything and then tallied up the points. Gary looked overly-confident, as did Lucas. Noah looked...stoic, his usual expression, but there was a little tension around his eyes. He wanted this win too. 

“Come on out boys, the decision has been made,” Marisol called. 

They lined up on the stage. Bobby grabbed Gary’s hand beside him. “We’ve got this, lad.” Gary laughed and grabbed Henrik’s palm, which started a chain reaction, until all the guys were squeezing each other’s hands tight. 

Hope picked up a sash and tiara from the end of the table and held it aloft to show off the prize. Priya stood and addressed them. “There was one clear winner. He was handsome, charming, and frankly, a revelation in his fashion choice. We all agreed he was the guy we’d most like to go on a date with. The most dateable Love Island boy is...Bobby!” 

“What?” he said. “Me?” 

He caught Lili’s eye and she laughed. “Yes you! Get down here, you smiler.”

He’d never won anything, not really. He wasn’t a lucky person nor was he unlucky. But this silly contest mattered to him, maybe more than he was ready to admit and he felt emotions surge up in a way that were, frankly, unacceptable in front of others. So his dramatic entertainer brain took over. He jumped up and down, screaming and then pulled Gary into a massive hug even though he stank like an onion. 

Afterward, he ran down the row of boys, shaking everyone’s hand and made his way off the runway and stood in front of Hope, who smiled broadly at him. She slipped a pink sash on him, and he fanned away fake tears as she sat the surprisingly heavy tiara on his head, pinning it into his locs. “Congratulations, babe. You earned it,” she said. 

His phone beeped and he pulled it out of the cleavage of the dress, earning another laugh from everyone. “I’ve got a text!” 

“‘Congratulations on winning Mr. Love Island. For your prize you’ll be getting a phone call from someone special.’”

Joy flooded him. Until that moment, he hadn’t realized just how much he missed his family and friends. “I can’t believe it! I’m going to talk to someone from back home! I wonder who it’s gonna be!”

Rocco clapped him on the shoulder. “Congrats, my friend. But you’ve got to give a speech before your call!” The islanders chanted, ‘Speech! Speech! Speech!’ and Bobby faced them, his smile so big it hurt his cheeks. 

“I’d like to start by giving a special thank you to Lili for helping me earlier. It would have been easy for her not to bother, but Lili isn’t the kind of girl to leave you in your hour of need. You can count on her to give you advice, boost your confidence, and be a mate when you need one.” He looked at her beaming face and let the words happen. “Just so you know, Lil, if there were a Miss Love Island contest, you’d get my vote. That special talent was too much…” He smiled and all the girls looked at Lili with curiosity. 

“Oh, wouldn’t you just love to know,” she said with a cheeky wink. 

He couldn’t recall the rest of his speech. Something about being cloned so he could take them all on dates? Whatever he said, everyone laughed and applauded. Excitement blotted out anything beyond that. He couldn’t wait to get his call. He was going to talk to someone from back home and show them his sash so they could see that he could hold his own in the villa. That he was enough. And he could talk to them about Lili. His fan. His cheerleader. His dancing angel. 

Pride lifted him off the ground and filled him with a glow so blindingly bright he floated like a will-o’-the-wisp into the villa, and all the way to the call room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you like this story, leave me kudos or a comment here or throw me a tweet @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are my preferred currencies. 
> 
> As always, thanks to Mon, Jolene, and Prim for reading me and soothing my neuroses. If you see any dumb mistakes, they're mine. If you see brilliance, it's probably theirs 💖


	25. Just Keep Me Where the Light Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So smooch. Such naughty.  
VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be taking a two week hiatus so I can get a little ahead of what I'm posting. Thank you for your patience, you won't regret it. Operation Nope is coming soon and it's gonna be fun. Or full of angst. MAYBE BOTH!

Bobby jittered with excitement as he waited for the video call. He adjusted his _ Mr. Love Island _ sash. 

The television screen popped on with a ping and there was the thin, pale face of one of his closest friends, Big Jonno, peering far too closely into the camera with his bulbous blue eyes. “Yaldi! It’s Bobby the celebrity!”

“Bobber Dobber!” His pal Nivaan, lead singer of the now-defunct, Paisley Cuddle, popped into frame.

Alfie, his close friend from the hospital, shoved Nivaan aside. “Boaby! Ya lucky fuck!”

Maitland, drummer of the yet-still defunct, Paisley Cuddle, screwed up her beautifully crooked face. “Move back, ya glaikit cunts!” she shouted, shoving everyone away from the screen. Bobby laughed as nine of his closest friends crammed into Jonno’s tiny front room, pushing and shoving like a pile of foul-mouthed puppies. 

“What’s that?” Fenella, Owner of the best cozy coffee shop in Glasgow, flipped her blonde dreadlocks over her shoulder and pointed at the screen. “You win something?” 

He held up the sash so they could see it. “The girls voted me most dateable boy!” 

“Ay, that’s pure barry!” Jonno said. 

Maitland rolled her eyes. “I’ve been telling you that for ages.” She’d long ago declared herself his mama bear, and as such was always trying to hook him up with girls. Which never stuck, much to her frustration.

“No, you say that I’m nice and relatively fuckable. It’s not the same.”

“It is too!”

“So you beat out Gary?” His best friend, Louis, asked. “I mean I love you Bobby, but those muscles…” He stared off into the distance. 

“Yes, I beat out Gary! You underestimate my charm.”

“Hmm?” Louis shook his head. “Yeah, yeah, charm.”

Dean laughed and elbowed his husband. “Whatever you do, don’t bring Gary around for a visit, Bobby. You’ll be cleaning Louis’s drool off our living room rug.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Bobby said. “So tell me, what’s been happening since I’ve been gone.” 

“Oh, ya know, the usual.” Alfie grinned. “Me and Innes are gettin’ merrit! Real classy affair. You’re gonna be my best man. And you can’t say no since you matched us up, just like you did Louis and Dean!”

“What?” Bobby leaned toward the screen, joy lighting him up. “Congratulations! Course I’ll be your best man! And I’ll bake your cake!”

“But you’ve got to promise to bring yer jo. Innes wants to meet that Lili. Says she’s the sweetest person who’s ever been dumb enough to go on reality telly.”

“Hey, what’s that say about me?” Innes didn’t like anyone. She said she found Bobby “tolerable”, which was as warm as she got. Lili must have been coming across like a dream to get something so close to a compliment out of her. “Speaking of...what do you all think of Lili?”

“She’s bonnie,” Fenella said. “No offense, but I keep hoping she’ll kiss Marisol and give me something _ good _ to fantasize about.”

“Honestly,” Dean said. “You two are so cute together. Everyone was talking about those baking puns! I don’t know where you’ll find another girl who can make puns just as bad as yours.”

“Don’t listen to him, I think you’re puns are great,” Louis said. He was an excellent friend. “I’ve never seen you click with someone like that before.”

“Yeah but…” Nivaan pierced Bobby with intense hazel eyes that always made the ladies swoon. “Do you really like her? Or did the show force you to pair up? Is it all an act and you’re just forming an alliance?”

Bobby rubbed at the back of his neck and laughed. “No alliances. I fancy her. A lot.”

“Whoo, I told you! He ain’t that good an actor!” Jonno chortled. “She’s a total catch, Bob.”

“Total catch,” Alfie repeated. The other heads bobbed. 

“Aw, her confessionals make me...” Fenella clamped a hand over her mouth. “I’m not allowed to tell you anything about those. I didn’t say anything.”

Jonno laughed and it made Bobby’s heart happy. He never thought he’d miss that wheezing snort, but he had. His friend knocked on the camera lens, leaving a smudge on it. “Hey, that lass is way too good for you, so you better not fuck it up.”

Said the guy who’d never had a girlfriend and didn’t care to have one. But Bobby just smiled and nodded. 

“Wheesht! She’s not too good for him!” Maitland pushed forward. Casting a malevolent eye at Jonno, she used her sleeve to wipe his greasy fingerprint from the lens. 

Bobby’s stomach knotted. If anyone’s opinion of Lili mattered, it was Maitland’s. “You--you don’t like her?”

“Didn’t say that. Stop bumpin’ yer gums and listen.” She leaned closer to the camera. “You’re one of the best people I know, and you _ deserve _ a girl like Lili. You deserve to look as happy as you do.”

Bobby swallowed past the sudden thickness in his throat, and smirked. “Mait, you sultry minx. Stop fallin’ in love with me.” She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, anything else I need to know?” he asked.

“Yeah, watch out for that Lucas,” Maitland said. “The fuckin’ dobber.”

“As much as it pains me to agree with someone who looks like a blue cockatoo...” Louis pointed at Maitland’s electric blue fauxhawk and she stuck her tongue out at him. “But she’s right. He’s a…” Louis crooked his fingers into quotation marks. “‘Fuckin’ dobber.’”

“Gorgeous dobber,” Fenella cut in.

“That makes it worse!”

Fenella nodded. “That’s truth. Now, Rocco…” She made a swooning sound. 

“Can you get me Priya’s number?” Jonno asked. 

Bobby shook his head. “She’s a foot taller than you and probably weighs more too, ya wee man.”

Jonno smirked. “I’m big where it counts.” 

Maitland snorted. “Fuckin’ gross, Jonno. And I know at least five girls who’ll disagree with that.”

“I can’t help that I’ve left a trail of broken, bitter hearts in my wake.”

“I’ve seen you in the shower at the gym,” Nivaan said. “That’s not why they’re bitter.”

“I’m a grower,” Jonno said, without batting an eyelash. If there was anything you could count on with him, it was loyal friendship and an endless stream of unearned confidence that bordered on insanity. 

Gavin and his twin brother, Gordon, his old schoolmates, both rolled their eyes. “You haven’t got any competition, Bob,” Gavin said. “People fucking love you! They’re calling you,_ Bobby Sweetcakes _. And you’ve got a couple’s hashtag! BobLi!”

Bobby grimaced. “Oof, not a great one. But I should probably be grateful that they didn’t go with LilBob. People might get the wrong impression.”

“I have also seen _ you _ in the gym shower,” Nivaan said. “Yes. It would be the wrong impression.” He frowned. “Why have I seen so many of your bangers?”

“I thought you being on the show thing was gonna end in disaster, to be honest,” Gordon said. “But now I think you’ve actually got a shot.”

“Thanks for the confidence, pal.”

“Hey,” Jonno said. “Got to tell ya, yer sister called me and made me recap the last couple episodes, because she said watching you and Lili eye-fuck from across the room made her uncomfortable!” 

“Oh. Yeah.” Bobby’s skin burned and he squirmed as Jonno snorted.

“So…” Jonno pressed his face closer to the camera. “Have you two…”

“No! No.” He waved the question away. “Next.”

They chatted about their jobs and love lives for another few minutes. Louis and Dean were still waiting for the paperwork to go through so they could adopt. Fenella’s coffee shop customers were threatening to riot if he didn’t come home and make them their chocolate croissants. Jonno claimed to have invented a new kind of cupcake. One with jalapenos. Bobby didn’t have the time to argue with him about that. 

All too soon, his phone pinged, letting him know the call was ending. Everyone waved and hollered farewells. Jonno started caterwauling the chorus to a Childish Gambino song about letting go and Maitland slapped a hand over his mouth. “Go win this fuckin’ show and bring that girl home,” she said. There was a beep and the screen cut out. 

He sat quietly for a moment, looking at the dark screen where his friends had been jostling and telling him how much they missed him.

He was equal parts ecstatic to be with Lili, and bitterly homesick. He missed his weekly shopping trips with Louis. Arguing about movies with Jonno. He missed Sunday meals at his mum’s house and Tuesday lunches with his dad, who still worked at the hospital, too. He missed texting his sister. And he sorely missed a bedroom that routinely only held one to two occupants. Well, three once, which was a story he’d never, ever tell Lili.

_ Bring that girl home. _

How would Lili fit into all that? His dad and sister would love her. His mum would be suspicious. She’d have to frequent his favorite outdoor markets, even on gloomy, chilly days--which were most of them. Fly out for yearly trips to see his nan, papa, aunties, and raucous cousins in Jamaica. Not to mention that, because of his job, she’d have to live without seeing him during much of the week, spending her days alone in a city where she didn’t know anyone...

Fek. In Birkenhead she had a home and a career. And so much more. A dance troupe, teaching, mentoring, summer camp programs. She couldn’t leave all the things that fulfilled her. That made the world better. The only alternative was him uprooting his life, leaving his family and friends behind to be with her. Which ripped him up to consider. How would they make it work?

Whoa. He ran a hand through his locs. They weren’t even a proper couple. He couldn’t be thinking about all that. He should be enjoying the moment. Thinking ahead just left him full of anxiety, which is why he rarely did it. But now that he knew what his friends thought, he couldn’t help but start rearranging the pieces of his life like a game of Jenga, trying to place her in it.

Slumping in his seat, he shook off the entire idea. Relationships had never lasted for him. It wouldn’t be any different with Lili. 

He blew out a breath and looked down at his sash. But he’d never won anything either. Until he did. 

He thought about the blazing intelligence in Lili’s eyes. The protective cocoon of her arms. Her voice, so steady and assured in her belief in him. 

That glow that warmed him like the summer. 

Maybe...maybe she’d last. 

## ***

Bobby was still floating happily as he reached for the makeup wipes on the vanity.

Gary peered in from the stairwell. “There you are!” 

“Here I am!”

“You must have still been on your call when we got the text. We gotta head to the fire pit.”

“What’s going on?”

“No idea. Nothing good, most likely.” He gestured toward the doorway. “C’mon, Bobs!”

“But I’m still wearing eyeliner. And some of Henrik’s glitter.”

“No time.” Gary tromped over and put his beefy hands on Bobby’s shoulders, steering him to the stairs. “You look great. Like a rockstar. Or a fancy pirate.”

“It’s weird how often those things intersect.” 

As the guys all lined up, Gary poured a handful of mints into his mouth and chewed them. He held the container out. “Want some?”

“Thanks but no.” 

Nervous laughter and a cloud of fruity perfume announced the arrival of the girls. “Bruv.” Gary swallowed and Bobby followed his gaze to Lottie, who wore a long snug black dress with a high slit that framed her thigh tattoos. “She’s a sort, isn’t she?”

Bobby tried to answer but the words stuck in his throat. The fire itself didn’t glow as bright as Lili. Her skin glimmered against a stark white mini dress, and her eyes sparked as she laughed at something Marisol said.

“Damn, you look gorgeous, Lil.”

“So do you,” she said, with a wink. 

Priya’s eyes rolled skyward. “For heaven’s sake, Bobby. I knew you’d still be wearing that sash.”

“I did earn this. You think I’m going to give up being Mr. Love Island before I have to?”

“You definitely earned it,” Lili said. “Keep wearing it, babe.”

He wriggled his brows at her. “Oh, I will.”

“Did you wear it while you were on the phone?” Lottie asked. 

“Obviously! And good thing. It was a video call.”

“Oh, who’d you get to talk to?” Lili asked.

“A bunch of my friends from back home! Nine of them all jammed into my pal Jonno’s living room. It was wild. My friend Alfie got engaged and asked me to be the best man!”

“That’s amazing, babe.”

“They all said great things about you, too! Said we made a nice couple, and that you’re a ‘total catch.’”

“Really? They said that?” Across the flames, Lili smiled at him, the radius of her glow growing bigger and bigger, until it surrounded him too. 

“I don’t want to take away from Bobby’s well-deserved prize,” Rocco said. “But does anyone have an idea why we’re here?”

Priya nodded. “Apparently the girls have an important decision to make and that’s why you’re all lined up. That’s all the text said.”

Lili’s phone pinged. She held it up, squinting, so she could see the screen, and he smiled. Her contacts weren’t as good as her glasses for reading and she always struggled a little when it got dark out. “‘Islanders, tonight the girls will decide which boys are the most and least likely to leave the villa with a girlfriend. Girls, you may discuss your voting as a group, but you will send your answers individually via text. The boys who…” she stared at the screen. “The boys who are voted least likely to leave the villa with a girlfriend will be vulnerable, and at risk of being dumped from the island.’”

The silence was heavy. 

“So one of the boys is getting dumped over this,” Lottie said. “After I got ditched for another girl, that’s only fair.” She glared at Rocco. 

“Let it go,” Marisol hissed. 

“Let it go? It happened yesterday!” 

And there went the peace. Bobby wanted to step in and ease them out of the argument, but he knew futility when he saw it. Once Lottie was on a roll, there was no stopping her. 

Lili gave him a weak, worried smile. He shrugged. “Nothing to be done about it, babe. It’s up to you girls now.”

Hope stopped the bickering long enough to tell the guys to fuck off to the lawn so the girls could discuss them. 

They filed out, Lucas and Henrik muttering to each other. Worry filled each boy’s eye, even if they were relatively safe. No one was voting off Noah. He doubted Lucas was budging either, despite the uneasy look on his face. Henrik was a good lad, but he hadn’t seemed to have made an impression on any of the girls. Priya had lost interest almost immediately. Gary was on the fence. Most everyone liked him and found him amusing, but he also just ate an entire onion as a “talent,” so his relationship prospects were suspect. Rahim. Hmm. That was difficult. He was so awkward around women. But he had the looks and money to land someone. Rocco--sitting cross-legged on the lawn, meditating--was the most likely to get cut. The girls were too mad at him to be objective, and honestly, he was too much of a rambler for anyone to think he’d end up with a girlfriend in the villa.

And then there was him. Lili would no doubt champion him, as would Priya. But he was aware that Hope and Marisol viewed him as a bit of a hopeless child, and Lottie was a wild card. Who knew what she’d do?

He joined Noah and Gary sitting by the edge of the pool. “Bob!” Gary said, brightly. “How’re you feeling about all this?”

He shrugged. “It is what it is.”

“You know…” Gary rubbed his hands on his muscled thighs. “I don’t think I got what kind of pressure Hannah was under during that dumping. Just sitting there, doing the maths on who might like her enough to keep her around. Knowing she’d probably be the one going.” He leaned his head back and sighed. “I feel bad about that.”

Noah slapped him on the shoulder. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” He glanced over his shoulder at Rocco who was now making a humming sound as he did some kind of intricate hand gestures toward the sky. “You’re not the one everyone’s gunning for.”

“Yeah, but it’s got to be two boys, right?” Gary asked. “We have two more boys than girls.”

That shut everyone up for a minute. Rahim joined them, and their nervous chatter turned to the weather, which made Bobby’s entire body itch. He reached up to scratch away the small talk, when his phone beeped. “We’ve gotta head back to the fire pit, so the girls can separate and vote.”

They trudged back as the girls dispersed to make their final decisions. Lili looked stressed and he grabbed her hand as she walked by, giving it a squeeze. The worry left her face for a moment and she squeezed back. 

“This reminds me of the time Johnny Hardman and Violet Man were both tied up by the The Breaker and they had to wait and see who Jessica Raines would choose to save,” Rahim said.

“Those are all words, but I have no idea what they mean in that order,” Lucas said. 

“He’s talking about graphic novels.” Noah said. “Comic books.” Lucas made a face and Noah’s brow lowered. “Don’t be like that. Research suggests that comics improve literacy, particularly in young boys who struggle with reading. We have a great selection in our library and…” he shrugged. “Comics are cool.”

It was the most Noah had ever said. No one knew what to say. But Bobby was willing to latch onto anything that wasn’t weather chat. “Who’d Jessica Rind choose, Rahim?” 

“Jessica Raines. And it was pretty cool. This was before Jessica became The Red Shadow and got her own comic, but she ripped off her belt and…”

He regaled them with tales of The Red Shadow and Grine Spelman and Glass Lion Man and all manner of off-shoot comics from Violet Man. Rahim was passionate about comics and his passion was contagious. Even Lucas looked interested. 

By the time the girls returned, the guys were laughing and more relaxed. Until Priya’s phone beeped. “‘Islanders, the boy who received the most votes, and that you think is most likely to leave the island with a girlfriend is…” she grinned. “Noah!”

Hope squealed and ran to Noah. He picked her up and kissed her. Man, those two were so theatrical. 

Lili caught his eye. He winked at her and she laughed. 

Hope picked up her phone. “Oh, it’s me!” She walked back to the girls. “‘The boys who were voted least likely to leave the villa with a girlfriend were…Rocco...Henrik...and…” she put a hand over her mouth. “Oh my gosh. Ibrahim.”

There was an ever-sharper intake of breath with each name. Holy hell. Rocco simply nodded, his expression accepting. Rahim’s shoulders slumped. Henrik blinked rapidly. “Not succulent,” he said.

Everyone began talking at once, but Hope held up a hand. “Guys, there’s more.” She swallowed. “‘The three boys chosen least likely to leave the island with a girlfriend will now face the public. Viewers will vote on the boy they want to have another chance at love. The remaining boys will be dumped from the island.”

“Are you serious?” Priya said. “My guy might be dumped and I’ve just got to wait and see?”

Beyond the raised voices, Bobby looked around and saw Rocco leading Marisol off toward the villa. His heart twisted for Marisol. She hadn’t done the right thing, but it did seem like she’d finally clicked with someone. 

“I feel like I only just got to know you lads,” Henrik said. “But it’s been an absolute pleasure.”

“Mate, it was an honour to be in the villa with you.” Lucas’s voice thickened with actual human emotion. “You don’t need to talk like that. We don’t know you’re going yet.”

“I don’t love my odds, to be honest. Coming in later meant working so much harder to make an impression, and clearly I didn’t.” He looked up at the sky and took a deep breath and then marched across the fire pit, straight to Lili. 

What the hell was he doing? Bobby tensed and everyone else quieted as they watched. 

Henrik took her hand and Lili’s eyes widened. “I always thought you and I had a bit of a connection.” She opened and closed her mouth. “If I do go,” he continued. “I’ll be disappointed we didn’t get a chance to get to know each other better.” 

Her surprise melted into a sad smile. “I hope you get to stay,” she said, softly. Bobby could barely hear her over the rushing in his ears. “I think we’d be good friends.” She slid her hand from his and gave his forearm a squeeze. 

“It’s nice to know someone’s on my side." Henrik smiled warmly at her. 

Bobby blew out a relieved breath. _ Friends. _ Adoration replaced his tension. Only Lili could handle such an awkward situation with that much grace. 

“Um, guys?” Lottie said, a frown twisting her blood-red lips. “Are we not even going to talk about who voted for Rahim to be dumped?”

This set off a heated exchange between Lottie and the rest of the girls about betrayal. Marisol and Rocco returned. Her makeup was smudged and her eyes red from crying. More arguing ensued when Marisol suggested that Lottie was a hypocrite. 

Lucas gestured for Henrik to follow him, his expression inscrutable. Henrik paused as he passed by Bobby. “Sorry,” he said. “I had to take my shot.”

Bobby shrugged, pulling his mouth into a lazy smirk. “You and everyone else,” he said. “But my lass is loyal.”

“Enjoy that. Loyalty is the only reason she’s still with you,” Lucas said.

“Whatever you have to tell yourself to soothe that ego.” Bobby never lost his smirk, despite the ping of anxiety Lucas’s words gave him. 

Henrik held up a hand. “Let’s not start right now.” He directed his glowering friend away. 

At the edge of the yard, Ibrahim was standing on the lawn, practicing golf swings with the empty air while Lili spoke quietly. She shook her head and stepped in front of him, stopping his swinging. Whatever she said, Rahim’s shoulders relaxed, and he nodded. She gave him a hug and the big man wrapped his arms around her a little too long before stepping back. 

Fuck his life. This girl...

Lili headed his way, looking sad and exhausted. 

“Hey beautiful,” he said. “Ready to get some sleep?”

She smiled wanly. “No. Not yet. I’m too--” Her eyes shone with unshed tears. “Ugh, I’m all emotional. I hate this.”

He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Let’s get in our pyjamas and go to the terrace. We can talk about it.”

She nodded and he led her by the hand upstairs. He quickly changed into his blue pajamas with dancing cookies on them. He debated keeping his sash but decided to fold it up neatly and put it in his closet. She went into the bathroom and returned in a grey crop top and a pair of matching bottoms.

“They still haven’t sent back my Cherrygate pyjamas,” she grumped. 

“You look bonnie.” Without breaking his stride, he scooped up a box of tissues from the vanity and led her to the terrace. He hung the red towel on the door handle. “There ya go, lass. You can cry in peace.” 

She sat on the narrow bench and he shook his head. “That thing is miserably uncomfortable.” He shoved the table aside and draped a blanket on the floor. He sat cross-legged and patted the space in front of him. She sat, crossing her legs gracefully. 

She was quiet for a moment. “I voted for Rocco as least-likely.” Her voice was raw. He nodded and didn’t speak. “If he goes home, it’ll be because of me.

“It’s because of everyone’s choice, not just yours, that put him in the bottom three. And if the public votes for him to go home, that’s on him. He seems like a good guy most of the time, but he didn’t handle any of this the way he should have.”

“But Marisol…” she sniffled. “What if I took away her only shot at love here?” She bent her head and tears landed on the blanket between them, darkening the fabric. “What if they could have had something, but now they never will?”

He stretched his legs out on either side of her, scooting closer. “Hey.” He wiped her tears away with his thumbs. “You can’t think like that. You’ll make yourself crazy here.”

“But Marisol’s my friend and I _ betrayed _ her. She begged me not to vote for him.”

He tilted her chin up. “It’s normal to feel conflicted about all of this, but you didn’t betray anyone. This is the game we all signed up for. There was literally no option that wouldn’t have made you feel this way.” He brushed away another tear. “I wouldn’t stress about Marisol. If you think she wouldn’t have voted me off in a heartbeat if it meant she could keep the person she wanted, you haven’t been paying attention.”

“You’re right. I know you are.” Sighing, she unfolded her legs and draped them over his thighs. 

“I am.” He tilted his head to catch her downcast gaze. “And as far as Rocco goes, let’s be honest. He’s not the long-term type, no matter how much Marisol wants to believe otherwise.”

Nodding, she sniffled and rubbed beneath her eyes. “Ugh, I make the most disgusting faces when I cry. You’ll never want to look at me again after this.”

“There is nothing ugly about you. Even if you had snot bubbles and sadness farts you’d still be perfect.”

“Sadness fa--That is not a thing.”

“Yes it is. Jonno has sadness farts.” He cocked his head to the side. “And happiness farts. Indifference farts. Haggis farts. Come to think of it, maybe he’s just gassy.” 

Her raucous laugh bounced straight into his chest. “Thank you,” she said. 

“For what?”

“For never making me feel stupid for being emotional.”

He grabbed a tissue and blotted away the tears on her cheeks. “Of course. And I’d like to have a stern talk with whoever made you feel that way. It’s a beautiful thing to have such a wide-open heart.”

“A dangerous thing too.”

“Ay, that too.” He poked the tip of her nose with the tissue. “But to get a pretty rainbow, you have to expect some slick roads.”

She huffed a laugh, but her smile dissolved like sugar in a warm pan. “I knew that it wouldn’t be you, but I was so worried...I…” Another tear trickled down her cheek.

He swallowed. She was worried that she might lose him? In his chest, the wind picked up all those colorful leaves, swirling them around so they floated like butterflies on the breeze. He gripped her around the waist and slid her closer. “Hey, I’m Mr. Love Island. I’m not going anywhere.” He pressed his forehead to hers, and stroked her curls, breathing in the scent of her shea-butter conditioner. “Though, it’s nice to know you care that much.”

Shimmying closer, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. It was slow and sweet and the leaves spiraled higher and higher. He stroked up and down the exposed skin of her lower back while their tongues danced like the flutters in his chest.

He pulled back. As much as he wanted every chance to touch her, he didn’t want to take advantage of her wobbly emotions. “Lil--” 

She cut him off, kissing him roughly, as if she couldn’t get enough of his taste. As if she were starving for him. She sucked on his lower lip, scraping her teeth over it, making him groan. Suddenly, she shifted, folding her legs around him and everything went from sugary milk chocolate to decadent dark chocolate liqueur.

He cradled her body in his arms and in one swift motion, laid her onto her back. Her dark eyes burned like falling stars and he fell with them as she dug her hands into his locs and pulled him in for another kiss. He stroked the sides of her neck, feeling her pulse beneath his fingertips. She wrapped her legs around his waist and ground against him, sending electric shocks through his body. Goddamn, he wanted to make her come so badly. 

Finding the last reserves of his reason, he reached up and grabbed the other blanket from the bench. She nodded and light danced behind his eyes. He shook it out and enveloped them in warm darkness. 

They found each other and kissed feverishly. He worked his way to her jaw and then her neck, burying his face in her skin and the sweet scent of her perfume. He stroked her nipples through the slippery jersey fabric of her top and she grabbed his wrists and pushed them beneath the fabric. 

Oh fuck. He shoved her top up and made hot trails over her soft skin with his tongue. He tugged on her nipple, pulling it deep into his mouth, finally tasting her the way he wanted. She writhed beneath him. Her hands curled around the back of his head, pressing his face to her breast, demanding more. He rolled her nipple between his fingers, pinching lightly. She gasped and tugged his head to the other side. He caressed and nibbled and sucked until he was drunk on her skin. 

Her hand cupped over his and pushed his palm off her breast, pressing it lower and lower, until his fingers grazed the edges of her pyjama bottoms. He didn’t need any further invitation. He tugged at her bottoms. She lifted her hips and he yanked them off.

He kissed her stomach, running his tongue over her heated skin as he slid his fingers inside of her slippery folds. She grabbed his wrist and arched upward, shoving them deeper. 

The light wave of desire that rolled over him nearly left him blind. He thrust his fingers home, over and over, his thumb working her clit. He could feel the coiled tension in her body, hear the ragged frantic rhythm of her breathing. She needed this so much.

With a fierce growl, she dug her nails into his locs, sending sharp shivers through him as she shoved his head lower. 

Euphoria burst like fireworks in his brain. He parted her thighs and he couldn’t wait, he couldn’t ease in with feathery kisses. He needed this as much as she did. 

He buried his face in her sweet, slippery heat. She cried out as he found her clit, circling and stroking it with his tongue. He pulled it into his mouth, sucking rhythmically. Hard and soft, hard and soft, until she was quivering and scratching at his shoulders. Her thighs tightened around his ears, muffling her whimpers. Suddenly she grabbed his head, holding him in place and her body surged against his mouth, muscles coiling and releasing, shudders rolling like summer thunder.

Her grip slackened, but he kept kissing, sucking, licking, until she weakly pushed at his shoulders. He collapsed beside her and pulled her into his arms, stroking her side lazily. 

“What about you?” she asked, her voice raspy. 

“I’m the happiest guy in the villa, maybe the whole world right now. Don’t worry about me.”

He felt her limbs relax and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Don’t fall asleep here. You’ll wake up with a backache.” 

Disappointingly, she tugged her clothes back into place beneath the coverlet, denying him a look at all that he’d just worshipped. He helped her to her feet. Keeping hold of her hand, he swept the blankets up with his free arm, and dropped them in the hamper before leading her to bed. 

They didn’t spoon. Instead she pressed her head to his chest, her ear against his heart, and he played with her curls until she drifted to sleep. But he couldn’t do the same. His body was rigid in every way, which wasn’t helping anything, but that wasn’t the cause. 

Never--not with all the months he’d spent with Davina, nor with Marie before her--had he ever felt this...this soft, aching powerlessness. This feeling of belonging to someone, not in body but in soul. It hadn’t been long enough to feel even a fraction of what he felt for her and he couldn’t tell if it was from the crazy-making villa or because of something else. 

If Lili frowned, it felt like a failure. When she smiled, it was a victory. He wanted to be near her all the time. He’d always been an independent lad. He valued space, but now he found himself seeking her out when they were apart for too long, something he’d never really done before. 

He believed she cared about him, but she was a walking heart, caring about everyone. And Lucas’s words came back to him over and over.

_ Loyalty is the only reason she’s still with you. _

What if Lucas was right? Was she with him because she wanted to be, or because she felt obligated? If she had the freedom to go after Lucas...or Henrik, would she? 

No matter what Maitland said, he knew he didn’t deserve Lili, so what would happen if someone came into the villa who did? 

He’d have to smile and let her go. 

He blew out a breath and squeezed his arms tightly around her. She stirred, opening sleepy brown eyes. “Are you alright?” she whispered. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said. “Go back to sleep, lass.”

She stroked her fingers over his forehead. “You’re scowling.”

“I’ve never done that.” He gripped her hand and kissed the side. “I just can’t sleep.”

Her exasperated smile made his heart spark. “Slide down a bit and come here.” She wrapped her arms around him, cradling him to her chest, and ran the backs of her nails soothingly up and down his neck. She kissed the top of his head and the steady beat of her heart slowed his. Her warm light melted the icicles of anxiety that had grown inside of him, until they pooled and trickled away, leaving his eyes damp. He clung tighter to her and in the magic of her reassuring touch, his forever-racing mind quieted. 

Behind his eyes, her light grew warmer. Brightness shifted, melding with purple wisps that curled and spread like smoke. Thoughts lost connection as he surrendered to some nameless gravity.

Falling.

Falling.

Falling.

Into the glimmering safe harbor of light below.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy hell this one was hard to write. I hope you enjoyed meeting Bobby's crew! I had great fun writing character bios and assigning faces to them for their big debut. If you like my work, please give it a kudo or comment. You can stalk and/or follow me @muggedoff4life on Twitter. 
> 
> Thank you to my personal crew, Primr0se, Throughthejunobush, and OfDogsandRoses. I just this very moment realized you all have plants in your user names. Huh. Never underestimate the power of themes.


	26. Toda Mi Vida, Se Abriga Con Tu Calor (My Whole Life Wraps Itself In Your Warmth)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll have a longer chapter for you next week. In the meantime, enjoy a sweet scene and a cheeky joke!

The bedroom was empty when Bobby woke up. Yawning, he headed upstairs to wash and shave, and then he went on the hunt for his lovely Lili. His day didn’t feel like it started properly until he kissed her. 

She was in the kitchen, wearing an adorable yellow bikini and a pair of denim cutoffs that hugged her ass. She hummed a happy tune and stirred something on the cooker. Hope stared at the pan and made a face. Lili laughed and shooed her away.

“It’s not for you!”

“Thank god for that.” Hope pulled thick slabs of golden sourdough toast from the mini-oven and laid it out on a plate. “Do you want me to butter these?”

“If you wouldn’t mind,” Lili said. “And cut them into triangles, like?”

“I’d ask what that boy did to deserve this, but I don’t think I want to know the answer.”

Lili smiled mysteriously and returned to stirring. Bobby’s heart swelled so big it felt like it might pop like a balloon full of confetti. The kitchen smelled tangy, like tomatoes and sugar. he breathed in and the scent took him back to happy days of sitting in the kitchen with his sister, making her breakfast before school. 

“Are those spaghetti hoops?” he asked, as he ambled to the counter.

Lili lit up brighter than the sun when she saw him. “Yeah. I found a tin in the back of the cupboard and I remembered you saying that you like them on toast.” 

“You’re making me breakfast?” He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his chin to her shoulder, overwhelmed by such a simple gesture. He couldn’t recall the last time anyone had cooked just for him. “Thank you.”

She leaned her head back and gave his cheek a squeaky kiss. “Yeah. Sit. I’ll bring it in a mo.”

He did as he was told, and watched her bustle around, reaching for silverware and arranging plates. She was so graceful, even in front of a pan of bubbling spaghetti hoops. 

“Hope, I made enough bangers for you and Noah. This is your plate.”

Hope gave a giddy whoop and squeezed Lili’s shoulders. “Love you, girl.”

She laughed. “Love you, too. Now, swerve.”

Hope left with a cheerful wave and Lili rounded the bar, carrying a plate and a steaming mug. She sat them in front of him. 

“Wow, you even put shredded cheese on top! Fancy!”

She pumped her fist. “Comfort and elegance. Achievement unlocked.”

He picked up his fork and paused, smiling. “I can’t believe you remember me telling you about this.”

Her smile wrapped around him like an electric blanket. She brought her own plate over and sat it down. Dippy eggs, toast, and bangers. 

“You’re not eating hoops?”

“No. It’s your comfort food, babe.” 

“You didn’t eat it when you were a bairn?”

“I did.” She hesitated. “It’s just that my family ate so many cold tins of that stuff, that it makes me sick to eat it now. Turns my stomach.”

Bobby blinked at the warm sauce soaking into the buttery toast. Sometimes he forgot that she’d had such a hard early life. She’d been homeless on and off, so eating tinned food was something you did, even if you didn’t have a cooker. His comfort had been her survival. 

He looked up at her. “And you made this for me anyhow?”

She scraped her teeth over her lower lip. “Oh. I’m sorry babe. I didn’t mean to make you feel sad. Cooking it is fine, it doesn’t bother me. I shouldn’t have sai—”

He reached for her, yanking her onto his lap. She gave a yip of surprise as she landed. The slow feathery kiss was all he could conjure to tell her how much it meant to him that she’d made him his favorite food even though it brought unpleasant memories for her. 

She made a rumble sound in her throat and stroked the back of his neck, returning his kiss. He held her tight, his chest filling and overflowing with emotion.

“Break it up, children.” Noah wandered into the kitchen, followed by a cheerful Henrik and a scowling Lucas.

“Daaaaad,” Lili said, not moving from Bobby’s lap. “Stop trying to ruin my life!”

Noah gave her a stern finger wag. “Young lady, as long as you’re under my roof, you’ll do as I say. Now no more canoodling.”

“You are a murderer of love!” Lili said, faking a tremulous sob as she climbed off Bobby’s lap and flopped down in front of her plate. 

“Kids these days,” Noah smiled as he sifted through the fruit bowl.

Love. He knew what she’d said was a movie reference, but why did the word love on Lili’s lips sound like music?

“Bobby?” 

“Hm? What?” He shook himself out of his thoughts. 

“Your hoops are getting cold.” 

“Oh yeah.” He dug into his food. It was delicious, and it bounced him through so many happy memories of jokes and laughter and bundling up his sister in too many scarves in the winter. 

Lucas sat beside Lili, stirring a bowl of porridge. He pointed toward Bobby’s plate. “What is that?”

“Spaghetti hoops on toast,” Lili said. “You’ve never had it?”

“No.” His nose scrunched up in distaste. 

“What’s your favorite breakfast, then?” Bobby asked.

He thought a moment. “French scrambled duck eggs with crème fraîche and white truffles on a bed of asparagus.” 

“You make that?” Lili looked intrigued. 

He laughed as if the idea were absurd. “No, love, I don’t cook. But my favorite restaurant, just outside of Cumbria, serves it. Next time I take my motorbike out that way, I’d love for you to go with me. I can give you a little taste of the finer things.” He leaned toward her, with intense eyes and a seductive smile. “There’s nothing there so glamorous as spaghetti rings on toast, but I’m sure they’ll have something...better. To tempt you.”

Bobby’s eyes narrowed. Was he seriously grafting on Lili right in front of him? Again? This had been going on for days and he was done with it. His agitation with Henrik from the night before spilled over into his deep well of ire for Lucas. They had gone well-beyond disrespect. 

They had reduced him to nothing. 

With slow, careless movement, Bobby tapped his fork on the plate. “So you’re inviting her to eat runny eggs with overpriced mushroom shavings on a bed of sulphurous, barely-edible vegetables? How romantic.”

Lucas blinked several times. “It’s a bit more elegant than that…”

“Is it? I suppose anything can be considered elegant if you charge enough for it and put it on fancy china.” He turned to Lili and affected Lucas’ nasal, clipped accent. “My lady love shall have a bowl of your finest duck sneeze soup with wilted clams. And if you’d be so kind, I’d love an order of fermented, undercooked ciabatta with a thin layer of goji berry jam. Yes, of course I’d like it festooned with gold leaf and moissanite shavings. And I know it’s already more expensive than a Lamborghini, but may I please pay double?”

A giggle shot out of Lili and she slapped her hand over her mouth guiltily. Standing at the bar, Henrik coughed to cover a chuckle of his own. 

“That was pretty good.” Lucas forced out an amused laugh. “Tell me, exactly how much time do you spend staring in the mirror, pretending to be me?”

“Oh, all day, every day,” Bobby said, cheerfully. “It’s my fondest wish to be a posh wank.”

Lucas’s arrogant smile slid away and a glint of razor-sharp anger shone from his eyes. Oh, he found the man’s temper. Good. 

Lili slammed her tea mug on the table, making everyone jump. The stony disappointment in her eyes punched Bobby hard enough to bruise. “Watching you two whip out the willies and tape measures is about as much fun as getting the stomach flu, so can you not? You’re putting me off my eggs.” 

Lucas flushed and looked down at the table. “I apologize. I’ll uh, I think I’ll eat on the terrace.” He grabbed his bowl of porridge and walked off. Henrik grabbed his granola and followed after Lucas, shooting Bobby an incredulous look. 

Noah gave Bobby’s shoulder a pat. “To be fair, he really is a wank.”

“Right?!” Bobby said, as Noah left the kitchen. 

Lili stabbed at her dippy egg with the sharp edge of her toast and then tossed the toast onto the plate, uneaten. Oh no. His anger seeped away. He’d upset her.

Without looking at him, she got up and started rummaging around the cupboard. She came back with a box of clingfilm and covered her plate. She scooped it up and tossed it in the fridge with a clank. 

He approached her quietly and pulled her into his arms. “Sorry, lass. I’m not usually so—” he shook his head. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

She was silent for a moment. “Babe, you had the right to say something to him. He’s being…” she shook her head. “I just don't enjoy feeling like a piece of meat pulled between hungry dogs.”

“You’re not a piece of meat.” He pulled back and stroked her chin. “You’re more like one of those gourmet chew toys. The expensive kind you can only get online.”

She stiffened and then a laugh sputtered out of her. “You’re such a knob.”

“And you’re the prettiest chew toy that’s ever been delivered to my doorstep.”

She smacked him on the arm. “Stop it. Stop being funny.”

“If I could, I would. It’s a curse, really. All this charm.” He pulled her close. “I’m joking, of course. You’re not a piece of meat. And definitely not a chew toy. I’m sorry for making you feel that way. I’m not a jealous person, but I don’t appreciate him grafting right in front of me.” 

The lie was bitter on his tongue. He was jealous. So. Very. Jealous. 

“I think he’s really upset about Henrik and it’s making him more of a meff than usual. That’s not an excuse though. I don’t like the way he treats you and it’s past time I told him. I don’t know why he insists on antagonizing you.”

The morning light caressed her arms and he traced the path of brightness up to her hand. He raised it up and kissed her wrist. “Because he likes you and he’s trying to prove that he’s better than I am.”

“Well, he’s not.” 

Bobby breathed out a laugh. “Yeah. He’s only more educated, better-looking, and rich. Come on, Lil.”

“You have to stop looking at him like that. He was born into wealth and he’s had more formal education, yeah. But you’ve proven yourself as talented and smart as he is, without_ any _ of the privilege. You’ve worked full-time since you were sixteen and between that and school you also _ taught yourself _how to be a boss pastry chef. And now, you bake for a living, while still working your hospital catering job. You’re brilliant and ambitious and I have no doubt that you’ll have a successful baking show someday.” 

Lava heat rose in his cheeks, making him break out in a sweat. She seemed to shine brighter and brighter as she spoke, making it difficult to look directly at her. 

“And as far as better-looking,” she continued. “Lucas is quite attractive. But you’re the most gorgeous boy I’ve ever met. He is not a patch on you.” She leaned back and looked into his eyes. “Not. A. Patch.”

He looked down at the ground and cleared his throat. “Did you quote, _ Dan in Real Life _ at Noah?”

She frowned. “I swear to god, Bobby…”

“I know. I...I can’t…” He shook his head. He was overwhelmed and confused by what she’d said. There was a part of him that wanted to believe her. Lili told the truth. She wouldn’t say it if she didn’t believe it. But his brain couldn’t latch onto it. Guys like Lucas _ were _ better. They offered more. More conversation. More excitement. Trips and gifts and all the time needed to make the world better. Just...more. Any girl would want that, but Lili, she _ deserved _ to have all the things she didn’t get as a bairn. She deserved duck eggs when all she had were tins of cold spaghetti hoops. She deserved to never worry about a roof over her head or whether there would be enough money to pay bills. 

Maybe she did mean every word, but that was only because she didn’t know how temporary all of this was. He could offer her cupcakes and movie dates. Maybe some laughs. For a while. Until she got bored and decided they were just friends. 

She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. Her perfume, the one she didn’t wear as often, filled the air with the scent of strawberries soaked in orange liqueur. It was fresh and cool and he breathed it in. 

It seemed an eternity before she spoke. “_ Dan in Real Life _ is one of my favourite movies.”

“It’s so good,” he said, relieved that she didn’t press the conversation. “Very underrated romantic comedy.”

She snuggled her face against his neck, tickling his skin with her nose. “El amor no es un sentimiento, es una habilidad.” The line from the film trilled off her tongue like a song.

His heart raced and he held her tighter. “Love isn’t a feeling. It’s an ability.”

She stilled within his arms. Despite the sounds of splashing water and raucous laughter coming from the pool, the air around them went silent. 

He was a volcano of emotions, overflowing with feelings he shouldn’t have breathed aloud. His ever-anxious brain burned beneath the heat of what had been said. And what hadn’t. He swallowed and studied her dark eyes. She studied his back. 

“It’s uh, it’s such a great line,” he said.

“It is.” Delicately, she pulled away and took a step backward. “So.” She cleared her throat. “What’s your favorite movie?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. Disappointment—in what exactly, he wasn’t prepared to think about— burned like toxic smoke in his head. “Um, go ahead and guess.”

She tapped her finger on her lower lip. “Is it animated?”

“Yeah. It is.”

“Is it..._Aladdin_?” 

He grinned. “Yes! How’d you know?” 

She leaned closer. “Because you named your willy, Genie,” she whispered.

“It’s not called that anymore. You ruined it.”

“Did I?” she laughed softly. “Is it The Lamp now?”

“No. I feel it’s time to move onto something more descriptive, but I haven’t come up with anything yet.” 

Her eyes danced in the shifting light. “Can I name it?” 

“I feel like you haven’t touched it enough for that sort of privilege. So if you want to name it—”

“I’ve got to get handsy?”

“Exactly. But like, _ really _ handsy. Maybe even...mouthy.” He flushed at his dirty joke. 

She clasped her hand over her mouth, muffling the laugh that shot out of her. Once she had herself under control, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and her perfume surrounded him like an embrace. He shivered at the tickle of her breath on his ear. “Well,” she whispered. “Let’s see how the day goes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this. You give me life 💓 If you like what I do, leave me kudos or a comment or throw me a tweet @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are my preferred currencies.
> 
> Thank you to Prim and Jolene for reading this several times, and also for loving my version of Noah 💖 You'll get that one-shot, I promise 🔥🔥🔥 Also thank you to OmiKaul for providing me with the best emoticons (◠‿・)—☆
> 
> Oh, and if you're not familiar with Dan in Real Life, go watch it. It makes me so happy.


	27. The Fear Before the Flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my. This has a lot of ADULT FEELINGS. Viewer Discretion advised.

The day thus far hadn’t leant itself to anything so grand as Lili getting _ mouthy _ with Bobby.

It was mostly Lottie having a prolonged fit about Rocco and Marisol, who’d given up any pretenses and were openly grafting. He didn’t blame her for being upset, but it was afternoon and she’d spent all day snarling and demanding everyone to pick a side. It was both exhausting and pointless. 

“What do you even care?” Priya asked, sliding her sunglasses off her nose to pierce Lottie with her dark eyes. “You didn’t even like him that much. And now you can finally crack on with Gary.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Lottie’s mouth twisted. “Gary and I aren’t...don’t be stupid.”

Gary stiffened in the lounger beside Bobby. 

“Oh come on,” Priya said. “We’re not blind. You two are doing everything but peeing on each other to mark territory.”

Lottie shot to her feet. “I’m bored now.” She stomped to the villa and Gary watched her go, hurt passing through his blue eyes like storm clouds. Poor lad.

“I’m going to…” Gary clambered to his feet and wandered off to the gym.

“You’re just a cat knocking things off the table, aren’t you Priya?” Lili reached for her sun cream but Bobby beat her to it and gestured for her to turn over. 

“Some things need a good swipe of the claws.” Priya’s gaze landed on Noah and Hope racing each other in the pool. “Like those two. If someone doesn’t do something, one day they’ll end up with five kids and a mortgage in some crumbling old terraced Victorian, wondering what happened to their lives.”

Bobby massaged the cream onto Lili’s back, enjoying her soft murmurs of contentment. 

“I don’t think Noah would mind that life to be honest,” Rahim said. “But I wouldn’t bet on it happening.”

“Ooh, do you have tea to spill?” Priya sat up excitedly.

“Tea? Not exactly. I know he really does care for Hope. But I do think there’s someone here who could turn his head if she wanted to.”

“Noah barely speaks to anyone, who could he…” Bobby trailed off. Beside Hope, there was only one person in the villa that Noah joked around with, giving her his rare smiles. 

Priya slapped her hand on Rahim’s arm. “Tell me! Tell me!”

“Honestly? Um, I think Lili could.”

Lili tensed beneath Bobby’s hands. “What?”

“I don’t—he didn’t say that. Not like that. But I can tell he…” Rahim coughed. 

Bobby laughed to cover the abject misery trapped in his throat. “That’s my girl, stealing every heart.”

“Noah and I are friends,” Lili said. “He’s never been anything but a gentleman. I think you’re reading too much into things.”

Rahim ran his big hands over his cornrows. “I’m not good at speaking, but I’m good at listening. I think I’m right.”

Bobby popped the cap back on the sun cream, irritated with the entire turn of the conversation. Lili had far too many admirers.

She took the bottle from him and opened it back up. “It’s your turn.”

He rolled onto his stomach on the lounger. It was warm from Lili’s body heat. She started at the back of his neck and massaged the cream into his skin and his tension melted away. She moved onto his shoulders and he sighed contentedly. Priya and Rahim started chatting about golf and he drifted off, not really asleep but not awake. He stayed there, floating between worlds, the sun baking him, Lili’s hands massaging the backs of his arms and legs. 

“Roll over babe,” she said softly. 

He turned onto his back and forced his eyes open. Lili sat between his thighs and massaged cream onto his limbs first, and then his chest, running her fingers along his collarbone, her eyes bright and hungry. She leaned over, straddling his waist and worked the stuff into his neck and then gently massaged his face. Her bikini-clad breasts bounced as she worked and he couldn’t stop his hands from roaming her waist and hips. She laughed and glanced around self-consciously. Priya and Rahim had abandoned them for the pool, which was where the rest of the villa was. 

He stroked his fingertips over her cleavage and she bit her lip. “I’m warm, are you warm?” she asked. 

“Very,” he murmured.

“I bet the bed sheets are nice and cool right now.”

His hands stopped their roaming. “Oh, I bet they are.”

She grabbed him by the wrist and he followed her to the villa. They fell onto the bed and he kissed her neck. She sighed with pleasure as he pulled the covers up over their bodies and let his hands roam more freely. 

He glanced toward the doorway and saw the cameraman roaming through the sitting area. “We’re about to have a visitor,” he whispered.

“Dammit.”

“What do you want to do?” He tugged on one of her soft curls. “Give the people something to see or be boring and hope he goes away?”

Her sigh was long and filled with frustration. He laughed softly. “So...boring?”

She nodded and he rolled to the side, going for a sweet kiss rather than the heat he’d been craving. “Did I ever tell you about the time I made cupcakes for a duchess?”

“No. I want to hear all about it. _ In detail _.”

The cameraman hung around while he told an incredibly anti-climatic story about making a bad batch of cupcakes that a duchess loved, but he couldn’t recreate. Bored, the camera guy wandered out of the room. 

He pulled the blanket back over their heads and kissed her. “You know if we want to win, we can’t be boring. The people want the jokester and the girl-next-door to be entertaining.”

“You’re more than a jokester. And I really hate the title of girl-next-door. What does it even mean? To be virginal and untouchable, like? Because I’m neither.”

“You’re very touchable.” He cupped her breast, his thumb brushing her firm nipple. “It means you’re beautiful, but approachable. Friendly and sweet and oh-so-very tempting.” He kissed her ear. “Someone who’d be a good partner and someone a guy wants to bring home to his family.” He nipped at her lower lip. “Someone perfect.”

She stiffened. “I’m not perfect.”

“I disagree,” he said, tracing his tongue to her cleavage. He pushed aside her bikini top and wrapped his lips around her nipple. Her soft intake of breath spurred him on. He drew it in, pulling hard and then scraped his teeth over it. “You’re the most amazing girl. Brilliant and beautiful. Strong and kind. You’re absolutely perfect.” He growled against her sensitive skin as he licked his way down her stomach and around her belly button. “An angel.” He tugged off her shorts and bikini bottoms and spread her thighs. He stroked and found her wet and throbbing. “A goddess.”

“Wait!” she whispered. She pulled the covers off her face, probably to check that they were still alone. She threw them back over her head. “We don’t have long, maybe we should just—”

He opened her up and slid his tongue inside of her. She gave a squeak of surprise and then moaned, long and low. He lapped at her, long hot strokes as he cupped her breasts, fingers tugging at her nipples. He teased, licking everywhere except where she needed. She grabbed the bedding and arched into his mouth greedily. Laughing, he finally stroked his tongue over her clit. She shuddered and goosebumps rose on his arms as the pleasure of tasting her washed over him. 

“So sensitive,” he moaned softly. He tugged on her clit, drawing it into his mouth and she gasped. For a few minutes there was no sound beyond her ragged breathing. She quivered and made a sound of distress. Not wanting to hyper-stimulate her, he backed off on the pressure, but she dug her hands into his locs. 

“No, don’t stop!” She threw a hand over her mouth, muffling the cry that erupted from her throat. She was closer than he realized. He’d been enjoying her body too much to pay attention to her cues. 

He lifted his head. “You want more, lass?” 

“Please. More.” Oh fuck he liked those words, spoken low, and pulled deep from inside of her. He pushed her legs flat on the bed, spread like butterfly wings and went back to pulsing suction. He kneaded her thighs and she bucked, whimpers escaping as she pulled even harder on his dreads.

She flailed for purchase and shoved her arms out of the blanket covering them, pressing her palms to the cushioned headboard. A peek of light shone through and for a moment he could see her beautiful face, eyes closed, wet lips parted. Getting to see her like that was such a turn-on. He arched his hips against the bed and shivered at the rough friction of it. 

Using the force of her hands on the headboard, Lili pushed into his eager mouth. He held her legs down and her heels dug into the bed, muscles trembling. He sucked and released over and over until her hushed cries sounded like music. “Oh, Bobby, I—Oh I—” Warm wetness, delicious as honey coated his tongue and she gave a strangled sob, her body convulsing from the force of her release. 

He lessened the pressure but didn’t stop, drawing out her orgasm, making her quake. When her hands fluttered to push him away, he kissed her all over, from her thighs to her delicious labia. She had one arm thrown over her eyes, chest rapidly rising and falling, soft moans still spilling from her lips like sugar water. Despite his intense ache of need—an ache he’d been ignoring for days—he thrilled to see her so undone. 

Shining with pride, he fell beside her and shoved the blanket off their heads. Cool air rushed over him and he sighed happily. His eyes adjusted to the light and he froze. 

Lucas stood in the doorway, a bottle of sun cream tucked under one arm. There was no telling how much he’d seen or heard, but judging by the tenting of his khaki shorts, it had been enough. They stared at each other as Lili’s whimpers consumed the silence. Lucas swallowed. Spinning on his heel, he marched out of the room. 

Lili, sweetly oblivious to what had occurred, rolled onto her side and nuzzled Bobby’s neck, purring like a contented cat. He put his arm around her. He probably should have been more mortified to see Lucas creeping on them, but he’d just made his girl come her brains out, and he hoped to hell the Horse’s Ass heard every cry and moan.

A soft wandering hand slid into his shorts and found his stauner, making him forget that Lucas existed. “My turn,” she said, as she slid beneath the bedding. Ohhhhh, he felt the warm wetness of her tongue on his stomach, circling his belly button. She pulled on his shorts and he whipped them off, making her laugh. His body was primed, his cock at attention. 

“I’ve been a tiny bit scared of doing this,” she whispered. “You’re quite thick.”

“You don’t have to…” he said, losing words and meaning as she pumped him with her hand, skin to skin. 

“I want to. Otherwise you won’t let me name it.”

He laughed despite the pressure and heat building inside of him. Fuck, he wasn’t going to last long. “Give me your beautiful mouth and I’ll let you name all my parts.”

She pushed back his foreskin and he could feel her hot breath on him. Her tongue traced along the sensitive ridge of his head. “Oh god,” he moaned, arching toward her lips. Every muscle in his body was tight and ready. Her mouth enveloped the tip— 

“Got a text!” Noah shouted. “It’s a couples challenge!”

She stilled. Tears of frustration threatened to pulse from his eyes. He needed this so badly. “Goddamit, I swear to fuck they do this on purpose.” 

“I’m so sorry, babe.” She sighed and reached for her bikini bottoms and shorts. 

Swearing, he yanked on his breeks and tugged her in for a kiss. “I need a minute to wash up and cool down.” Rolling from the bed, she stood and turned to go, but he pulled her back to get another kiss. She turned again and he pulled her backwards and smacked her ass. “Would you get out of here already?”

“I’m trying!” She laughed and rushed out of the villa. 

By the time he made it outside, clean and under control, everyone was already racing for the challenge stage. He followed along and got the details from Lili. It was the Mean Tweets Challenge. As couples, they had to guess who the tweets were about. Brutal. 

No one likes to hear nasty things about themselves and the whole thing turned into a blur of hurt feelings that ended with Lottie storming off in one of her many huffs, and Gary getting called out for kissing someone—clearly Lottie—the night Hannah left. Which led to Marisol becoming indignant that she’d been treated like a monster for kissing Rocco when Gary had cheated on her the very night they’d paired up. Such drama. 

As always, Lili nailed nearly every one of the answers, winning them a date in the hot tub with a bottle of champers. It was good to be her partner.

“Just what we needed after a long hot day,” he said as he climbed in. “An hour in boiling water.”

Laughing, she gracefully slid in beside him. “Yeah, now I know what it feels like to be a lobster.” 

“Well, you are delicious.” He picked up the champagne bottle and eyed it warily. “I wish I could say I was the type to coolly pop this, but I’ll probably knock out a cameraman...or you. Or me.” 

“I got you, babe.” She grabbed it and popped the cork. It flew into the air, landing in one of the potted trees that partially-obscured the jacuzzi from the rest of the yard. Champagne spilled over into the water and she yelped. 

“Chug it!” he hollered. 

Laughing she put the foaming bottle to her lips and caught what she could. Champagne drizzled down the front of her, soaking her bikini in sticky alcohol and making his cock wake up from it’s heat-induced lethargy. 

She picked up one of the plastic champagne flutes from the edge of the tub and rolled her eyes. “There’s no point in pretending to be posh now, is there?” He shook his head and she sat the cup aside, drinking straight from the bottle, before handing it to Bobby. 

They cuddled together and passed the champagne back and forth. “So those mean tweets,” he said. “I feel like we have a much better idea of what the public thinks now. It’s like, you forget all the cameras in here. Not just the cameramen, but…” he glanced up at the camera mounted on the tree limb. “I’m suddenly aware of them again. Especially after that tweet about Hope playing Noah.”

She took the bottle from him. Setting it aside, she turned and nodded for him to continue. He loved the way she did that. Always giving him her full attention. 

“It’s funny, but people on the outside see more stuff than we do,” he continued. “But they don’t see everything, either. Do you reckon some of those tweets were onto something?”

She thought a moment. “They were hit or miss. The one about Rahim was...well, he is rubbish at talking to girls, but he’s also interesting and funny in his own way. So I don’t think they’re seeing who he really is.” She splashed her fingers in and out of the water. “But the one about Marisol…I’m not sure if they meant she was too good for Rocco or for Gary. Either way, it looks like the public was seeing a lot more than we were.”

Oh, that one. 

Cold fear had trickled down Bobby’s spine when Gary read that card aloud. “‘You can do better than him, _____!’”

Lili _ was _ a billion times better than him, but he didn’t need the world saying it aloud. She had noticed his nervous clacking of the chalk on the chalkboard, and immediately reassured him.

“Babe, it’s not me and you.”

“Course not!” he’d said. “I mean look at me. If anything, you’re punching above your weight.”

Laughing, she’d reached behind him and stroked her nails up and down his neck, just like she’d done when he couldn’t sleep. It was comforting and he found himself relaxing into her faith. She had seemed genuinely confident that it wasn’t about them. And she’d been right. It was about Marisol. 

“Some of those tweets were just mean for the sake of being mean,” Lili said, pulling his attention back to the moment. “The one about me was vile."

She was so right. “‘Little Miss Perfect is the worst. _____ acts so nice and above it all, meanwhile she’s leading on every guy in the villa. Fake-ass thot.”

All the islanders had been taken aback by the viciousness of it, despite the theme of the challenge. Henrik was the first to speak, rubbing his hands together and looking uncomfortable. “I don’t think it’s true, but I can see how maybe someone might think that of Lili. From the outside.”

A few people had nodded awkwardly. “How can you say that?” Lottie's snarl cut through the silence.

“I’m not saying I believe it! I know she’s not like that. I’m just saying, I can see how…” he’d trailed off and ducked his head. “I’m sorry, Lili.”

“I—don’t, I’m not…” Her hands fluttered like crestfallen butterflies and the hurt in her eyes had splintered Bobby’s heart. 

Unsure what to say, everyone retreated to their chalkboards. He’d looked at her, unsure how to navigate the game or how to answer. “Babe, what should I…” he began.

She had stared at the ground, her jaw tight. “Just put my name.” 

He shook his head. “No, maybe they’re talking about...um…” He couldn’t come up with anyone. The other girls were sweet in their own ways, but objectively, no one was referring to Lottie, Priya, Hope, or Marisol as acting “nice.”

Without looking at him, she’d slid the chalkboard from his hands and wrote her name in big stiff square letters and handed it back. 

The silence had been heavy as each couple revealed their boards. Everyone had chosen her.

“And the correct answer is Lili,” Hope said, looking guilty. “Everyone gets a point.”

With crossed arms and a hurt expression, Lili had said nothing. 

So Bobby had cleared his throat. “Can we all agree that trolls who call girls “thots” in order to demonize their sexuality, are garbage people and we shouldn’t give them more of our attention?” Everyone had nodded and Bobby had clapped his hands together. “Alright then, next tweet! I hope it’s about Noah twerking on the daybeds. Lil missed out on that one.”

Noah had grinned. “We can’t have that.” He’d crossed the stage and twerked in Lili’s direction, chasing off her hurt, until she’d laughed and pushed him away. The mood had lightened dramatically after that. Until the whole Gary and Lottie thing anyhow. 

He could tell the tweet was still weighing on her, as she quietly glared at the churning water of the hot tub. “It’s not the first time that’s been said about me, you know. _ Little Miss Perfect. _” She spat the words out. 

“Well they said it meanly, but you are basically, perfect.” He stroked her cheek. She pulled away. 

“No. I’m fucking not.” Her eyes flashed with anger. “And I don’t lead people on. I wouldn’t do that. I’m not fake.”

Her dark expression grew tendrils of anxiety around Bobby. He’d never seen her so upset about anything. “I—I didn’t mean anything bad by it.”

“I know. It’s just…” She was quiet a moment before sighing heavily. “In foster care all I wanted was for someone to want me. To see that I was worth…” Her jaw tightened. “Worth holding on to. I was driven by this anxiety to always be cheerful, happy to help, get good grades. To be perfect. And when I went from home to home, I thought it was because I wasn’t good enough.” She shook her head. “Living like that, it’s a prison of shame with walls that just get smaller and smaller. You end up pushing everyone away because even if they care about you, it’s only because you’ve tricked them into never seeing who you really are.” She absently slapped her hands on top of the water, splashing them both. “It took me a long time to find my way out, but I’m me now. I’m real. That perfect girl was a shadow and I’m not her anymore."

He sat quietly trying to understand what she meant, but he felt like he couldn’t quite grasp ahold of it. Why would she ever have to try to be perfect? She already was. “But...you were worth holding onto, Lil. You still are. You’re amazing and smart and so—”

“That’s not wha…” She stared at him for a long moment, her eyes soft and searching. She opened her mouth as if to say more but reconsidered it. Shaking her head, she reached for the bottle. “That’s more than enough of me whingeing.” She took a drink and passed it to him, her smile returning. “What about you? That one tweet said you were the biggest player of the season ‘Even more than Rocco.’ Did they have the full picture?”

He tapped his nose. “Magicians never reveal their secrets.”

“So they were right? You’re playing me?” Her voice held its usual playful tone, but there was a thread of worry in it.

“No, they weren’t. I don’t know what they saw that made them think that. I can be flirty, but I don’t play games. When I’m with someone, I’m all in.”

She looked up at him through long dark lashes. “Is that right? Are you all in?”

He pulled her close. “Are you?”

Her kiss was all the answer she gave and he melted into her sparkling wine warmth. 

They kept drinking until the bottle was empty and they were both flushed and giggling and too sloshed to care about the cameras. He pulled her to him, kissing her hotly, champagne cascading from one tongue to the other. Beneath the water he ran his hands over her soft curves, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. They stayed locked together, kissing and laughing, until the shadows stretched long on the lawn and his phone chimed, letting them know that it was time to leave the jacuzzi. 

Her hair was frizzed from the steam and she was a little wobbly on her feet. “Come on, Lili Lightweight,” he said, helping her down the steps. 

She squeezed his hand. “Alright, Bobby…” she let out a tiny burp and giggled. “Bobby Bae? Boo?” She grabbed him around the waist and pulled him toward her. “Bobby Beautiful.” Her sweet kiss set his heart ablaze. 

“Ay, you’re proper minced, lass.”

“Does that mean _ bevied up _, like?” she said. 

“No idea. Does that mean drunk?”

“Ya, la’, proper bevied up!”

He laughed. “You get so much Scousier when you’re drunk.”

“Is right.” She leaned toward him and rested her head on his shoulder. “I don’t get bevvied much.”

“Why’s that?”

“Me ma and da were always getting one on and then swinging at everyone. So I don’t do it unless I feel safe, like.”

He stroked her cheek, feeling warm all over. “You feel safe with me, then?”

“Pure safe.” She nuzzled his neck. “I trust you, Bobby Beautiful.”

Only Lili had the power to say things that absolutely ruined him in the best ways. He lifted her chin and kissed her. A sexy little sound rumbled in her throat and she deepened the kiss. His hands wandered down her back and over her ass, giving it a squeeze.

“Hey lovebirds,” Hope said, as she approached, her expression grave. “Hands off each other. It’s uh, time to get ready before the…thing.” 

The dumping. Fek. His mood popped like the champagne bubbles rumbling in his stomach. He let go of Lili and smiled at Hope. “My angel here is blitzed. Please don’t let her fall down the stairs.” 

“Not an angel,” Lili said with a smile. She hooked her arm through Hope’s. “Can you take me to where the nibbles live?”

Hope’s frown rounded into a smile and a laugh. “Oh lord. Yes I can.”

“Wait!” Lili swung around, throwing her arms over Bobby’s shoulders. She smooched his cheek loudly. “I might be all in,” she whispered. Then she grinned and the world spun merrily for him as Hope tugged her away. 

## ***

Bobby was relatively clear-headed by the time everyone gathered at the fire pit and sat. 

Rocco, Henrik, and Rahim were already there, standing at the other side of the flames, hands clasped in front of them. The silence was thicker than the fog of cologne hovering in the air. 

Marisol sniffled and stared at the deck. Lottie stared up at the sky, her mouth screwed up in misery. Priya blew a kiss at Rahim and he cracked a small smile. Lili, still looking a touch minced, grabbed Bobby’s hand. He raised it and kissed her knuckles. Lucas, sitting on the other side of Lili, crossed his leg, one foot jouncing violently over his knee.

Noah’s phone beeped and everyone jumped. He let out a slow breath before reading the message aloud. “‘Islanders, you’ve had your say, and now so has the public. It’s time to say goodbye to two boys.’” 

Rocco didn’t look bothered. He adjusted his many necklaces, a blissful smile in place. Henrik swallowed, his mouth sagging in resignation. Rahim looked like the droopy old hound dog Bobby once had. Her legs weren’t strong enough for leaping, so she’d sit at the end of the sofa and stare at him with pleading brown eyes, begging to be lifted up. Exact same expression.

“This is proper brutal,” Gary said. “Read the rest already.”

Noah glowered at him. “They haven’t sent it yet.” After a moment, his phone buzzed again. “Okay. Here we go. ‘The first boy to be dumped from the island is…’”

Hope reached over and gripped Marisol’s hand. Lili patted Lucas’s clenched hand on his knee. Rahim squeezed his eyes shut. 

“‘Henrik,’” Noah said. Henrik hung his head.

Lucas’s shoulders dropped. “This isn’t fair,” he said. “You didn’t get a chance to show—” He huffed out an angry expletive, and Lili put a consoling hand on his shoulder. 

Before Bobby could overthink that, another phone beeped, and Priya stepped forward. Her hands were shaking as she tried to read the screen. “‘The second person to be dumped from the island is…” She took a shuddering breath. “‘Rocco.’”

Rahim’s six-foot five frame nearly folded in half. He breathed into his knees before standing up. Still breathing heavily, he turned and hugged Rocco. “I’m sorry man.”

“It’s alright, friend,” Rocco said. 

Henrik’s phone went off and he batted away tears as he read it. “‘Henrik and Rocco, your time in the villa has come to an end. You have thirty minutes to pack your bags and say your goodbyes.’” 

Everyone got up and crowded to hug the boys. Lili stayed back and Bobby rubbed her back soothingly. Goodbyes were so hard for her. She leaned against him and her grateful smile turned his heart sideways. Lucas who?

After many hugs and kind words, Rahim slapped Rocco on the back. “Come on, lads. I’ll help you both pack.” 

“I’ll help too,” Gary said.

The packing went fast with so many hands helping. Too fast. Soon, everyone crammed into the front doorway of the villa to hear the boys’ goodbye speeches, before waving them off. 

Beside him Lili was quiet, but he could feel her emotions churning like a tropical storm. He wanted to reach for her, but Lottie had latched onto him, clutching his arm and crying on his shoulder. He found himself holding her while she sobbed. He gave Lili an apologetic smile and she nodded as if she understood. Which, maybe she understood better than he did, because he honestly couldn’t figure out Lottie’s emotional outburst. Yes, she’d lost her partner, but she hadn’t seemed that into him and had been a bit put out with Rocco even before he’d snogged Marisol. And it was clear she liked Gary and he liked her. So why the theatrics?

They all headed for bed, feeling drained. Lottie’s tearful whimpers echoed around the room and she wouldn’t let go of him. Bobby sat on his bed and held her while she carried on. Lili sat down on the other side of her and Lottie turned and flung herself from Bobby’s arms to Lili’s. 

She stroked Lottie’s platinum and pink hair. “Oh babe, is it because of Rocco or because of Henrik?”

Bobby tried to make sense of that. Why would Lottie have cared about Henrik? 

“B-both,” Lottie whispered. “I just...I told you, this is my only shot.”

“We’ve talked about this. Neither of those boys were your only shot. Anyway, you’ve got a better option now.”

“I know, but everyone will…” She choked back another cry.

“Lozza, stop being a drama queen,” Lili ordered. “No one will care, babe. You’ve just gotta be honest.”

Lottie let out a shuddering breath. “Maybe." She pulled away and flopped down between them. "But can I finish drama queen-ing since I've already started?"

"Yes. Finish up. I’m looking forward to the ten-minute window between this episode and the next one." Lili gave her a cheeky smile.

“Ha!” Lottie snorted and sat up. She wiped at the mascara dribbling down either side of her nose. “You’re right. Okay, I'm done feeling sorry for myself."

"Good." Lili dropped her voice to a whisper. "Go take off your makeup and snog him proper. You've both done enough penance.”

Lottie nodded and hopped off the bed, giving Bobby a quick thank you squeeze for sopping up her tears with his now-stained shirt.

Bobby grabbed Lili and pulled her closer. “It’s going to be weird without those guys here, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Who’ll make those disgusting wheatgrass smoothies now that Rocco’s gone?” 

He gave her a squeeze. “Hey I like those!” 

“I know you do, and it’s a good thing you’re cute because your smoothie tastes are beyond questionable.”

Suddenly Priya raced from the bathroom, jiggling in her flimsy nightie, with toothpaste all around her mouth. She held up her phone. “Guyth, I goth a teth!”

Lili cracked up. “Babe, spit your toothpaste out!” 

Priya rushed back into the bathroom and reemerged with a clean mouth. “Guys, I got a text!” Her eyes glittered with excitement. “OMG! ‘Islanders, tomorrow there will be a girls’ choice recoupling. #makeyourmoves.’”

Everyone exchanged looks. Girl’s choice? He turned to look at Lili who stared back with wide eyes. 

Hope sat up in her bed. “But everyone is happy with their current partners, right?”

“Not necessarily,” Noah said. She gave him a look and he held up his hands. “What I mean is that Lottie and Lucas would have to couple up for the sake of the others. They may not want to do that.”

Hope’s eyes widened, and she cast anxious glances around the room. But Noah grinned and kissed her forehead. “Don’t worry yourself, duck.”

An argument began, because no night in the villa was complete without an argument. This time about whether the good of the group outweighed self-interest. Lottie put an end to the argument by snarling at everyone for talking about them like she and Lucas weren’t there. Lucas for his part just shook his head and left the room. 

Bobby put an arm around Lili’s shoulders. “I’m so glad we’re solid.” Then he hesitated. “We are solid, right?”

“Well, we’re not gasses,” she said with a tiny smile. 

“Oh ho, now you’re stealing my jokes! Is that where we are?”

“Yup. Your cheeseball lines are mine now.” She kissed him on the cheek. “I’m going to get changed.”

“Me too.” He ran to the bathroom and did the same. A couple minutes later, Lili floated downstairs in a pair of cute black pyjamas with white hearts all over. Her black framed glasses perched on her bare face. So lovely. She was making her way to him, when someone called her name. She turned toward the sitting area outside of the bedroom. 

Bobby leaned a little to the side, to see. Lucas was on the couch out there. On graceful bare feet, Lili turned and walked toward him. She frowned at whatever he said, but he gripped her wrist and her stance softened. Sighing, she sat down beside him. They were too far away and speaking too softly to be heard from the bustling bedroom, but he watched, nervously studying their body language. 

Lucas didn’t look his usual smug self. His shoulders were slumped and his eyes tired. He was holding a pillow and gesturing to it. Lili looked concerned and she rubbed a hand across his shoulders. She leaned closer and spoke for a moment. He raised his head and they were so close. He stroked Lili’s cheek, and ice trickled in Bobby’s veins, freezing him in place. 

She stiffened and pulled away. Lucas grabbed her hand and whatever he said, it stopped her from getting up. Her mouth softened and she tilted her head, focusing on him. Bobby’s stomach clenched. Lucas spoke for a bit, still holding her hand, his thumb rubbing her knuckles. Finally, Lili pulled her hand from his. She pushed her glasses up on her nose and spoke nervously. Lucas scraped his hands through his hair and listened. Then, they sat for a moment, neither of them speaking, before he nodded and got up, walking out of the villa without looking back.

Lili watched him go, worry creasing the space between her brows. Taking a breath, she rubbed her hands on her thighs as if soothing herself, before heading to the bedroom. Bobby looked away. She crossed the room and tossed herself into the bed beside him.

Bobby’s body felt like it was full of bees buzzing unpleasantly. "What's wrong, lass?"

She glanced toward the doorway and sighed. “I’m just—worried about Lucas.” 

"Yeah, he seems pretty upset." Bobby turned onto his side and looked at her. 

“He was talking about leaving.”

“The show?”

Yeah. He feels like he’s not…” She considered her words. “He’s not making the connections he’d hoped to make and now with Henrik gone, he’s lonely." She threw her head back. "He's quite different one on one, you know. He can be such a div, but when you just sit and talk to him, he's quite...sweet. And I think he’s here for the same reason we’re all here."

Bobby didn't like the direction this was going at all. "Where is he now?”

She hesitated. "I— He went to sit outside for a while. He wanted me to go out and keep him company but..." she shook her head. 

Terror at the thought of Lili and Lucas being alone nearly choked him, and it was followed by a rush of red pulsing resentment. It was hard to get one-on-one time in the villa, even with your own partner, let alone someone else's. Clearly, Lucas wasn’t above playing up his misery in order to get Lili alone for a bit. With the recoupling coming, maybe he thought he could convince her to be with him instead. 

"After Henrik, I'm the person he feels closest to in here," Lili said quietly. "I feel awful but I said no. I tend to give people more chances to be decent than they deserve, but I’m not going to do that at the expense of us." She bit the inside of her lip. "He’ll be fine."

Despite his anger, Bobby couldn’t help but light up at her referring to them as a unit. Us. He held onto the word and tried to fight through his jealousy, though it was like fighting creeping vines with a butter knife. 

Us. Us. Us. 

The lights were nearly out. Lili stared at the ceiling unmoving. He reached over, slipping her glasses off her face and sitting them on her nightstand. "Thank you, babe.” The distance in her voice chilled him.

He pulled her close and kissed her softly. "He'll be fine, lass. And I'm glad you're here right now. With me. I need you to kiss me goodnight and cuddle me up." It felt naked to say something so needy, but the words were already falling from his lips. "I don’t get good sleep without you."

Her far-away look dissolved and she stroked his locs, smiling. "I don’t either." Her kiss was sweet, and he needed more of it. She was warm and pliant in his arms as his tongue found hers. He slid a hand beneath her top, massaging her breast and she suddenly stiffened. 

The wood floor creaked as Lucas crept back into the room. He sat heavily on his bed, his back to them. After a moment, he slid beneath the covers. Lili’s face pinched up. “What if he quits the show because of…” Her eyes were swimming with guilt, and she didn’t finish the thought.

Bobby pulled back and stared at her in the dying light. Frustration and jealousy and annoyance all fighting for dominance in him. He was kissing her—touching her—and she was worried about Lucas? Who'd been nothing but a dobber to him since arriving?

He thought about Lucas touching her cheek. Stroking her hand. For the first time, he considered the entirety of that nasty tweet. _ Lili acts so nice and above it all, meanwhile she’s leading on every guy in the villa. _

Was the public seeing something that he was ignoring? There _ were _a lot of interested guys floating around her all the time. And hadn’t she flirted with him when she’d been paired with Rahim?

No. No. That was because she had fancied him. She hadn’t led him on, not once. Had she? She said she'd told Rahim that she liked him. But he never checked up on that. What if he was ignoring reality because he so badly wanted to believe that he was special? 

Maybe she couldn't stand the thought of not being the one Lucas leaned on. Maybe she kept Lucas in her back pocket, telling him that he was amazing and wonderful and gorgeous the same way she did to him. Maybe she was debating who to choose.

He needed to believe that wasn’t true, so he kissed her again, urgently. The last of the light ebbed away and soon, their bodies were rocking quietly together, his stauner pressed against her leg, his mouth on her breast. Her contented sounds comforted his frazzled emotions and urged him to make his way to the edge of her pyjama bottoms. He kissed her through the silky fabric and then pushed at them, but she didn't raise her hips. 

He kissed back up to her ear and nibbled the soft skin behind it, tracing his tongue over her mysterious tattoo. "I want to taste you again, Lil," he whispered.

"I—" He couldn't see but he could feel the shake of her head. "I'm really tired, babe. You deserve all of my attention, but right now I’m—I think I just need to sleep."

"Of course." He rolled beside her and waited to see if she wanted little spoon or big spoon. She chose neither, curling into a ball that left no invitation for further touch. 

Disappointment and fear settled low in his belly, but he kept swiping at those vines. It was fine. It didn’t mean anything. It had been a long emotional evening for everyone, and it was natural for her to be exhausted. 

She would choose him. She would. 

Somewhere in the room, over the din of snoring, there was a creaking bed and some soft moans. Bobby lay there, his cock aching, his mind racing as the moans grew louder and more frantic. 

Maybe Lili simply felt guilty because she liked to help people and couldn't stand the thought of not giving it her all, even if was for someone she didn’t really like.

Or maybe she felt guilty because she wished she were in bed with Lucas. Talking. Laughing. Kissing. Getting more from him than Bobby could ever give. 

He pulled his pillow over his face and swore silently into it, hating himself for his jealousy. 

He lost track of time as the creaking of the bed intensified, and rough masculine groans kept time with it. Maybe Lili was laying there imagining that it was her and Lucas. That they were the ones beneath the covers, and he was making love to her, pumping deep into her softness and warmth. Enveloping himself in her bright light. Making her cry out his name as she came again and again, until she forgot the freckled jokester she used to be coupled with.

A low, deep moan of pleasure floated from the noisy bed, followed by a breathy giggle, and then the room was silent.

Bobby reached over to Lili and stroked her shoulder. He didn’t need bits, but he ached to simply touch and be touched by her. To feel connected. But she pulled tighter into her ball and didn't speak.

The creeping vines of jealousy wrapped around him, squeezing tight, cutting off his air. He kept carving away with his barely serrated knife, but with every slash, a new grasping tendril reached for him, adding to the pressure. 

It wasn't until the first hint of light peeked through the blinds, and the bird chirps grew in intensity, that he finally gave up the battle, letting the vines overwhelm him, and sank into a restless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this. You give me life 💓 If you like what I do, leave me kudos or a comment or tweet me @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are my preferred currencies.
> 
> Thank you to Primr0se and ThroughtheJunoBush for being the best betas a writer could ask for. And thank you for always assuring me that I do--in fact--write endings for my chapters. Also, thanks to my Scottish text-to-speech voice in MS Word, which cannot pronounce "thot" and thus, made me laugh quite a lot. Lastly (Jesus what is this, my Oscar speech?) thank you to my lovely reader Chichi, who rubbed a magic lamp and wished for Lucas to see Bobby and Lili in flagrante delicto. Your wish is my command 🔥😂


	28. One Minute There was Road Beneath Us, the Next Just Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some gropes. Some naughty jokes. Some butterscotch chocolate chip oatmeal cookies.

Bobby woke up groggy and anxious. He brushed his teeth and showered, feeling half-alive. There was no sense of time in the villa, the phones didn’t even have clocks, but he guessed that he’d only gotten about two hours of sleep. Lili was gone when he got up and he hadn’t been able to find her anywhere, which only spiked his anxiety. 

He had no idea what had happened the night before. Things seemed so great. They’d kissed and cuddled and done bits and she said that she might be _ all in _ with him. And then Lucas said something to her about wanting to leave the villa and after that she’d completely shut Bobby out. 

His stomach churned when he remembered her turning away. He didn’t truly think Lili was a liar, but maybe she had feelings for Lucas that she wasn’t ready to admit. He rubbed his head and groaned. It was time for a brew. 

He bumped into Lottie on his way to the kitchen and she was moping about, looking like his little sister when she’d lost her Barbie doll in the sandpit. He couldn’t stand the fog of sadness she was spreading throughout the villa. 

So, he baked. 

First, a batch of cupcakes and then while they were cooling, a batch of oatmeal butterscotch chocolate chip cookies. And while those were cooling, a batch of homemade croissants drizzled with honey butter.

Baked goods didn’t solve problems, but they did make things feel better for a little while. 

He hid the cookies, piled the croissants prettily on a tray, then set it in the middle of the table. After, he turned his attention back to the cupcakes and decorated them with rainbow waves and little fondant dolphins. It didn’t take long for word to spread and soon the entire villa had descended like locusts on the platter, leaving nothing but a pool of honey butter and a few flaky bits of pastry behind. 

But no Lili. 

He sat the platter in the sink, and walked out of the kitchen, pretending that he was there to stretch and not to search for his missing partner. Hope and Noah were playing with a beach ball in the pool. Priya and Marisol were on the daybeds. Rahim, Gary, and the Horse’s Ass were all working out at the gym. Lottie was curled up in a sun lounger, one hand on her forehead, looking tragic. 

“Hey!” Hope waved toward the villa and Bobby followed the direction of her gaze. His chest tightened as Lili gracefully sauntered to the yard and waved back. 

What was she wearing? Instead of one of her sexy bathing suits, she had on jean shorts and a black t-shirt that was snug across her chest. He squinted his eyes to read it. ‘Real men eat cupcakes.’ 

All of his apprehension was knocked aside. He’d seen her in tiny bikinis that made his pulse go mad, but for some reason, the sight of her in his shirt did even more for him. Maybe he’d been overthinking everything with her and Lucas. When a woman wore your clothes, she wanted to be yours. 

Hope gestured for Lili to join her at the pool but she shook her head and kept walking, heading toward the kitchen. Bobby skipped backward, nearly tripping over his own feet and attempted to look busy with the finished cupcakes. 

She stopped when she saw him. “Oh, hey,” she said, tentatively. 

“Hey.” He nudged the cupcakes that were already perfectly ordered on a plastic tray. “Are you alright? I was starting to worry about you.”

She cast her eyes down, looking guilty. “Yeah, I’m sorry, babe. Got a text and I had to go to the beach hut for a confessional. And after, I just...needed some time to myself.”

“Okay,” he said brightly. “Well, I’m glad to see you.”

Her smile was so soft and lovely he blinked to protect his tired eyes from it. She crossed the kitchen and reached for him. He quickly wiped his hands on a towel and wrapped his arms around her, feeling the morning’s tension ebb away. This was what he’d missed the night before. She pressed her face to his neck and sighed. 

“Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?” he asked.

“No. No. I’m...I’m okay.” She pulled back. “I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed right now. I’ll be fine.” 

“Is it...am I making you fee--”

“No babe!” She stroked his cheek. “You’re amazing. It’s not anything to do with you.”

Then it was Lucas. Lucas had made her feel some kind of way and she had needed the morning. That could mean anything. He sighed and looked down at the words on her top. It had to mean something too. “You’re wearing my shirt.”

She tugged at it. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t ask before putting it on! That was so rude of me. I’ve been a little off since I wok--”

He grabbed her and pulled her in for a kiss. She melted into him and laughed giddily as he pushed her against the fridge and kissed her again and again. He slid a hand beneath the t-shirt, stroking her stomach. “This shirt on you is doing things for me.”

“I can see that,” she said. 

His hand slid a little higher on her stomach, and his mouth dropped lower, kissing the soft skin under her jaw. She made a rumbly sound of enjoyment. 

With ease, he slid a knee between her legs and pushed them apart. “Am I going to have to start calling you, Cupcakes?” he murmured in her ear. 

She gasped and shivered. “That’s a nickname you’ll have to earn calling me.”

“Mmm, that’s fine. You happen to be my favourite dessert.”

Her moan unraveled his brain like a licorice twist. She kissed him hungrily and sucked the tip of his tongue. His hips jerked at the delicious sensation and he pushed closer. Her laugh was husky and hot. She reached between them and gave his cock a few slow surreptitious strokes. “I do believe you owe me a meal of my own.”

All the blood rushed from his brain. He gripped her hips and pulled her to him. “Bedroom,” he growled. 

Her eyes brightened with excitement and she nodded. He grabbed her hand, eager to get them back to where they were yesterday afternoon. But Lottie wandered in looking wan, and they both froze. “What are you two up to?” 

“Nothing,” Lili said, far too quickly. Bobby struggled to keep his smirk at bay. 

“Are those dolphins?” Lottie asked, pointing at the cupcakes on the counter. 

“Oh yeah! They’re for you! I know that dolphins are your favourite and you were feeling down so…”

Lottie’s eyes filled with tears. She yanked him into a hug. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s done for me. Thank you!”

Bobby arched his hips backward, to avoid rubbing his still pulsing stauner on her, and patted her back. “It’s no problem.” She held him for a really long time. He caught Lili’s eye over Lottie’s shoulder, and she raised an amused eyebrow at him. 

He threw his arms out to his sides in a ‘what-can-you-do?’ gesture. 

“How did you make these!” Lottie said, releasing him and grabbing one of the dolphins off the rainbow icing. “Show me!” 

“Oi, no mangling my creations!” he said, placing the dolphin back into place. “I’ll show you.” 

He gave Lili an apologetic look and she pouted playfully at him in return. Shrugging, she turned as if to leave, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her back. The whole villa would benefit from him lifting Lottie’s spirits. But being around Lili would lift  _ his  _ spirits. Maybe he could have both. “Oh no you don’t. You get over here.” He lifted her up and plopped her onto the clean back counter. “You Houdinied on me enough today. Stay there.” 

Lottie was still poking at the dolphin with her dark nails. “Stop it,” he said. “Here.” The leftover fondant was still on the counter. He grabbed a handful and handed it to her. “I’ll show you how to make one. But first…” He turned and grabbed the cookies from their hiding place in the lower cupboard and pulled one out. He smiled at Lili. “You told me the other day that Lauren’s oatmeal butterscotch chocolate chip cookies were your favourite.”

She arched an eyebrow at him. “Oooh, you are a brave boy.”

“I’m confident.”

“Hmm. We’ll see. I have exacting cookie standards.”

He folded a cookie in half and fed it to her. Her brows rose and fell as she chewed, her eyes sparkling. “Oh my god, how did you manage it? Lauren is never going to forgive you!” 

“Hey, this is what I do best.” He fed her the other half. 

“Oh my god,” she moaned. Rapture filled his heart...and other parts. 

But he also had a Lottie to cheer up. So, he turned back around to find that she’d made a little witch hat with a curvy brim. “That’s cute but it’s not today’s lesson.” He grabbed some more fondant and rolled it into the shape of the dolphin’s body and made the crude start of a snout. “Like that, see?”

He glanced behind him at Lili, who was eyeing the cookie container and probably calculating her chances of whether he’d notice if she took another. He got the milk and poured a mug full and handed it to her, along with another cookie. “I’m watching you, lass. You can’t be trusted with baked goods.” 

She blinked big innocent eyes at him and dipped the cookie in the milk. 

When he returned to Lottie, she was shaping a pretty decent dolphin and looking happy for the first time all day. A rush of pride washed through him. “That’s great!” He took it and shaped it up a bit and then handed her the food coloring and a ragged detail brush he’d found in the drawer. “Paint it. Go mad.” 

Lottie squealed and set to work. He spun and caught Lili slipping a cookie from the container. He raised an eyebrow at her and she grinned. “You knew what this was.” 

He put the cover on the container and shoved it back inside the cupboard, before sliding his hand into Lili’s hair and pulling her face close so he could taste the butterscotch on her lips. She giggled. “You are a man who knows how to multitask.”

He wiggled his eyebrows at her. “You already knew that.” When he checked on Lottie, she was gleefully painting her dolphin black. 

The slap of giant feet on the decking distracted him as Noah wandered up. He was soaking wet from the pool. “Hope is requesting the presence of one Lili Clarke-Reyes in the pool for a game of beach ball volleyball.”

“Oh, no thank you,” she said. “Not today.”

“You have met Hope right? She doesn’t exactly take no for an answer. Are you really sending me back to tell her that?” He gave Lili a pleading look.

“I don’t feel like swimming.”

Grimacing, he nodded and returned to the pool. A conversation ensued and then his giant paddle feet returned to the kitchen. 

“I’m supposed to tell you...” He cleared his throat. “‘Girl, get over it and stop shaming yourself for being attractive.’” 

“What?” Bobby gave Lili a confused look but she didn’t make eye contact. 

“I’m not shaming anything, I’m just not comf--” she shook her head. “Hope has a big mouth. No.”

“Okay well, there’s a recoupling today and I have to make my duck happy, so I hope you can forgive me for this.” Noah took three huge steps toward Lili and picked her up, tossing her over his shoulder like a sack of flour. 

She laughed and shrieked. “Nooooo!” 

He turned around and shrugged. “Sorry Bobby, I’m stealing your girl.” 

“Just as long as you bring her back.” 

“You have my word.” With that, Noah made his way back to the pool and gently sat her on her feet. He gestured to Hope, who swam to the edge of the pool. Lili laughed and shook her head. 

“Lottie,” Bobby said quietly. “Do you know what Hope meant about shaming?”

“Uh-huh,” she said as she painted silver stars on her dolphin. “Partly. That mean tweet has her all knotted up about seeming like she’s leading the guys on. Then there was something about Lucas.”

Bobby’s back tensed. “What about Lucas?”

“I don’t know. She was telling Hope something this morning but she pulled her head in when she saw me. Priya was snooping too. She might have caught more than I did. Lili doesn’t usually gossip or keep secrets so it must be juicy.” Lottie spun the dolphin around on a scrap of waxed paper and showed it to him. She perched the now-purple witch hat on top of it’s head. “What do you think?”

“Looks great,” he said, absently. “Sit it in the fridge and let it dry. It’ll keep for a while. And take a couple cupcakes. But don’t mangle any in front of me. I put a lot of work into them.” 

Lottie squealed and slid her dolphin in the fridge. She grabbed three cupcakes in her slender hands and bent to kiss Bobby’s cheek. “Thank you again for being so sweet. You really are the best.” 

She took off for the villa and Bobby went to talk to Priya, who was chatting with Marisol on the daybed. 

“Hey Bobby!” Priya said. “Something smells amazing over in the kitchen.”

“I made cupcakes and cookies. The croissants are all gone.”

“Busy boy.” Priya stretched out and watched him closely. “What’s that look?” 

He hesitated, not wanting to create gossip. Priya could be trusted to a certain extent, but Marisol enjoyed creating gossip havoc upon occasion. As if Marisol read his thoughts, she stood up. “I’m hungry. I’m going to see if there’s any fruit in the bowl.” She wandered away and he sat down next to Priya.

“You’re making a very un-Bobby face. What’s up?”

“Lili’s acting a little strange and Hope said something about body shaming? I was wondering if you know anything about what’s going on. Lottie thought it might have something to do with Lucas, but she didn’t know more than that.”

“Mm,” Priya nodded. “I overheard her talking to Hope but I didn’t catch much. Something about feeling guilty? And she was worried it was her fault? I don’t know.” She gave Bobby a stunner of a smile. “Are you worried about the recoupling?”

“No, no, not that,” he said. “Just trying to understand.”

“Eh, maybe she’s just moody. Happens to the best of us.” Priya stretched out. “You two seem like you’re doing well, though.”

“You think? Has she said anything about us?”

“She’s said a few things. But honestly Bobby, you’re boring me.” She leaned over and looked at him intently. “Ask what you want to ask. I’ll _ probably _ keep it to myself.”

He sighed. “Does she fancy Lucas?”

Priya laughed. “Not that I’m aware of. Now ask the real question.”

“Does she--” he frowned. “Does she still fancy me?”

“Oh my god, boys are so stupid.” Priya shook her tawny hair back. “Yes! She fancies you!”

He sat up straighter. “Yeah?”

“Bobby, she practically has little cartoon hearts fluttering around her when she talks about you.” She chuckled. “Earlier the girls were talking about making the perfect boy out of the ones here and she got all flustered about it and said it would basically be all your parts. Face, arms, chest, legs, hands. Though to be fair all the girls chose your hands. Even Hope.”

He beamed. “They really are great, aren’t they?”

“Yes, but my point is that she adores you. It’s so disgusting.”

He absorbed that. She didn’t wish for any part of him to be different? Not Rahim’s abs or Gary’s beefy arms or Lucas’s face? 

Priya jabbed him in the shoulder with her finger. “I do have to ask, though. Don’t you think you’re moving fast? You’re both getting awfully lovey-dovey for knowing each other less than two weeks.”

“And you’re not moving fast? I do believe you and Rahim were getting lovey-dovey last night.” 

Priya didn’t look embarrassed. “We were both happy that he wasn’t eliminated, so we celebrated. Not my fault the bed is noisy.” She grinned “Anyway that’s just having a good time. You don’t have to catch feelings to do that.” Her eyes narrowed. “Just…don't put all your eggs in one basket. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Priya.” He gave her a slow smirk. “Are you hoping I’ll leave an egg out for you?”

She looked him up and down. “I’ve never made it a secret. There’s always a spot in my basket if you’re interested.” She shrugged. “But you’re not. I can’t compete with the paragon of virtue that is Lili.”

“Paragon of virtue?” He shook his head. Even though he often thought of her as being an angel, he could still recall the feeling of her tongue when it had brushed his cock. Then there were her cheeky smirks and dirty jokes. “She’s not as innocent as you make her sound.”

“No I suppose not. It’s more of an...what did Rocco call it? An aura. She’s so good and  _ sincere. _ ” Priya wrinkled her nose. “She’s wonderful and honestly, it’s exhausting being around someone who makes you feel bad for being a greedy, sexed up human. You know?” She got a mischievous glint in her eye. “Not as innocent, huh? Have you been making your bed noisy?”

“No! No! Not...like that.”

“Liar! Look at those pink cheeks!” Priya howled with laughter. “Tell me something good! Is she one of those girls who doesn’t make any noise? Just lays there politely thanking you for your service?”

“What? No. I mean we’re not...completely there. I mean just...no.”

“Lottie swore she heard a lot of noise out on the daybeds the other night, but I thought she was exaggerating.”

“Just stop.” He felt supremely uncomfortable with discussing the details of what he and Lili got up to, and more so, discussing it to feed Priya’s amusement.

“We’ve all been taking bets on how long before you two bump tummies. Hope and Noah, of course, got there before anyone.” She rolled her eyes. “But you two are always snogging. Lottie’s sure you’ve already done it. I think it’s just snogs and bits. But you two have definitely done some big bits, right?”

“I’ve got to clean the kitchen,” Bobby said. 

“Oh come on! Tell me something!”

“No, because you’ll run around and tell everyone!” 

“Of course I will! Some gossip is just too juicy for friend-code.”

“Bye, Priya.” He hopped off the bed and headed back to the kitchen. 

“You’re no fun!” she shouted. 

“You take that back!” he hollered before rounding the corner. 

He stopped and his chest filled with light. Lili had her head down, concentrating on the bowl she was washing. The entire kitchen was clean and tidy and she was piling dishes on a towel to dry. 

“Aww, lass, you didn’t have to clean up after me!” 

She looked up at him and the softness in her eyes melted him like licked ice cream. “You baked me cookies, I cleaned the kitchen. That’s a fair trade.”

“I’d bake you cookies no matter what.” He walked over. “Besides it’s the girls’ choice recoupling today. Shouldn’t I be the one trying to impress you? Let me finish this.”

“I’m not into those kinds of power games. You know how I feel about you. Anyway, I’m almost done. You can dry if you’d like.” 

Did he know? Sometimes he thought he knew. And he always hoped. He tucked away every sweet gesture and kind word like the best cards in his primary school Pokémon deck. One by one, he'd pull them out to battle the voice in his head that insisted he wasn't good enough for her. And every time he seemed to come up one card short.

He started wiping down the dishes with an annoyingly cheap dish cloth that didn’t want to sop up the damp. She concentrated on the wooden spoon she was scrubbing. “Bobby?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry about last night.”

He grabbed a different, fluffier towel and dried the mixing bowl. “I’m not entitled to bits or cuddles, Lil. You can always say no. I’ll never be mad about that.”

“I know. It's just..." She looked upward as if searching for the right words. “I worried you and I'm sorry for that.”

“Ah, okay. So I worried you by worrying about you because you were worrying.” He kissed her shoulder. “No worries.” 

She rolled her eyes and laughed. So he started humming “Hakuna Matata,” and by the time they finished the dishes, they were singing a full blown--if slightly off-key--musical number. 

Giggling, she hung up the wet towels. “There.” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and gave him a smooch. “Aw, you look so knackered, babe.”

“Yeah, I didn’t sleep well again. I don’t know what’s going on with me.” He pulled her tight against him and ran his hands up and down her back. “But I’m not too tired for some alone time with you.”

“Mmmm, that does sound good. But I think you need to sleep more than you need to snog.” She nuzzled his nose with hers. “Want to take a nap on the daybeds with me?”

The buzz he had gotten from cooking and feeding and making people happy had faded. He yawned widely. “That sounds fantastic.”

She led him to the now abandoned daybeds and peeled the bedding back. “Get in there, pastry chef.” They both climbed inside of the sun-warmed sheets and she wrapped her arms around him. He nuzzled his face into her t-shirted chest. “You smell so good,” he muttered into her cleavage.

“What do I smell like?”

He breathed deeply. “Sunlight.” 

The last thing he heard was her laugh, carrying him into a peaceful dream of violet lights dancing like forest faeries around his head.

##  ***

Bobby wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep but he awoke in a puddle of drool on Lili’s chest.

He groaned and sat up. The sun was high in the sky. “What day is it? How has the world changed? Has Skynet become self-aware?”

Her smile cleared the bleariness from his eyes. “I’ve honestly got no idea what day it is, but it's the same one as when you fell asleep. The only change in the world right now is that you’ve stopped snoring. And depending on the timeline we’re in, Skynet may already  _ be _ self-aware.”

He laughed. “Why are you so amazing?”

“A question for historians to answer, surely.” She shuffled out of the day bed and stretched. “Come on. If we don’t go and be sociable, like, for at least a little while we’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Or we could stay here.” He gripped her around the waist and pulled her toward him, pressing his face to her tummy. God, he just loved touching her. 

She stroked his locs and dropped her knees back to the bed so she could kiss him. “Why do I feel like you could talk me into walking off a cliff if you wanted to?”

He rolled her onto her side and kissed her. “Because I’m charming as fuck.”

“As fook,” she said, mimicking his accent. 

They kissed for a little while longer. It wasn’t heated or rushed. He ran his hands up and down her back and looked into her dark eyes, feeling himself both lost and found. Something had shifted between them and all his fear and worry from the night before seemed silly now. This girl cared for him. She didn’t play games. She didn’t lie. Why did he keep trying to convince himself otherwise?

Sure, nothing beautiful lasted. Especially for him. But no matter how long they made this work, it was special and he wanted to hold onto every lovely second. 

But that meant letting go of this jealousy. It meant trusting and believing her. He breathed deeply through the fear of that and pressed his forehead to hers. 

She sighed softly. “Seriously, we should get up now.”

He nodded and climbed out of the bed, extending a hand to help her up. 

The rest of the afternoon was a rush of sweet looks and gentle touches between them. He felt calm and comfortable. Confident. The same couldn’t be said for the other boys. The recoupling had them scrambling to impress the girls, who were giddy with their sudden power. There had been so much posturing, posing, and calls for manly challenges that the air was near choked with anxiety-laced testosterone. 

The push-up contest really shoved things over the edge. 

“Seventy-eight!” everyone chanted. “Seventy-nine!”

Rahim had already won, but he was still going. Lucas, who’d collapsed at sixty-two, looked put out. 

“Eighty!” Rahim flopped onto the grass, his body coated in sweat. The islanders cheered.

“Great job, Violet Man!” Bobby hollered. He was happily push-up free, in a beanbag chair, with Lili cuddled on his lap. 

Priya rolled Rahim over. “My hero,” she said fondly, helping him up. “Now you should probably get in the pool before you die.”

“Poooool!” Gary yelled. Nearly everyone scrambled for the always-chilly water. 

“Is it weird that I miss Henrik right now?” Bobby said. “It’s so strange that he’s gone. He’d have loved all that ridiculousness.”

“It’s not weird,” Lili said. “He would have loved the energy of the whole day. He never let anything bother him so this would have all been for fun. No stress.”

“And if Rocco were here, he would have had something fancy to say about the universe and how he’s not driven by ego. Except he’d only say that to hide the fact that he couldn’t even do as many push-ups as me and I can only do...forty.” She gave him a look. “Thirty?” She shook her head. “Fine, I can do sixteen on a good day.”

“There’s the honesty.” She kissed his cheek. “Oof, you’re sweaty. Do you want to swim and cool off?”

“I do! Come with me?” 

She shook her head. “I just don’t feel like swimming today. But you go ahead.”

He kissed her and then ran for the pool, pretending to trip and fall belly first in the water. She laughed and clapped her hands. 

They had a good time splashing and shouting in the pool. Lottie climbed onto Bobby’s shoulders and Hope onto Noah’s and they played  _ chicken fight _ . Hope was a vicious opponent and eventually sent Lottie flying into the water, taking Bobby down with her. After that, they played with a giant beach ball, tossing it back and forth and pretending that they didn’t mean to hit each other in the head with it. 

He swam to the edge of the pool to take a breather and noticed Lili sitting with her feet beneath her. Lucas sat in the beanbag beside hers and he was speaking intensely. She nodded dispassionately and he recognized that it was the same look she often had when talking to him. 

“He doesn’t give up, does he?” Lottie asked, swimming up beside him.

“Nope,” he said. “He doesn’t, but that’s fine. Lili isn’t interested.” 

“Still though. I’m gonna go be annoying.” Before he could stop her, she climbed out of the pool and ran pell-mell at Lili, throwing herself into her lap and soaking her. “Ozzy hug!”

Laughing, Lili gave her a squeeze. Lottie started babbling. He couldn’t hear over all the splashing and conversations in the water, but Lucas’s mouth twisted with annoyance and he gave them both a wave before taking a graceful dive into the far end of the pool. 

Bobby shook his head. For the first time, he managed to overpower those jealous vines trying to encircle him. He’d given Lucas enough of his energy. He was done acting like his mum, strangling his relationship in order to keep it. He was choosing to trust Lili.

And now he wanted to kiss her. 

He hoisted himself out of the pool and caught her staring. Water sluiced down his body and she looked him over with heated eyes. Smirking, he ran his hands through his locs and flexed his arms. She bit her lip and laughed. Beside her, Lottie’s eyes also drifted low on his body and she leaned over and whispered something to Lili who flushed. 

Heat climbed up his neck and across his face. But his need to kiss Lili was stronger than his embarrassment that Lottie had likely commented on the appearance of his cock. He was nearly to them when a phone chimed. Everyone looked at each other. It sounded really far away. 

“Oh, that’s mine!” he said. “Must have left it in the kitchen.” He turned to jog that direction, but suddenly Lottie raced past him. “What are you doing?” He rushed to catch up, but she’d already made it to the counter and snatched up his phone. She turned to race back. He spun and ran after her. She was holding his phone up, when he jogged back to the crowd of islanders surrounding the bean bag chairs. 

“You’re such a magpie, Lottie. Can I have it back?” 

She held it out. He grabbed it and swiped to unlock it. “Ha!” She snatched it back. “Don’t ever let your guard down!” She tapped the screen. “‘Islanders, before tonight’s recoupling the girls will have a chance to get to know the boys better. Each girl will take a boy of her choice out on a date this afternoon. #trybeforeyoubuy.’” 

The girls cheered. The guys exchanged uneasy glances. Hope pumped her fist in the air. “It’s date night, baby! Or date afternoon, at least!”

A phone beeped and Lili stood. “‘Lili, you will go on the first date of the afternoon. Please choose a guy to go on a date with. And then get ready to leave the villa. #earlybird #pickofthepack.’” Her eyes sparked with mischief and she tapped her finger on her lip. “I wish there was a handsome and fantastic pastry chef here who made me laugh. I’d deffo take that guy on a date.”

Bobby stepped forward grinning. “Would you settle for me?”

She looked him over and smiled. “You’ll do. Wanna go on a date with me?”

“I’d love to! It’s gonna be so nice for us to get alone time together.” He swung around and held up his hands. “Not that I don’t love you guys, of course.” 

They raced for the villa to change. He took his time choosing the right breeks to pair with his pink and black button down. He sprayed a tiny bit of cologne, smoothed his locs and moisturized his face. Day in and day out under the Mallorcan sun, everyone was starting to dry out like roasts on too-high heat.

When Lili met him at the front of the villa, his heart constricted. She kept his t-shirt on, but she’d knotted it high on her torso and paired it with a black leather skirt and some very sexy silver heels. 

“Every time I think you can’t get more beautiful, you prove me wrong,” he said.

“Same for you.” She smoothed the collar of his pink and black button down. “You look fantastic. I don’t think I’ve told you how much I love your style. It’s so bold and confident.”

He preened at the compliment. “My friend Louis and I shop together. He’s got great style and taste.” He pointed at his pink pants. “I think sometimes he wishes I’d tone it down just a little on the color, but I am who I am.”

“And I’m glad of it. I like who you are.” 

His heart thumped out a raucous beat. “You’re so sweet.” He kissed her on the temple and took her hand. “Come on, babe. Let’s go drink wine in the daytime.” 

The date was designed for romance. They had decent wine and mediocre bread, seated in the middle of a gorgeous vineyard. It was nice just to be away from everyone, despite the cameras. No one was chasing after them or pulling them apart. And so they talked about nothing. It was one of those breezy conversations where it didn’t matter precisely what was said, because you were too busy relishing the sight of every smile and the sound of every laugh to worry about something as ordinary as words. 

All too soon, the wine was gone and Lili was picking at the last piece of slightly underproofed sourdough. He sat back in the tiny garden chair and took a deep breath. “Looks like it’s time for me to pop the big question.”

“Recoupling or more wine? It could go either way.”

“I don’t think the waitstaff is coming to bring us more wine. Haven’t seen them once since we arrived.”

“Terrible service in this vineyard,” she said. “We should leave a nasty Yelp review.”

He pulled out his phone and pretended to text. “‘The bread was lackluster and the free wine wasn’t unlimited. Bread emoji. Angry face emoji. Thumb down emoji. One star.’”

“It’s hot when you go all hulk smash on the emoji keyboard, Karen.”

He laughed and sat up straighter. “So...what are you thinking about the recoupling this evening?”

“Honestly?”

He folded his hands together to keep them from shaking. “Uh, yeah.”

“Well, I’ve been having the best time getting to know you. You make me laugh like no one else ever has and you’re beautiful in every way a person can be beautiful.” She held up her phone and pretended to type. “Ten out of ten, would recouple. Cupcake emoji. Face blowing a kiss emoji. Baby otter with his paws on his tummy emoji.”

Joy lit him up inside and the warmth of that light washed away his lingering fears. He tried to hide the intensity of his emotion with a smile. “I followed you until the baby otter.” 

“Have you ever looked at a baby otter? You get all soft and you put your hand over your heart and the world just seems brighter for you having experienced that amazing, lovely creature.”

“So I’m like a...weasel?”

“More of an experience. An adorable weasel experience.” She stood and started putting the wine glasses back in the basket. 

The sun fell low in the sky, making a fiery halo around her and he couldn’t stop himself from grabbing both of her hands and tugging her to his lap. “Come over here.” She sat and he kissed the backs of her hands. “Seriously, I feel so lucky that we found each other.” 

“I feel the same,” she said. “There’s no one else I want.” She kissed him tenderly. He stroked the sides of her neck with his fingers, and she held him tight, like she feared letting him go. He could feel her heartbeat against his chest and he lost track of the world around him. The kiss may have been slow, but still, everything spun, as if they were on a playground roundabout, pushed faster and faster. It was all he could do to hold on as the earth rushed by. 

When they pulled apart, he was light-headed. He pressed kisses to her chin and cheeks and blew out a breath. “Well, that’s it. You’ve ruined kissing for me.”

“Have I?”

“Yes.” He looked into her eyes. “Now anyone else will just be disappointing by comparison.”

The world had just slowed down, but her smile made it spin again. “I guess you’re stuck with me then.”

The shadows of the vines stretched as the sun continued to descend. He kissed her a few more times before reluctantly letting go of her. They packed up the basket and held hands all the way back to the villa. 

When they arrived everyone else was already back and changed for the evening. The whole group was huddled around the bar, where Lottie was peeling lemons and Gary was whistling and making lemonade. Bobby pulled one of the stools out for Lili to sit. 

“There you two are!” Priya smiled over the rim of her glass. “First ones to go and last ones to come back! How was your date?” 

Across the kitchen, Lucas sipped his lemonade, but his gaze was intensely focused on them. Bobby tried to ignore him and leaned forward to rest his forearms on the counter. “Well, we were both there so it was pure perfect,” he said. “We went to a vineyard and just enjoyed being alone with each other. Good wine and good chat.” He leaned over and kissed the side of her neck. “The bread was just okay.”

“It was lovely,” Lili said, giving Bobby a sweet look. “Pure perfect.” 

“Details!” Marisol said. “Were there bits amongst the  _ manto negro _ vines? Lili, you’re standing like you’re hiding something.”

“More importantly, did you bring us any wine?” Hope asked. 

“Come on now,” Noah said. “Give them a chance to get changed while they have five minutes of peace. The recoupling is happening soon.”

Hope slid her lemonade aside and grabbed Lili by the hand. “I’ll help you get ready. We need some girl talk!” 

Gary’s eyes brightened. “Oh! I’ll take you for guy talk!” He clapped Bobby on the shoulder. “Let’s get you ready for this thing.”

Guy talk turned out to be nothing so much as Bobby getting dressed up again while Gary went on about how pretty and fun Lottie had been on their picnic date in a lemon grove. His excitement was all kinds of  _ baby otter with its paws on its tummy _ . 

“I mean she’s hot, that helps,” Gary said. “But she’s so different, mate. We shouldn’t have anything in common, but I just really like talking to her. Even when I don’t understand what she’s talking about with her tea leaves and her star chats.”

“Charts?”

“Oh yeah, charts. Anyway, she didn’t say if she would pick me but I think she will. I hope she will. What about you?”

Bobby buttoned his shirt. Usually he was drowning in anxiety during these kinds of events. But not now. He felt calm and collected. Assured. “Lili is choosing me,” he said. 

“Yeah, I’m not surprised. You two are like a luffing cable on a crawler crane.”

Bobby checked himself over in the bathroom mirror. “What?”

“Built to last,” Gary said. “Durable. I can tell. She’s a special girl and you’re a great lad. You two look at each other like…”

“If the end of that sentence has the word crane in it, I’m going to worry about you.”

Gary laughed as his phone dinged. “Oh. It’s time! Let’s head out.”

The girls were already seated on the bench, when the boys arrived at the fire pit. Nervous energy made them more playful, and they jostled each other like school yard mates. 

His eyes found Lili and he grinned at her. She burned hotter than the fire in a gold mini dress. Her hair was down, something that usually only happened when she let Hope fuss with it. And judging by the tiny gold cuffs that pulled the front of her curls back, it was definitely Hope’s handiwork. 

The first phone beeped and Hope hopped up, looking excited. She chose Noah--no surprise there--and her speech was pure cringe as always. Bobby tried not to roll his eyes. She and Noah were both so extra. And that was saying something because Bobby pretty much thought of himself as being the Earl of Extra-shire.

Lili’s phone beeped next and she stood up. Jesus. Sitting down that dress had been sexy but standing, holy hell. It was backless, snug, and short. Her bronze legs seemed to go on for kilometers in it and the halter left a dizzying expanse of her chest exposed. He mouthed the word ‘wow’ at her, and she smiled, looking pleased. 

“I’m so excited to get to say this,” she began. “The boy I’m choosing is driven, smart, and kind. He thinks about others. He has the best chat. But more than that, he accepts me just as I am. Emotional. Energetic. A touch dramatic. He never rolls his eyes when I go on about Taylor Swift, and he’s just the best person. I think we make a great team and I can’t wait to see where this could go. So, the boy I want to couple up with is...Bobby.”

A smile spread across his face, stretching his cheeks to the point of pain, but he didn’t care.  _ She chose him. _ He knew she was going to. She said she would and he had believed her. But experiencing it, seeing the light in her eyes when she said his name, it destroyed a dam that he hadn’t known was in his heart, and huge rolling waves of jubilance rushed through. 

He high-fived all the guys and raced to her, taking her hand and giving excessive, squeaky, over-the-top kisses to her forearm and knuckles. She laughed and fanned herself. 

“Hope you’re taking notes gentlemen,” he said. “This is how you woo a lady.”

“What, by slobbering all over her arm?” Gary asked.

Bobby rolled his eyes. Gary really did have a beige aura sometimes. Lili also rolled her eyes. “Don’t you listen to him babe. Your woo-ing skills are second to none.”

He laughed and kissed her on the cheek. They sat down and his head buzzed with excitement. The rest of the recoupling passed in a blur. Lottie chose Gary. Priya chose Rahim, and despite her dismissal of “catching feelings” earlier, she gave quite a sweet speech about how special Rahim was. 

Marisol went last and chose Lucas. Not that she had other options, but they actually seemed a decent match. In his rigid way, Lucas kissed Marisol’s cheek. “Thank you for choosing me. You look beautiful tonight.” He offered her his arm as they sat. 

Smooth. Lucas was very smooth. But his eyes darted toward Lili, and for just a moment, they were naked with longing. Bobby almost felt bad for him. He’d been there, watching Lili with another guy, wishing it was him. 

An icy chill worked its way up his spine. He’d gotten her. He got the girl. She was his to keep. But that meant she was his to lose. 

“You’re doing that thing you don’t do again.” Lili smoothed the space between his brows. 

He relaxed his face and pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder. “No I’m not.”

Afterward, an air of excitement floated around the villa. Everyone went to change into their pyjamas. Bobby headed upstairs to change as well. When he exited the bathroom, he found Lili alone and fresh-faced, removing the tiny gold cuffs in her hair. He leaned in the doorway and enjoyed the graceful sweep of her hands as she pulled her hair into a poofy bun on top of her head. 

She saw him in the mirror and turned. “Hey you.”

“Hey.” He looked her over. She’d taken off the sexy gold dress, but in its place was a short pink silk robe tied tight around the waist. “Pulling out all the hot stops with that outfit, babe.”

She put her hands on her hips and struck a model pose. 

“Mm, yeah, that’s sexy. Now let’s see what’s under it.”

She gave him a mischievous smile. “It’s a mystery.”

“I’m very good at solving mysteries.” He crossed the room and pulled her close, but the cheeky joke he’d planned dissolved once she was in his arms. He leaned his head against hers. “You chose me,” he whispered.

“Of course I did. There’s no one else I’d choose but you.”

“I know. But there’s always a little worry in the back of your head, isn’t there? What if she changes her mind? What if the sugar high has burned off and now she’s thinking clearly and she picks someone else, out of nowhere?”

“Oh my god, and here I thought you were feeding me so many desserts because you cared. And also because you wanted more arse to grab hold of.”

“Well, I mean, those things too.” He kissed the side of her head. “Let’s head down.”

She wrapped an arm around his waist and they returned to the bedroom. It bubbled with chatter from the islanders who were carefully sizing up the new sleeping arrangements. 

Priya swung around and gave Lili a Cheshire grin. “Aww, don’t you look cute in your PJs! I just want to give you a cuddle.” She pulled Lili down to the bed and wrapped herself around her. 

God. Bobby wanted to pretend he was the kind of chill lad who didn’t get all excited when two girls got handsy, because he didn’t believe in fetishizing someone’s sexuality. But his morals didn’t always make their way to his cock, which had been neglected for much longer than was normal for it.

In order to escape his abject horniness, he looked away, over to Lottie and Gary who were flirting playfully. It really made him happy to see Lottie smiling.

After a minute, Lili escaped from the snuggle monster that was Priya, and flung herself onto the end of their bed. 

Bobby’s phone dinged. “That’s ominous,” he said. “Oh! ‘Islanders, the Hideaway is open. Please pick one couple to spend the night there.’” Everyone gasped. 

“Hope and Noah!” Lucas hollered. 

Marisol rolled her eyes. “I reckon it should be Lili and Bobby!”

Lucas gave her a hard look, and then shrugged as if he didn’t really care.

“Bobby and Lili!” Lottie said, punching the air with her fist. 

Hope gave Lili a knowing look. “Do you want to go?”

Lili blushed, her cheeks turning a blazing magenta. She looked at Bobby and he did his best to seem chill, even though his entire body was screaming for her to say yes.

“I would like that,” she said softly. 

His heart pounded painfully and he couldn’t restrain the massive grin on his face. “I would too.”

Noah laughed. “Go on then! Get in there. Er...”

Priya pumped her fist in the air. “Lili and Bobby! Lili and Bobby!” Everyone joined in, except Lucas, who stared at the wall, his expression grim. 

Lili covered her face and groaned. Bobby was too ecstatic to be embarrassed. He tugged her hands down, bent her backward and planted a dramatic kiss on her. She squealed in surprise and then melted in his arms. He leaned to her ear and dropped his voice low. “Let’s go solve that mystery.”

She laughed but her pupils dilated and he couldn’t stop the tingles and ache in his body. The anticipation was suddenly too much. It had only been nine days, but it felt like one hundred. One thousand. One million lonely nights with no relief. And now they were going to be completely alone. For the whole night. It was likely the most privacy they’d get the entire summer. His body jittered with nervous excitement. He grabbed her hand and together, they made their way to the far end of the villa. They didn’t speak the whole way. At the end of the long hall was a simple wooden door with a  _ Do Not Disturb _ sign on it. 

They stopped in front of it. He turned and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Are you ready?” He meant going in the room, but the question suddenly felt heavy.

She searched his eyes for a long moment and then nodded. “Yeah. I am.”

With a slow breath, he swung the door open, and took her hand. Together, they entered the Hideaway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all my readers who have stuck with me through this fic so far. Your patience will be rewarded. Next week, on February 14th, Lili and Bobby are gonna be all alone in the Hideaway 😈🍯 If you like this story, leave me kudos or a comment here or throw me a tweet @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are my preferred currencies 💞
> 
> As always, thanks to my amazing beta readers, ThroughTheJunoBush and Primr0se. You two are the luffing cables to my crawler crane 😆🖤 I couldn't do this without you.


	29. You Should See the Way She Holds Me When the Lights Go Low

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 😘 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! 💖
> 
> So, Bobby & Lili are in the Hideaway and uh...PARENTAL DISCRETION IS ADVISED 🔥🔥🔥

“Wow,” Bobby said, needing to talk to quell his nerves. “This is...great!” 

Soft lights glowed in the ceiling of the Hideaway, turning the loud orange walls into a dreamy sunset oasis. He breathed out and looked around. One side of the room was built up on a short platform. A huge bed was low to the ground in the center. Rose petals were scattered everywhere and at least a dozen little red candle holders surrounded the bed. The fake votives inside flickered prettily in the low light. 

It was so quiet. Here there was no one to walk in on them. Or snoop at the terrace door. No one to rush them along or announce a text. Despite the cameras mounted in the corners of the room, they were truly alone.

“Look how big this bed is. It’s unreal.” He threw himself down on top of the soft fur coverlet. It made no noise at all and the mattress was firm beneath him. “Wow, tell you what, this is amazing,” he babbled. “I bet it’s got like a proper expensive mattress. Want to build a pillow fort?”

Lili hadn’t moved from the center of the room. Her hands twisted together as she stared at the bed. She glanced up at the cameras mounted around the room. “I—” She looked genuinely panicked.

He scrambled off the bed and took her hands. “Hey, we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable doing. I’m happy if all you want is to spoon and talk about Taylor Swift.” He gave her an encouraging smile. 

She nodded. “I know. It’s just…this is so nice and quiet. But without all the noise it’s like I’m even more aware of the cameras. I just wish we were really alone.”

“I get it.” He pulled her into a hug, and she relaxed in his arms. He kissed her head. “There’s got to be something that I can do to make this more comf—Oh!” An idea came to him and he grinned into her hair. “Don’t move, I’ll be back.”

He left the hideaway and tiptoed to the linen closet next to the first floor bathroom. It was full of extra blankets and pillows and sheets. No one ever needed them as the villa was blazing hot most of the time. Air conditioning and fans couldn’t run unless everyone was outside, because the sound messed with the microphones. 

He grabbed a handful of blankets and sheets and carried them back to the room. Lili watched him, her brows drawn in confusion, as he dropped them on the bed and went back out, returning a moment later with a box fan he pilfered from the bottom of the same linen closet.

He went out onto the deck outside of the hideaway, it was also beautiful and closed off from the rest of the villa. Lovely. He dragged in the heavy outdoor chairs and the glass top patio table.

“Bobby, what are you—”

He stopped to catch his breath. “Every fort I’ve ever made has led me to this moment.” He gave her a grin as he dragged furniture to the platform, placing the pieces at each corner of the bed. Nodding at his handiwork, he grabbed a handful of sheets and passed three of them to her. “Please knot these together on the long ends.”

She sat cross legged on the bed and knotted the sheets together, pulling them good and tight. “This isn’t at all what I imagined the night would be like.”

“Give it time.” He tied one end of the sheet to a chair and gave it a firm tug. She followed his lead and did the same on the other side. He crisscrossed the sheets and secured the other ends. 

Lili’s confusion gave way to a sunny smile. “It’s a canopy?”

“Yeah, I mean what’s a canopy except a fancy fort? And I’m excellent at making forts!” He shook out a blanket and handed her an end. With careful hands, he draped two of them over the top of the structure. Then, they stretched the thinner blankets out and tied them to the sides and end of the frame. 

He tested it to make sure a little motion wouldn’t make the whole thing collapse and found it surprisingly sturdy. With a sigh of satisfaction, he hauled the fan up onto one of the chairs and plugged it in. The thing was old and quite loud. Perfect for muffling sound to the microphones. He climbed inside and turned off all but a couple of the votives. “Can you see me from out there?”

“Not really.”

He turned on a few more. “How about now?”

“A bit of shadow but not much.”

He peeked out. “Can you live with that?”

She nodded.

He held out a hand and she took it. Gingerly, she climbed into their fort. With only the light of a handful of faux candles it was a little dark, but he could still see her face. Her smile unfurled as she looked around. It was proper romantic despite the crooked ceiling and whine of the ancient fan.

She took a shuddering breath. “Privacy. It felt like we’d never ever have it.”

“Well, we have it for one night at least.” He patted the bed beside him. “Let’s have some pillow talk.” She picked up the pillow and hit him with it. “Hey, use your words,” he said laughing and pulling her close. “It’s actually just really nice to get a bit of headspace from the others. Like they’re great and everything but…” he looked at her. “Sometimes you want to focus on what really matters.”

She rolled her eyes. “That’s such a line!”

“Well if you’re gonna use a line, this is the room to do it in,” he said with a smile.

“Mmm,” she nodded and cuddled up to him. Her silky pink robe rustled against the bed. He wrapped an arm around her and neither of them spoke. He wasn’t sure what she wanted, and he didn’t want to push or expect anything. 

Her lips found his. The kiss was slow and unbearably sweet. For once there was no rush. It was delicious and his body buzzed as her hands started to roam, stroking his neck and shoulders. His chest.

His hands wandered down her back to cup her ass through the robe, and he groaned at all that softness he found. She arched her neck and he took the invite, kissing his way to her collarbone. He took his time, tracing it with the heat of his tongue before pressing kisses there. She moaned softly as he teased her skin, making his way between her breasts. He gently cupped them, running his thumbs over her nipples. He huffed his hot breath through the fabric, and she shivered.

God he wanted her so badly. His hands shook as he traced the edges of her silk robe, slowly pushing the fabric aside.

She laid her hand gently on top of his. “Bobby, wait, please.” 

His body screamed in protest, but he sat back. “Sorry, did I push too far?”

“No. It’s just...” She swallowed. “It’s just…what if I’m not good? What if after all the buildup, we do this and then in the morning, you think, ‘God she’s rubbish in bed. I wonder what Lottie’s up to?’”

The wash of vulnerability in her wide eyes destroyed him. She was afraid she wouldn’t be enough, which was insane. He threaded his fingers through hers. “First, you’ll be amazing. I already know it, because our chemistry is spectacular. Second, there is no universe where I’d go from wanting you to wanting _ Lottie _. She’s my friend, but that’s as far as it goes. Priya too. There’s literally no other girl here that I want to be with, except the one I’m with right now.”

Her eyes softened and she turned their joined hands, planting a kiss on his knuckles. “Sex has always felt like something I’m not very good at. My ex was religious and rather conservative. He didn’t have a high drive with me, and I felt like it was my fault. Like I didn’t know enough to please him. And I wanted to learn, but that only—” she looked down at the bedding. “He found my _ enthusiasm _ unattractive.”

Some of the puzzle pieces in their relationship finally slipped into place. The night Hannah was dumped from the island, Lili had cried, worried that he’d only chosen her because he felt obligated to. She thought she’d turned him off with the intensity of her kiss. The day she’d found out his numbers, he’d been so preoccupied with his fear of her dumping him that he’d been insensitive about her lack of experience. She’d thought he was rejecting her because of it. 

He ran his fingers over her knuckles, feeling so sad for his passionate girl being stuck in such a joyless, hurtful relationship. “For whatever it’s worth, I find your enthusiasm very sexy.”

She laughed and shook her head as if she didn’t quite believe him. “I did my best to keep him happy. He quite liked my mouth. It was okay to be enthusiastic when I was doing that.” She licked her lower lip and his cock jumped up, as if it were volunteering as tribute. “So that’s the only thing I have experience with. He didn’t believe in a lot of stuff. Like different positions. Or going down…there. Like you do.”

“His religion makes an exception for blowjobs but not for going down on a girl? That’s convenient.”

“Now that you say that, it is a bit sketchy, like.” She laughed but worry lingered in her eyes.

“Look, Lil, I want you. All of you. And your enthusiasm.” He stroked her jaw. “But you’re not obligated to do anything or prove anything. First times aren’t always mind-blowing. Sometimes you have to learn someone’s body. So even if it’s not a perfect night, full of acrobatic flips and impossible positions, I’d still want you.”

“But what does that mean?” She studied him in that intense way of hers. “I don’t want to be needy or demanding of your feelings, but sometimes you can be so hard to read. I never quite know what you’re thinking and it scares me. So, I need to know if you—” She bit her lip, digging her teeth into the plush skin. “If you care about me. If this is just a summer fling for the cameras or if there’s more to it. I don’t believe that you have to be in love to have sex, but for me, it has to mean something. I do get attached. That’s why I don’t date. It’s safer not to get involved than to find out that someone you thought wanted you actually doesn’t.” Pain flashed in her eyes like strikes of lightning.

_ Hard to read. _Those words were eerily familiar. Davina had said them. So had Marie. And Brynn. His past relationships had wilted like neglected house plants, starved by his inability to show what he felt. At first laughter could water the topsoil, making new leaves sprout, but sooner or later every joke, every deflection, dried out the roots until nothing survived. Panic clawed at him. He couldn’t do that again. Not to her. He couldn’t stand back and watch the color drain out of Lili as she withered beneath the drought of his inadequacies. 

His emotions had always been bigger than he was. That’s why he squeezed them into the smallest space possible, trapping them from escape. He didn’t know how to free them without splitting himself apart. He had to tell her something, but what could he say? In nine days he’d fallen harder than he’d ever fallen in his life. He started on day one and never stopped. He was crazy for her. Her touch. Her laugh. Her passion. Her hyper-competitiveness and the way she brought light to everything she touched. He felt manic and jealous and territorial. Things he never wanted to feel, but they kept bursting forth. He already feared losing her. It frightened him how much he feared it. He couldn’t say that. It was too much. Too much for her and too much for him. 

He tucked one of her wayward curls behind her ear and looked into those fathomless dark eyes. “The truth is I’ve never met anyone like you, and I want you more than I’ve ever wanted any girl. Not just sexually.” His words barreled out, tumbling all over each other. “It—this—_ you _ mean a lot to me. This feels like so much more than a summer fling. I can’t promise what it will be like when we leave. I can only tell you how much I hope that we’ll leave together. Because this feels like it’s really… something.”  
  
Afraid of what he’d see on her face, he looked down at their clasped hands. He was hollowed out from revealing so much and it was still only a teacup full of what he really felt. 

Lili threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. It was no longer the languid sweet kissing from before. It was frantic and hot. Their tongues battled for supremacy. Their teeth scraped together. She stroked him through his shorts, making him moan against her mouth. 

“Let’s solve that mystery,” she said breathlessly. She sat up on her knees, her head touching the canopy above them. The silk robe slithered off the smooth skin of her shoulders, revealing nothing but a pink lacy thong underneath. His mouth watered at the living dream before him. He’d touched her plenty, but it was the first time he’d seen her near to naked. Her breasts were glorious. Bronze and tipped with dark, sumptuous nipples. Pale scars encircled the underside of both. He tilted his head and looked closer. Not scars. Tattoos. He recognized the same writing that was behind her ear, between her fingers, along her foot. He ran his fingers over the script on her right breast. _ Bathed in her brokenness, said a prayer of gratitude… _ He trailed across her chest to the rest of the words. _ For each chink in the armor she never knew she needed. _

“That’s beautiful, lass,” he said hoarsely. “You’re so, beautiful.” He ran his tongue along the words, absorbing the pain that put them there and the strength that made them true. He wanted to devour all of who she was. When his mouth found her nipples, he wasn’t gentle. He couldn’t be. He needed her so much. She squirmed beneath him, giving him those breathy yesses that made him want to come right then and there.

He dipped his head lower, kissing his way down her stomach, but she sat up. “On your back, please,” she said.

He did as he was told and she straddled him. She lightly scraped her nails down his chest and abdomen and her mouth followed their path, kissing and licking him with the same ferocity he’d given her breasts. Her tongue trailed around his belly button, to the crisp hair below it and his cock ached to have her so close.

“Be more naked,” she said. 

Laughing, he yanked his shorts and underwear off like a dancer at a hen do, throwing them aside. When he settled back onto the mattress, he tried to hold onto his few remaining wits. “Babe, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” _ Please want to _, he shouted inside. 

“I want to. I like doing it. And this is the thing I’m actually skilled at. Let a girl have her moment.” She stroked him and he gasped. She tenderly explored him with her hands and leaned down to take him in her mouth. But she hesitated.

“What’s wrong?” He half cried the words out, needing her to keep going.

“Did you know that you’ve got three freckles here.” She smiled and stroked her nails over a patch of freckled skin near the base of his cock. Then she bent and kissed the spot, scraping her tongue over his imperfect skin, and kept going, running her tongue up his length. And then her mouth enveloped him. There were no words for it. Just to be within her felt like fireworks.

She started slow, testing how much she could take, her tongue soft and searching as she pumped her mouth over him. One hand gripped his shaft and the other massaged his bawbag. Fuck, it felt so good. She released his cock from her mouth with a wet pop and teased him with her tongue, running along the ridge of the head. He slid his hands into her hair and tugged softly. “Please, babe,” he moaned. 

She didn’t move. He looked down and saw her brown eyes sparkling. “How long do you think you can go without my mouth down here?”

“Oh, you little...zero seconds!” He pulled harder on her hair. “You win. Fuck.”

She gave a husky victory laugh and took him in her mouth. He could have cried. She took her time, building the pressure and he fought to control his hips from pumping. Her grip tightened and he jerked involuntarily, pushing himself deeper into her mouth. She eased off and smiled. “Don’t worry, I can take that. I’ll let you know if it’s too much.” 

Lights danced in the edges of his vision. He dug his hands more firmly into her hair. She pulled him back into her hot mouth and he thrust his hips gently, a tingling tension spreading in his abdomen. He bucked harder and she moaned against his sensitive skin and took even more of him. Oh god, it felt amazing. The lights in his vision grew brighter and his core knotted. Faintly, a thought intruded upon his need.

_ It wasn’t how he wanted to come. _

Selfishly losing himself in her mouth while her own pleasure was set aside for him to get to later, was unacceptable. That wasn’t how he wanted this to go. “Lili,” he groaned, barely able to speak. “Stop.”

Immediately she sat up, her eyes wide. “Is something wrong?”

He kissed her hard. “No. That was amazing. But I need to see you.” He teased her lower lip with his tongue. “I need to taste you.” He rolled her onto her back. She reached for her lacy pink pants and he stopped her hands. Gently, he slid them off himself, devouring every inch of skin with his eyes. He sat them aside and explored her body in the flickering light. Kissing her stomach and the tops of her thighs. There was no part of her he didn’t want to know. He made his way down her legs, stopping to lick at the tattoo on the side of her foot, giving a playful bite to her instep. 

She jerked and giggled. “I’m beginning to think you really do have a foot thing.”

“It’s only yours.” He kissed the tips of her toes. “They’re so pretty.” He made his way back up her legs, gently pulling them apart. He kissed the inside of her right thigh and that’s when he saw another flash of white.

He stilled and he felt more than heard her laughter. She moved and the light shifted as she handed him a votive. He held it up. Hidden just inside of her bikini line was another tattoo. He bit his lip trying to make out the tiny letters. _ Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers _.

Fuck, his body burned for her. For all the time capsules tucked beneath her skin. For all that she lost and all that she still believed in. He only vaguely understood what it meant to her, but he knew it meant a lot. He trailed his tongue over each letter, re-writing the words bigger and bolder on her tender skin. She moaned and arched her hips.

He licked his lips and stared at her, so pretty and perfect to him. He ran his tongue along the centre of her, greedily spreading her open so he could see every deep pink layer and fold. All thought was lost as soon as he tasted her. Her moans and gasps of pleasure were all that existed. He felt every buck of her hips, every squeeze of her thighs and he buried his face deeper, needing more. Always more with her.

He pulled away and looked at her. She moaned at the loss of his mouth and sat up on her elbows. He kissed her. The sweet salty taste of her still on his tongue and she drew it in eagerly. He knew what he wanted and needed. He stroked her lips and she sucked on his fingers. 

“Do you trust me?” His voice was creaky to his ears.

“Yes, Aladdin, I trust you.” Her soft smile filled every corner of his soul with light. She got him.

“Then get on your knees, princess.”

“Oh!” Her eyes widened. She looked around. “Let me grab a con—”

“Don’t need one yet,” he said softly, his mind entranced by what he was going to do.

Nodding slowly, she got up on her knees and sat upright, her feet sticking out from beneath her ass. She looked over her shoulder at him and waited. Half of her curls had fallen from their bun. Her eyes were wide and curious. His heart throbbed looking at her. This girl, she was everything. He kissed the back of her neck and nipped her ear lobe. “_ Hands _ and knees, lass.”

She shuddered and bent over, pushing her gorgeous ass in the air. He only vaguely recognized that he’d found another tattoo, there, high on her right cheek. But he couldn’t focus on it. He was driven by pure need as he laid flat on his back and slid his head between her spread thighs. He arched up and started to eat her pretty pussy.

“Oh god!” She jerked and then her hips rolled in pleasure, and his hands slid up her body to cup her breasts, tugging on her nipples while he devoured her. He could feel the tension in her strong legs as she tried to keep her position and that wasn’t what he wanted at all. He gripped her hips and gave a yank that seated her full on his face. She gasped and cried out. This was what he wanted. Enveloped in her, he sucked on her clit, pulling on it delicately, feeling her response in the quiver of her legs, in her cries. Her oh gods and please please pleases.

His entire lower body clenched tightly lost in the pleasure of her pleasure. He paused to take a breath, only so he could keep going. He’d just as happily die right there, suffocated in her warmth, but not until she came.

Her thighs tightened against his ears and he felt her shift and sit up, pressing down. Oh, fuck yes. She began to grind against his face. He gripped her breasts more firmly, while he suctioned and released over and over until her muscles tightened, her limbs quaked, and her cries were sharp and pleading. She gripped his hair and shuddered, calling out his name. His baws tightened so hard he nearly passed out. He arched his hips as the tension that threatened to tear him apart finally released, and he came, his cock pulsing as warm wetness landed on his stomach.

He was dizzy and drunk on the taste of her. She raised herself up, taking her weight off him, but he held her hips in place. “Not yet, gorgeous. Please.” He raised up and kept kissing her pussy and her slick thighs. He was gentler this time, knowing she’d be sensitive after coming. He stroked her ass and legs and worked his tongue between her folds, sucking gently, until a strangled sob tore out of her and she came again, her clit pulsing against his tongue as if it were dancing. 

Breathless, she rolled away and collapsed beside him, trembling. He used one of the extra sheets to wipe up his face and stomach. Sighing happily, he turned onto his side and kissed her. His hands roamed her tenderly, drawing shapes on her back and hip with the tips of his fingers. 

“Oh my god, I didn’t know that was a thing people even did.” She stroked his lips. “You are a boy of many talents. That was amazing.”

“This is what I bring to the party. Baked goods and orgasms.”

“And you say that I’m the perfect one?” She pushed closer. “So, are we going to…?”

He grabbed a curl and tickled the end of her nose with it. “Only if you want, but we’ll have to wait a bit. I kind of already finished.”

She peeked down at his softening cock and looked up with wide eyes. “While you were doing that to me?”

“That was the sexiest experience of my life, Lil. Yes. I came like a fucking volcano.” He cuddled her and she laughed against his neck

They lay there curled around each other for a little while, hands wandering their bodies lazily. Lili sat up and stretched. “I’ll be right back.” She slid on her robe and disappeared, taking her warmth with her. He flopped over onto his back and stared at nothing. His mind was fully at rest, no racing thoughts, no questioning. Just a peace that he couldn’t remember experiencing before. He started to drift off when he heard her shuffle inside of their fort.

He opened one eye. She sat his water bottle next to hers. He reached for it, but it was warm. He opened both eyes and watched her curiously. She picked up a towel and drenched it in the warm water. Then she gently wiped his face down with the towel. He smiled the entire time she worked, carefully wiping his eyebrows and nose and chin.

By the time she poured more and sweetly washed his stomach off, he was in a full- blown fit.

“Don’t laugh at me!” she said. “I just don’t want you to wake up…crunchy.”

He snorted and started laughing all over again. By the time he caught his breath, she threw the towel at him. It landed on his face with a wet _ thwap _. 

“I deserved that.”

“Yes you did.”

He sat the towel aside and laid back down, pulling her close. “Seriously, thank you lass.” He kissed her forehead. “Sometimes I can’t believe that someone can be so beautiful and sweet. You’re the human equivalent of the perfect cupcake.”

“Not perfect. But I suppose if you’re equating me to baked goods, I must be doing something right.”

“You’re doing everything right.” He kissed her and she turned, snuggling her ass against him, all warm and round. He propped himself up on one elbow and skated his fingers beneath the robe and over the tattoo he’d barely paid attention to earlier. It wasn’t words. Instead, in the tiniest most delicate lines he’d ever seen, was a stylized outline of a dancer. A tribute to the thing that brought her such joy. “I was a little preoccupied when I saw this one. But I’m pretty sure that’s number seven. You owe me some stories.” 

She wriggled her bum and laughed. “Alright. This one is pretty straightforward. I got it when I got my first masters. I felt like a real dancer and I wanted to remember that feeling.”

“Why’d you put it here?”

“Mostly because I ran out of secret real estate and my bum has a lot of acreage.”

“I’m a fan of every acre.” He squeezed her ass. “Why are your tattoos secret anyway?”

She shrugged. “I don’t hide what my life has been like, but some pieces of me aren’t for the world to see or question. These are my stories.” She ran her hand over her breast. “No one gets to read my stories until I trust them with the whole book.”

Warm heat spread through his chest. “Thank you for trusting me, lass.” He pressed a kiss to her shoulder, grateful that he was behind her, so she couldn’t see how much her words had affected him. He cleared his throat. “Okay. How about the one on your foot? Aman...aman...” He tried to say the words, but he couldn’t get his Scottish tongue around the curves of the letters. 

“Amanecí bailando,” she said with a soft laugh. “‘I awoke dancing’.”

“That one’s accurate.”

“It also means ‘I was born dancing,’” She smiled sadly. “My mum said I danced her whole pregnancy.” 

Her sadness cut through him like a cold wind and all he wanted was to warm her. He leaned over and kissed her softly. “You don’t really talk about them or what happened. You don’t have to, you know. But if you wanted to...”

“Thank you, babe. I want to. But not tonight.” She shifted onto her back and pulled him in for another kiss. “You may continue with your investigation.”

He stroked his hand over her thigh, skimming her sex to tease at her bikini line. “How about this one?”

“‘Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers.’ It’s a song lyric. Sometimes you can care for someone but they’re no good for you. So you pick that weed out of your life, even if it hurts, so that beautiful things can bloom.”

“Is that about your ex?”

She nodded. “It wasn’t healthy, and we weren’t _ in _ love, but I cared for him and he cared for me. It was hard to walk away from the comfort of that. Like he wasn’t romantic usually. But he had a key to my flat and always stopped at the letterbox and picked up my post. Every day. Sat it on my table along with some kind of gift. Sometimes it was candy or something silly. Sometimes it was a meal or a book. He said he didn’t want me to see him and only think of junk mail.” She smiled fondly. “For months after we broke up, I kept forgetting to pick up the post. So even in that there were weeds, but there were flowers there too.”

A strange combination of sadness for her heartache, and jealousy that she cared for someone so much, coursed through him. He hated that she ever felt that pain. He wanted to take away every bit of it. But how fair was it, that he had been in Scotland, wishing deep in his soul, where he didn’t like to dwell, for a girl as spectacular as her, and she had existed. His dream girl. His obsession. But she’d been busy dating an undeserving man, who got to kiss her every day, even though he didn’t appreciate all the things that made her special.

Bobby could have done so much more. Baked. Done her dishes. Rubbed her feet after dance classes. Filled her apartment with whatever she liked best. Flowers or cupcakes or those funny little chalky hearts that tell the other person how you feel. He pictured a life with her, coming home to her smile and hugging away her stress, sitting the mail on the table and telling her he lov—

Panic surged past his more complicated emotions. That was...no. He pushed the thought firmly away. He wasn’t ready to have that word in his head. He stroked her arms and kissed her behind the ear. He needed to escape that thought as quickly as possible. “Tell me about this one.” His voice was shaky, but if she noticed, she didn’t say anything about it. 

“Lucha. It means, uh, struggle. Fight. There was a time when I believed that life was a battle that had to be fought, instead of something you get to experience.” She ran her finger behind her ear. “I had aged out of the foster system and I was basically alone in the world. My social worker was replaced with someone new, and I didn’t trust her yet. I was at Uni and I was lonely and scared and worried I’d fail. When I got this, I thought that life was always going to be a battle” She shook her head. “Sometimes my inner emo kid takes over. So dramatic she is.”

“It’s hard to imagine you as being anything less than positive.”

“Optimism is a choice I make, because cynicism doesn’t serve me.” She ran a finger down his neck.“ And now you know my secret. I’m a miserably ordinary human with lots of complex emotions.”

“You aren’t ordinary.” He kissed her and didn’t stop for a long time. He marveled at her strength. To go through so much and not let the world dim her light, was amazing. He couldn’t believe that he got to hold her. 

They rocked together, slowly at first, trading dreamy kisses and tender touches. Then, she cupped his face in her hands. “Bobby beautiful,” she whispered against his mouth. 

The words tasted like sugar and her mouth like sin. “Lili lovely,” he breathed back. Their kisses grew more heated and she gave that sweet little moan that meant she wanted more. He pushed her robe open and wrapped his lips around her nipple, pulling it deep into his mouth. She reached between them and stroked his aching cock. He arched into her firm grip, gasping as she massaged him. It felt so good he feared it was going to end before it began. He slowed the rhythm of her hand. “I wanna make you come again, Lil.”

She shook her head. “I’m a little too sensitive right now. I don’t think I can handle it.” She pushed up and kissed him, tugging on his lower lip with her teeth. “I’m not going to come every time and that’s alright. I just want to be with you.”

He groaned against her soft lips. “That sounds like a challenge to me.”

“It’s not.” She smiled at him. “I want to watch _ you _come, Bobby.”

Electricity surged up his spine at her words. No one had ever said anything like that to him. Unable to articulate how she’d made him feel, he simply nodded and reached for a condom from the jar sitting near the wall. She bit her lip as he sifted through it.

“What are you doing? Looking for the banana yellow ones?”

He felt his face heat up and focused on his search. “Gary investigated all the condom jars and said there were different, um...sizes. The regular ones pinch a bit.” He laughed self-consciously. Near the bottom of the jar, he found three. He tore one open and rolled it on.

His body was taut, desperate and aching. Now that he was so close, it felt as though he might lose his mind if he didn’t slide inside of her, but she was staring down at his cock anxiously. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, forcing himself to pause. “Are you alright? Would you like to stop? Because we don’t have to—”

“No, I want to,” she said. I’m just…it’s rather big. I’m afraid it will hurt. It’s been so long, I probably grew a new hymen.”

He laughed and some of the tension eased. “I can take it slow.” He trailed kisses up her neck and to her ear. For a long while they just played. He touched her all over, kissing and teasing, stopping to make jokes and keep her relaxed. Finally, he slid his hands between her thighs and used his long fingers to open her up. She was slippery and hot. With infinite gentleness, he pushed inside. She moaned as he slid one and then two fingers in. He pumped slowly, until she arched her hips and whimpered. Then he added a third. She gasped. 

“Does that feel good, lass?”

“Oh. Yes.” She gripped his wrist and pushed into his hand. “So good.” 

He stayed steady, thrusting his fingers into her as she writhed. When it felt like he couldn’t hold off another second, she reached between them and gripped his cock, making him cry out. He was so primed and sensitive. “Oh fuck,” he groaned. He slid his fingers out of her and she pressed his tip to where they’d been. She raised her hips, and slid him ever so slightly inside. He eased deeper within her. She tensed a bit and then relaxed as he pushed fully inside. He kissed her and then gave a slow pump. She gasped and clung to his shoulders.

“Are you alright?” he asked hoarsely.

“More,” she moaned softly.

“Aye, that’s my favourite word when you say it.” He thrust again, a little faster this time. She tightened her legs around him, and pleasure folded and melded inside of him as he rolled his hips and drove harder into her. He pressed his forehead to hers. She looked up at him and he was dizzy from the rush of tenderness that coursed through him. Keeping himself balanced on one hand, he cupped the side of her face and stroked her cheek. “You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.”

“I was going to say the same thing about yours.”

“We’re so hot,” he gave a guttural laugh. 

“I know you don’t believe me, but you truly are the most beautiful boy in the world.” She ran a finger down his nose and skimmed the shape of his lips. She kissed him and shocks of pleasure started low in his belly and spread. 

“Ah, lass,” he grunted. “I think this might be a quick one.”

She tightened her strong legs around him, crossing them under his ass and pulling him in deeper. “That’s alright. Just fuck me, Bobby.”

“Oh god.” He buried his face in her hair and let go, slamming into her heat. Their bodies were pressed tight together, her arms surrounding him, and he was held firm in a prison he didn’t ever want to escape. She held him and demanded _ more _ and he gave it, pounding into her. His vision blurred. Fuckfuckfuck. Nothing had ever felt so good. So sweet. So perfect. He raised up and kissed her, needing so much more but not knowing how to reach for it. Lights danced behind his eyelids, shining brighter and brighter until the warmth enveloped both of them, cradling their bodies in a truth he now understood. This thing was written in the stars. It was destiny. It was transcendent. They were meant to find each other. And they would last. 

He took a shuddering breath against her plush mouth and came, trembling within her bright light.

_ They would last. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously may have written 28 other chapters JUST so I could write this scene.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading my work and sticking with me! As always, if you like what I do, leave me kudos and a comment! Or throw me a tweet @muggedoff4life. Validation is my love language. 
> 
> Thank you so so so much to Prim and Jolene, who beta like boss bitches and provide much needed water to my parched earth. Whatever our souls are made of, both of yours and mine are the same.


	30. You're All I Want, So Bring Me the Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some hot sexy times. Some falling. Then a truth is revealed and the spiral of angst begins. MWAHAHAHAAAAA! Oh yeah, also, Priya and Bobby concoct Operation: Nope.

Bobby woke up to Lili’s soft touch. Her fingers swept over his chest, tracing the constellation of his freckles. He smiled and reached for her. “Morning gorgeous,” he said. 

“Morning.” The early flush of sunrise from the sliding glass door filled their little oasis with light. Naked, she arched her back and stretched, glowing like a goddess and he couldn’t resist skimming his fingers over her stomach, watching the light sparkle prettily between his hand and her skin.

The night before had been profound. Magical. He’d never experienced anything like it, and he wanted more. He pulled her into a kiss and a surge of electricity passed between them, raising goosebumps on his arms. The pulse in her neck called to his mouth and he heeded that call, licking, kissing, biting. He made his way down her chest, cupping her tattooed breasts, kneading the way she liked. The way that made her moan. 

“I never finished investigating your tattoos,” he murmured, making her shiver. “Tell me about these ones.” He traced the words with his tongue.

“It’s a poem.” She gasped as he blew on her nipple, making it stand at taut attention before he drew it into his mouth. “Ah, uh, the minute I read it, I knew I needed those words on my body. I needed to absorb them.”

“Mmm.” He released her nipple. “What does it mean to you?” 

“Well, I told you how my first year of Uni was terrible, like. But it was more than being lost. I studied too hard and worked too much, and I made myself sick. I had no friends. I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t eating. I was a mess.” She reached down and cupped her breast, running her fingers over the letters, still damp from his tongue. “I collapsed during a dance class and ended up in hospital.”

“God.” He sat up. “Babe…”

“I’m fine now. I really am.” She stroked his cheek. “My new social worker came to check on me and she was wonderful. She really listened and she forced me to slow down and take better care of myself. Made me go to therapy. At first I fought her about wasting time on things like sleep and friendships, when I should have been studying. I felt like, if I let go for even a single second, everything would come crashing down. I remember her grabbing my hand and squeezing it so hard it hurt. And she said, ‘Girl, this is your life. It’s happening right now and you’re missing it. You think you’re being strong, but this isn’t strength. It’s fear. Not feeling things and holding everything so tightly seems like the only option, because it’s worked so far. It’s carried you through all the bullshit. But it’s not working anymore, so you’re going to have to do this another way. It’s time for you to stop hiding behind control so you don’t have to feel anything. Be brave enough to let go.’”

Anxiety fluttered in Bobby’s chest, as if the words had been aimed at him. He pushed it aside and kissed her neck, scraping his teeth over the spot. “Wow, she sounds pure brilliant.”

“That’s Lauren. Annoyingly right about almost everything.”

“Oh!” He stopped kissing her neck. “Lauren, your best friend Lauren?”

“Yeah. She’s basically my mother, sister, best friend and sometimes, when I’m feeling a little dramatic, my worst enemy. She’s the most amazing person. I’m so lucky she came into my life. Anyway, when I saw that poem the words resonated. That’s how I used to feel. _ Bathed in brokenness _. But now I feel strong. I put myself back together.”

He kissed his way down her arm, nipping her wrist, making her moan. He ran his tongue along the inside of her index finger. “Last one, lass.”

She wriggled her fingers, giggling. “You’re going to freak out.”

“I never freak out.” He kissed her palm. 

“Heh. Like how you don’t frown?”

“I don’t!”

“It sounds like you’re freaking out.”

He snorted. “Okay, what does it mean?”

“It’s my name.”

“Your name is…” he hesitated as he tried to recall how she’d said it. “Campechana?”

“Yeah, it’s the worst name. I’ve never used it. My mum chose it and even she never used it. My middle name is Liliana, so everyone just called me that.”

“Liliana.” He nodded. “That’s sexy.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“But why would I freak out about that?”

“Because it’s not a name, like. It’s a pastry.”

“What?” He sat up and bumped his head on the roof of their fort. “What kind of pastry?”

“Campechanas are Mexican puff pastries that are caramelized on top. It’s a _ pan dulce _. My mum baked them every day while she was pregnant with me.” 

“What are the ingredients? How do you make them?” New kinds of baked goods filled him with an embarrassing amount of excitement.

“I knew you’d ask me that! I have no idea. She never taught me how. Phyllo and… something.” 

His grumble of disappointment made her snicker. “Campechana.” He tested the name on his tongue, as he trailed heated kissed down her stomach. “You’re literally a dessert.” He made his way to her bronze thighs and slid them apart. “That explains why you taste so sweet.” The sizzling laugh on her lips turned into a gasp as he pushed her legs up, hooking them over his shoulders, and buried his face between them. 

He drew every bit of pleasure from her, until she shuddered beneath him and cried out his name at least twice. He kissed his way back up to her lips and reached for the condoms. He was hard and desperate for her. “I want you so much,” he murmured against her mouth.

“I want you too, but first—” She sat up, her curls falling all over in pure gorgeous disarray. Her body was still quivering with the aftershocks of an orgasm and pride rushed through him. “It’s time you told me something about you,” she said. “Something no one else knows.”

He pulled her close and kissed her. She melted against him. “Later,” he said. 

She shook her head. “No. Now.”

He groaned and flopped onto his back. “Way to kill the mood, Lil.”

She straddled his thighs and took his cock in her hand. “My mood is very much alive thank you. Now stop avoiding this. You ask me about myself all the time. Tell me something about you.” She dipped her head low and took him in her mouth, stroking him with her soft tongue.

“Oh fuck,” he groaned. Her pulsing suction turned his brain inside out. “I don’t think I can speak seriously while you’re doing that.” He regretted his words instantly, when she released him from the warmth of her mouth and rolled away. 

She sat up on one elbow. “I’ll come back to that, then.”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” he said. “What do you want to know?”

“Well, you never talk about your mum and dad. I know a lot about your sister but almost nothing about your parents, other than your dad’s a nurse and your mum is a music teacher. Are they still together?”

“No. No. They were pretty unhealthy as a couple. They divorced when I was twelve.”

Her fingers tangled with his on his chest. “That must have been difficult for you.”

“Honestly? Not really. All of our lives improved.” He stared into her dark eyes and felt that pull, that draw to spill his guts. It scared him, but the words were already rolling out. “My mum was… possessive. She started fights and threw things and screamed accusations at my poor dad. You couldn’t convince her that he wasn’t fooling around. The man worked twelve-hour days at the hospital. He was exhausted all the time. He wasn’t having an affair.” He stretched the tension from his neck. “After the divorce she got help. She’s medicated and doing better now. But back then, she was a mess. She’d lock herself in her room for days at a time, and it was like, she forgot to be our mum. I always wanted to fix it, so I’d bake things to make her happy. I took care of my sister. Gave her baths, did the laundry, dressed her for school, cooked meals. When my dad was home from work, I told him jokes and did comedy routines in the living room to cheer him up.”

“You were so young, trying to hold your family together.” She ran her finger between his brows. “I did the same thing.”

“Aye, but my family was fine. We had problems, but not like yours. It wasn’t—”

She held up a hand. “Never do that. Just because my childhood was totally fucked, doesn’t mean that I can’t empathize with what you went through, babe. It doesn’t matter whose scars are bigger. I just want to know yours.”

He grabbed her hand and kissed her palm, suddenly desperate to spill the feelings that he’d tucked away for so long. He wanted to be as brave as she was. “It was awful,” he whispered. “The yelling was just awful. But when she locked herself in her room, that was worse. I was always scared she wouldn’t come back out. And it hurt to see my dad stuck in such a painful relationship. He wasted so many years… And my poor mum. Seeing her now, I barely recognize the person she was. She’s so light and funny and smart. But back then, she was volatile.” He swallowed. “The sky was always dark with her. No sunshine. She was like a tropical storm, ready to turn into a hurricane at any moment.”

Lili squeezed his hand. “And here you are, still trying to fix everything for everyone, making us laugh, playing the sun, so none of us can see your storm.”

He stroked her jaw. “Sometimes I can’t believe how much you see of me.”

“I see you, Bobby.” She kissed him and he kissed her back, and in that moment he felt fragile. And a little broken. He’d never spoken about his childhood ever. It wasn’t something you could make a joke out of. 

She held his face, splaying her fingers wide and staring straight into him, past his walls and jokes and fears. “You don’t have to be the sun for me all the time, you know. Let your storm out. I’m not afraid of it.”

He stared into her dark eyes, and suddenly wanted to tell her so much. About his sister’s resentment of their mum for not being there more. His father’s new relationship, which was beautiful and healthy, but still filled Bobby with bittersweet sadness, because the foolish romantic in him always hoped his parents would find their way back to each other. He wanted to tell her more about growing up as the only black kid in his school. About all the punches to the face and cruel words he took because of it. And soaring above it all, he wanted to talk about the pain of knowing that no matter how many jokes and comedy routines and songs he learned, none of it was enough to hold everyone he loved together._ He _ was never ever enough. But it was too much. “A little thunder at a time,” he said, his voice raw. “I can’t…”

She shuffled between his legs and nodded. “I understand. Storms are big. A little thunder at a time is all I ask. Just let me know you, Robert.”

“You know that no one calls me Robert, don’t you?”

Her laugh warmed him as she ran her tongue over his cock, making his hips jerk. “I call you Robert when you deserve to be called it. So that’s factually inaccurate.” She enveloped him in her mouth. Oh fuck. 

“I apologize for being factually inaccurate,” he grunted, as she drew him in him like an ice lolly in summer heat. “It sort of turns me on when you say it. Like I’m in trouble.”

“Oh, you are.” She opened a condom packet and rolled it over him. Sliding him inside of her, she wriggled adorably and sat upright with a gasp that he matched. “So much trouble, Robert.”

He gripped her hips. “I’m very comfortable with trouble.”

“Mmm.” She leaned back, searching for a comfortable angle. Biting her lip, she rolled her middle with the same sensuousness she used when she danced. Undulating above him, she flowed like ocean waves. So beautiful.

He stroked her clit and watched her face, the subtle shifts as pleasure built within. Buried inside of her, he felt more awake, more real than he’d ever been before and suddenly just touching her like that wasn’t enough. He grabbed hold of her ass and sat up. She gave a cry as he buried his face in her neck and kissed and licked her soft skin. She gripped his shoulders and made use of those strong hip flexors, riding him harder. Oh, it was so good. He made his way down her chest and gripped her nipples, tugging with his fingers. He put his mouth high on her breast and sucked hard. She gripped his hair as he pulled her in deeper and deeper. When he stopped sucking, there was a rapidly darkening bruise where his mouth had been. 

He’d marked her. As though she were his. He looked up at her and she looked down at him. Something burned in her eyes and she pressed her mouth to his neck and he felt the stinging sensation and knew that she had marked him too. 

He was overwhelmed by what that meant. She pulled back and looked at him and he closed his eyes. 

“Please look at me,” she whispered, cupping his jaw. 

He opened his eyes and stared deep into hers. Suddenly, light and leaves, windstorms and thunder, everything swirled at once inside of his chest. But the light—the dazzling light—swelled until it illuminated everything, stripping him of all the shadows he’d been hiding in. It shone like a lighthouse beacon, pulling him closer to a shore he’d been searching for his whole life.  
  
His eyes ached. Blinded, disoriented, he clung to her, afraid of letting go, even as he felt himself fall. “Lil, I… I…” 

Everything slowed. She tightened on him and cried out, a wrenching sound that sent his body over the edge. He gripped her ass and thrust upward, coming deep inside of her, the words that had been on the tip of his tongue lost against hers. 

Shaking, she pressed her face to his shoulder, and after a moment he felt wetness trickle down his chest. He lifted her chin. Tears drizzled down her cheeks. He didn’t ask why. Something profound had passed between them and his eyes pulsed with unshed tears of his own.

He kissed her, feather soft and tender, making promises that couldn’t be said aloud, though he meant every silent word. She stroked his cheek and kissed him back. Her glow—streaks of white and violet—pulsed like a heartbeat and he pulled her closer. They stayed locked together for a long time. When they finally parted, there was a silent understanding that words would only get in the way and so neither of them spoke as they cleaned up the bed area, dismantled the fort, and headed back.

The communal bedroom was empty. They headed upstairs to the bathroom, where they climbed in the shower. They washed each other reverently and made love again, pressed against the wall, their bodies molded together, eyes locked in the steamy air. And when they emerged, he grabbed a soft towel and dried her off, as if she were a goddess emerging from a sacred spring. And she did the same for him.

They dressed silently, and he glanced at himself in the mirror. The mark on his neck was purple and undeniable. He picked up his shirt, but his gaze flicked to Lili. The mark on her breast was not hidden by her golden-brown skin nor her white bikini. He stroked his finger over it, tracing the odd shape. She did the same to his and they gave each other shy smiles. He looked down at the shirt and tossed it aside. Fuck it. 

He was hers. And she was his. 

It was time everyone knew it.

## ***

They hadn’t even made it out of the villa when Bobby’s phone pinged, splintering the tender silence they’d been holding onto.

“‘Please head to the beach hut,’” he read. 

Lili groaned, and he kissed her forehead. “Come on, lass. It’s time to confess our sins.”

“We’re going to be there for a while then, aren’t we?”

“Bless me father, for I have sinned.” He skimmed his hands over the full curve of her ass and gave it a squeeze. “And I intend to do it again.”

She laughed and he felt lighter than air. They headed to the beach hut and cuddled up in the huge wicker chair full of pillows. He slung an arm around her shoulders and peppered squeaky kisses on her cheek while they waited for the text questions. 

After their initial confessionals back on day two, the producers had disappeared. Now, they recorded them alone, with just a stationary camera and questions texted to them. It was an improvement. The beach hut was one of the few places in the villa where you were completely alone and after being surrounded by people all day every day, the stillness left you relieved, vulnerable, and prone to oversharing.

Which was the point, he guessed. 

Her phone chimed. She held it up. “‘How was your night in the Hideaway?”

His chest and face burned. “Uh, it was…” Love marks or no love marks, they hadn’t discussed how much she was willing to share. He erred on not being serious. “It was great! The bed was proper comfortable, and it was nice to have some time alone. Best sleep I’ve had in weeks.” He looked at her. “What did you think?”

She laughed self-consciously. “It was lovely to get away for a bit. No drama. No gossip. Good sleep. We talked a lot and I feel like we learned so much about each other.” She flushed. “It was magic, like.”

Warmth pooled in his chest. He pulled her close and kissed her temple. “It was magic because you were there.” His phone dinged. “They want to know which girl you trust the most.”

“Hope,” she said, definitively. 

“I would have guessed that you’d say Priya.”

“I like Priya, but I_ trust _Hope. She has her faults, yeah, but I couldn’t ask for a better friend. She’s smart and loyal and she doesn’t spread gossip. It’s hard to find people to trust here. I feel like she has my back.” 

“I get that. Loyalty is everything.” She smiled at him and he felt a little flutter of leaves stirring in his chest. Despite the different tones of their lives, their experiences overlapped in the oddest places. Without really knowing it, she understood a part of him that no one else did.

The next text wanted to know which boy Bobby trusted the most. He considered it. “I think I’d say Noah. He’s always up to listen if you want to talk, and he never spreads gossip. I’d say Rahim too. I trust Gary a bit, but he’s more likely to spill your secrets to a pretty girl in order to pull.”

His phone chimed and she snatched it up. “Least trustworthy girl.” She groaned. “I don’t like to speak badly of anyone, but I guess… Marisol.”

“Wow, really? I wasn’t a fan of being paired with her, but I think she’s a great girl.”

She squirmed. “I’m not saying that she’s a bad person or anything. It’s just... I don’t know. I don’t trust her very much.” 

She looked miserable saying something negative. He leaned over to press his head to hers, but the beep of the phone made her jump and she knocked into his skull. 

He laughed and rubbed at the spot. “Now you show affection with headbutts? Just like my sister’s useless cat, Clawed Monet.”

“Clawed. Like—” she curled her hands into cute little kitten claws. He nodded. “So the puns are genetic, eh?”

“Apparently. Her first cat was Alphonse Meowcha.”

She shook her head. “Art majors.”

“Right?” He looked over her shoulder at her phone. “‘Bobby, there seems to be quite a bit of tension between you and Lucas. What do you really think of him?’” She stiffened beside him. He gave her a questioning look but plowed ahead. “I don’t like to drag people. I usually like everyone, and I think if Lucas and I weren't stuck with each other all day every day we’d probably be—not friends but friendly. But here, he’s the type of spoiled guy who needs to win at everything and he doesn’t care whose toes he steps on to get there. It’s not good for the mood of the villa.” 

She looked bothered, and stared away from him, chewing on the inside of her lip. He pressed two fingers to her mouth. “As delicious as those lips are, they aren’t actually food, lass.” Another ping pulled his attention to his phone. “‘Lili, what did it feel like hearing Lucas confess his…” Bobby faltered, staring at his phone. “His feelings and his reason for being here?’” He turned to look at her. “What… what does that mean?”

Her expression darkened and she shook her head, looking away from him. Pin pricks of uncertainty brushed over him like stinging nettles. “Lil?”

“I was going to tell you. I just needed time.” She blew out a minty breath. “The other night, when Henrik was dumped, Lucas told me he wanted to leave, and I told him not to give up on this. That there was someone coming here who would be just who he needed. And he told me that he didn’t think there would be because…”

“Because you’re already here.” He rolled his eyes. 

She nodded. “Yeah. And he said that he’d applied to the show for a lark, but right before it aired, he changed his mind. He wasn’t going to do it. Except he saw the first two episodes and he… felt something for me.”

The nettles stung harder. “He came on the show just to—just to be with you?”

“That’s what he said.”

He couldn’t decide how to feel. Who wouldn’t see Lili and be smitten? First time he saw her, his brain nearly short circuited. Not just because she was beautiful, but because her aura of light felt like magic. Like home. But he’d always suspected that Lucas’s desire for her wasn’t sincere and that he only wanted what he couldn’t have. If he had really fallen for her, It made him more dangerous. “Do you believe him?”

“I don’t know! But it doesn’t matter if I do or not.”

In the real world she would have been right. It wouldn’t have mattered. You date a beautiful girl, there’s bound to be interested lads. But in the villa, when nothing was a given and promises were terrible ideas, it _ did _matter. She told him before that she wasn’t attracted to Lucas because he was insincere. So, how did she feel now? 

“Look, it was a lot to take in,” she continued. “I’ve never had someone come to me like that and say what he said. I didn’t know how to respond, and I—I did not handle it well.” She grabbed his hand. “I wasn’t hiding anything. I’ve been trying to figure out the right way to talk about it with you, but I barely know what to say.”

He wanted to believe her. She didn’t keep secrets. She said so. She cared for him. Maybe more than cared. After their morning, he didn’t doubt that she had feelings. He just didn’t know how solid they were. And they weren’t in a place where he could ask. 

He did his best to shake it off and gave her a reassuring hug. “It’s alright. It was a surprise, but mostly I’m annoyed that he keeps grafting so hard on you. If you wanted to be with him you would have chosen him.” He stroked her cheek. “Right?”

“Right,” she said. 

“Do you want me to talk to him? Because if he’s bothering you…”

“No!” She gripped his hand tighter. “I appreciate it, but I feel strange enough about the whole thing. I don’t want drama or fighting over it. I can handle it.”

“I don’t fight. I’m a reasonable guy.”

“Please leave it alone, babe.” Her eyes were soft and pleading. “I’m going to talk to him. I promise.”

He blew out a breath. “Alright. But… talk to _ me _about what’s going on. Even if you don’t know what to say, okay?” 

“Okay.” She pressed her head to his. “Thank you. I really appreciate your trust in me. That’s so important in relationships, and even more so in here. Without it we don’t have anything.”

He nodded. Because he trusted her. He did. He was pretty sure he did. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he sighed. “I didn’t realize these questions would be so intense.”

“They’re testing us, aren’t they?” She leaned her head to his shoulder and picked up her phone as it buzzed.

They had a few other questions but nothing he could recall. All he felt was the tension in Lili’s shoulders, the way her eyes darted to his as if she were feeling guilty. He tried to hold onto the warmth of the morning. Of the sting of the love mark on his neck. She’d claimed him. No one else. He could trust her. He had to. Otherwise, he might lose her. 

Panic scraped at his insides. He couldn’t. Not when he’d just found her. There was no way he’d survive it. He’d been battered and bruised after Davina dumped him and she hadn’t even _ seen _ him the way Lili had. His lass wasn’t just a pretty girl. She was made of a light so bright it chased away his shadows, and when she was near it felt like his most broken pieces could be melted down and transformed into something new and whole and strong. 

He needed her. 

When the text informed them that they could leave the beach hut, he pulled Lili to his lap and kissed her. At first soft and sweet, just wanting her close. But he forgot the camera, forgot everything, as soon as she was in his arms. He wasn’t ready to share her with the villa. Or with anyone. He was tired of cameras and texts ordering them apart. He deepened the kiss and she made a rumbly sound in her throat and sucked on his lower lip. They kissed madly and his hands slid down her back. She giggled and pulled away, her cheeks a feverish pink. 

He stared at her, holding onto her soft look. He wanted so much to tell her how he felt but he was still on the edge of his own acceptance of it. All he knew for certain was how much he wanted this to last. 

The moment they stepped out of the beach hut, Lottie, Priya, and Hope mobbed Lili and yanked her away, no doubt to interrogate her for Hideaway details. He wandered across the lawn, his mind lost in Lili. The guys were lounging around chatting in the morning sun, on the beanbag chairs. 

“There he is!” Gary shouted. “Thought you were never leaving the Hideaway.”

“Almost didn’t,” he said. “It was nice not waking up to four other guys’ morning stauners bobbing around the room.” He sat down. “What are you talking about?”

“Adventure Golf!” Rahim said. 

“Yeah but now that you’re here, we need to talk about that.” Gary pointed at Bobby’s neck, looking gleeful. “Someone did more than small bits.”

Noah raised his eyebrows. Rahim cleared his throat. Lucas looked away. Bobby suddenly felt self-conscious about the declaration coloring his skin. “Um.” Heat spread up from his chest to his eyebrows and he looked down at the ground. “A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.” 

“Which is what every gentleman says when something fun happened,” Gary pressed. 

“If he doesn’t want to talk about it, he doesn’t have to,” Rahim said. “Some things are private.”

Gary rolled his eyes. “Lottie is going to get it all out of Lili, and we’ll all know soon enough.”

“How about this,” Noah said. “How are you feeling today, Bobby?”

He tried to stay chill, but a huge smile swept over his face and he sighed happily. 

“See, that’s the only answer we need.” Noah patted his shoulder. “You look happy, mate.”

“I am,” he said. “Lili’s just… she’s special, you know?”

On the green beanbag beside his, Lucas shot to his feet and muttered something about his water bottle. He took off across the lawn. Bobby watched him go, his feelings conflicted for the first time when it came to Lucas. The resentment, and the bitter jealousy were still there, but it was all knotted up with an uncomfortable, unwelcome sympathy for the guy. His feelings were real, too. 

Everyone watched Lucas go, and Bobby hated the awkward silence that fell. He turned to Rahim and grinned. “So! Adventure Golf!”

By the time lunch came and went, he’d seen Lili a handful of times, and she was always being pulled in one direction or another by the girls. He managed to get a smooch in when he caught her leaving the kitchen, but she had to run. Lottie was waiting for her. 

He sighed and grabbed a mango. He was halfway through it when Marisol wandered over and started rifling through the fruit bowl, pulling out a shiny, green apple. She washed it thoroughly and joined him at the counter. 

“So how are the lust goblins doing today?” 

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen any.”

She gave an inelegant snort. “You look all loved up.”

He smiled mysteriously and continued eating his mango. She sighed and leaned back. “I wish I were feeling the same.”

Tingles of wariness rose on Bobby’s skin. “Trouble in paradise already? You and Lucas seem like a decent match.”

“I thought so too, but he’s not interested in me. He’s completely hung up on… someone else.”

He rolled his eyes. “Lili.”

Marisol sighed again. “Yes. And it wouldn’t be so bad if she’d let him off the hook.”

The sweet mango pulp turned to cement. He grabbed a napkin and wiped his mouth. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean—” she squared her shoulders. “I’m not saying that Lili doesn’t want to be with you, but I don’t think she’s been very convincing to Lucas of that. After the recoupling last night, it was clear from his body language that he was upset. But it was more than disappointment. He seemed...shocked. I think he truly believed that she was going to choose him.”

No. That wasn’t possible. Lili said she didn’t have any doubts. That there was no one else she wanted. “Are you playing some kind of game, because if you are…”

“No. I’m not. Look, what if the viewers had it right? Lili is a nice girl, but maybe she’s a nice girl who really enjoys all this attention. She certainly has the bulk of it.” Marisol shrugged. “Then again, it’s still early days. Keeping our options open is a smart thing to do, and Lili is certainly smart.” She took a bite of the apple, her teeth breaking through the vibrant green skin. “I was really hoping to make a connection with Lucas but…” She chewed thoughtfully. “Based on the number of people here, the show should be bringing in at least two new people soon. So, who knows?” She tossed the half-eaten apple in the bin. “See you later.” She rounded the corner of the kitchen and disappeared. 

Bobby tossed the rest of his mango, his appetite gone. What should have been a hazy blissful day was turning to storm clouds. Lili _ had _chosen him, but how narrowly had he won her affection? If she was on the fence with Lucas, how could he compete with a guy who literally traveled across countries to be with her? 

He found himself going back over every word she’d said in the confessional. 

_ I’ve never had someone come to me like that and say what he said. _She didn’t say what she felt about it, did she? Only that she was caught off guard. Maybe she was flattered by it. 

_ I didn’t know how to respond, and I _ — _ I did not handle it well. _ What kind of response was she talking about? She didn’t know how to let Lucas down gently or she didn’t know how to tell Bobby that it had changed things for her?

_ I’ve been trying to sort out the right way to talk about it with you but I barely know what to say. _ She was conflicted. But in what way? Had she seriously considered switching to Lucas? 

Fuck. He knew it. He always knew. This thing, this magical thing, felt like fate, but it also felt more fragile than spun sugar. And here he was again, caught out in the ether, falling through another daydream, desperate to believe that he could be loved. That she would choose him.  
  
“Stop it,” he snarled aloud in the empty kitchen. She _ did _ choose him. Why was he so hung up on whether she’d chosen _ only _him? It didn’t matter. The mark on his neck wasn’t ambiguous. She was sending a message. More than that, she told him how much his trust meant to her. If she knew how twisted up and jealous he was, she’d run the other way and he couldn’t let that happen. 

He took a deep breath. Marisol was prone to starting trouble. And Lili did say she didn’t trust her. Maybe Marisol was bitter because she wasn’t getting along with Lucas.

The sweetness of the morning had gone sour and he wanted the honey back. He sidestepped everyone and went upstairs. He paused at the vanity and smiled at Lili’s makeup area. Everyone else’s was a disaster, but hers was tidy. Lipsticks and eyeliners and mascara lined up in a row. Her hairpins in a neat pile. He grabbed one, running his finger over the shiny ridged edges. His Lili. He kept hold of it and headed for the terrace. The sun was bashing down on his head, but that was alright. He’d never been one for silence, but after their quiet peace in the Hideaway, the villa was suddenly far too loud. 

He flopped down on the bench seat and stroked the pin. Lili cared for him. And even if she did harbor some conflicted feelings about Lucas, she’d _ chosen _him. But he couldn’t go on so unsure. As terrifying as it was to bare his insecurities, he needed to talk to her and get it out in the open. Had she let Lucas believe that she might choose him? If she wasn’t as sure as he was it wasn’t the end of the world. He could still trust her. 

“What did she say?” A masculine voice drifted on the breeze and Bobby sat up, peeking over the terrace railing. On the breakup bench, hidden behind the kitchen, he spotted Hope and Lucas sitting close together. 

And he could hear them clear as day. 

“What do you think?” Hope sounded exasperated. “She’s happy.”

“I honestly thought she was going to choose me.”

“I know she didn’t say that.”

“No, but she didn’t say she wouldn’t either. When we talked the night before the recoupling, there was a moment where I thought maybe…” Lucas scrubbed his hands together. “I came here for her. I can’t just give up on this.”

“Babe, she chose someone else. That’s a sign.”

“She’s scared. Of what this could be. Bobby is the easy choice. I’m the _ right _one. She acted like she was so sure when she stood up, but I know she wasn’t.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “He’s a likable lad, and the viewers are eating that up. Even from the first episode. I keep wondering if she’s sticking with him because it might look bad for her to dump him if she wants to win. He’s clearly into her and only her. She’d have to hurt him to be with me.”

The words slammed home, and the air left Bobby’s body in a painful whoosh.

“I don’t think ..." Hope seemed to gather her thoughts. “Yes, he’s the easy choice and I think that’s what’s so appealing to her about him. She’s skittish about relationships and Bobby isn’t serious about anything. There’s no pressure there. Honestly, you’re too intense, babe.”

His hands tightened on the railing. There was no way Lili had told Hope it was just a summer fling. That he wasn’t serious. Not with the way she’d asked him what it all meant, the way she’d looked into his eyes and clung to him, tears rolling down his shoulder. That was real. It had to be. 

“I’m telling you, she’s careful about how she says everything, but she’s hinted.”

Hope sighed. “It’s not that I don’t hear what you’re saying. You and Lili could be good together. And you’ve got a lot to offer her that Bobby doesn’t. But she came out of that Hideaway glowing, Lucas. Glowing. Even if there was a chance before, there isn’t one now.”

“So he’s good at making her come. So what? You act like I can’t do that.”

Hope smiled mysteriously and lowered her voice. “I’m well aware that you can. I don’t know how I kept a straight face when you walked into the villa.” She chuckled. 

He slid closer. “You know we could probably find a quiet corner to recreate that weekend.”

She giggled and slapped his arm playfully. “I’m with Noah.”

“And we both know that if Noah had half a chance, he’d be all over Lili.”

Her expression hardened to stone. “That was cruel.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” He cupped her hands in his. “Be honest though. Do you really want to be with Noah? You two have been sniping at each other all day. You and I could be a power couple too.”

Hope hesitated. Bobby’s breath caught. Hope wasn’t his favourite type of person, but she was loyal. Like Lili.

“Noah and I are going to win,” she said, finally. “We’re a day-one couple and we have the best relationship here.”

He stroked his thumb over Hope’s jaw and drew her closer. “You didn’t answer the question though, did you?” He leaned forward and teased his lips over hers. She sighed against his mouth as he kissed her.

Rage, bright and flaming like a forest fire, replaced Bobby’s shock. Hope had Noah on the shortest leash possible. She freaked out when he spoke to another girl. Everyone in the villa was suffocating under her intensity, her jealousy, and her temper. And she didn’t even have the decency to be loyal? 

Hope put her hand on Lucas’s chest and pushed him back. “No. No. I shouldn’t have—” She took a shaky breath. “I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t enjoy our time together or wonder what could have been. And after the show, who knows? But I’m not jeopardizing what I have now, just to be your consolation prize.” Gracefully, she stood and looked down at him. “Whether you like it or not, Lili chose Bobby. I’m choosing Noah.” She lifted her chin. “You can try to make it work with Marisol or wait for someone new. Those are _ your _choices.” She walked off, leaving Lucas alone.

Bobby laid back down and rested his forearm on his head, as though he could hold in the scattershot panicked thoughts rattling his skull and looking for escape. 

Hope didn’t care about Noah. She cared about winning. She was holding him back from something real. Maybe she was encouraging Lili to do the same. Stay with the_ easy _choice. 

_ After the show, who knows? _

Perhaps that was Lili’s end game, too. Keep the other guy simmering on the back burner, win with the likeable clown, and then run off to bloody fuck Cumbria or wherever to ride motorbikes and eat asparagus for breakfast. 

He slammed his fist on the bench. No. That wasn’t who Lili was. Lucas was reaching. He wanted to believe that Lili wanted him. It was Hope who was faithless and scheming. Stringing Noah along until later, so she could win. 

His hands were shaking, and his mood was dark when he wandered over to Priya sitting on the day bed. 

“My my my, Bobby,” she said. “You look great. Lili really is a lucky girl.”

He flushed and looked away. “I’m not telling you anything about the Hideaway if that’s what you’re wanting to know.”

“No. You two are being awful tight-lipped considering these things.” She traced the mark on his neck with her fingernail and he shivered. She giggled. “Sooooo, those eggs aren’t leaving her basket now, are they?”

“No they aren’t,” he said, feeling more unsettled than he cared to admit. “I’m the guy for her and she’s the girl for me.”

“Aw, that’s cute. I’m sure you’re right.” She patted his arm. Rahim joined them, propping his chin on Priya’s shoulder. “But the villa can mess with you,” she said, ignoring Rahim. “It’s only been ten days. Right now, we’re all testing each other out, like cars before you buy them. Lili may seem like a Lamborghini right now — and trust me, she is — but your own personal Bugatti might walk through that door tomorrow.” She turned to look at Rahim. “Speaking of cars, what do you drive?”

Rahim’s brows drew together. “Um, a Range Rover Overfinch.” She looked less than impressed. “It’s a custom Supercharged V8! Very high end! And it has a hatchback for my golf clubs.”

Priya shook her head and swung her gaze to Bobby. “What do you drive?”

“It’s metallic purple,” Rahim grumbled.

Bobby squirmed. “Uh, a very high end 2000 Toyota Celica.” She pulled a face. “Hey, I’m a hospital caterer remember? Anyway, the rust makes it vintage.” It was a joke he made many times over the years to hide his embarrassment at having such an old ugly car. He usually just took the subway. The people watching was more fun that way, and no one judged his empty wallet. 

He cleared his throat and looked toward the pool. Hope sat at the edge, skin gleaming with suncream. Noah was swimming beside Lucas. She watched them both closely. Probably worried that Lucas would say something to Noah. Or maybe weighing her options still. Anger spiked in Bobby. 

Over on a sun lounger, Lili stretched and reached for her curls, pulling them up into a bun. His brows drew together. Lottie was nowhere to be found, so she was alone for the first time all day. He was glad she had some time without everyone bothering her, but a niggling voice in the back of his head wanted to know why she hadn’t gone looking for him. He wanted to spend every moment with her. Did she not feel the same? 

He growled under his breath. It was an unfair thought. She had the right to alone time. 

Lucas hopped out of the pool, water sluicing down his body. He walked over to Lili and stood over her, flexing his chest and arms. She put her hand over her eyes, shielding them from the sun as she looked up at him. Whatever he said, she shook her head. He frowned as she sat up, but he reached down and offered her a hand. She stood without taking it. She crossed her arms, and they walked off toward the kitchen. 

Bobby’s heart squeezed. Maybe she was telling him to back off. 

Or maybe she was confused and regretting her choice last night. He slid on his sunglasses to avoid anyone catching onto his feelings.

Priya’s gaze followed them as well. “I bet Lucas drives something really nice.”

“Probably not as nice as you’re thinking,” Rahim said. “He’s posh, but he also works at a hospital. You don’t drive an Aston Martin to hospital. Anyway, I bet he doesn’t own a car at all. He told me he’s got a few different motorbikes. A couple of Ducati’s and a Triumph. But he never mentioned a car.”

She made a face. “Ugh. What about Noah? What do you think he drives?”

“VW Bug,” Bobby said, absently, looking toward the pool. “He seems the type.” 

“Hmph,” she said. Across the way, Hope was talking animatedly, but Noah scowled in her direction. “They’ve been bickering for most of the morning, you know. They should be having fun instead of bundling up like an old married couple.”

“Priya…” Rahim trailed off, sounding annoyed. 

“Well, I just think someday soon Noah’s head is going to turn and Hope’s gonna wish she’d played the field.” 

She already was. Bobby’s ire rose again. Fucking Hope. Faithless. Lying. Kissing Lucas behind her partner’s back. 

“This again?” Rahim said.

“What? You agreed with me before! I’m not wrong here.” Priya slid her sunglasses on. “We call them _ Nope _ for a reason! They’re never apart except to change clothes. She literally never lets him out of her sight. How is he supposed to know that what they have is real, if she doesn’t allow him to see his other options?”

“I know,” Rahim said. “But you can’t talk to him about it, he shuts it right down.”

“We’ve got to do something you know? To help him out.”

Bobby raised his eyebrows. “In what way?”

“Well he deserves to play the field and see if someone could be more compatible for him. And if he _ wants _to play the field, it will prove that I’m right and that it’s too soon to get so date-y.” She arched her back. “We should test him.”

“Yeah yeah, but how?” Rahim asked. 

“Well someone would have to try to turn his head.” She picked at the ends of her hair. “For science. Then we’d know once and for all.”

Rahim’s raised an eyebrow. “Who would do it?” 

She shrugged. “I mean, I could.”  
  
Bobby recalled what Lucas had said. _ We both know that if Noah had half a chance, he’d be all over Lili. _ He did seem unusually fond of her. Lili might be more likely to turn his head than Priya, proving that _ Nope _ wasn’t the dream couple Hope was pretending they were. And asking her to do it would prove to Lili that he trusted her. Then she’d know that what they had was real. 

He reached into his pocket and stroked the black hairpin. “Lili could do it.”

Priya looked surprised and a little agitated. “What happened to all those eggs?”

“I trust her.”

She made a face. “Well, we could both try it.”

“I don’t know…” Rahim said. 

“Oh come on! It’ll be fun!” She shook his shoulders. “Let’s do it for Noah. It’ll be like a military operation, freeing Noah from tyranny!”

Bobby’s gaze drifted to the kitchen. Lili sat at the counter nursing a cup of tea as Lucas leaned close. Too close. He reached over and caught one of the curls that had come loose from her top bun and tucked it behind her ear. 

Thorny vines of jealousy wrapped around him and he fought them back. He trusted her. He had to trust her. Swallowing, he directed his attention back to Hope who was stroking more suncream on her long legs, looking smug as ever. Priya was right. None of this was fair to Noah. He cared for her. He was loyal. Maybe he wasn’t as minted as Lucas, maybe he couldn’t offer her as much, but he was a good lad and he deserved someone honest. Someone who didn’t fake being smitten while secretly pining for someone else. 

He squeezed his fists tight and loosened them. This was about honesty and fairness. “If we’re going to free him, we need a name for this.”

“Yesssss!” Priya said. “Get on board Rahim!”

From the pool’s edge, a phone chimed, and Hope held hers aloft. “Text!” she called out.

Priya rolled her eyes. “I’m too tired to go out in the sun,” she hollered. “Yell it out!”

Hope gave her a dirty look over the edge of her sunglasses. Lili wandered up with Lucas right behind her, looking stoic. Noah swam up, looking equally stoic. “‘Islanders, tonight the Villa will be hosting a Ministry of Sound Party,’” she read. “‘Make sure you all dress to impress!’” She gave a squeal of joy and poked her toe at Noah’s chest. “We get to scrub up nice and dance the night away!”

Noah scowled and pushed further back in the water. “I never know what to wear. I don’t have any fancy clothes for that kind of party.”

“Babe, you have plenty of nice-looking clothes. They’re not flashy because you have classic taste, and there’s nothing wrong with that.” He gave her a sharp look but didn’t say anything. “Well I like them,” she said, her voice laced with frustration. “Shouldn’t that be all that matters? Unless you’re trying to impress someone else.” Her head tilted ever so slightly toward Lili, who gave Hope a confused look.

Noah grumbled something Bobby couldn’t hear, and turned, diving into the water and swimming far away from the conversation. 

“See?” Priya whispered. “He’s miserable.”

Rahim nodded. “Yeah. I don’t want to see him unhappy, but I also don’t know abou—”

Priya fluttered her hands in disregard. “Alright, we’re all in!” She turned to Bobby. “Do you have any clever name ideas? I’m not very good at that sort of thing.”

He nodded, staring at Hope as she stood and flung her braids over her shoulder and glared at Noah. Lili reached toward her, but Hope shook her head and stomped off toward the villa. No doubt to daydream about kissing Lucas some more. Lili went to follow but Lucas grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, his fingers massaging her wrist. 

Bobby forced his teeth to unclench and took a slow, deep breath. “Let’s call it ‘Operation: _ Nope _.’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and thank you so much for your patience with me as I struggled with this chapter. I've been debating what to do with this story since it's already longer than a publishable novel and according to my outline, I'm still only halfway to the end. Sigh. I can give you guys a super unrealistic but blissfully happy ending soon, or I can give you a longer story that is more complicated and angsty, but has an *earned* happy ending for Bobby. I dunno what I'm gonna do yet. It all hinges on how much fun I have with Casa. 
> 
> Anyhow, that's a problem for future Christy. Current Christy is ecstatic to be done with this chapter and very proud of that Hideaway scene 💖
> 
> Thank you as always to Prim and Jolene for being the most magical and beautiful people I've ever known. You are the Lilis to my angsty Bobby, except without all the sweaty bonin'.


	31. And the Sky Turned Black Like A Perfect Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Operation Nope gets underway and things...go awry. Voices are raised. Stuff is thrown. No sexy times are had by anyone. THEIR ANGST SUSTAINS ME.

Priya clapped her hands together. “This is such a good idea!”

Bobby shoved aside the soft voice in his head that wondered if it was. But he forced himself to look at everything with irreverence and positivity. Like Lili would. _ Operation: Nope _ was simple. See if someone could turn Noah’s head. And if they could, it would prove that it was too soon for him to be coupled up so tightly with Hope. And if he didn’t…

“Wait, what if it doesn’t work?” he said. 

“What do you mean?” Priya narrowed her eyes. 

“I mean what if he doesn’t go for it?”

“Oh, he will. You know he will.”

“If Lili tries it out, maybe,” Rahim said. “But even then, I’m not so sure.”

Priya shot him a deathly glare. Unease surged past Bobby’s defenses. That soft voice grew a little louder. _ Maybe Priya just wants to try it on with Noah and managed to manipulate Rahim into approving it. _

No. Priya could be a little selfish and more than a little destructive, but she wouldn’t do that to her partner. She just wouldn’t. Anyway, this was about freeing Noah and giving Hope her comeuppance for jerking Noah around while she was kissing someone else.

And the icing on the cupcake was that he could show Lili that he trusted her. Whatever she chose to do, she would know that he felt secure about them. 

As if he’d magicked her into appearing, Lili swished around the corner, holding a cookie in her hand. The love mark on her chest had darkened even further and the desire to add another one swept over him. 

“Oi, beautiful, get over here.” He grinned at her and she grinned back, her sunshiny smile nearly stopping his heart.

“It’s a daybed double date!” Priya chirped as Lili sat. 

He grinned and raised his arms in an exaggerated yawn, stretching one around Lili’s shoulders, pulling her closer. “How’s it going?”

“Alright.” Her smile faded a little. “I’m a bit overwhelmed with everyone asking me about the Hideaway.”

“Well, can you blame us?” Priya said. “You do have that Hideaway glow!”

He held up an imaginary microphone. “Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s the Hideaway!” 

Lili rolled her eyes playfully and bumped her shoulder with his. “You’re in rare form today.”

“We all glow in our own ways.” He gave her a wink.

“Alright, let’s not get distracted,” Priya said, “Remember why we called Lili over here?”

“So we could see her beautiful face?” He kissed her warm cheek. 

“No.” Priya glanced around furtively and leaned toward Lili. “It’s weird how Hope and Noah got so serious so quickly, isn’t it?”

“Hope’s pretty serious when she’s into someone,” Lili said.

“Yeah, but are we really supposed to stick with one person here? Isn’t this our time to play the field?”

He stroked Lili’s hand. “They’re obviously infatuated with each other, but I think it’s suspicious too. It’s way too early to be coupled up like that.”

“Infatuation! Exactly. It can’t be real so soon.” Priya batted her hair away from her shoulder.

Rahim cleared his throat. “We do call them _ Nope _ for a reason. Sometimes I get the feeling that they’re performing. Or at least Hope is.” Lili’s brows drew together. 

“Not faking it exactly,” Bobby said. “Just laying it on a little thick.”

“What do you think?” Priya asked.

Lili frowned. “Hope is my friend. I—I feel weird talking behind her back like this.” 

“I get that.” Priya squeezed her hand. “But a true friend would ask these kinds of questions. What if Hope’s missing out on opportunities here? Don’t you want her to have her best shot at happiness?”

Bobby smiled. “Noah’s my friend too, so I get it. But in the real world, I’d be worried if a mate fell for someone so quickly. What if both of them would be happier with someone else and they don’t know it yet, because they got too serious too soon?”

Lili blinked at him for a long moment. Her voice was almost inaudibly soft. “I don’t—I don’t understand your point.”

“We need to test them!” Priya said. “I could try to turn Noah’s head.”

Rahim nodded. “It’ll be weird for me, but I get the reasoning.”

“It’s just an experiment.” Priya stared at her fingernails for a moment and cleared her throat. “It’s not that I fancy Noah or anything like that.”

“Obviously, I think it should be Priya, but I’m not the jealous type,” he said, hoping it sounded truer in his voice than it did in his head. “I trust you, so you could try it too, Lil. For science!” He studied her face, gauging her reaction. She was oddly stoic, and a tiny thread of anxiety pulled loose inside of him. Why wasn’t she saying anything?

“Come on, it’ll be so fun!” Priya whispered. “Want to help us with _ Operation: Nope _?”

Lili straightened and shrugged his arm off her shoulder. “I don’t like this.”

Priya rolled her eyes. “Why? Because you love them _ so much _?”

Lili’s gaze flashed fire. “Because it’s playing games with people’s _ feelings _.”

Alarm bells went off in his head. Lili was so blinded by her friendship with Hope, she couldn’t see the bigger picture. 

“Feelings?” Priya snorted. “What about Noah’s feelings?”

“Ah, leave her alone, Priya.” Lili shot him a dark look and frustration bubbled up in him. She was upset for no reason. If Noah’s head didn’t turn, there was nothing lost. It wouldn’t even matter. “We can execute _ Operation: Nope _ without anybody’s help, I reckon.” 

“Well if Lili doesn’t want to do it, more Noah for me!” 

“Wow,” Rahim said, looking grave. “You’re not even conflicted.”

“Um. Not that I’m looking to recouple, of course!” Priya patted Rahim’s muscular shoulder.

Lili stood abruptly and Priya, fast as a snake, grabbed her hand. She looked intently at her. “Whatever happens, don’t tell anyone else about this. Please.” Lili’s jaw clenched tight and she didn’t respond. “Please,” Priya repeated. “Promise me. As a friend.”

“Noah deserves a chance to be happy. Please, Lil,” he said, stroking her arm. 

Nodding stiffly, Lili pulled away from both of them. “Fine.” Her warmth was nowhere to be found. As if she had closed the shutters on her beaming light. Something was very wrong. She turned and walked off without a word. 

“She’ll keep quiet, right?” Priya asked, looking worried.

“I think so,” Rahim said. “If she said she wouldn’t tell, she won’t.” 

Bobby picked up the uneaten cookie Lili had left behind and stared at it. She thought they were playing games with people’s feelings, and maybe she was right. But it was for the greater good, wasn’t it? For the good of his friend and the villa. But he felt less and less confident about it. “I don’t know if we should do this,” he said. “Maybe Lili’s righ—”

“Oh, come on. Seriously? You were totally on board until Saint Lili got her knickers in a twist. This is what I’m talking about. I thought you were always up for a laugh.”

He shifted uncomfortably but forced himself to smile bright. “Course I am! But we all have to live together, and this might be bad for the villa.”

Her lips twisted. “It’ll be good for the villa in the long run.” She cut Rahim a glance and pressed her water bottle toward him. “Babe, can you refill my water?” He studied her before grabbing it and heading to the kitchen. 

She waited a moment and gave Bobby a tight smile. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Of course we are. I haven’t sung Cardi B with anyone else here, have I?”

“True.” She smiled, but her eyes were pleading. “Back on day three, I did you a big favor by choosing Rahim. If I hadn’t, he wouldn’t have let Lili go for anything.” He squirmed at where he suspected she was going with this. “Now is your chance to pay that back. And you don’t even have to do anything, really.”

Guilt tugged him in two directions. He glanced worriedly toward the villa where Lili had disappeared. He looked back at Priya. Desperation flickered in her expression and he was more certain than ever that she wasn’t being sincere in wanting to help anyone. But she was his friend. And he owed her. “Yeah, alright. Let’s do it.”

She gave a squeak of happiness and pulled him into a tight hug. “You’re the best!” Rahim returned and the two of them discussed the plan for a while, but Bobby’s head wasn’t there. He looked at the cookie, chocolate and butterscotch melting into his hand, and stood. “I’ll see you later.”

“_ Operation: Nope, Operation: Nope _,” Priya whisper chanted. 

“_ Nope _ ! _ Nope _ ! _ Nope _!” he whispered back, faking a smile. 

Turning, he traced Lili’s invisible footsteps into the bedroom entrance of the villa, but she wasn’t there. He headed for the sitting area and stopped when he heard her soft laugh. He peeked around the corner. She was on the couch in the sitting area, where he’d kissed away her tears the night they’d first coupled up. She was beside Noah, their knees touching, their eyes locked. 

His heart dropped. Maybe she’d decided to try turning Noah’s head anyhow. 

“It’s not that,” she said, softly. “She’s been hurt a lot. Hope likes you so much it scares her. That’s why she’s been so on edge and argumentative.”

“She was mean because she likes me too much? I guess that’s nice to know, but it’s pretty immature.” 

“Maybe a little, but come on, Noah. You love that about her. All that fire and bossiness that gets your motor running has corollary negatives.”

“I do love that about her.” Noah chuckled and shook his head. “The guys make fun of how jealous she gets, but...I like it. It makes me feel important to her. And it makes the sex better.” His cheeks darkened and he coughed. “I shouldn’t have...uh, that’s fucked up isn’t it?”

She shrugged. “Maybe. But matching baggage and all that.” For a moment, neither said anything. Noah played with the hoodie in his lap. Finally, Lili sighed. “Look, you’re my friend and I care about you. I wouldn’t tell you to stay in a relationship that made you unhappy. Hope is a little fucked up. And so are you. But you two seem to have something special.”

“It _ feels _special, but I don’t know. What if I don’t know Hope as well as I thought I did? I feel like I miss signals sometimes...” 

“If you genuinely don’t want to be with her, I wouldn’t tell you to keep going.” Lili shook her head. “There’s no point to that. But we both know that isn’t the issue.” Noah stared harder at the hoodie. “Admit it,” she continued, “You’re not upset about an argument. You’re upset because of Lucas.”

Noah froze and Bobby matched him. “You know about that?” 

“Of course. She’s been stressed to tears trying to sort out how to talk to you about it.”

“She didn’t do a great job, to be honest.” He shook his head. “I came to check on her and she basically yelled at me that she and Lucas had hooked up before the show. Then she chucked the hoodie at me and started ranting about it being ruined.”

The cold that had frozen Bobby in place thawed and his skin burned painfully. So Hope _ had _ been honest with Noah. And Lili knew that. 

“Maybe…” Noah let out a breath. “Not maybe. I was definitely more upset about finding out about that, than I was about her saying she made more money than me. She does. That’s a fact. But it’s just...how do I know there aren’t still feelings between them?”

“Well you don’t, that’s the tricky bit. You have to trust her. Even if Hope does still feel something, and she might, she’s got more pride than to go back to someone who ghosted her like Lucas did. Especially when she already has someone who treats her like a queen.”

Noah bit his lip and thought a moment. “You’ve been such a good friend to me and Hope. I really appreciate you being honest with me.”

Lili shifted, guilt flashing across her face. “I—I just want to see you two happy.” She squeezed his shoulder. “Remember too, everything that happens in real life is magnified here. The villa is designed to test us and that can bring out some of our least flattering traits.”

“It’s strange, but you still don’t seem to have any less than flattering traits.”

She snorted. “I have plenty. You’ve never seen me drive. I’m an absolute maniac. And I have a temper. It takes a lot to trigger it, but when it does, duck for cover. I’m a thrower.”

“Why does that sound so sexy to me?” 

“Because you’re all fucked up inside.”

He laughed. “I can’t argue that. Do you think Hope and I can get our connection back?”

“I do. She wants to be with you.”

“That’s encouraging at least. But...what happens if she dumps me for Lucas? I want to stay here. Who could I possibly couple up with?” He turned toward her and there was a strange shift in the air. He gazed at her intently. Bobby’s stomach turned sideways. 

“She won’t,” Lili said. “But if something changes between you two, there will be new girls at some point. It won’t be difficult. You’re a catch Noah.”

Another silence fell. Finally, Noah leaned back. “I’m going to take some time to think before I chat to Hope. It’s been so helpful to talk about it, though. Thanks, Lili. Really.” He stood and reached for her hands. She rose and they were standing far too close. “You look really fit today, by the way,” he said. His voice had dropped low as he pulled her into a hug. 

It went on for a few beats before Lili gave him a squeeze and stepped back. “I’m glad I could help, babe.” 

“I guess I’ll see you at the party.” Noah smiled and waved as he headed outside. Lili’s smile slid off as soon as he walked away. She sat down with a thump and rested her head in her hands, groaning. His chest tightened. He’d completely fucked up and she’d been doing her best to fix it. 

She took a shaky breath and stood up. His feet started moving before he could stop them. “Hey, gorgeous,” he said softly.

“Oh. Hello.” There was no smile, no warmth. Up close, her eyes were glassy. His angel looked so tired. 

“You left your cookie, I wanted to bring it to you…”

She looked down and hesitated before taking it. He reached out to pull her into a hug, but she sidestepped him. “I’m going to take a shower. Before we have to get ready for the party.” Her voice was so flat and lifeless compared to how it’d been with Noah. His heart plummeted. She’d never avoided him, and she certainly never sounded so...empty. 

“Maybe I could jump in with you,” he said. The look she gave him was so cold he shivered. “Wrong time for a joke. Listen Lil, I’m sor—”

“I’ll see you later yeah?” On her always graceful feet, she slipped around him and headed for the stairs, stopping to drop the cookie in the rubbish bin before disappearing. 

He almost followed, but he stopped himself. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the shiny hairpin he’d taken from her earlier. He ran his thumb over it and pushed aside the rising panic. What they had was special and real and it would all be fine. 

It would be fine.

Unsure what to do with himself, he headed for the kitchen. Maybe he could bake Lili some magic cupcakes to help smooth things over. But Lucas and Gary were there, taking up the entire counter with assorted pieces of the smoothie maker spread out before them.

“Alright, Bobbo?” Gary said, shaking his head at the parts.

“I’m great. How’s it going?”

“We were going to make some fruit smoothies.”

Bobby opened the cupboard, searching for nothing, but needing to busy himself. “Missing Rocco, eh?”

“No,” Gary said, making a face. “Lucas wanted to make some fancy kind of fruit smoothie, but someone nicked the o-ring to the smoothie maker.”

“That’s funny,” Lucas said. “Lili thought Rocco might have taken the o-ring. I guess when everyone thinks of smoothies, they think of him.”

“Oh you saw her?” He glanced at Lucas, who was studying the parts, obviously avoiding eye contact. If they talked to her, maybe they had a better idea of what she was feeling.

Gary gestured toward the terrace. “It was a bit ago. She seemed upset about something, but she left to go talk to Hope. I heard from Lottie that _ Nope _ had a pretty bad fight. Don’t know what it was about, but…” he shrugged. 

Lucas’s face twisted at that and he turned to fuss with a piece of machinery on the counter. 

_ Nope. _ His stomach flipped. Hope and Noah had been sincere in their feelings. And if he was being honest, he couldn’t say that Hope had really kissed Lucas back, had she? His guilt swirled like a storm inside. Maybe if he dropped a hint about _ Operation: Nope _, it might get back to Noah and Hope before anything happened and this feeling of impending disaster that was hovering over him would vanish. 

It wasn’t betraying Priya if he just casually dropped a hint was it? “Wouldn’t it be crazy if someone turned Noah’s head?” he said abruptly. 

Lucas looked up. “What? Who?”

He shrugged. “Just...a group of us were talking about it and it’s like, what if someone really planned to try?”

“Oh, is that what you were all discussing on the daybed earlier?” Lucas asked. “I’m surprised Lili would engage in a conversation like that.”

Irritation coursed through him that Lucas knew Lili so well. But he gave a careless smile. “It’s hard for you to keep your eyes off my girl, isn’t it?”

Lucas’s jaw tightened. “She’s not _ your _ anything.”

“Leave off, you two.” Gary’s dark brows, at odds with his bright blonde hair, lowered. “Who would be willing to wreck up their relationship just to turn Noah’s head?”

“Priya,” Lucas said. “Priya’s has had her eye on Noah for a while, I think.”

“Is it Priya, then?” Gary asked, tilting his chin toward Bobby.

God, he hoped they’d take the information straight to Noah. He pointed at his nose and smiled. “I can’t say. But keep _ Operation: Nope _ to yourselves, yeah?” 

Maybe that would be enough.

## ***

It wasn’t enough. 

Bobby took a deep breath and searched the garden for Lili. DJ Big T was still setting up his booth for the Ministry of Sound party and the islanders were wandering aimlessly in their flashiest clothes while they waited for the fun to begin. 

Well, some of them. Hope and Noah were off by themselves definitely not waiting for fun. Priya was missing. Rahim was fuming. Lili was avoiding him. Things were not fine.

Earlier, he’d been smoothing his dress shirt when Hope had marched downstairs in a shiny dress and gold tattoo stickers all over her stormy face. She’d stood in front of him glaring. “Care to have a chat?” 

“Uh, sure.” He’d followed her and Noah outside, anxiety swirling like a tornado. 

She’d spun on him abruptly. “How could you and Lili do this to us?” 

It was one of the most awkward conversations he’d ever had. Noah was somehow even quieter than usual, but Hope was fuming, convinced that Lili had been part of the plot. 

Turned out that after he’d told Gary and Lucas about _ Operation: Nope _, Gary had told Lottie, who told Hope, just like Bobby had wanted. Except, Lottie also told Hope that Lili was there when it had been discussed. 

His game of telephone had blown up in his face. Much like the entire plan. 

He’d managed to appease them, apologizing and explaining that people in the villa didn’t feel like their relationship was sincere and were worried that they’d rushed in. He also made sure to tell them that Lili wasn’t a part of it and didn’t approve. Hope, to her credit, listened to every word without question. When he finished explaining, she’d sighed and hugged him, seeming to be done with the whole thing.   
  
But when she’d grabbed Noah’s arm to tug him away, he shook his head and gave Bobby the full weight of his amber glare. “I’m honestly hurt. I thought we were friends.”

“We are. I thought I was helping…” he’d trailed off, staring at the ground. 

“What would have helped was if you’d talked to me.” Taking Hope’s hand, Noah had spun on his heel, leaving him all alone with his clawing guilt.

Whenever he’d visited Jamaica as a kid, his cousins would drag him into all the foolish games they played. Whether it was convincing the prettiest “bad gyals” to sneak off to blaze with them behind the mango trees, or heading to the gullies to skateboard amid the rusty nails and trash—and inevitably get injured—he was always part of the trouble there. Mostly because he hadn’t understood the patois enough to make jokes, so he said very little and agreed to almost anything. And his aunties, sensing that he’d been pulled into their shenanigans, would ignore him, choosing instead to tut and holler at his cousins. “Lawd a massi, yuh foolish bwoys! Member, _ anancy rope tie anancy _!” 

_ A spider traps himself in his own web. _ You drag others into your games and manipulations and you’re the one who ends up in trouble. Truer words were never hollered by anyone. 

They echoed in his head as he spotted Lili sitting by herself on a lounger, staring up at the night sky. She hadn’t spoken to him since he’d given her the cookie. God, he’d fucked up so badly and he wasn’t even sure why. He was always the person who kept everyone else calm and happy, not the one who caused drama. But now that he had, he needed to fix things as best he could. Especially with Lili. 

Maybe it was time to do something romantic. On the bar in the kitchen were shiny silver buckets, each holding a bottle of pink champagne, surrounded by little plastic glasses that were likely going on the barren cocktail tables spread across the lawn. There was also a big gaudy bouquet of flowers on the bar, with neon stuff sticking out of it. He raced to gather a bucket, some glasses, and a bunch of flowers picked from the bouquet and carried it all upstairs. He’d lay out a nice little spread with wine and take Lili some flowers and ask her to come upstairs so they could talk. 

It was all fixable if they just talked. 

He balanced everything in one arm and opened the door to the terrace. Priya was already there though, sitting on the bench, holding a ball of tissues and sniffling. Oh no. He came over and sat beside her on the bench. 

“Are you alright?” 

“No.” She expertly patted away the tears that dribbled from the corners of her eyes. “When I came here, I thought it was going to be so fun, but instead they brought me in like a villain, and no one sees me as anything else. Lottie never lets up. As if I don’t already feel bad about taking Rahim from Lili.”

He slid the bucket on the coffee table and pulled out the bottle. It wasn’t corked so he poured some into a glass and passed it to her. “I don’t really mind that you did that.”

She gave a soft laugh and took the drink. “I know. And I’m pretty sure Lili doesn’t mind either. But I’ve been feeling so stuck with Rahim. I can’t get close to him, and if I dump him, it means I took him for nothing.”

“I didn’t realize you felt like that.”

“I do like him, but it’s hard to get past the comics and golf talk. I feel like I don’t know anything about him and I just...I’m not the type to work this hard for a boy, you know?” She guzzled the wine and held out the glass for more. He refilled it and she drank it one gulp. “I feel like I’m back in secondary school. All I wanted was for the girls to like me and boys to want to be with me. But I didn’t look like this back then. I was…” she pulled a face. “No matter what I did, no one _ saw _ me. Even now, it’s like they still don’t. What else can I do? I might as well be the villain.” She slid closer to him, so their legs were touching. “I hate myself for being like this. I put on this show of being confident Priya, but that’s not who I am. But it’s like, if I’m not the bombshell, then what am I?” 

He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m similar. That’s why I joke around so much. It’s another way to be seen.”

“I try jokes, but they always fall flat.” She gestured to her sizable breasts. “That’s why I got these. And these.” She pointed to her full, pouty lips. 

“Because of how you feel about yourself? 

She nodded. “Do you ever wonder what would have happened if I’d have chosen you?” Her gaze dropped to his lips and sirens wailed in his head. He tried to slide further away but he was already on the end of the bench. 

“I… uh no I don—” 

Priya suddenly shifted away from him, putting cool space between their bodies. “Hey Lili.”

Oh fek. He swung around to find her standing there, looking absolutely stunning in a silver top and mini skirt that shone in the moonlight. Gold tattoos glowed on her cheeks and forehead. Her curls were loose and brushing her shoulders, her expression tight. He resented that judgmental look. How many times had he suffered through Lucas practically climbing into her lap? Beside him, Priya seemed to have shrunk as she stared into her wine glass.

“Mind if I join you?” Lili’s voice still held that flat, awful quality and he hated it and he hated how Priya seemed to shrink even further at it. Sympathy and resentment intertwined within him. Priya was a fuck up. Like he was. And neither of them needed a lecture about it right then. 

“Priya already feels bad, Lil.”

She studied him for a moment, as if she was seeing him for the first time. “I assumed as much. That’s why I came up here to make sure she was okay. I was worried.”

He felt a smidge of relief at her words. Maybe she was just exhausted and that’s why she wasn’t showing much emotion. If she thought Priya was putting moves on him, she didn’t say anything or seem angry about it. Just...empty.

“Good. Me too. She’s just feeling like a lot of people are upset with her.”

Lili walked over and stood, looking at them both. He couldn’t read her expression and it made him anxious. She seemed to be debating whether or not to sit. “I’m intruding,” she said softly. “I’ll leave you be.”

“No wait!” Priya said. “You can join us.” 

He scooted closer to Priya and patted the seat beside him. She hesitated, but perched delicately on the edge of the bench, leaving a foot of space between them. He wanted to protect Priya but he also wanted to bridge that distance between himself and Lili, but he didn’t know how to do both. 

Priya patted at her eyes with the squashed mascara-smeared tissue in her hand. “Thank you for not telling Hope, Lili.” Her hands trembled. “Turned out Noah told her everything anyway.” 

Lili reached over and picked up one of the flowers, staring at it. “What happened when you talked to Noah?” 

“I told him I fancied him. He seemed nervous. I—I took it as a sign and went for a kiss.” 

Lili closed her eyes for a moment and sighed. “Oh, Priya.”

“I know! He totally dodged it. It was so awkward.” 

“Oof. Poor you.” He’d been on the receiving end of the awkward dodge a few times in his youth. It made shaky self-esteem even worse. 

“Anyway, he told Hope immediately.” 

“_ Nope _—er Hope and Noah were pretty upset,” he said. “They talked to me and I came clean about everything and what I said about them. I didn’t want Priya to take all the blame.” He turned to Lili, “Which means Hope knows you weren’t involved.” 

Her gaze was locked on the flower. “I’m not sure that’s going to matter to her much but thank you.” 

Priya sighed. “They were arguing all day anyway, and now conveniently, they can blame us for it.” 

“I didn’t tell anyone about _ Operation: Nope _, but I did talk to Hope earlier and told her to keep fighting for her relationship. And when I talked to Noah, I told him the same. I honestly have no idea if they’re gonna last or if they’ll implode, but—” Lili tossed the flower on the table. “But they both seem to want what they have, even if it’s shaky right now.” 

“Damage done.” He rubbed his hands on his pant legs. “All we can do is focus on our couples and try to have fun at the party.” 

“Maybe...” Priya sighed. “Maybe I should work on getting closer with Rahim. If he can get over how I’ve behaved, that is.” 

“Rahim’s a good guy,” he said. “We’ll talk to him together.” 

A small smile lifted Priya’s troubled expression. “Thanks. You really are the best.” Her smile fell and her drink trembled in her hand. “Sorry guys, I...” She went quiet for a moment, shutting her eyes. “I've made a really bad mistake, haven’t I?” She sat her glass down. “We’re all in this villa together and now, whatever happens, this Noah and Hope situation is going to be following me around.” Drawing in a long breath, she released it slowly. “I’ve been struggling all day, to be honest, and I just felt kind of overwhelmed...” she trailed off weakly. 

Lili’s eyes softened. “Would you like to talk about it? I’m happy to listen. No judgement.” Really? He found his agitation rising. When he’d tried to talk to her earlier, she’d walked away. Where was all her tender concern then?

Priya cocked her head for a moment. “No, not right now. But I appreciate the offer, I really do. You’ve been nothing but kind to me, even when I didn’t deserve it.” 

“You deserve kindness, Priya. You’re not an ogre, and I’m not here to chase you down with a pitchfork and torch. You’re just a person making choices. Some good, some not so good. Like all of us.” She smiled. “If you want to talk later, I’ll be around.” 

Priya sniffled. “I know. Thanks, babes. Right now, I’m gonna go and get a drink of water and fix my makeup.” 

He frowned. She seemed off kilter. “Are you sure you’re okay? You seem a little...” 

“I’m okay. Thanks for the talk. Both of you. It really was what I needed.” She stood and looked at Lili. “And thank you for sticking by me through this.” She collected herself, smoothed her hair and headed back inside. 

As the door shut, the silence took on an awkward quality that made him twitchy. “Well it seems our clever plan blew up in our faces.” 

Lili nodded and stood, staring out at the Spanish hills, as if searching for answers. His irritation drained away as he looked at her. There were shadows beneath her eyes that hadn’t been there before, and he could tell she’d been crying. He stood and reached for her hand, threading his fingers through hers. His fingertips brushed the inside of her palm and he waited for her to squeeze his hand back, but she didn’t. 

“It’ll all turn out fine. I think! Anyway, we should get down there.” He gave her the cheeky smile that usually won her over. “Or we could stay up here and snog all night, if you’d prefer.” He brushed his mouth against hers, needing her to kiss him back. To tell him that they were alright. But she pulled away and tugged her hand from his. Bobby’s stomach dropped at the removal of her touch. 

“No. I’d like to be alone. I’ll be down in a bit.”

He swallowed. “I...Lil, I feel like we need to talk, you’re—”

She shook her head. “I’ll see you downstairs.” 

He waited a few beats, hoping she’d say something more. But her silence pushed him out the door. “Okay. I guess I’ll…” He walked away feeling worse with every step. Lili had a right to be annoyed with him. _ Operation: Nope _ was a stupid idea. But she was treating him like...he didn’t know. Like he’d broken her heart. Despite the chill of the evening, he was suddenly hot and shaking. The vast open floor plan of the villa felt as tight as a closet and he found himself racing outside, taking deep breaths of cool air. This wasn’t her. And it wasn’t him. He’d fixed things with Hope and Noah. Everything should be fine, but she was upstairs alone and upset for no good reason, and he was downstairs, his head buzzing as if it was full of bees.

He leaned his hand against the wall and breathed slowly, until the feeling eased. There was nothing he could do right now but put on a smile and hope that Lili would be willing to talk later. 

It was always easy to slip into the role of the clown. He wore it like clothing. So that’s what he did. Painted on a smile and crossed the garden. It was fully decked out for the party. Neon lights, pink bottles of champagne, fairy lights and luminous globes hung everywhere, bathing the yard in twinkling gold. DJ Big T spun ‘Obsessed’ while all the islanders danced in groups. Hope and Noah were off by themselves, shaking off the drama with some spirited maneuvers. Noah really could dance. Everyone else was scattered around the garden pulling out their best moves. Priya stood by herself, looking lost. He shimmied over to her, grinning, and grabbed the bottle of wine off the table beside her.

Her shoulders relaxed when she saw him. “Hey. Where’s Lili?” 

He shrugged, forcing his smile to stay in place. “Said she wanted to be alone.”

“Did you fight or something?”

Dammit. His smile slipped. He could feel it sliding away and he couldn’t stop it. “No. I have no idea what’s going on. We had such a great time last night and this morning was...” He scrubbed at his face, unable to find words to describe how it felt to wake up beside her, his naked body pressed against hers, his fingers stroking the lines of her tattoos. Her wide smile. The shine in her eyes. The safety of her arms. He longed to be back in that quiet room, buried in Lili’s light. What if he was never back in her arms? He shoved down his rising panic and caught his smile before it hit the ground, slapping it back into place. He chugged straight out of the bottle and slammed it on the table. “It’s fine. It’s all fine. Let’s dance!” 

Song after song, he drank and did silly moves, hoping to cheer Priya up, and it worked. Too bad he couldn’t do the same for himself. The more he made her laugh, the worse he felt. He didn’t want to be amusing Priya. Dancing with Priya. He wanted it to be Lili. He wanted her musical laugh and her soft gaze. 

Suddenly out of breath, he stopped dancing. His chest ached and he felt bruised all over. He looked around at all the other islanders and spotted the shimmer of Lili’s silver dress catching the fairy lights. He swallowed. She hadn’t come to find him. Instead she was dancing with Lottie, their hips swaying sensuously to the heavy synth beat. 

He glanced at Priya. “I have to—”

She nodded. “I know. Go talk to her.” Her smile was tight and sad, and he hesitated.

“It can wait. I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“Don’t worry about me. When you go over there, would you ask Rahim if he’d come talk to me?”

“Course.” He made his way around sweaty bodies and patted Rahim’s shoulder. “Priya was wondering if you’d like to talk to her.”

Rahim sighed and nodded. “I suppose. Is she alright?”

“I don’t think so. She seems a bit of a mess.”

His face softened and he ran his hands over his rows. “I’ll go talk to her now.” He slipped away across the lawn. 

Lottie turned to dance with Gary, leaving Lili just outside of the circle, dancing by herself, hands in her curls, eyes closed, lost in the music. 

Bouncing to the beat as best he could, he made his way over and tapped her shoulder. She opened her eyes and her expression froze. She blinked at him. 

“Hey you,” he said. 

“Hey.” 

He kept bouncing on his feet. “I don’t know how much longer I can go without kissing you,” he said, hoping she’d play along with their little game, or at least smile. She did neither. Instead her eyes narrowed, but she kept on dancing. He tried again. “Tonight’s been interesting.”

Her undulations stopped and she glared at him. “Yeah, that’s the word I’d use. It’s so _ interesting _when I lose friends so you and Priya can play games with people’s relationships.” 

“But I told Hope and Noah—" 

“I appreciate that. But what I would have appreciated more was you not dragging me into it in the first place.” Her voice was sharp as a knife. “I feel like I'm losing myself. The person I strive to be wouldn’t have kept that a secret, knowing it was going to hurt someone else. She wouldn’t have been so worried about making _ you _ happy that she compromised her values. And she wouldn’t have...” she looked down. “She wouldn’t have gotten herself so invested in someone who thought that none of this meant anything.” She turned and stalked across the garden. Helplessly, he followed after her. 

“Lil, stop. What are you talking about? This means something to me. It means...” It meant everything but he couldn’t say the words. “You make me so happy.” 

She spun and looked at him. “But maybe you’re missing out on someone who’d be better for you.” Her eyes lit with anger. “Someone more like your precious Priya.” 

“I don’t want Priya, I want you.” 

“Right. If I hadn’t come up there you two would have been snogging. With your wine and flowers and—” she shook her head. “She wants you. Always has.”

“The wine and flowers were for you.” Shards of icy anger filled him. “Do you really want to go there? Because Lucas is _ all _over you. You could practically wear him like a jumper and it’s starting to seem like you like it. You were awfully cozy in the kitchen today.” He regretted saying the words as soon as they left his mouth. 

Lili stiffened. “I have told Lucas over and over that I don’t want him. And I’ve told you too.” She tossed her curls back. “Do you know how awful it feels to have someone tell you that they have feelings for you, when you don’t share them, and you’ve already told them that? It was _ unfair _ of him to put that on me. It made me feel responsible, like I was doing something to encourage it, when I know I wasn’t. I have spent the last few days struggling with it. It eats me up to think that I might be hurting someone. And now you want to make me feel even worse? No. Fuck you, Bobby.” She pointed a finger at his chest. “Today showed me that you care a whole lot more about Priya’s feelings than you do mine. So you two can have each other.”

“Now who’s being unfair? Don’t act like I’ve been ignoring you. I tried to talk to you about this. Twice. You shut me down both times! Lili, I want this. I want you. Not Priya. I swear I wasn’t going to snog her.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said. “This place messes with your head. Your sense of time, the way you view intimacy and it makes things feel more intense than they should. Maybe we should take a step back.” 

“What does that mean?” His stomach tightened and a bitter taste flooded his mouth. The wine he’d drunk sloshed like poison inside him. 

“I don’t know what it means.” 

He stepped closer to her. “I don’t get this. You told Priya that you’re her friend and want to be there for her, but you’re mad at me? I didn’t snog her, and I’m also not the one who tried to snog Noah.” 

“I’m not mad at Priya because she is who she is. You either accept her or you don’t, and I accept her. It’s not my place to try and change her. And more importantly, she’s not my _ partner _. She’s not the one who made lo—” her steely voice broke. “Who slept with me and said all those sweet little lies.”

The music was still playing, but he was aware of the curious glances bouncing off them. Lili seemed to notice it too. She turned and rounded the last cocktail table, hidden behind the trees of the garden. 

He followed and reached out, grabbing her hand, pulling her to a stop. “They weren’t lies,” he said softly.

Her expression hardened and she pulled her hand away. “I don’t understand why you made me feel this way when none of it mattered to you. I’m such an idiot. I don’t even know who you are. I thought I did, but I don’t.”

Breathless panic added itself to the slosh of volatile emotions in his gut. Just this morning he’d been on the verge of saying words he’d never said before. Because she saw him. She reached inside and peeled back all the layers of scar tissue until she had his heart in her hand. And now she was throwing it away. Throwing_ him _ away.

“Goddammit, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know where all this is coming from. You matter to me, more than any girl I’ve ever been with. So just fucking say why you’re mad so I can fix it!”

“More lies.” 

“I’m. Not. Lying.” He forced his jaw to unclench. 

“Then tell me why you did this. What was all this _ Operation: Nope _shit really about?”

“Because Hope—Noah—Lucas, fuck, I don’t know! I don’t know!” He threw his arms out at his sides, his emotions spilling over, words gushing with them. “I fucked up. I’m a fuck up. Is that what you want to hear, Saint Lili? You’re always so fucking self-righteous. You’ve never made a stupid mistake?”

She slapped the wine bucket off the table. It went flying and he dodged out of the way as it bounced to the ground, ice flying everywhere, the bottle rolling off into the bushes. “I never said I was a fucking saint,” she seethed. “That’s a label _ you _ put on me, Bobby. Angel. Perfect. Saint.” She picked up the plastic wine glasses and chucked them to the ground as well. She sent the little neon heart decoration flying into the pool. He stared at her in shock. “You’re gorgeous and funny and you get away with a lot because of it,” she said, her voice shaking. “I owe it to the both of us to let you know that I’m not the girl to put up with the way you treated me today. If you really want this, you had better get your head out of your ass and figure out why the hell you’ve acted the way you have. Because otherwise, I’m done.”

The earth dropped out from underneath him. Hadn’t he known? He was the cupcake. Delicious and gone. “Anancy rope tie anancy,” he whispered. 

“What?” Lili looked at him like he was crazy, but he couldn’t respond. He was falling into an endless void of pain. The air rushed so hard in his ears that he almost didn’t notice the music quieting. 

From the other side of the yard, the gate slammed, and clacking footsteps tripped up the garden path. “Someone’s coming,” Marisol said. 

“Oh no,” Lottie said. “Just what we need. More drama.” 

Lili turned and looked at him. Her gaze was glassy and lost and tired and he was sure he looked the same. She wiped fingers beneath her eyes and put on a smile. He took a breath and painted his smile back on as well. 

The new islanders had arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NopeNopeNope! Thanks for your patience. I'm writing faster now, whether it's because the global pandemic has made me aware that I might very well die before I finish this fic (I'm immune-suppressed) or because I have more down time now that my day job has slowed to a crawl or because I know Casa Amor is getting closer and I'm SO ready to fuck up everyone's world. Either way, MORE STORY FOR Y'ALL! 
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you for reading. And commenting. And messaging me on Twitter. You have no idea how much it means to me to hear from you. Your comments have made me laugh and cry and have made me remember why I love writing. And why I should probably keep doing it. You give me life 💓 If you like what I do, keep leaving me me kudos, comments, tweets, or messages @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are always my preferred currencies.
> 
> Thank you to Prim and Jolene for reading this and being my otters, holding my hand when I need it. And thanks for making a Noah ho outta me, because now I can't be stopped. He givin' them looky kinda looks. And thanks to Chichi for being my tireless cheerleader 📣 And Eurydice...You know what you did 💖


	32. It’s Hard Letting Go of the Afterglow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things remain absolutely fucked. Enjoy!
> 
> Oh and just for funsies, try to find the not-that-subtle references to Macbeth, Buffy, and Taylor Swift.

The villa was in total chaos and Bobby could hardly bring himself to care. 

The new islander, Chelsea had sauntered in, giggled like an absolute dafty and then dropped a drama bomb about Gary and Lottie. So of course Lottie had a melt-down and Priya started a fight. Same old villa. 

The other new Islander, a snub-nosed behemoth named Jakub had eye-fucked Priya, Lili, and Hope before announcing that he was there to party and dragged most everyone who wasn’t in the midst of the drama to the pool. Bobby had gone along, changing into shorts and leaping in the water, eager to escape the pain of Lili’s anger. And his own. 

Hope was squealing with laughter as Jakub picked her up out of the water and spun her around like a top. Everyone who wasn’t arguing on the lawn, or who hadn’t recently watched Lili throw a wine bucket, was having a good time. 

Bobby crossed his arms over the edge of the pool and rested his head on them. He was horrified by his behavior. Never in his life had he fought with a girl he’d been seeing. He’d never raised his voice or swore like that at her. He’d never said something nasty. And he’d certainly never made someone mad enough to throw things. Growing up with his mum, he hated that kind of overblown reaction. When girls were frustrated with him, he soothed them, he joked, he charmed them until they relaxed. He didn’t get emotionally involved enough to get mad back. 

The worst part was that he was  _ still  _ mad. She wasn’t being fair, and she kept going on about how he’d lied to her and it didn’t make any sense. And then she threw things. His chill girl. His easy-going, peace-making girl had thrown things. He didn’t even know how to deal with that, and the wealth of emotions it brought up. Anger, hurt, and a touch of desire. If they’d been alone, maybe they could have simply torn off each other’s clothes and worked out their anger like people did in the movies. Fucking until they stopped being mad sounded pretty good. Better than him being miserable in the pool, while she was miserable across the lawn.

Maybe the villa was making them both crazy. 

He climbed out of the pool and dried off before crossing the lawn. He didn’t know how to fix things, but he knew he couldn’t do it from a distance. 

Lucas, Rahim, and Gary were hovering near the new girl, eyeing the bubbly blonde with naked curiosity as he approached. Lottie was storming off. For the second time. 

Marisol shook her head. “I was hoping I could steal you away, Lili, and give these guys a chance to talk to Chelsea.” She turned and her gaze landed on him. “Oh! You too, Bobby.”

“You want me to talk to Chelsea too?” Neither of them changed expressions at his terrible joke. He coughed and gestured away from the garden. “Uh, lead the way.”

Lili walked stiffly beside him as they made their way to the kitchen. “This party is a total disaster,” Marisol said, perching herself on one of the bar stools. Lili sighed and planted her elbows on the counter. Leaning over, her soft cleavage spilled from her top, and the purple mark on her chest, as vivid as it was earlier, distracted him from his confused feelings. She raised a brow at his wandering eyes and his face burned. 

Eager to combat his churning energy, he switched on the milk steamer and set about making three hot chocolates. “Yeah, when I think ‘party’ I think of smiling, dancing, and maybe Noah twerking on the daybeds. That sort of thing. Which wasn’t far off what was happening at the pool, to be fair. But all that arguing? I wasn’t loving that.” He caught Lili’s eye as he said it. She gave a tiny snort.

“All the drama was bound to happen,” Lili said. “New islanders always have something spicy to say. The fact that it was about Lottie just took it from a mild jalfrezi to a full-blown vindaloo.” They stared at her silently and she flushed. “I’ve got the worst craving for Indian food,” she said. “Anyway it’s not like things were stable before this.” 

“That’s the thing though, isn’t it?” Marisol ran her sharp nails over the smooth surface of the counter. “It’s getting to be a bit much. We’re jumping from one feud to the next, and now there are two going on at the same time. Maybe it’s time the sensible people tried to sort it out, you know? What do you think?” 

Bobby stopped chopping the chocolate chips. “No one has ever accused me of being sensible. I’m quite offended.” Marisol rolled her eyes and he smiled. “I’m kidding. I’m capable of being extremely serious. When it suits me.” Lili’s lips pinched and he realized that was precisely the wrong thing to joke about. 

“I asked you because underneath the jokes I know you really do care about people and you want the best for everyone.” Marisol shook her long golden-brown hair. “Same goes for you Lili.” 

“I do care,” Lili said. “But honestly I’m tired of sorting everyone out. I’m just...tired.” She stared at the counter, and despite his anger Bobby’s whole body ached to hug her. 

And maybe he could. The villa was making everyone nutty, but he and Lili were both reasonable people. Lowering the stress level for everyone could help them get back on track. And more importantly, they could work as a team and then she’d remember how good they could be together. 

“This is short term pain for long term comfort,” Marisol said. “The quicker we sort everyone, the quicker we go back to laughs and unlimited coffee.” 

“That’s a very specific figure of speech,” Bobby said. “But I don’t drink coffee.” 

Marisol rolled her eyes. “Anyway, there are two different things going on right now. Whatever that was between Lottie, Chelsea and Priya, and this Noah business between Hope and Priya. I think the  _ Nope _ stuff is on the backburner. Unless any obvious opportunities arise, we tackle stuff with Lottie first, agreed? That’s our strategic priority.” 

“Yes sir,” Bobby said, giving her a salute. Yes. This could work. 

“Lili, will you try and get Lottie and Chelsea talking? And Priya and Lottie too. That would be great.” 

Lili’s brow furrowed. “Why does this sound like I’m doing all the work?” 

“You’re not. I’ll try and talk to Priya and Hope separately, and Bobby can talk to Lottie, too, and maybe Noah. Assuming that sounds good to you, Bobby.” 

“Not sure I trust Lottie in enclosed spaces, but sure, that sounds good to me. Though Noah...he’s not happy with me right now…”

Lili’s mouth tightened. “I’ll talk to him.”

The bitter taste of shame flooded his mouth and he resented it. “No. I’ll do it,” he said, his tone a little sharp. “We need to work it out anyhow.” Lili shrugged and stared at the counter.

“With a joint effort, we should be able to get everyone back on the same page,” Marisol said. She glanced between them. “You two are okay, right?”

“We're fine," Lili said with a tight smile. 

He nodded and started the frother, drowning out his inability to answer the question. 

Once the hot chocolate was frothy, he poured three mugs, topping them with cream, marshmallows, and sprinkles. “Voila! Chocolat chaud a la Bobby.” 

“Oh,” Marisol said, wrinkling her nose. “I’m…not actually a fan of hot chocolate.” 

Lili gasped and dramatically pulled her mug close, as if she feared Marisol might chuck it into the bin. She looked at Bobby with giant horrified eyes and he couldn’t help but to chuckle.

“Now you tell me! Who doesn’t like hot chocolate?! You gonna cancel my birthday, too?” He winked at Marisol and slid into a seat at the bar beside Lili, and took a sip of hot chocolate, intentionally burying his lip in the whipped cream. 

Lili laughed. She laughed. And the sound was beautiful. She reached over and wiped his upper lip with her thumb, before the smile faded and she frowned as though she’d just remembered that she was angry with him.

Well if he could make her forget her anger once, he could do it again. And maybe he could forget his own.

“Ahem, back to business,” Marisol said. “Are you both in?” 

Lili made a grumbling sound in the back of her throat and didn’t answer. He leaned closer and stroked her jaw. “A little energy now to keep the peace long term, lass,” he said. He looked into her eyes and there was so much storming in them. He wished he understood why.

She jerked away from his touch. Her light was so dim, her aura so cold, he could see little flakes of snow in it. “Fine,” she said. “I’ll do it. We could all use some peace.”

He swallowed and gripped his mug, pulling a broad smile he didn’t feel. “What a foot.”

Lili’s brows drew together. “Foot?” 

“You know, a foot. A leg end? A legend…” Marisol rolled her eyes and Lili did too. That hurt more than the ice storm in her gaze. “Tough crowd,” he muttered.

“You in or not, Bobby?” Marisol asked.

“Like a toad in a hole.”

“Perfect. Let’s head back inside.”

Bobby looked at Marisol’s untouched hot chocolate and motioned toward it, feeling tired. “Lili, take this with you and see if anybody needs it. Someone who _ appreciates _ my beautiful creations.” He gave Marisol a side eye and she nudged him playfully. 

Lili took both mugs and wandered off without another word. He watched her go and Marisol frowned. “Are you sure you two are alright, things seem...off.”

“We’re great,” he said, pushing energy into the words. “It’s just been a long day.” He turned and started cleaning the kitchen. Marisol, clearly not wanting to get roped into helping, disappeared after Lili. 

He scrubbed things much harder than he needed to, trying to work through his unfamiliar outrage. His bone deep ache. It didn’t work. So he hung up the towels and headed inside. 

Just outside the doorway, Noah was leaning his shoulder against the wall, a concerned look on his face. His muscled arm shot out in front of Bobby and he placed a big hand on his chest. “Don’t go in there yet,” he whispered. 

“What’s going on?” 

Noah jerked his head toward the sitting area. Hope was sitting on the couch in her tiger print pajamas, glaring at Lili, who stood well away from her, both mugs of hot chocolate in her hands, her forehead pinched.

“I—I brought you some hot chocolate.” 

Hope snorted, clearly uninterested in Lili’s peace offering. “That’s all you have to say?”

“No, that’s not all,” she said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“Are you?” Hope huffed an angry breath. “Do you really think a meek little apology and some hot chocolate makes up for everything?”

“No. No I don’t. I just wanted…” Lili’s voice trailed off. She looked down at the floor and then turned and sat one of the mugs on the end table. “Here. Bobby...um, he made it for you.”

Hope stared at it. “I confided in you. Told you things I haven't told anyone. And when we were upstairs I told you how much Noah meant to me and how scared—" her voice cracked, and Bobby's guilt twisted him until he thought he could hear his bones snap. Beneath all of her bluster, Hope really felt something for Noah. "How scared I was. And you didn't say a word about what Priya was planning. You looked me right in the face and said nothing. How can I ever trust you again?”

“I..." Lili tried to sit the other mug down, but her hand trembled and hot chocolate splashed out and drizzled down the sides and onto the table. "I…I guess you can't.” 

Hope grabbed a tissue and tossed it at her. Lili grabbed it and wiped up the mess. Wadding it up, she scrubbed it over her hands, roughly rubbing at the spots of chocolate that spattered them. “I’m so sorry, Hope. I won’t make excuses. I should have told you.”

“Yes, you should have. This is...” Hope’s shoulders slumped. “I don’t know where we go from here. I can’t be friends with someone I can’t trust.”

Lili flinched. The tiny motion constricted Bobby’s heart. “I know.” She swallowed and gestured to both mugs of hot chocolate. “Um, Bobby did make those with love. You—you and Noah should have them.” Her voice was so small and trembling. If his heart was constricted before, now it was in a tight fist, slowly being crushed. Lili’s anger, so big and unjustified, seemed a lot more reasonable. Hope really wasn’t going to forgive her the way she had him. Maybe because she expected more from Lili than she did him. 

Lili headed for the stairs. Hope took a step toward her and stopped, shaking her head. She stood there for a moment, until Lili disappeared, and then grabbed the mugs and carried them to the bedroom. 

“This is a mess.” Noah sighed. “It was too much to expect Hope to be mature about it. She has every right to be hurt, but to call off a friendship is ridiculous. It’s not as if Lili intended to hurt her. She was just stuck in a bad position. I told her to try to let it go but that just made her angrier. I really care about her, but she’s exhausting sometimes.”

“I’m truly sorry,” Bobby said. “I never—I didn’t think it would…”

“I know you feel bad. And while I don’t like how you and Priya went about it, maybe Hope and I really aren’t as compatible as we first seemed...I guess I’ve got a lot of thinking to do.” He shook off his troubled expression. “How are you and Lili doing?”

“Other than going down in flames, we’re doing great.” He rubbed the back of his neck and gave a half-hearted laugh. “Why? Making plans to steal my girl?”

Noah smiled enigmatically, and unease skittered over Bobby’s skin. “I’m going to the pool. I’ll see you inside.”

“Uh, you could probably answer that question,” he called out to Noah’s retreating form. But he didn’t look back as he crossed the yard. 

Fuck. That’s just what he needed to worry about. 

Blowing out a breath, he headed for the bedroom. Everyone was settling in for the night and it was all so...normal. Or as normal as the villa got. The new girl was chattering to Priya as she shoved clothing haphazardly into her cubby. Lottie was across the room, curled up against Gary, talking about horoscopes. Marisol and Lucas were on opposite sides of the bed, ignoring one another, and the new guy sat on his bed carefully folding his socks and underwear into perfect tiny squares, frowning at them, and then refolding. 

They were all carrying on with life like the whole world hadn’t imploded. And he supposed that for them, it hadn’t. This was just momentary drama for everyone whose world didn’t reside in Lili’s smile.

He changed into his pyjamas beneath the covers, watching the stairs anxiously for Lili to appear. After a long while, when the lights were nearly out, she came down. She was back in her #CherryGate pyjamas—the clean wash must have come back—but she didn’t come to bed, or even look his way. She just turned and padded out the door.

Pain dug low in his chest. He waited. And waited. Hoping she’d come in. But the lights went out. Someone started snoring like a wildebeest. And Noah tiptoed in, his head haloed by the dim outside light for a moment before he was swallowed by the darkness as he headed for his bed. 

None of this was right. Lili was avoiding him, and he still didn’t know why. There was something he was missing, and he couldn’t keep lying in bed wondering what it was, while his heart cracked like ice dropped into hot tea. He threw back the covers. If she was sleeping outside, he was too. 

He followed the endless drone of the cicadas outside, and found her on the daybed, knees folded up to her chest, staring at the pool. The wind picked up her hair and she shivered. 

Dammit. He was still mad. Still confused and hurt and guilty. But none of that ebbed his desire to pull her into his arms and keep her warm. 

Heat pounding, he approached slowly, as if she were a wild wounded animal. She didn’t move or look his way as he sat beside her. “I’m so sorry, Lil,” he said softly.

She still didn’t turn her head. “Sorry for what?” Her lilting voice had that rasp it always got when she’d been crying. He forced himself not to reach for her, knowing she wouldn’t welcome it.

He still wasn’t fully sure what he was apologizing for. But he tried to wing it. “For  _ Operation: Nope _ . For putting you in a terrible position that damaged your friendship with Hope. For making you feel like I cared about Priya more than you. For raising my voice at you and saying what I said. I—I don’t have any excuse for any of it.” 

She whipped her head toward him. The hurt and anger in her eyes struck him like twin bolts of lightning. “Do. Better. Than. That.” 

He opened his mouth but nothing more came out. What could he say?

She held up a hand. “You know what, never mind. Don’t bother. It was foolish of me to think that this was more than just play-acting for the cameras.”

“It  _ is _ more than that.” 

“No it’s not. You said it yourself. It’s far too early for anyone to be serious about each other. Or to have deep feelings. You'd be worried if one of your mates fell hard for someone so quickly.” Her jaw tightened. “Maybe we’d both be happier with someone else and we just don’t know it yet.” 

Oh. The ground went out from beneath him and he tumbled into the void. In his usual way, he’d used words like a spray of bullets, without any thought about where they might have landed. And they’d hit Lili right where she was most tender. He had told her he didn’t believe in what they had. 

“Lil…”

“You used me.” Her voice trembled. “I can’t believe I—I thought that I meant something to you. Now I feel dirty. You didn’t mean any of the things you said.” A tear trekked down her cheek.

Never in any of his racing thoughts had it occurred to him that he’d made her feel used. That he’d turned every meaningful word into lies for her. Nausea twisted his stomach. Panic tightened his chest. Fuck. He had to make it right. He had to make her understand. 

“Lass, I’m so so so sorry.” He grabbed her hand and pressed kisses to her knuckles. “I messed up. When you…when we…it meant a lot to me. So much. I’m not great at talking about feelings. But I never meant to make you feel that way.” The ache behind his eyes alarmed him, but he couldn’t stop to examine it. He had to fix things. “I wasn’t thinking when I said that stuff. I was angry. I was talking about them. I don’t think that way about us. I’ve never felt like this before. That’s the truth. You’re the most amazing, smart, kind-hearted, gorgeous girl I’ve ever met. I don’t deserve you. I don’t. And I feel like any second you’re gonna see that and dump me and it scares me. Because it wasn’t just…it wasn’t just sex for me. It was beautiful and overwhelming and—” 

She pressed her palm to his mouth. “Bobby. Stop.” He nodded, searching her wide eyes. Her face softened and she slid her hand to his cheek. He leaned into her touch, desperate for her grace. But she pulled away, her tender expression hardening.” I understand that feelings are hard for you. They’re hard for me too. But that doesn’t change anything. You can be sorry all you want. It doesn’t change the way you treated me today. Or the way you made me feel.” 

He trembled in the cold of her dim light. “Please,” he whispered. “Please don’t.” He wasn’t sure what he was even pleading for. They weren’t really dating. They were just two people smashed together by a silly show that wasn’t supposed to matter. Except that it did. It mattered more than anything ever had. 

“What were you angry about?” she asked quietly. 

“What?” 

“You said you weren’t thinking when you said that stuff. That you were angry. Why?”

He looked down at the bedding. “I heard Hope and Lucas talking about things. About you.”

“Talking about me?” She pulled a face. “What’d they say?”

“Lucas thought you were going to pick him at the recoupling. That you gave him signs. He said he was the right choice for you and that you were only with me because you want to win and you don’t want to look bad to the public by dumping me because the audience likes me.”

She huffed an infuriated breath. “I never fucking said that. Or hinted at it. I told him plainly that I wasn’t interested because he wasn’t my type and even if he were, I was happy with you.”

_ Was.  _ The word burned like dry ice. “Hope agreed that he’d be better for you.”

“She would say that. So, you were mad at them?” She raised a skeptical eyebrow. “I don’t understand how this translates to  _ Operation: Nope. _ ”

“I don’t—” he rubbed at his face. “They talked about how they knew each other before the show and Lucas started asking her about Noah and she wasn’t...The way she talked, it sounded like she was using Noah. And then they kissed. Or he kissed her. I don’t know. All I could think was that she had been faking all her talk about loyalty. Like she was only pretending to care and it just...it made me mad at her.” He stared down at the bed.

“No. Look at me.” He forced himself to lift his head and got trapped in the storm inside her eyes. “Be honest. With me and with yourself. This whole day.  _ Operation: Nope _ . Priya. All of it. Were you really mad at Hope...or were you mad at me?”

He took a shuddering breath. He wanted to say no, but the truth, truth he hadn’t even admitted to himself, surged forward like a tide he couldn’t stop. “Both. I was mad at you. I thought you were playing me, like Hope was playing Noah.”

“You didn’t trust me.” She looked back toward the pool. “Thank you for being honest at least.”

His tenuous hold on his emotions slipped, and he grabbed her hand. “What I said in the Hideaway, I meant it. Even what I didn’t say. I meant it all. I’m scared of this. I’m scared of having it. Of losing it.” The words were frightening but not as frightening as the distance between them. He bridged that space, leaning close and cupping her jaw. “I’m sorry. So sorry.” 

She sighed and pressed her forehead to his. The relief of that small gesture was like rain on his parched heart. Unable to stop himself, he kissed her gently. She melted into him like warm sugar, and he pulled her closer, needing that sweetness. But she stiffened and pulled away. 

“I can’t.” She took a deep breath. “I need some time to sort this out. You make my head all…you make it hard for me to think straight. I can’t let you charm your way out of this.” 

He stroked his thumb over her cheek with a shaking hand. He would do whatever she wanted, but distance wasn’t the answer. He’d seen too much of that growing up. The fights always ended with the brutal pain of silence on the other side of a locked door. And someone on the outside, begging to be let in.

“Or you could,” he said. 

Her eyes narrowed. “What?” 

“No. No. Not like that.” He reached down and gripped her hands tight. “You have every right to be mad at me, but we could just…not. Not fight. Not be mad tonight. You could let me cuddle you to sleep and kiss your forehead and we can sort everything else out tomorrow.” 

Her stormy eyes softened. “I don’t know...” 

“You’re hurting. And that’s my fault. I fucked up and I can’t change it. There’s no way to make it right tonight. But I—It’s just...I’ve never felt so much for anyone like I do for you. It’s mad. And the thought of not sleeping beside you? I hate it. More than I hate savory cupcakes.” She laughed softly, and he stroked his fingers over hers. “What I mean is, if you don’t want a cuddle, I’ll stay on the other side of the bed. I won’t touch you. But I can’t sleep without you, Lil. I just...can’t.” He blew out a shaky breath. 

For a few agonizing seconds he thought she might send him away. But her shoulders slumped, and she squeezed his hands. “This sets a bad precedent. But I don’t want to sleep without you either.” 

Relief, bright as a meteor shower, crashed through him. He pulled the covers back, so she could slide in, and he joined her. They turned onto their sides and looked at each other for a long moment. 

“All is not forgiven,” she said. 

“I know.” He stroked her curls. “I can put some pillows between us if you want.”

“No. I—I don’t want that. Not tonight.” She pushed nearer and he pulled her into his arms.  _ Not tonight. _ He couldn’t linger on what that meant. She curled against him, pressing her face to his chest and sighed. He held her close and savored the lingering scent of her shea butter moisturizer. The softness of her hair. The shifting sounds of her breathing as she fell asleep. 

He kissed the top of her head and drifted into the kind of restless slumber that may have lasted five minutes or five hours, before he awoke with a start. It was still dark out. Lili’s hair was tangled around his fingers, her breath hot and even against his chest. 

He exhaled, trying to slow the earth-quaking of his heart. His dream hadn’t faded into ghostly wisps like dreams usually did. It was still there, sharp and excruciating as a thousand cuts. He’d walked hundreds of miles to the Isle of Skye to touch the sun. But when he got there, it was already setting, slipping away into the horizon. He raced along the craggy peaks of the Cuillin, stretching his arms as far as he could, desperate to catch the light and hold it. But the world mercilessly revolved beneath his feet, taking the sun with it. Leaving him alone in the cold dark. 

Lili gave a little snore. He pulled her as close as he could, squeezing her tight, but she grumbled in discomfort and he forced himself to relax his hold.

Losing her. He was losing her. And he didn’t know how to keep her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering, I listened to A LOT of Lewis Capaldi while writing this. A Lot. All of it. I actually cried when I wrote parts of last scene. But when I finished, I cackled like a swamp witch, because I'm equal parts soft and cruel. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading my work 💘 And commenting. And sending me messages and Twitter DMs that make me cry rainbows 💧🌈 I have never felt more fulfilled as a writer and I mean that sincerely. 
> 
> If you're new here, I'd love it if you give this story a kudo. And if you wanna yell at me about what I'm doing to Bobby, or if you wanna tell me how great I am, I'll accept either. You can 💌 me here or on Twitter @muggedoff4life. 
> 
> Thank you to Prim and Jolene as always. You two make writing a joy. This 4w5/1 loves your 4/8 and 2/9 asses. 
> 
> Oh and thank you @pannydreadful for your sweet words, @cursulalaazu for truly being a boogie body rockin' kween, and @eurydice_orfeu for being a fucking warrior 💘💘💘


	33. Praying for the Light I See in Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bobby assesses the damage, Hope loses her shit, and Chels gives some kind of (good?) advice. There's also some naughtiness. 
> 
> Sorry this is so late. Migraines and depression, man.

Birds chirped overhead. Morning dew gleamed from the needles of the Aleppo Pines. Pink rays of sunlight unfurled from the horizon, opening like a summer flower. 

It was the kind of morning Bobby would have loved to share with someone. He absently stroked a hand over the bedding beside him. It was as cool and empty as it had been when he’d awoken. 

It hurt. Everything hurt. And the longer he stayed alone in bed, the worse he felt, but he couldn’t bring himself to get up. His exhaustion was more than physical. He was wrung out like a dish towel. All he could do was lay there, thinking about Lili’s resigned voice the night before. Replaying what she said.  _ You can be sorry all you want. It doesn’t change the way you treated me today.  _

_ All is not forgiven.  _

When he was young, he’d wanted to be a magician. Sadly, he wasn’t particularly good at illusions. He could master the beginnings of tricks, but he could never deliver the big finish. He’d drop the hidden card or forget how to pull the rings apart. And eventually he gave up on it. With Lili, he’d managed to make magic. Real magic. He’d convinced the most spectacular girl in the world to want him. To care for him. To see him as someone special and worthwhile and beautiful in ways he couldn’t see himself. But at the last moment, he’d picked the wrong card, and what had been beautiful and real now felt like another failed illusion. 

Damn his thoughtless words and frightened heart. Why couldn’t he trust what they had—trust her? 

Ugh, he couldn’t stand his own mind. He forced himself to get up and walk around. The remnants of the party hadn’t been cleaned up yet, so the cups and bucket Lili had chucked were still on the ground. The little neon heart still floated in the pool and the bottle of pink champagne was half in the grass, scuffed but otherwise unscathed, despite Lili’s fierce anger. 

Deserved anger. 

Shame filled him. He’d gone on the offensive, just like his mum. Snarling. Swearing. Accusing her of stringing Lucas along. And then he’d called her self-righteous.  _ Saint Lili _ . Jesus fucking Christ. It was so unfair of him. She was one of the most empathetic people he’d ever met. At every turn, she’d dug inside of him, searching for the best parts. And she didn’t just find them. She pulled them from the darkness and held them up to the light so he could see them too. But he hadn’t done the same. Instead he found the most beautiful part of her, her wide-open heart, and he’d twisted it into something ugly. Worse yet, he’d become just another in the long list of people who had done the same. Calling her disingenuous and spitting her trust back at her feet. 

He swallowed the bitter pain of his stupidity, and slowly picked everything up. The bucket. The cups. He got on his belly and used a kitchen spoon to fish the heart out of the pool. He stared at the little neon light. For some reason he didn’t want to put it on the table with all the refuse to be swept away. So, he tiptoed into the bedroom, where the wildebeest snores rivaled the morning symphony of the birds, and no one had yet stirred. He tucked the neon heart away in the back of his cubby. 

After that, he went through the motions of his morning routine. Shower. Shave. Dress. Make a brew. He shambled like a zombie all morning, and never saw Lili once. Which was clearly intentional on her part. 

Avoidance seemed to be the name of the game for everyone though, not just Lili. Lottie avoided Marisol. Chelsea avoided Lottie. Hope and Noah were avoiding each other. And Priya did her best to avoid everyone. 

It was tense and quiet and by the late afternoon Bobby was a walking bruise, battered by everyone’s pain, including his own. He’d tried jokes and pranks, hoping to cheer everyone up, but it didn’t help, and every grim look and failed attempt at humor just sank him deeper into melancholy. Finally, he gave up on trying to fix things and went looking for a distraction. 

Over by the gym Rahim was skipping rope, while Lucas spotted Gary’s deadlifts. Noah seemed to be doing pull-ups with no effort. Jakub was lounging in the yard, in nothing but a wee pair of bawbag-hugging shorts, a single weight held idly at the end of his massive arm. All the girls were sprawled on the grass, listening to him blather about muscle shakes. 

Rahim waved at Bobby. “You lookin’ to work out?” 

“Uh, sure.” It beat moping. Rahim handed him a purple fluorescent jump rope. He started slow, warming up. He was never the most coordinated lad and jumping rope required most of his focus. He was doing side-to-sides when Lili crossed the lawn, the sun surrounding her like a golden halo. He nearly tripped on the rope and had to stop jumping. She slowed to a stop as well. They stared at each other, trading tense, unsure smiles. After a moment, Lili pushed her loose curls behind one ear, gave him a nod, and walked on. His chest ached, as if his heart were trying to beat its way out to follow her. 

“You okay?” Rahim asked. 

“Aye. Braw.” He swallowed and started jumping again, without taking his eyes off Lili. 

She made her way to the girls. Jakub paused in the midst of his TED-Talk on the many uses of protein powder, to ogle Lili’s lush figure. “Damn, you look so good in that outfit, Lili.”

“Thank you,” she said absently. She bent and whispered to Priya and then Lottie. After a moment, they both stood. Priya sighed and gave Jakub a smile, before following Lili and Lottie. 

Rahim encouraged him to do more complicated jumps. He did them slowly, unable to tear himself away from whatever Lili was doing. The conversation on the daybeds seemed heated, with Lili gesturing broadly as she spoke. After a few minutes, Lottie and Priya talked, looking calmer. Then Lottie leaned across the bed and hugged Priya. Wow. They returned to the lawn, but Lili didn’t sit. She started speaking softly to Chelsea. A moment later Lottie rolled her eyes but got up again and followed. This time to the firepit.

“Let’s do squat jumps!” Rahim said.

He found himself being moved into a squat position and the new form took all of his attention so he wouldn’t go arse over tea kettle. When he stopped to take a breather, Lottie and Priya and Chelsea were sitting together, giggling and chatting like besties. Lili sat beside them quietly watching, a smile hovering on her lips. His whole being lit up at her smile, even if he didn’t cause it. He may not have been able to do magic, but his girl was pure made of it.

_ His girl. _ Was she still? That question burned down to his bones.

A phone beeped and Chelsea shot to her feet. “OMG! I finally get to say it!” She cleared her throat. “Guys! I got a text!” 

Thank god. He dropped the rope and wandered over, jelly-legged and happy to never do squat jumps again. Chelsea did a little dance as she waited for everyone to gather. “‘Chelsea and Jakub,’” she read. “‘It’s time for you to choose your first dates. You must each choose two islanders. #letthesinglesmingle.’' She squealed and pursed her lips, looking at each boy in turn. “Let’s see. Hmm. For my first date, I choose…'' She wriggled her fingers and pointed. “Lucas.”

Lucas looked up, startled. Chelsea beamed at him and he gave her a bemused smile and stepped forward. Marisol frowned and crossed her arms. 

“The second person I want to take on a date… she wriggled her fingers in the air again but this time she took more time. Her gaze bounced around the islanders, stopping on Gary before she seemed to think better of it. Her eyes lit up and she wriggled faster. “Bobby!” 

Lottie gasped and grabbed his arm dramatically. He blinked at Chelsea. “Uh, what?” 

The tiny blonde grinned. “Will you be my second first date?”

He caught Lili’s eye. Her expression was unreadable. Never a good sign. “Uh, sure! Sounds fun!” 

“Eee! We have so much to talk about! I can’t wait.” She spun to Jakub. “Your turn, babes.” 

Jakub looked around. “Right. I’ve done a lot of big thinking about this. And the first girl I’d like to take on a date is…Hope.”

The islanders gasped. Hope gave Noah a panicked look, shaking her head. 

“It’s just a date,” Noah said coolly. “Go have fun.” Hurt moved like fog through Hope’s expression. Looking miserable she nodded at Jakub. 

Jakub scoured the remaining girls. Priya flicked her hair over her shoulder and gave him a flirtatious smile. He smirked and turned his attention to Lili, looking her up and down. “You girls sure make it hard.”

The guy was so gross and transparent that Bobby couldn’t help his snort of laughter. Lottie jabbed him with her elbow. 

“Who’re you stuck between, mate?” Gary asked.

“Priya and Lili.” Jakub grinned. “Who’ll it be ladies? If you want to fight over it, I’m happy to watch.”

“Uh, I’m alright.” Lili raised an eyebrow and pushed Priya forward. “All you babe.” Jakub frowned and then shrugged. 

All the dates raced to the villa to get changed. Bobby took his time and was still sitting in the dressing room when everyone else had finished. He was unnerved by Lili’s reaction to him going on a date. Was this what it felt like for her when he’d been trying too hard to play it cool about her dates with Henrik and Lucas? Because if so, he owed her a lot of cupcakes. This was a misery. He rolled a tube of lip gloss back and forth, clacking along the vanity. At least he had the comfort of knowing she wasn’t the least bit interested in Jakub. 

A shadow on the wall caught his eye and he glanced toward the doorway. Lili walked in and froze when she saw him. Her leopard print bikini was sopping wet and left absolutely nothing to the imagination. Not that he needed imagination. He’d seen and worshiped every inch of her. It was all quite vivid in his mind. The lip gloss tumbled off the vanity and rolled across the floor. She picked it up and stared at it a moment. “Coral is definitely not your color, babe.”

“I’m more of a bubblegum pink kind of boy,” he said hoarsely. His body was a live wire sparking and he was unsure if his excitement was over her state of undress or just because she’d finally spoken to him. 

She dropped the gloss back on the vanity and rolled it beneath her palm like she was forming pretzel dough. She started to speak and shook her head, turning away. 

He shot up from the chair and reached for her arm. “Please talk to me, lass.”

Her pinched expression softened ever so slightly. She bit her lip and looked away for a moment. “I just...I know things are...I—” she frowned. “Just have fun. On your date.”

“What’s that mean?” He swallowed his panic and stroked his fingers over her wrist. “Are you breaki…” 

“No. I’m not. It’s no—I’m just...we’re not...you and me. Right now...” She grunted in frustration. “I don’t know what I’m saying. I don’t know how to do this.”

He wrapped his arms around her. He had no idea what she was saying either, but she seemed so lost. She pressed her cheek to his chest and hugged him back, so tight it hurt, and he’d never been so grateful for pain.

“I’m not the least bit interested in her, if you’re worried about that.” He leaned back and stroked his thumbs over her cheeks. “You’re the only one. You’re all I want.” Tripping and tumbling into her black honey eyes, he hooked his fingers into her hair and drew her to him. Her breathy sigh trembled against his mouth and her fingers stroked his face as their lips met, brushing delicately against one another. Once he started, he couldn’t stop kissing her. Slowly. Reverently. 

She wound her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He had no idea which of them deepened the kiss, but one moment it was soft and sweet and the next, their tongues met and all the words they should have said were lost in the heat. Pressing her body to his, she sucked on his bottom lip, and oh it felt so good to know she still wanted him. 

He dug his hands in her curls and kissed her harder. Hot and messy. Tongues and teeth. He spun her around and lifted her up, sitting her on the dressing table. Her hands fumbled with the buttons of his shirt and pushed it aside. She ran her nails over his chest, making him shiver. He bit her neck and touched her everywhere. She arched into his greedy roaming hands. 

Aching and desperate for her, he kissed his way to her stomach and dropped onto his knees. He looked up at her. “You’re  _ all _ I want,” he said. Her eyes burned hot and bright, blinding him. Maybe this is what she needed. What they needed. Gripping her hips, he dragged her to the edge of the table and spread her thighs wide. She whimpered as he kissed his way to her bikini and stroked her through the fabric, eager to shove it aside so he could dive into her, sucking and licking and stroking until she forgot everything. Until her whole world rested on the tip of his tongue. 

But something stopped him. Maybe it was the too-tight coil of her muscles. Or the way her eyes were now squeezed shut. He ran his hands up and down her thighs and sat back. “Do you really want to do this, Lil?” 

She opened her eyes and the storm that replaced the blazing light was mesmerizing. She hesitated and her gaze slid away from his. It hurt. But it was all he needed to know. He pushed off the floor and pressed her legs together. “I don’t want this unless you want it too.” 

Her face crumpled and she stared down at her lap. “I—I don’t know what I want. Sorry, I’m not—I’m still trying to sort my head ou—” 

“Whatever the reason, you can always say no. Never apologize for that.” He stroked her cheek, and a tear splashed on his fingers. “I’m so sorry, lass.” He touched his forehead to hers, hurting for the way he’d hurt her. Wishing there were words to make it better. 

The stairs creaked and Priya poked her head in the room. “Um, sorry to interrupt, but it’s time for our dates.”

He nodded. “I’ll be down in a moment.” Priya disappeared and he sighed. “I don’t have to go.”

“No.” She wiped at her cheeks. “Chelsea is so sweet and funny. Go and have a laugh. Don’t worry about me. It’s been a long day and I’m...I’m just knackered.”

He tilted her chin up and looked into her eyes. She needed something. Not sex. Not apologies. But he couldn’t sort out what it was, and he was pretty sure she didn’t know either. So, he hugged her and gave her cheek a squeaky smooch. 

“Bobby, we need to go!” Priya hollered.

“I’ll be back soon.” It nearly killed him to walk away, but he turned and raced down the stairs. His poor sweet girl. He had her so twisted up and he didn’t know what to do about it. 

Priya chattered nervously the entire jeep ride. He suspected she was just excited to talk to someone who wasn’t upset at her. He reigned in his emotions and kept it light and funny, making her laugh the whole way there.

The dates were on a moonlit hilltop, overlooking the lush Spanish valley below. There were two tables, set far apart, decorated with candles and a single rose. It was quite romantic, and he wished Lili were there. If she had been, he’d have made a dumb joke about being  _ thorny  _ for her and she’d give that snort laugh that was half a scoff and half fond amusement. And she’d tell him to  _ leaf _ her alone, or some equally awful and delightful pun. 

He was longing for bad puns. Things had really gone off the rails.

There was no dwelling on that though. Chelsea squealed when she saw him and patted the table enthusiastically. “Come have a seat!” 

He dropped into the chair across from her and replicated her sunshiny grin. Suddenly a waiter came out of the shadows, carrying two large glasses of Sangria and sat them on the table. 

“Oooh!” She picked up the glass and took a long sip. “What’s your favorite fruit in the Sangria?”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “The strawberries.”

“Oh yeah, that’s so you! They’re sweet and everyone loves them best.” She leaned over, crossing her arms on the table. “It’s so crazy to meet you! It’s like I already know everything about you.”

“Do you? What’s my debit PIN?”

She looked upward and thought. “I don’t think you’ve said that. But I totally know everything else! You’re a pastry chef from Glasgow. And a hospital caterer. You used to sing in a band. You’re really funny, but you can’t dance. Though I don’t know if you really can’t dance or if you just don’t bother trying.”

“Little of both.” He laughed and raised his glass to drink. 

She nodded. “And I know you totally love Lili.”

He choked on the wine and coughed. “Uh, what?”

She kept talking like he hadn’t spoken. “Which, of course you do. She’ll pet your head and make you feel right with the world. And then she turns around and bam! Look at that booty!”

He started coughing again and sat the glass aside. It wasn’t safe to take a drink around Chelsea. 

“Anyway, it’s an epic love story. #LiliBob. Everyone thinks you guys are the best couple. You’d win the popular vote for sure. When you made Lili cupcakes after she was sad, it melted everyone’s hearts. Twitter goes crazy every time she talks about you in the Beach Hut. It’s so sweet. But then there’s all the naughtiness. I have to cover my eyes! The blankets don’t hide anything! I can’t even say the hashtag you had a few days ago.” 

_ Oh, Christ.  _ He was full of conflicted feelings. Horror that he’d nearly gone down on Lili in a room full of cameras earlier, and that his family was likely seeing those kinds of shenanigans. But simultaneously, he was full of pride, because the world knew how many times he’d made Lili come, sobbing his name. A thrill shot through him and he sat up a lot straighter. Apparently, his ego mattered more than his family’s trauma at his sexual escapades. 

He leaned forward and studied Chelsea. “Can I ask you a question?” 

“Of course! I love questions!”

“Why did you ask me on a date if you think Lili and I are so good together?”

She blinked giant blue eyes at him. “So we could chat, babes! Plus, Lili’s my girl and she seems sad and I didn’t know if you knew that. And I didn’t see you two snogging or bantering, which is really different than how you were on the telly.”

He swallowed. “Yeah, I know. I kind of…” He stared down at the table. “I messed things up.”

“Oh no!” She scowled. “Did you fool around with Priya?”

“What? No. Why?” 

“OMG seriously? Because she fancies you. She talks about you a lot. Almost as much as Lili does, and Priya never talks about Rahim like that.”

“I’m sure they edit the episodes to make it look like that, but we’re just friends.” He thought back to the night before on the terrace. She  _ had _ almost kissed him. But that wasn’t Priya fancying him, that was her bored and hurting. Wasn’t it? “Anyway, even if she did, I’ve never cheated on anyone. I wouldn’t do that.”

Chelsea tilted her head to one side. “Well then, it can’t be that bad. This year I’m all about second firsts. So, if you messed up, you just have to get her to give you a second first chance.”

“I—I honestly have no idea what that means.”

“Well, like starting over, but maybe that’s not right. Instead…” her mouth twisted as she thought. “Maybe go back to the last place where it was great and start your second first chance from there.”

Either he was going mad, or what she was saying made sense. “That’s...that’s good advice actually.”

“I’m full of good advice! I always say a relationship is like a house. When the lights go out, you don’t get rid of the house. You put out some of those cute yummy-smelling pumpkin chai candles from Boots. I love those! Anyway, you light the place up so you can find your way to the box thingy and flip the switch to turn the big lights back on!” She took another sip of sangria. “Oh! Have you ever been to a cat cafe?” 

The rest of the date was a lot of funny chat and rapid subject changes as Chelsea’s attention bounced from topic to topic. It was great fun trying to keep up with her. When their phones dinged, she popped out of her chair and hugged him tight. 

“I had such a good time! Me and Bobby Sweetcakes hanging out.” She shook her head. “Don’t forget. How do you find the box thingy?”

“Light some candles!” He grinned. How could anyone spend a few minutes with Chelsea and not feel great? He was perked up, as if he’d gone swimming in a pool full of optimism. Climbing into the jeep, he contemplated how he could get a second first chance.

Priya slid in beside him and bumped her shoulder to his. “How was it?” 

“Pure banter. Chelsea’s great.”

Something odd flashed in Priya’s eyes. Before he could try to decipher it, it was gone. She smirked and arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow at him. “Does Lili have some competition?”

“Not even a bit,” he said. “Anyhow, she only asked me out so she could chat about Lili.”

“What? Why would she do that?”

“Pretty sure she’s here for fun, not love.” Like he’d been before Lili spun his world out of orbit. 

“Hmm.” Priya shook her head and then pierced him with dark, probing eyes. “How  _ are _ you and Lili doing? It looked like you were having a row at the party, but everything happened so fast with the new people and all the drama, I didn’t get a chance to check on you.”

“It was a pretty intense fight, and I dunno where we are now. She’s upset about a lot of things. I mean, I pretty much destroyed her friendship with Hope.”

Priya snorted dismissively. “Hope is being so dramatic.” 

“Maybe. But Lili, she’s…” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “She’s not as sure about us as she was before. I’m pretty sure she’s gonna end things.” He breathed out slowly as a bit of his optimism drained away. “Fuck.”

She was silent for a moment. “You—you more than fancy her, don’t you?”

He looked out the window at the night sky racing by. What he felt was a longing that was painful. When he was with Lili, the world felt different. Brighter and more vibrant. Real. He felt as though every moment before her he’d been asleep, waiting for her kiss to wake him up. And he wanted her. All of her. Not just the pretty sparkly bits. Her tears, her scars, her anger, her pain. Her bad days and sleepless nights. He wanted to share every moment. He took a shuddering breath. “A bit more, yeah.”

The silence stretched in the jeep, until it felt hard to breathe. He shook his head and gave Priya a grin. “Anyway, how was your date with Prince Charming?”

“Ugh.” Her eyes rolled upward. “The whole thing was an exam to see if I lived up to his requirements for the most extra girl. He never actually asked me anything about myself and didn’t answer anything I asked him unless it was about weight training. It was awful. When I thought it couldn’t get worse, he told me that ironing his socks was proof of his BDE.”

He choked on a laugh. “It’s more like BSE.”

Priya’s brows crinkled. “What’s that?”

“Big Sock Energy. I saw him dressing earlier and there’s a well-ironed pair of them in his budgie smugglers.” Priya threw her head back and laughed like a hyena and a little of the day’s stress evaporated. At least someone was laughing at his damned jokes. 

When they got back, they had to go to the Beach Hut and talk about their dates. He was the last one to go in, so by the time he’d spilled his guts and headed to the villa, everyone was readying for bed. The room was full of chatter and laughter.

Lili sat on the floor cross-legged, carefully folding all the clothing in their cubby. Noah sat beside her talking. “See, that’s what makes his books so great. They’re all about seemingly helpless, disadvantaged kids who go on great adventures. And what saves the day is almost always kindness. Not super skills or intelligence. Just being a good, kind person.”

“They sound amazing,” she said. “I could have used that kind of book when I was a kid, and I bet my mentees would love them. I’m always looking for new ways to talk about their strengths and capabilities. The foster system can make you feel so helpless. Like you have no control over your own fate. They need to know that isn’t true.”

Bobby leaned against the doorway and just listened to her. Was there ever a more beautiful soul than his Lili? He smiled, but it slipped away. He tried to remember what Chelsea had said.  _ Go back to the last place where it was great and start your second first chance from there. _

The last place where it was great? It was in the Hideaway, bodies intertwined, tears in their eyes, placing stinging claims on one another's skin. There was so much rightness in that moment, looking at each other, knowing that what they had was special. That it mattered. 

“Does TFP have any mentoring programs in East London?” Noah asked. “Because my library may be able to create a supporting project.”

“Not yet, but I’m on the expansion committee.”

“Of course you are.” He shook his head. “You have a hard time saying no, don’t you?”

“No.” She smiled. “I’m not a pushover. I’d say no if it bored me or if it didn’t directly serve kids. For instance, you’ll never convince me to join a policy committee. It’s a great place to make change for the organization, but there are other people who feel passionate about that and I’m not one of them. Martyrdom doesn’t interest me. Almost everything I say yes to, I say it because I want to do it.” She started folding a pair of shorts.

Noah leaned closer. “When this is all over you should visit Romford. I can take you through some of our library programs. There are probably a few ideas you could use in Merseyside. And I’ll trade my book recommendations for your film ones. Movie nights are popular and I’m always looking for ideas to keep the kids entertained and educated.”

“Oh, that’d be boss! I’ve never been to London.”

“What?” He shook his head. “It’s the greatest city in the UK. That’s a disgrace.”

She rolled her eyes. “I was born and raised in Liverpool. I’ve already been to the greatest city in the UK.”

“Oooh, now you’re trying to start a fight. Liverpool? No.” 

She sat the shorts down. “What’s so great in London that I couldn’t find in Liverpool?”

Noah tilted his head, a smile tugging at his lips. “Me.” 

“Seriously?” Hope stormed in like a wraith, dangerous and dooming. 

Noah’s brow lowered. “We’re just having a chat.”

“Don’t treat me like I’m stupid. You’re sitting there all cozy, grafting on the girl who betrayed me.”

The air went out of the room, and other than Chelsea’s gasp, everyone was silent. Lucas, smelling blood in the water, got up and moved closer to the carnage.

“I’m not grafting,” Noah said, his voice as flat as his expression. “And she didn’t betray you. You’re being ridiculous.”

“No. Ridiculous is watching her giggle and bat her snakey eyes, while you fall all over yourself.” She crossed the room and loomed over Lili. “You two-faced cow.”

“Hope!” Noah jumped to his feet. 

A protective rage roared like a beast inside Bobby. He crossed the room in three long strides and stepped between them. “I don’t give a damn how mad you are, you don’t ever fucking talk to her like that. You need to step back.”

Behind him, Lili stood and squeezed his hand. “It’s alright, babe.”

“No, it’s not alright,” Hope said. 

Noah placed a careful hand on Hope’s shoulder. “C’mon duck, everyone’s tired and emotions are running high. Let’s not do this right now.”

She shook off his touch. “You’re determined to take her side.” There was a tremble in her voice that surprised Bobby. 

“I’m not taking anyone’s side. I’m trying to be reasonable.”

“Reasonable.” Hope turned the word over, like when you flip a rock in a garden and find spiders and crawly things beneath it. Her mouth curled up. She shook her head. “I—I need to go...somewhere else.” 

Lucas stepped forward. “I’ll go with you.” Hope didn’t seem to hear him. She spun on her heel and headed out the door. He moved to follow, but Noah’s hand shot out, pressing firmly against Lucas’s chest. 

“Why don’t you mind your own business, mate?” Noah’s voice was deathly quiet. He pointed across the room to Marisol. “Your partner is over there. Not here.”

“Do you really want to start this right now?” Lucas shoved his hand away and Noah took a step toward him, his expression thunderous, body ready for a square go. Oh fuck. Bobby moved to stand between them.

“Enough.” Lili’s voice cut through the tension like an icy wind, freezing everyone in place. “This isn’t about either of you, so put your willies away.” The two men glared at each other, but after a long moment Noah raised his hands and stepped back.

The air returned to the room. Lucas stalked out, chasing after Hope. Noah put his hands behind his head, his sizable biceps flexing as he breathed out slowly. Then, without another word, he headed to bed. 

Other than a bit of tightness around her mouth, Lili’s expression was as blank as an undecorated cake. She quietly returned to the floor and set about folding the rest of the clothes. He turned to all the curious eyes and shook his head. They got the idea and started settling into their beds. He touched Lili’s back. “Lass,” he whispered.

“I’m alright,” she said as she shook out one of his t-shirts and folded it with razor precision. 

She wasn’t. He sat on the floor behind her, stretching his legs out on either side of hers. She reached for another shirt, but he got there first, snatching it away and tossing it to the floor. “No, Lil.” He pressed his face to her neck and put his arms around her. “You’re not alright.” 

Her stiff body quaked against his, telling him just how not alright she was. He kissed the side of her head and squeezed her tighter. Releasing a stuttering breath, the dam broke and her shoulders hitched with the force of her silent tears. He rocked her gently, kissing her neck and shoulders. 

After a few minutes she sagged against him and sniffled. Her breathing softened and she tilted her head to look back at him. Her cheeks were blotchy, and her eyes and nose were red. Without breaking eye contact he grabbed the discarded shirt off the floor and dabbed the tears off, patting at her nose until she scrunched up her face and pushed the shirt away, laughing softly. 

“I’m dry now. On the outside anyway,” she said softly.

“It’s a start. Now, come on, beautiful.” He stood up and reached for her. “Let’s get some sleep.” 

She nodded but picked up the stack of perfectly folded shirts. “I should put these away first.” Her voice was wobbly and exhausted.

He snatched the pile away and shoved it haphazardly in the cubby, undoing all of her careful work. 

“What? Bobby…”

“I’m liberating you from that right now. This is cuddle time, Miss Clark-Reyes.” 

She took his hand and stood. “You know I’m just going to fold them again tomorrow, right?”

“No time to dwell on tomorrow when there’s a wee cuddle to be had tonight.” 

Her tiny smile was a balm to his bruised heart. “You sound a bit like Chelsea now,” she whispered. They climbed into the bed and she immediately scooted close, sighing against his neck. “Speaking of, how was your date?”

“You were right. It was a laugh. Though it would have been more fun if you’d been there.” He told her about the evening and Priya’s date. He avoided any mention of Chelsea’s advice. 

She was quiet for a long while. He stroked her shoulder. “What’s on your mind, lass?”

“Everything.” She traced her nails over the freckles on his chest. “I keep asking myself how I’d handle all of this in the real world and it’s like, none of this would happen in the real world, would it? Things don’t move like they do here. Friendships wouldn’t form and disintegrate like this. I wouldn’t be so emotional and confused because I never put myself in a position to feel that way if I can avoid it. I’d be at home sitting on the floor with a planner, working out lesson plans for dance classes and eating leftover curry pie. And then I’d take a bubble bath.” She blew out a breath. “I miss bubble baths.” 

“I miss my kitchen, so I understand.” He ran his finger along the shell of her ear. “But this  _ is _ the real world, Lil. It’s an odd pocket of it, because time is compressed, but it’s real enough.” He looked down into her dark, glassy eyes. “Us. You and me? We’re real.”

For the first time since everything had gone pear-shaped, he could sort out exactly what she felt. There was so much longing in her gaze, and it matched all that was in his heart. She wanted to believe that they were real. But she didn’t know how to anymore.

She closed her eyes and pressed her cheek to his chest. He stroked her hair and stared at the ceiling. He was still awake after she’d relaxed into sleep. Lili had painted a picture of what her life was like, and he couldn’t stop sketching himself into it. Rubbing her back while she worked out her lesson plans. Reheating the curry pie. Running the water for her bath. Caring for her in a thousand ways that seemed small but added up to something vast and beautiful. God, what he wouldn’t give to wake beside her every morning and come home to her sweet smile every evening. To give her all of him without fear, so she’d never again doubt that he was hers and she was his. 

And suddenly he understood what had turned off the lights.

And where to find the candles. 

Days ago, he’d sat on the terrace with Lili on his lap, her hand pressed against his racing heart, and he’d told her that with the way things worked in the villa, they couldn’t make any promises. She’d agreed that it wasn’t wise. 

But what if promises were exactly what they needed? They’d been tiptoeing around their feelings, afraid to move too fast. But the circumstances of their romance were extraordinary and maybe it was time to lean into that. Instead of trying to apply normal rules of how relationships progress, they needed to accept that their timeline was different from other people’s and give each other the reassurances they needed now. 

The show’s rules were strict and left them with very little control over their lives. Lili was someone who thrived on a bit of control, and likely felt as smothered by the constraints as he was. They both needed to know that they weren’t helpless. They were in control of their fate. If they were truly together, nothing could separate them. The show could try, but they’d know it was temporary. 

He wasn’t ready to say the big word—in all caps—that was flashing like neon lights in his head every day. That word was too overwhelming to focus on for more than a moment at a time. But maybe he could say something almost as bright, but in lowercase letters.

Girlfriend. 

The thought of it had him buzzing. 

_ Hey lads, meet my girlfriend, Lili. She puts up with all my shite. _

_ Oh, I can’t go out tonight. I’m making cupcakes for my amazing girlfriend. _

_ Don’t worry. My girlfriend will be here in a moment. She knows how to change a tyre. _

He snuggled down closer to Lili and kissed her forehead. Even as he started drifting to sleep, he was lit up like a candle, flickering and swaying, filling the darkness with a glow bright enough to find his way to the box thingy. To the switch. 

They were getting the light back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noah, man. What are you doing? 📚😬
> 
> In case you were wondering, the author Noah and Lili were discussing was Roald Dahl. He wrote one of my top five all-time favorite books, Matilda. But it was Jolene who reminded me that all of his stories are about kids, kindness, and inner-strength.
> 
> Thank you for reading! If you like what I do, leave me kudos or a comment or tweet me @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are my preferred currencies. 💖
> 
> As always I don't think I could keep doing this fic if it weren't for Jolene and Prim. You are more than my critique partners. You are my best friends and I'm so lucky to know you. You water my earth. 
> 
> Also, thank you to Curry for helping me through Bobby's fuck up, and also just for generally being rad AF. And Tashiecake, giiirrrrrrl. You are so talented and funny and generous. I promise that our cross-over is...coming 😈😂 And I'm looking forward to that pin-up. Death to the 3/4 angle!


	34. Flicker and Sway, Still Dancing on the Aftertaste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lili is unsure, Bobby is motivated, Hope isn't the villain she seems, and Noah is kind of a prick. It's all coming together now 😂

Bobby awoke groggy, but optimistic. 

Lili still slept soundly, wrapped in his arms and he stroked the curves of her face. Even quiet in sleep, she filled him with wild, reckless emotion. He wanted to pull her close and never let her go. He wanted to wake her and make love. He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him over and over. 

But he had work to do. 

He’d never asked a girl to be exclusive in a straightforward way. He always chose to be cute and coy. “Maybe I kinda don’t wanna date anyone else right now,” sort of thing. Leaving plenty of room to backpedal if the girl wasn’t interested. But Lili deserved something more than that, something honest and definitive. 

He pulled himself out of bed, feeling the loss of her body like a missing limb. She’d been tossing and turning all night and the bedding was in disarray. He stopped to cover her feet with the blanket before making his way to the kitchen. 

Magic cupcakes weren’t the solution, but maybe a little sweetness could ease them into the conversation they needed to have. He sifted through his baking cupboard to see what he had to work with. The producers had restocked since the last time he’d baked. There were tins of fruit filling, small bottles of liqueur, a jar of lemon curd. Lots of chocolate. It was a bit like being on a cooking show where they gave you mystery ingredients and you had to turn them into something delicious. 

Chocolate was definitely the way to Lili's smile. Working fast, he made fudgy chocolate cupcakes filled with pink champagne cream, topped with a shiny layer of ganache. Using the ganache as a flat canvas he meticulously piped the outline of two otters holding hands on each cupcake. 

Smiling, he chose the one he’d piped the best and plated it, but it didn’t seem quite enough. He looked around the kitchen. There was a floral arrangement on the table of hot pink daisies and dainty bubblegum pink roses. He picked out the least wilted hot pink daisy and some baby’s breath. After washing them, he arranged them on the plate beside the cupcake. Perfect. He covered the plate and took it to the bedroom. Lili was still asleep even though everyone else was awake and shuffling around mostly conscious. He sat it on the bedside table and headed upstairs. He wanted to stay and see her reaction, but some part of him said it was a bad idea to linger. She deserved to enjoy it without the burden of his ego getting in the way. 

After a long hot shower, he wrapped the towel around himself and headed downstairs. The bedroom was empty except for Lili, bent over the cubby, refolding his pile of shirts from the night before. The daisy he’d picked out was tucked haphazardly in her curls. His heart raced looking at it and he circled the bed and wrapped her in his arms. 

Instinctively it seemed, she curled hers around his neck, “You’re all wet.” 

“I’m giving you a pre-shower,” he said. 

“What if I’d already showered?”

“It would be a shower before your next shower. A post pre-shower…shower.”

“You don’t know how words work.” She laughed as he rubbed his wet locs on her cheek.

“Too true.” He ran his fingers over the petals of the daisy in her hair. “You look so beautiful in the mornings. If it weren’t for the cupcakes, I would have stayed in bed with you all day.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Bobby, I haven’t showered, I’m still in my pyjamas and my hair is a frizzy mess.” 

“Doesn’t matter. You’re still gorgeous.” He played with one of her messy curls. “So…”

“So.” She gently pulled out of his embrace. “Thank you for my cupcake. It was delicious.” She picked up the shirts intent on putting them away, but she stopped pushing them in. With her free hand she reached into the shelf and pulled out the pink neon heart he’d stuck there the day before. She gave him a questioning look.

“I fished it from the pool. A souvenir.”

She flushed and looked away. “You wanted a souvenir of me losing my temper?”

“No. Of our first fight. It’s a milestone.”

She fought a smile and lost, her dimples flashing. “I suppose it is.” She slid it back into the cubby and sat heavily on the bed. “Is this how you usually get out of fights? Cuteness and baked goods?”

He sat beside her, adjusting his towel to keep it in place. “Honestly, you’re the first girl I’ve ever fought with.”

“I refuse to believe you haven’t infuriated another girl to the point of mayhem.” Her expression was serious, but her lip twitched, and he laughed. 

“Believe it or not, I haven’t. You’re just special.” She snorted and he reached for her hand, sliding his fingers between hers. “How are you feeling today?”

She was quiet a moment. “I don’t know.” Her foot jiggled anxiously, and her ankle bracelet tinkled a tuneless song. “I really don’t.” Suddenly she let go of his hand and stood. “I need to take a shower.” 

“Hey.” He reached for her and tugged her close. “I’m not trying to push you. I just wanted to know if you were alright. Last night was brutal. Hope was out of line.”

Her stormy eyes softened. “I’m sorry—I...” She stepped closer and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his cheek to her stomach. She held him, her nails trailing gently up and down the back of his neck. Her tenderness overwhelmed him, and he squeezed her tighter. She sighed softly and stroked a loc off his forehead. “What am I gonna do with you, Pastry Chef?”

_ Fall for me and never stop falling. _He forced those words back down from where they’d been hiding in his throat. Jesus Christ. No. “I dunno,” he said, his voice creaky.

“Me neither.” She leaned down and hesitated a moment. He looked up at her, unsure what she’d do. He kept his hands where they’d been around her waist, afraid to move. She seemed as skittish as a lost kitten and he feared sending her running.

She stared down at him as if she were trying to decipher a puzzle. Maybe now was the time to tell her how much she meant to him. And that he wanted things to be official so they could both relax and enjoy what they had. He'd have preferred something elaborate and showy, since she didn’t mind that, but maybe a quiet moment was better. 

He reached up and stroked her chin. “Lil, I wan—” 

“Please kiss me,” she whispered. 

He lost all his words. All his intentions. He pulled her closer and cupped her jaw, closing the distance between them. His mouth found hers and he kissed her tenderly, savouring every second of sweet softness. Every second of renewed hope for another chance.

Her fingers dug into his locs. Sparks sizzled in his head and he hugged her tighter. She dropped onto his lap and he fell backward onto the bed, dragging her with him. They kissed for ages. He stroked his hands up and down her back. He was so damned happy just to be touching her, and to be touched by her.

Finally, she pulled away and flopped onto her back. He turned to face her. “Where the hell did you learn to kiss like that?” he asked.

“I was just wondering the same thing about you.” 

“No idea.” He played with her frizzed curls. “Do you remember your first kiss?” 

“I do. But you hardly learn to be a good kisser from the first one, do you? That comes later, with a little experience. Or maybe good chemistry.”

“Tell me about the first one anyhow.”

She hesitated, opening her mouth and closing it. He could read the sudden unease in her eyes, and it stung like a swarm of wasps. Back in the Hideaway she’d trusted him with her stories. But now she wasn’t sure if she should. He swallowed and reached for her hand. 

She stared down at their entwined fingers and nodded. “It’s a silly story.”

“Those are my favourite kind.”

“Alright.” She laughed self-consciously, her cheeks blazing prettily. “Um, I didn’t have my first kiss until I was nineteen. He was the cashier at the shop near my hall of residence. Very sweet. He said he was having friends over to his flat to watch Mystery Science Theater and invited me. I was so excited because I didn’t know anyone else who watched the show. I had no idea that it was a date, like.”

“Oh no.”

“I was such a muppet. I came straight from dance class, sweaty and wearing trackies. Of course, none of his mates showed up.”

“Classic creeper moves. You didn’t marry this lad?”

“Ha. We watched the show and he made a move and I was shocked. But I went with it. I’m sure he was disappointed by my lack of skill. And technique. And general comfort.” She covered her face with her hand. “I was so awkward. But he hung in there. We snogged for a while and then he...” She rolled her eyes. 

“Don’t tell me he went for the diddies.”

“If that means he grabbed a tit, then yes. I didn’t know what to do. I sat up and yelled, ‘I have to study!’ Like a total div.” She shook her head and groaned. “Poor la, he was so confused. But he walked me to the door and I… I shook his hand like we’d had a job interview. Was home by nine. I had to change shops to avoid him after that.” Her cheeks were nearly scarlet. “How about you?”

His face burned, probably as red as hers. “This was a bad idea.”

“I told you mine! You have to tell me yours!”

He laughed nervously. “Okay, okay. Apparently, it was at a party. There was a girl from school, she’d liked me since we were teenagers. And I obviously had no idea, because, well…” He gestured toward himself.

“Stop it. You’re gorgeous. Inside and out.”

He studied her. “Even when you’re mad at me?”

“Even then,” she said without hesitation. 

His heart flipped in the meltiest way, and he loved it. “You’re bonnie.” He thought for a moment. “I was nearly eighteen.”

“Really?”

“I swear. And I was pure steamin. Had way too much tonic wine and I could barely stand. The whole night was a blur to be honest. She was pretty disappointed the next day when she texted me and I had to admit that I didn’t remember any of it.”

“Poor girl. Did you make up for it and kiss her sober?”

“No. I was awkward too.” He pulled her closer and nuzzled her nose. “So, tell me about those trackies you were wearing. Were they grey?”

“Very,” she murmured. “And stained purple from painting a dance prop.”

“Mmm, hot.” He brushed his lips against hers. “I hope your hair was a mess.”

“It was. And I’d had tuna for lunch.”

“It just gets better,” he said, laughing against her mouth. Desperate for more of her smiles, he kissed her all over her face, smooching her cheeks and temples and forehead. She laughed and her nose scrunched up, her eyes shining like tempered chocolate. It was so beautiful. He searched that smile and found what he was looking for. 

Her light was back. 

Not as bright or vivid as before, but it was there. Relief, so intense it made his eyes burn, overwhelmed him. He kissed her. Her light was sweeter than a warm cupcake and as decadent as cold champagne. He savored the taste of her glow, letting it fill him up until he could feel it in every part of his body. 

They kissed until the glow turned to sparks, and the sparks to flames. He slid a hand into her hair and tugged her head back to trail his mouth beneath her chin. She cupped his hand over her breast, and he groaned against her neck as he stroked the achingly hard nipple beneath her pyjama top. 

His cock pushed at the constraint of the towel he was wearing, pulling it loose and reminding him where they were. He reluctantly sat up. “We’d better stop or I’m going to end up naked here.”

She bit her lip and her eyes trailed down his body. Without warning she straddled him again and kissed him with the kind of heat that made his head near to exploding. Her fingers slid into his locs, making him shiver, as she licked her way down, until her mouth was hot on his neck. He moaned as she ran her tongue over the purple mark she’d made in the Hideaway. Her hips rocked against his and he gripped her ass, arching to meet her. God, he wanted her so much.

He glanced around the room. They were alone, though he could hear people chatting outside, probably in the kitchen. Well, if they were quiet, they would be fine. He looked back at her, and something in her eyes, something sad, slowed him.

They weren’t fine. 

The intrusive thought rushed in like an ocean wave and wouldn’t recede. They shouldn’t be doing this when she hadn’t told him what she wanted. For a few minutes they’d been able to go back to their easy bants, but the truth was, they were still fractured. 

He pulled back. “We should talk about—”

“No talking,” she said, grinding against him. 

He tried to slow her hips. To keep his head. “But if you’re still upset, I don’t know if we should…”

She stilled. “If you don’t want to, we can stop.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to. I do. I…” The words he needed to say, they were just beneath the surface, and refusing to come up for air. 

She reached between them and stroked him beneath the towel. Her teeth tugged on his earlobe. “I need you,” she whispered.

A stronger lad would have insisted that they discuss what was happening between them. Were they together? Not together? Did she want to be his girlfriend? But he didn’t say any of those things. 

He needed her too. 

Without letting go of each other they somehow made it beneath the covers, a condom in hand. There was no time for slow sweet love making like what they had in the Hideaway. But there was something sexy about it being rushed and frantic. All tongues and fingers and fear of being caught in the daylight. She climbed on top and slid him inside. Oh, it was so good with her. She ground down on him and he tugged on her nipples, rolling them between his fingers, making her cry out softly. He wished he had the time to really give her body all the attention he wanted. She rode him hard and fast and before long he felt himself tightening. Oh fuck. 

“Lass,” he moaned. His hand slipped between their bodies and he stroked her. “Slow down so I can make you come.”

She didn’t slow her hard rhythm. “No. Just fuck me till I forget everything else,” she whispered. 

He groaned at her sweet demand and peered over the edge of the bedding. The room was still empty. He flipped her onto her back and pushed both bed pillows under her ass. “I can do that. Tell me if it’s too much.” He pulled her legs up high on his back. “It’s going to be deep.”

He pressed his forehead to hers. Instead of thrusting, he rolled his hips, grinding against her centre slowly. Her nails dug into his shoulders and her hips kept raising up, trying to force him to pump, but he shook his head and continued his deep friction, making slow circles with his hips

“Oh my god, oh—” She quivered beneath him and gave up all pretense of being quiet as the pressure built. Her whimpers and cries bounced around the room and he had to kiss her to stifle the sound. “Please,” she moaned prettily against his mouth. “Please, Bobby.” 

Her sweet sounds were driving him mad. Fuck it was so hot. But somewhere in the back of his head, he recognized voices much closer than the kitchen. Dammit. Would they never have any privacy? 

A cry broke from her and he pressed his fingers lightly to her mouth. “Baby girl, you gotta quiet down.” She nodded and shifted to suck on his fingertips. For a moment she made no sound other than soft exhalations. But something was off. Some of the tension had left her body. She still held him, but there was a reserve in it that hadn’t been there before. 

He pulled back, looking at her as much as he was able in the dim light beneath the covers. She looked so self-conscious, her teeth digging into her lower lip, trying to hide the sounds of her pleasure. Fuck. He’d done what her ex had done, hadn’t he? Made her anxious and ashamed of her enthusiasm. That was unacceptable. He loved her intensity and noise and playfulness. He loved her need for more and harder and yes yes yes. His passionate girl deserved to have that.

Still grinding deep inside of her, he bit her neck. “Fuck the villa,” he growled. “Fuck everything. Let all of Mallorca hear you. Make noise, Lil.” Her arms tightened around him, but she hesitated. Stroking her cheek tenderly, he looked deep into her dark eyes and gave a sharp, hard thrust. She cried out and her heels dug into his back. He moaned a touch louder than he normally would have. “Aye, just like that.”

She arched up to meet him and their bodies crashed together like careless cymbals. He didn’t back away from the intensity, going hard and deep until her moans had returned and surpassed their previous volume. Fuck yes. He leaned down and bit her earlobe. “I wanna hear you come, lass.”

She tightened so hard he saw spots. “That’s it,” he growled out, driving deeper. Her nails dug into his back and scraped down his arms as she shattered like sugar glass beneath him. The delicious sting and her trembling sob sent him tumbling over the edge. He kissed her carelessly as pleasure rippled like ocean waves just before they slammed into the shore. With a cry of his own, he buried his face in the crook of her neck and shuddered, losing himself inside of her. 

They stayed locked together, heads nestled against each other, breathing heavily. He stroked the now crushed flower in her hair. “You’ve truly ruined me for all other girls.”

“Mmm,” she murmured, kissing his jaw. “Good.” After a moment, her legs loosened from his back and she groaned. 

Laughing he moved off and gently pulled the pillows from under her. Then he flipped the bedding off their faces, letting the cool air rush over them as he kissed her slow and sweet, baring his most tender feelings with every sweep of his lips.

From outside, they heard giggles and laughter and pool splashing. He stroked her cheek. “I think someone heard us. Probably everyone, honestly.” 

“Oh my god, I know.” She groaned and buried her face in his shoulder. “I’m so loud. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you dare be sorry. It was sexy as fuck.” He scraped his teeth beneath her ear and she whimpered. “Give me about ten minutes and I’ll bend you over the sofa, and _ really _ give them a show.”

“Noooooo.” She smiled, but her brows drew together. “That idea shouldn’t turn me on, should it?”

He grinned.“Oh it should, ya naughty girl.”

“Seriously though, how are we gonna face everyone, like?” 

“With big smiles,” he said, kissing her softly. She laughed and squeezed his arm. It stung and he pulled back. “Och. What was that?”

She gave him an abashed look. “I scratched you a bit. I’m so sorry.”

He strained his neck to look at the back of his arm. Angry red scratches ran down his tricep. The stinging was higher too. He flipped onto his side and looked back at her. “Woman, am I bleeding?”

“Um, no. Not really. Mostly. A little maybe.” She giggled and buried her face between his shoulder blades. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t sound sorry,” he said, trying to hide his smile. 

“Yes, well, neither do you.” 

He flipped over and kissed her. “I’m not. After all that noise? I’m a god amongst men right now.”

“Ugh, heaven save me from the ego of a Scotsman.” She slid her clothes back on under the blanket. “Come on. I’ll fix you up.”

They headed upstairs. In the bathroom, he turned to look at himself in the mirror. Holy hell. There were deep scratches across his upper back and down the backs of both arms. Some really were bleeding. “Ooooh wow.”

She bit her lip. “It’s your fault, Mister ‘I want to make you come.’”

“Victim blaming, Lili?” 

Barking a laugh, she set about cleaning up his wounds. “I’d feel worse about it, but that orgasm was so good my toes are still tingling.”

He tried not to look smug and knew he failed. “I turned you into a proper wildcat,” he said. She kissed him and gave a little snort growl that was so cute it hurt. 

Should he ask her? She was all loved up and glowing. They’d broken the chilly barrier between them, and he wanted it to stay gone. He stood there contemplating it, as she cleaned up and got dressed. As they headed down the stairs, he grabbed her hand. 

“I was thinking about something,” he said.

She raised her eyebrows. “Sounds serious. What is it?” 

“Well, I was thinking that we’ve got something spec—”

“Whoooooo!” Chelsea’s shout stopped them, as they stepped outside. Most of the villa was gathered just outside the doorway. Applauding. 

Lili’s bronze skin turned vermillion and his own face burned with crimson fire. 

“That was some show, kids!” Gary pretended to bow down to them. 

Lottie smirked. “I’m kind of surprised you can even walk after that, Lili.”

“Serious BDE,” Jakub said. 

“Oh my god.” Lili covered her face with her hands, body shaking with mortified laughter. 

“Lili, you lucky girl,” Priya purred. She gave a playful smirk but when her eyes caught Bobby’s, he was surprised to see something shimmering almost like pain. What was that? It was gone so fast he wasn’t sure he’d truly seen it. 

“You’ve done Scotland proud, Bobby.” Marisol said, her usually serious expression breaking into laughter. “Though, the church might consider you married now…”

He held Lili close and laughed. “Okay okay, you’ve had your fun. Sorry-not-sorry for the...disturbance.” He draped an arm over her shoulder and steered her away from the group, which dispersed jovially. 

“Everyone we’ve ever met is going to see and hear that, aren’t they?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“Sometimes I forget about the cameras…” She put her hands over her mouth again. “Oh my god. My coworkers…”

“Dunno if this makes it better or worse, but Chelsea told me that the world has seen a good amount of our naughty behavior.”

“So much worse,” she groaned. 

“On the upside, we’re a very popular couple.”

“So. Much. Worse.”

He laughed and pulled her close again. “Come on,” he whispered in her ear. “There’s a part of you that’s turned on by this.”

She looked up at him and scraped her teeth over her lower lip. “Maybe. A little. But also embarrassed.”

“Me too. But I definitely want to do it again. I think my kink might be applause.”

Her shoulders rose and fell with the force of her laughter. “That’s a surprise to absolutely no one, la.”

He breathed in happily and pressed a kiss to her neck as they made their way to the kitchen. “Why don’t I make you a brew?” 

“Oh, I’d love that. You make the best cuppa.” She thought for a moment. “Can I have another cupcake, too?” 

Before he could answer, her steps faltered. Noah and Hope were in the kitchen and the air was thick with tension. 

“That’s not what I’m saying.” Noah reached for Hope’s hand. “I understand why you’re upset, bu—”

“No, you don’t.” Hope stiffened as her gaze scraped over Lili, who took a step backward. Without another word, Hope shot to her feet and stomped away, toward the pool. 

“Fucking hell,” Noah said, scrubbing at his face. He stared at Lili for a moment and then his eyes skirted away from her. “I’d better go.” 

Lili nodded. “Yeah.”

He started to go and then turned back. “It’s not that I don’t want to—”

“I understand.”

“It’s just...I’ll talk to her.”

Lili shook her head. “Please don’t. She’s entitled to her boundaries. Let her have them.”

“But it’s not fair to—”

“I’ll be fine. But she’s not fine and I…” She crossed her arms. “I understand why. Don’t try to make her see my side. She can’t right now. She’s hurting too much.”

“But why? Why is she so upset?”

“I can’t say. But she is and you need to be gentle with her.”

“But it makes no sense!” His raised voice bounced around the kitchen. It was the most emotion Bobby had seen out of the man.

Lili’s mouth tightened. “Just because it doesn’t make sense _ to you _ doesn’t mean it’s senseless.”

“That’s exactly what it means. If it didn’t mean that, then you could tell me that you’re riding blueberries to the moon today and I wouldn’t question it. But that’s stupid.” His expression darkened as he slapped his hands together. “Sense is sense.”

“The world isn’t that black and white.” She narrowed her eyes and put her hands on her hips and Bobby was reminded of her expression right before she knocked the wine bucket to the ground.

“It actually is,” Noah said. 

“No. It’s not. She’s a human, not one of your books with a neat storyline and clear motivations. Humans are full of complexities and unreasonable feelings. Don’t expect everyone to be a robot just because you insist on pretending to be one.” Bobby looked at her with shock. 

“I just want her to be reasonable,” Noah said. “That doesn’t make me a robot.”

“I swear to Christ…” She pointed her finger at him. “You’re just as obstinate as she is, you know that? What you think doesn’t matter here. Stop trying to make her see reason and just give her space to feel her fucking feelings, Noah!”

He stared knives at her, and she stared them back. Finally, he threw his arms out and stormed off. 

What the hell was that? A bubbling worry floated around Bobby’s chest. He hadn’t had time to process it the night before, but Noah had definitely been grafting on Lili in front of everyone. Hope hadn’t been wrong about that. 

She sighed and dropped heavily onto the bar stool, resting her head in her hands. He wrapped his arms around her from the back and she sagged against him. He kissed the side of her head. “What can I do for you, lass?”

“I’d love that brew.”

“One Lili special coming up. Heavy on the vanilla syrup and light on the tea.” He gave her a squeeze before heading to the cooker. They were both quiet as he worked. While the water heated, he plated another cupcake and grabbed another hot pink daisy and sat it beside the plate. She grinned and slid it into her hair. He pushed the mug of tea in front of her and sat on the stool beside hers. 

“So, you keep saying that you understand why Hope’s so upset. Care to share? Because I really want to go have a word with her about the way she’s treating you.”

“No!” Her eyes were huge. “What is it with men thinking they can just force things to be alright when they’re not?”

He took a step back, anxiety ticking inside of him like a kitchen timer. Was that what he was doing? Trying to force something to be alright when it wasn’t? The ticking sped up. He pushed it back and gave her a cheery smile he didn’t feel. “Is this another fight? Because we’re eventually gonna run out of space in the cubby for the mementos.”

She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them, they were glistening. “I’m sorry babe.” She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I didn’t mean to snap at you.” She threw her head back and took a breath. “I’m not like this. It usually takes a lot to upset me, but here I feel so… I don’t know. This place is making me crazy.” 

“Yeah, I know that feeling.” He lifted her hand and kissed it. “It’s fine.”

Silence rested between them for a moment, but he could feel her trying to sort out what she wanted to say next. “I just… Today. Last night. Standing up for me, it’s… sweet. But I’ve always taken care of myself and I’m quite capable of it.”

“I know that. You’re tougher than making French meringue in Scotland.” 

Her brows scrunched together. “Um, thank you?” 

“See, French meringue looks simple. It’s just sugar and egg whites and cream of tartar, right? But it’s fussy. You can ruin it in a dozen ways before you ever put it in the oven, and even if you get everything right, if you make it on a humid day you have to bake it for hours on low heat and you’ll likely overcook it. Which is a problem because Scotland is humid as hell. That’s why we’re so sarcastic. We’re a country full of damp people who have to eat weepy meringues.” 

She stared at him, her lips pressed together as if her mouth was full of liquid, and her shoulders hitched from the force of holding in her laugh. Then it burst out in a series of joyful wheezes. Her smile was like staring at the sun through a crystal prism. Bright and soft and full of color. She laughed, and all he could think about was how much he wanted to put that smile on her face every single day for the rest of his life. 

Finally, she waved her hands in the air and took a few deep breaths. “Oh my god, a meringue hurt you, didn’t it?” 

He couldn’t hold back his own smile. “Aye. My sister wanted pavlova for her birthday. Of course, it rained all morning. I spent an entire day and made three of them. Not one turned out. We ended up picking up a lemon cake from Sainsburys.” 

“It still stings, doesn’t it?”

“I know you’re slagging me, but it does.”

Once she had herself under control, she wiped the tears from the edges of her eyes. “Oh, that was such a tangent. I loved it.” She sighed. “What was I even talking about?” 

“Um, that you’re a tough independent lass, and you don’t need no man standing up for you.”

“You’re damn right.” She picked up her fork and traced the otters on the cupcake. “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, though. I appreciate that you want to protect me. No one has ever done that for me before.”

“But they should have.” She rolled her eyes. “Hear me out,” he said. “It’s not because you can’t take care of yourself. You can. But what’s the point of being together if you’re not going to protect each other?”

“I—” Her shoulders sagged. “I can’t argue with that.”

“Too right you can’t.” He grinned at her. “Now back to the point before you started ranting about meringue.”

“Um, that was you.” 

“No. No. That doesn’t seem right. Anyway, we were talking about Hope. What the hell is going on?”

Her expression clouded. “It’s her story to tell.”

“But she told you on camera though, right? The world knows. And we’ll all know when we leave here. So please help me understand.”

Curls of steam from the tea caressed her face as she considered it. Finally, she nodded. “Hope was engaged to a guy once.”

“Really? Why can’t I picture that?”

“Because she’s so brittle now. But she was a lot younger and more trusting back then. I won’t give you all the details, but they’d been together for a long time. He started acting strange, and in typical Hope fashion, she went full _ Lemonade _ on him. Noticing lies. Creeping on his social media. She finally got hold of his phone and found out he _ was _ cheating and had been for a while.”

As angry as he was at Hope, his heart twisted to think of her young and hurting. “How can someone do that to another person? It’s horrible.” He thought for a moment. “It was a friend, wasn’t it?”

“Her best friend since primary school.” She fiddled with the handle of her mug. “She didn’t just lose her fiancé and her best friend. She lost her ability to trust people. With boys, it’s like, forget it. As soon as she catches real feelings she starts looking for the exit. And it’s taken her years to get to the point of trusting other girls even a little.” Lili took a meager bite of her cupcake. “In the grand scheme, _ Operation: Nope _would have been a bad idea, but nothing more than bored people playing games. But to Hope…”

“It opened a wound.” He swallowed all the apologies he wanted to give for destroying her friendship. His guilt wasn’t a problem she needed. He’d apologized already and any more was for him, not for her. 

“Yeah. Hope isn’t as confident as she seems. I know she rubs people the wrong way sometimes, but she’s not a bad person, she truly isn’t.”

“I know she’s not.”

“We all have baggage, yeah? Some have big bags. Some small ones. And some have those bags that look small but hold more than you can imagine.”

“Ah, like the TARDIS.”

“Yeah. Bigger on the inside.” She smiled. “That’s Hope. She’s carrying so much more than people realize.”

“I can see that now. But it doesn’t excuse the way she spoke to you.”

“No, it doesn’t. But now doesn’t feel like the time to have that conversation. She’s fragile and I’m worried that Lucas is going to take advantage of that. He’s… he’s been fixated on me, but he’s also competitive and wants to stay in the villa.”

Bobby shook his head. “You’re so worried about everyone else when you should be thinking of yourself.”

“Pot meet kettle?”

“Touche.” He leaned his head against hers. 

She pressed kisses to his cheek, and he warmed at her affection. “Whatever happens, just go easy on Hope. This dumped all her baggage onto the ground.” 

He gathered his thoughts before speaking. It was dangerous ground. “I still think her attacking you is wrong, but...Noah _ was _ grafting on you last night. She didn’t imagine that.”

Her eyes were troubled as she sat the fork down. “Yeah. She had a right to be upset. He crossed a line.” 

“He likes you,” he said, keeping his voice casual. 

She frowned. “Maybe. But I think he was intentionally baiting Hope. He’s mad about Lucas kissing her. He likes to play like he’s above drama but he’s just better at hiding his intentions than she is. Her feelings are right on the surface. If she’s mad or sad or happy, you know it. Noah hides everything.”

“You see right through all of us, don’t you?”

“Not everyone. Some people are harder to read than others. You’re a challenge sometimes.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” He kissed her and she wound her arms around his neck and kissed him back. “I wish I could wear my heart on my bikini strap like you,” he said.

“Mmm,” she said. “I’d actually pay to see you in a bikini.”

“I’m comfortable with my sexuality, Lil. I have no problem giving you that for free.”

She kissed him, laughing. “I do love that about you. You’re so open to possibilities.”

“Hey, Lili, I love your bikini!” Chelsea wandered over and plopped herself beside them. “Not everyone has a great booty to pull off that cut, but you totally do.” She looked over her shoulder and smacked her own ass. “I mean, I probably could too!” 

“You do have a great bum,” Lili said. 

“I hear that a lot. It must be all the Prosecco. Ooh, are those cupcakes?”

Bobby shrugged and gave her one. 

“Aww look, kitties holding hands!” 

“They’re otters,” Lili said. 

“Nooooo. Those are cats.” 

He clutched his chest. “Are you trying to hurt me?”

Gary ambled in and slapped Bobby on the back. “Alright, mate?” He saw the cupcakes and rushed to grab one.

“What’s that look like on there?” Chelsea pointed at the otter silhouette. 

Gary turned the cupcake this way and that. “Er, uh, teddy bears?”

“Teddy be—” Bobby snatched the cupcakes away from the both of them. “No cupcakes for you.”

“What’d I do?” Gary said. “It looks like bears, don’t it?”

“They have whiskers and long tails!”

Lili covered her laugh with her hand. “Babe, give them back.” 

He gave them both mock glares and handed them back. “I otter have words with the both of you later.”

“You should get otter here and let them eat their cupcakes in peace,” Lili said.

“You know, Lil,I’m starting to wonder if you even give a dam.”

She snorted. “Beavers make dams. Not otters. Up your pun game, soft lad.” 

He sighed. “Why kick a man when he’s down?”

“Aww.” She pulled him into a hug. “You’re otterly adorable.”

“Oh, just for that, I’m leaving the dishes for you to wash up.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “I’m going to the pool,” he announced dramatically, stomping off. Lili’s laughter followed him halfway across the yard.

At the gym, Hope was on a mat on the ground, doing crunches, her pretty face screwed into an angry knot. Shame slammed into his gut. His behavior had hurt her tremendously. Now he knew. Hope was like him. Putting on a show, playing big to hide how small she felt inside. And maybe to hide how scared she was to lose the first thing that’s meant something to her in a long time. 

He took a breath and grabbed the other mat, placing it beside hers. Hope’s lips pinched together but she didn’t say anything. He made a lot of groaning noises and grumbles as he got on the ground and began doing crunches as well, attempting to match her speed. She looked sideways at him and quickened her pace. He sped up as well. After a minute or two, she added leg lifts to her crunches. 

Seriously? He pulled his legs up and did the same. He glanced over and there was a tiny smirk at the corner of her mouth as she added side twists. He groaned and copied her. After many many many reps, she abruptly turned over and started doing push-ups. The second-most hated of all ups. He turned over and followed along, but after what felt like a thousand of them, he dropped to the mat and pounded on it with his fist. “I give!” he wheezed. 

“Thank god.” She collapsed and rolled over, catching her breath. “I don’t think I had one more in me.”

He laughed through his asphyxiation and flipped onto his back. She smiled and patted his stomach. 

They both sat up and looked around the yard. Someone had found a bunch of pool inflatables and there was a race going on. Lucas was speeding by on a yellow ducky, with Noah right behind him on a colorful narwhal. Priya’s frantic paddling made her fall off her seahorse, and she took Marisol—on an inflatable avocado—down with her. Jakub blew a whistle and announced Lucas the victor. Rahim, coming in just behind Noah, didn’t look bothered about losing, though as he floated by on what looked like a rasher of bacon, he shoved Lucas off his duck.

Hope snickered and shook her head, suddenly looking sad. 

“Why don’t we go join them?” he asked. 

“Oh. No. I’m… I’m not in the mood.”

“You look like you want to.”

She reached up and adjusted the haphazard pile of braids on top of her head. “I’m alright. They’re done anyhow.” Her gaze was on Noah. He climbed out of the pool and grabbed his towel, throwing it over his head to dry his hair. He headed toward the kitchen and bumped into Lili. He stared at her, his face grave, then backed away as if she were a live grenade and headed for the villa. 

Hope’s brow furrowed. “What was that about?”

He kept his voice casual. “She yelled at him and he’s salty about it.”

“Yelled? At Noah?” 

“Aye. It was something. She called him an obstinate robot and told him to give you space to feel your feelings.”

Hope shook her head and laughed. “My poor robot man.” She picked at the grass poking up over the edge of the mat, her smile drifting away with the breeze. “Sweet as that is, if you came over here to tell me to get over it and make friends with her agai—”

“Nah. You two will either work it out or you won’t.” He rolled to his feet. “It’s just been a few days since you smiled. We’ve all missed it.” He held a hand out to her. “Come on, I’ll get you a cupcake.” She stared at his hand a moment. Then she grabbed it and let him hoist her up. 

In the kitchen, he plated a cupcake and slid it over. 

“Oh, that’s cute,” she said, jabbing her finger at the otters. “So, you two are still going strong?”

He gave a shiny grin. “Strong as otters!” 

She looked at him for a long moment, as if she could see through all his shite, and he suddenly understood where her personality intersected with Lili’s. 

“Everything’s fine,” he said. It wasn’t a complete lie. They’d had some lovely banter and loud sex. It was the start of fine. 

Hope raised an eyebrow at him and took a bite of the cupcake. “Oh my days, that is sinful.” She ate it slowly and he made her a brew to wash it down. Licking the tines of the fork, she sat it on the now empty plate. Her contented sigh perked him up.

“You know—” She pinned him with her dark eyes. “No offence, but I tried to change Lili’s mind about you. It was impossible.”

He already knew that, though it was a glancing blow to hear it said aloud. “Just wanted me for yourself, did you?” He winked at her and she laughed. 

“It wasn’t personal. I just thought you weren’t serious about her—or anything else. She deserves someone who takes her seriously.” 

“I take her seriously.” The sun was blazing into the kitchen and he ran his hands over the warm countertop. “I don’t have much to offer her. Not money or anything like that. And I know she’s way too good for me, but…” He chased the light with his fingertips. “She’s my dream.”

Hope threw her head back and laughed. “You melt! It almost sounds like you’re in love with her.” She looked at him and he swallowed. Her smile fell away. “Are you?”

He forced a laugh. “Nah. Anyway, there’s a few cupcakes left if you want another.” He spun on his heel, forcing himself to walk and not run from what Hope said. From that persistent neon word flashing over and over in his head, demanding to be acknowledged and spoken aloud. He shoved it down with all his other outsized emotions. One thing at a time.

Lili was stretched out on her stomach on one of the daybeds, her eyes closed. On the other bed, Chelsea was regaling Lucas and Marisol with a story about… crocheted pillow covers? Marisol barely looked interested and Lucas’s eyes kept wandering to Lili’s lush ass on display in her black bikini. 

Bobby pushed aside his annoyance at that, and wandered over, tickling the bottom of Lili’s foot. She jerked and opened her sleepy brown eyes. “Hey babe.” She flipped onto her side and gestured for him to join her. 

He climbed in behind her. “Are you feeling alright?”

She yawned. “Eh. I had cupcakes for breakfast, and I think I’m crashing. Also, I’m feeling sort of _ blah _, you know?” 

“Yeah, I do.” He pushed her hair aside and kissed her neck, very aware of Lucas’s eyes on them. “Can I be blah with you?” 

She nodded. “Yeah. Let’s be blah together. He cuddled closer, wrapping an arm around her. After a few minutes of cuddling, the others ambled away, leaving them alone. 

Now. He had to ask her now. 

He kissed her ear. “I want to talk to you about something.”

“Hmm?” 

“I know you’re not sure about us like you were before, and that’s my fault. Because the truth is, I was—I am—scared of how much I care about you.” He let the quiet words spill out, too nervous to edit them in his head. “I never thought I’d be lucky enough to be with a girl like you. You’re amazing and I can’t imagine being with anyone else. Here or outside the villa. What we have is more than special and I want you to know how serious I am about it. I want to make this a proper thing. Official, I mean. Will you be my girlfriend?”

She didn’t say anything. Panic rose up and slammed into him. What did that mean? 

“Lass?” He shook her shoulder gently. A soft snore cut through the silence.

“I should have seen that coming, eh?” She murmured something he couldn’t make out and turned over, burying her face in his chest, her breaths quiet and even, punctuated by an occasional snore. 

Well, it could have gone better. Could have gone worse, but definitely could have gone better. He laughed quietly to himself. It was a good practice run, though. If he could do it once, he could do it again.

Stroking her jaw, he breathed in her mingled scents of shea butter and strawberry citrus perfume. She was so lovely, inside and out. He could barely restrain the tempest of violent vibrant colour, battering him from the inside as he looked at her. Demanding to be felt. To be heard. And for once, he didn’t fight the storm. 

“You’re the only girl for me, Lil,” he whispered. “I knew it from the moment I met you. And I’m going to tell you that soon.”

He kissed her forehead and reveled in the downpour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all my readers who have stuck with me. Sorry the delay. The world is imploding, my life is extremely stressful, and writing was just...not fun. But I persevered! 
> 
> If you like what I do, leave me kudos or a comment or tweet me @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are my preferred currencies. 💖
> 
> And as always, thank you to Prim and Jolene for being the fucking best people whom I love muchly. And thank you to Curry for being the sweetest best Kitty Girl in the world. And for making me give Zepeto another try. Thank you to TashieCake for being amazing, making me a cover, commiserating with me over naughty artwork, and being so damned generous and kind. I know I'm forgetting people but this chapter broke my brain. Assume if we've talked, that I adore you.


	35. Baby, Look Up the Sky is Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lili is ding, Bobby is a neurotic mess, almost everyone gets dirty, and Hurricane Priya shakes things up.

“What about ‘Jaffa Cake’?” Rahim asked. 

“I love Jaffa Cakes!” Chelsea trilled.

“I dunno. Define it,” Bobby said, resting beside Rahim. It was a brutally hot day, and a group of them had gathered on the daybeds to escape the early afternoon sun. They’d been brainstorming a new bit of joke slang to try out on Jakub to see if he’d start using it. A man who ironed his socks that often was in desperate need of a prank.

Rahim scratched at his curated beard stubble. “Like someone who seems to be one thing but they’re really another. You’re on the pull and you meet someone who seems like a simple biscuit, but then you get to know them and find out they’re actually a delicious cake. Like, ‘That bird’s a proper Jaffa Cake.’”

“I like the baked goods tie-in, but it lacks a certain… panache.” He held up a finger. “Oh! ‘Panache’?” 

Lili, stretched out on her stomach at the end of the bed, tickled his toes. He squealed and curled up into a protective ball. “Woman!” 

She laughed. “You can do better than ‘panache’, babe.”

“We’ve been at this for so loooong!” Lottie said from the other bed. “What are the contenders again?”

“‘Homebrew’ was pretty good,” Gary said, cuddled up behind her. 

Sitting cross-legged on the other side of Lottie, Chelsea raised her hand as if she were in school. “I liked ‘al dente’! That one’s fun to say.”

“No.” Lili shook her head. “I think Bobby had it right earlier. ‘Ding’ is the winner.”

He grinned at her. “It _ is _ the sexiest of all notification sounds.”

“What’s that one mean again?” Gary asked.

“It’s like, when you hear the sound, you can’t ignore it,” he said. “You have to check your phone. So if someone is irresistibly sexy, you’ll be like, ‘Pal, she’s ding’. It’s such a satisfying sound too. Like… _ ding. _” He raised his eyebrows. “Am I right or am I right?”

Marisol frowned. “Outside the villa, what kind of monsters are going around without their phones on silent? I don’t want to hear you dinging.”

“You’d silence the sexiness of the ding?” He winked at her. “I think I know who the real monster is.” 

“Ding,” Gary said. “Yeah, that’s bants.”

“Ding! Ding! Ding!” Chelsea chanted. 

Lottie bopped her in the head with a pillow. “It’s top secret, remember?”

“Sorrrrry,” she giggled.

Rahim stood and stretched. “Anyone want to work out?” 

There was a collective groan and Marisol shook her head vigorously. “The pool sounds better.”

Everyone started to disperse. Gary knelt low in front of Lottie. “Lotta, hop on, I’ll give you a ride to the pool.”

She raised a suspicious eyebrow. “If you drop me in the water, I will hex you from here to forever.”

He grinned. “I would never.”

“Okay. I’m trusting you.”

Bobby grabbed Lili’s hand and started jogging. She laughed as he yanked her to the edge of the pool.

“Did we just exercise?” she asked. 

“As far as I’m concerned, we did.” He turned to look at her and his breathing nearly stopped. Her curls were falling out of her messy hair buns and her smile was wide and warm. She looked like an angel, glowing in the afternoon light. 

_ Ask her. Ask her now. While she’s awake. _

He opened his mouth, just as a Gary shaped blur raced by, with Lottie on its back, screaming. “Don’t you dare, you dickhead!” 

The blur hit the cold water with the force of an explosive. An icy geyser shot out and hit everyone within a yard. 

Bobby dodged most of it, but Lili was soaked. “Ya fucking blert!” she shout-laughed at Gary as water streamed down her face. 

“Sorry!” Gary waved, looking proud of himself, even as Lottie tried to get him into a chokehold so she could drown him.

“Stay here, lass. I’ll get you a towel.” He raced to the villa and back and wrapped her in an oversized beach towel, pushing the wilted curls off her face. “I reckon you look totally ding.” 

She laughed as he led her to the bean bags, which were the only seats that weren’t soaked with chlorinated water. Nervousness overwhelmed him, so he let his mouth flap about. “Sun, pool, and AstroTurf. The good life, right?”

“Innit! But it’s not just any kind of pool.”

“It’s an infinity pool,” he said. “That part’s important. Ever stayed at a rental home with an infinity pool? It properly ramps the price up. What’s so special about them?”

She used the towel to squeeze the water from her hair. “Well, it’s pushed up against the ledge.”

He paused and considered that. “I do like a good ledge. I guess it’s like those rainfall showers. There’s barely any difference, but everyone goes wild for them.” Why the hell was he talking about pool ledges and rainfall showers? _ For fucks sake. Tell her what you feel. _ “Um, you ever thought about…” She looked at him with expectant eyes and he lost his words. “About um...sunflowers?”

She snorted. “What about them?”

“Like, I’m not that short, right? But I see a sunflower, and I’m like… Damn, son. That flower is bigger than I am. The flower is winning, and I’m losing.” He closed his eyes. Jesus. He was monologuing on national telly about the height of sunflowers instead of asking the most wonderful girl in the world to be his girlfriend. Even after he died, his friends would never stop roasting him about it. 

When he opened his eyes, Lili was staring at him with a bemused expression. “Mate, you are so not ready to hear about trees.”

His tension eased as he laughed. How did she always know just what to say? Taking a deep breath, he reached for her hand and slid his fingers between hers. “Lil, I need to ask you something. It’s important.”

She sat up straighter. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, no. Everything is fine. It’s just…” He clamped his mouth shut. Fuck. Fear was running through his veins hotter than lava, burning his courage to ash. The right words, the words he’d said just a few hours ago, kept disintegrating before they could touch his tongue and he had no idea how long he’d been sitting there frowning at her while he tried to summon more. He had to do it. Now. Right now. “Um, you’re just so… and I…” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I know things are… but I want to—”

The ping of her phone made him open his eyes. She looked at it and cast a worried glance at him, before sitting it screen down on her lap. “Don’t worry about that. It can wait a moment, babe. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

He loved the way she always did that. Made him her focus. The most important thing in her world. He squeezed her hand tighter. “Sorry. I really want us to be—”

Her phone rang shrilly, making him wince. The producers made it extremely unpleasant to ignore the texts, that’s why they dropped everything for them.

Noah and Rahim wandered over. “Was that your phone, Lili?” Rahim asked.

He pushed past the surge of frustration that bubbled inside of him and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “Go ahead and answer it. I… I thought I had a good joke, but it didn’t come together.”

She gave him a concerned look, but her phone blared again, and she sighed. “We’ll talk in a bit, yeah?” He nodded and she cupped her hands around her mouth. “Guys, I’ve got a text!”

He slumped down in the beanbag chair as the other islanders rushed over, crowding round to peek at her screen. “‘Islanders, get ready to find out who scrubs up and who’s ready to dish the dirt. Time for today’s challenge. #getthoseskeletonsout.’”

“Oooh, dirty secrets?” Chelsea clapped her hands together. “This will be so fun!” 

“Will it?” Noah looked anxious all of a sudden.

Lili stood and grabbed his hand. “Come on, babe.” They headed for the challenge stage and she threaded her fingers through his. “Do you want to talk about what’s on your mind?”

He was too wound up now. Too anxious, too afraid. But dammit, he _ would _do it. Just not right then, all rushed between activities. “Nah. Maybe later.”

“Okay.” She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. 

At the challenge stage there were two slides set up in front of inflatable pools. One was full of soapy bubbles and sponges. The other was full of thick mud. Jakub stared into the mud pool and wrinkled his already upturned nose. “That’s ding.”

“You’re still using it wrong, mate.” Rahim shook his head sadly. “Mud ain’t ding.”

Jakub’s cheeks flushed. “Yeah, I know that. I was using it ironically, like.” Bobby almost felt bad for the guy, but then he remembered what an ass he was to Priya on their date. And the way he ogled Lili every chance he got.

“You can’t be ironic about ding,” he said. 

“It’s a shame about the mud,” Lili said, pointing at her glorious curves in the simple black bikini that made his pulse accelerate. “This outfit was ding.”

“You’re always ding, Lil,” he said. 

“Aw thanks babe!” 

Jakub exchanged an uncertain glance between the both of them, saying nothing. Wanker.

Priya got a text explaining the challenge. Two piles of envelopes on the dais held secrets about their fellow islanders. Choose to open one and read the secret aloud and you had to take a mud bath. Resist temptation and keep it sealed, and the person whose secret remained inside, had to get handsy and wash you in the soapy clean water. 

“Bring it on!” his competitive girl said, pumping her fist. 

They lined up, boys facing girls. The first couple secrets were more cute than dirty. When it was his turn, his envelope said, ‘Lottie’. 

“If you open it, you’ll have less chance of winning the challenge,” Hope said. 

“And you have to get covered in mud,” Lottie reminded him. “Just saying.”

Lili was biting her lip and he could see in her eyes how much she wanted to win. He usually played along with her competitive streak, but this was just too much fun. He gave her an apologetic look. “Sorry Lil, I can’t resist.” 

She groaned but gestured for him to go ahead. He grinned and tore open the envelope. “Titanic, Little Women, and The Secret Garden make Lottie cry every time.”

Everyone stared at the tough, witchy Aussie. She lifted her chin. “Yeah.”

Lili nodded. “Same, to be honest.”

Without anyone saying he had to, Bobby clambered up the ladder and slid down. “Geronimo!” he yelled, flying into the mud. It felt amazingly awful. He stood up and helicoptered his arms, sending splatters of mud flying. Everyone screamed and ducked for cover. He returned to the line leaving a trail of muddy footprints on the deck. 

Next, Lili’s phone beeped. She picked up an envelope with Lucas’s name on it. She held the envelope for a moment, then placed it down. 

“Aw, boooo!” he called out. “Open it!”

“I wanna win!” she said. 

“You’re keeping my secret?” Lucas gave her a slimy smile. “This means I can wash you if you want.” 

Lili shook her head as she got back in the queue. “I’m clean enough right now.” 

She was the best girl. 

The stack of envelopes grew shorter and soon it was Lili’s turn again. She held up an envelope that said ‘Bobby’ on it. 

“Oh, please please open it,” he said. 

She smacked it against her palm. “I mean we’re not winning anyhow.” 

“Yessssss.”

“But…”

“Boooooo,” he called out. 

“But if I don’t open it...you have to wash me.”

He paused. “When you put it like that, it’s a win for me, isn’t it?” 

She sat the envelope down. “I just remembered that I’m in terrible need of a scrubbing after the Great Gary Cannonball.”

“So, it’s really a win for all of us then,” Gary shouted. “You’re all welcome.” Lottie elbowed him.

Lili grinned and climbed the ladder, giving her bum an extra swish before she went down the slide, splashing into the clean sudsy water. She looked behind her at him as she twisted the sponge out over her head, sending the water cascading down her face and body. 

Mmmm. He slid down, landing behind her with a thump, sending water flying everywhere.

She handed him a sponge. “Lather me up, babes.”

“Oooh I like that word, lather. Lathhhhhher.” He wasted no time in making a spectacle. He squeezed soapy water down her back and front and got up on his knees above her, so he could get a good view of her bikini-clad breasts swaying softly as rivulets of white soap trailed between them. Groaning quietly, he wrapped his arms around her and scrubbed her stomach. She tilted her head and looked up at him smiling, and he couldn’t resist a quick kiss. 

Everyone hooted and hollered through it, but the only sounds that truly registered were Lili’s quiet sighs of pleasure. Glancing down, he could see that her nipples were hard and straining against the bikini. She was turned on by their little exhibition. 

Jesus, she was perfect for him. 

He gripped her hips and pulled her further up onto her knees. He was pressed tightly against her and he knew she could feel his cock against her ass. He took great care scrubbing her thighs. So much so, that he was certain, never in the history of the world had any woman have such clean thighs. The whole time, he was nuzzling her ear, softly whispering the things he wanted to do to her and surreptitiously rubbing himself against her. She reached up and guided his head to turn toward her and she kissed him. 

It wasn’t a quick kiss. 

It blazed hotter than the sun bearing down on them. His arms tightened around her and he had to force himself not to cup her breasts. Not to pull on her nipples and bite her neck and pull aside her bikini so he could fuck her right there in front of everyone.

“Didn’t you two get enough of that earlier?” Priya’s wry voice cut through his fantasy. 

“Apparently not,” Marisol said. “And I for one am not unhappy about it.”

Hope snickered beside her. “Enough foreplay, you two um, er...”

“Lust goblins!” Marisol shouted. 

“Yeah, get outta there, you lust goblins!” Hope said with a smile, her ire at Lili seeming temporarily forgotten. 

He groaned in her ear, making her shiver, and leaned to reach for the towels. With a little maneuvering he was able to get it tied around his waist. It didn’t fully hide his raging stauner, but it was better than nothing. 

Lili stood and water sparkled in the sun as it trailed off her body. Fuck. He toweled her off and pressed a kiss to her shoulder before helping her out of the pool and getting back in the queue. 

“I know I keep saying it, but Jesus, you’re a lucky fuck,” Gary murmured, beside him. 

He couldn’t help the grin that stole over his face. “Aye, I know.”

Lucas flexed his sizable pectorals and rolled his eyes. A better man wouldn’t have smirked at him. 

Bobby wasn’t a better man. 

Lucas scowled in response before crossing the stage to take his turn. 

The rest of the game passed in a blur. Marisol got an envelope with his name on it and she gleefully tore it open. “Bobby believed in Nessie until he was thirteen,” she read, her eyebrows rising by the word. “You’re literally from Scotland. How did you believe in the Loch Ness Monster until you were thirteen?” 

“Don’t talk about her like she’s not real. She’ll get offended.” Everyone snickered, except Lili, which he appreciated. He was only half-serious, but he did rather like the idea of her existing. 

Priya’s phone chimed, letting them know that the challenge was over. Lottie and Gary were the only couple who hadn’t read a single secret. They won themselves a night in the Hideaway. 

Lili gave him a pointed look. That could have been theirs if he hadn’t wanted to know everyone’s secrets. “Oops.” He folded his hands into the shape of a heart. “Forgive me?”

“I’ll think about it,” she said, looping her arm around his. 

Half of them were muddy and half sparkling clean as they made their way to the garden. The mood was upbeat, probably because there’d been no fighting. All throughout the game Hope and Noah had been as relaxed and playful as they were in the first couple days in the villa. And now they were holding hands and laughing. Clearly they’d worked out their anger and made up. Which meant peace in the villa. He breathed out a happy sigh. 

“Look what I’ve got!” Chelsea squealed. She ran toward them waving a handful of envelopes over her head. “Who wants to see what they say?”

“Isn’t that against the rules of the challenge?” Marisol asked, flicking mud off her shoulder. 

“The challenge is _ over _ babes. It’s secret time.” She gave a wiggle of joy and shuffled through the envelopes. Everyone cast bemused glances at each other, as she one by one, passed out the secrets to be read aloud. Most of them were still more humorous than dirty, including a particularly mortifying one about a gas attack Bobby had as a teenager. Thank god Lili thought it was funny. 

“There were too many neeps in the Rumbledethumps!” he said, over her giggles. “It could have happened to anyone!” 

“What the...” Lottie shook her head. “You know what, I don’t even want to know what that means.”

While Chelsea continued with the secrets, Lili stood in front of him and leaned against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed the side of her neck, breathing in the commingled scents of chlorine, soap, and the faintest remainder of her sexy-cookie perfume. Now was the time. 

“Do you want to maybe sneak away for a bit?” he whispered.

She looked up at him, her eyes sparkling. “Absolutely.” 

He took her hand and quietly backed away from the group.

“Oh no, you’re not leaving now, are you?” Chelsea chirped. “Because I just found this!” She raced toward them and slapped an envelope into his hand. “It’s a Lili secret!” 

Dammit to hell. He stared at the envelope. 

Lili sighed. “It’s probably stupid.”

“But, now I’m curious. What dirty secret could you be hiding?”

“None,” she said. “I don’t really like keeping secrets.”

“There must be something interesting in here.” He stared at the envelope, wildly curious. But adrenaline was whooshing through his veins. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be more important than asking her to be his girlfriend. He handed it back to Chelsea and wrapped an arm around Lili’s waist. “I’ll pass. I know everything I need to know about her.”

“Aww.” Lottie pulled a face. “Why are you two so gross?”

Chelsea shrugged and tore the envelope open before they could escape. She began to vibrate with excitement. “OMG! You’re gonna want to know this! Lili you heartbreaker!”

Lili’s brow furrowed and she stared at Chelsea in confusion. “What?”

“Well, come on then, what’s it say?” Gary leaned over Chelsea’s shoulder. 

“‘Lili’s not one to brag, but she once dated—”

“Oh god.” Lili lunged for the card, but Chelsea smiled wide and pulled it out of her reach. “‘Once dated Scottish megastar…” She paused for dramatic affect. “Oliver Craig!’”

“_ The _Oliver Craig?” Priya asked, looking gobsmacked. 

“It was just a few dates.” Her cheeks went crimson. “I don’t even know how the show found out about that!” 

Just a few dates. With one of the biggest pop stars in the world. 

Chelsea shook the card. “There’s more! Let me see. Scottish Megas—Oliver Crai—ah! ‘It turns out she’s quite the muse, as the biggest heartache single of the year was written about her.”

With great force of will, he didn’t allow his mouth to hang open. Everyone else gave in to it, their jaws slack.

“Noooo,” Hope said. “‘The One Who Got Away’ is about you?”

She covered her face in her hands. “Yeah. But it was just a silly crush for us both. It never amounted to anything but snogging. The song’s a bit of an exaggeration, like.”

Bobby swallowed past the icy lump in his throat. He didn’t like Oliver’s minging music before, and even less so knowing he’d snogged Lili. And probably put his hands on her too, stroking her back, cupping her bum. Whispering sweet nothings in her ear with his smooth-bastard Edinburgh accent.

Hope hummed a few bars. “How does it go?”

“Oh no,” Lili said. “Don’t.” 

Noah stepped forward. “‘Like honey on my tongue,’” he sang, in a surprisingly melodic baritone. “‘One taste, then you were gone.’” 

Lili’s eyes widened. “That’s about kissing, I swear! I hate that line!” 

“‘Oh, the one who got away,’” Hope joined in, her voice smooth as warm caramel. “‘But time must fly, I miss the way she’d say hello, I hate the way she said goodbye.’” Hope collapsed against Noah laughing and he gave her a fond squeeze. 

“Oh my god, please stop!” Lili said, laughing. “That song follows me everywhere!”

Lucas’s brow furrowed. “Do you still talk to him?”

She hesitated. “Um, sometimes. He’s a mate now, living the high life. But we do keep in touch.”

“Does he still loooooove you?” Priya asked.

“No! He never… He’s just a friend!”

A prickling sensation made its way through Bobby’s body, like the first hint of frost bite. It was bad enough fighting off the villa guys who wanted Lili. But a handsome Scottish millionaire with fancy cars, who’d written Lili a love song? How the hell was he supposed to compete with that?

“Why didn’t you lock that down?” Priya asked. “Rich famous guys aren’t as easy to catch as you’d think.”

“I wouldn’t go out with someone because of that. Anyway, he wasn’t rich or famous when we met. He was a busker.” She twisted her hands together. “But he got a record deal and a tour. With my busy schedule and the distance, it seemed best if we just stayed friends and nothing more. It was never exclusive. Just two months and a handful of dates. He’s dramatically romantic about the whole thing, but truth be told, we barely knew each other, like.”

Two months. Bobby chewed on those words like gristle. Two months and a handful of dates. That was more than what they had. A lot more. He peeled apart everything she’d said. Dramatically romantic. Busy schedule. Distance. Barely knew each other. 

Is that what she’d say about him once he returned to Glasgow and she went back to Merseyside? 

“Well if you don’t want him, pass him on to one of us,” Priya said with a smirk. Rahim glared at her and pinched his lips together. 

Chelsea’s big blue eyes ping-ponged between everyone as she held up another envelope. “These secrets are so fun! Oooh! This one is about Noah!” 

Noah froze and his eyes darted anxiously from the envelope to Hope and back again. “I think we’re all done, Chelsea,” he said gravely. 

“What? Why?” Hope said, laughing. “You’ve told me your secrets!” 

“I just think this isn’t… going to be productive.”

Hope’s smile wavered. “What does it say?”

Noah pressed his fingers to his temples. “Why does it matter?”

“Maybe I shouldn’t read it,” Chelsea said.

Hope, never taking her eyes off Noah, crossed her arms. “Read it.”

“I can’t say no to my girls.” Chelsea sighed and pulled the card out. “It says, ‘Noah dated a girl for an entire year, when he wanted to break up after one month. He’d hoped that she would eventually dump him, but she never did. He might still be dating her if she hadn’t moved all the way to Newcastle.” 

Hope’s velvety skin turned ashen.

“Don’t make this a big deal,” Noah said. 

“Don’t make this…” Hope stared at him. “How can you say it’s not a big deal?” Her voice was tight and quiet. “Is this what you’ve been doing with me?”

“No. You’re being ridiculous.”

“So you keep telling me.” Hope whole body shook. “How long have you wanted to pie me off?”

“I—I don’t.”

“I mean, you sort of do,” Priya said, sounding amused. She stepped forward, arms crossed over her ample chest. “Right?”

“Priya—” Noah said, a warning in his voice. “Don’t.”

“I’m saying it. Obviously, you have a history of not ending things, so let’s get it out in the open so you can both be happier.” She spun toward Hope. “Noah told me this morning that he was thinking of picking someone else at the next recoupling.”

Everything went silent, as if a blinding vein of lightning had lit the summer sky above them, and now they all waited for a violent thunder to follow.

“You’re choosing Priya?” Hope said through clenched teeth. 

“It’s actually between me and someone else.” Priya swung her gaze toward Lili. “You can all guess who.”

Lili stiffened beside him. “Hope I swear, I didn’t know—”

Hope held up a hand and turned to Noah. “When were you planning on telling me about this?” 

Noah lifted his chin. “As soon as I decided what I wanted to do. But for the record, I never said I was going to choose either of them. Just that I was… thinking about it. I didn’t want to mess up what we have over something I wasn’t sure about.”

She laughed bitterly. “You’re waaaaay beyond messing things up, babe.”

“It was just a conversation. It’s not like I _ kissed _ her,” he said, acid dripping from the words. 

Lucas took a step forward. “Hey, that wasn’t her fault, that was on me.”

“He knows what it was,” she hissed. “I’m—” Rage and hurt, all jumbled together, flashed in her eyes. “I’m done with this.” She turned and marched toward the kitchen. 

“Dammit.” Noah scrubbed a hand over his face and chased after her.

Everyone stared at Priya and she shrugged. “Someone had to say it.” 

“And it had to be you, didn’t it?” Lili asked softly. For a moment, she studied Priya like a specimen under a microscope. Without another word she turned and marched toward the villa, her usually graceful gait rigid. 

He followed behind her. In the bedroom, she dropped heavily onto their bed and stared at the ceiling, taking slow breaths. 

“‘Ohhh, the one who got awaaaay,’” he sang, as he sat next to her.

Her chest rose and fell with a laugh and she smacked him in the arm. “Shut it.” Her hand intertwined with his. “That went downhill fast, didn’t it?”

“Like an avalanche.” He kissed her shoulder. “How are you doing?”

Her mouth pinched up. “I’m frustrated and… a little angry. I resent my name being dragged into that mess. Noah never talked to me about it, and if he had, I would have told him absolutely not.” Her troubled eyes found his. “Not just because of Hope, but I don’t want—” She frowned. “Never mind. I can’t think right now.” He sensed there was more and didn’t say anything. Just squeezed her hand and waited. 

“And Priya…” she huffed out an angry sigh. “She did that on purpose.”

“She does love drama,” he said.

“It was more than that. She could have handled it a dozen different ways, and yeah, it’s not shocking that she’d choose the one that causes the most drama. But she didn’t have to bring me up at all.”

He sat back and tried to follow her logic. “I don’t understand.”

“I think Priya is trying to… to come between us, like.”

“Lass, I told you that I don’t want Pri—”

“No. I mean, I know. But she likes you.”

“Course she does, she’s my friend. I know the last few days have been tough and Priya’s been a part of that, but she’s not trying to steal me away. We wouldn’t even be together if it weren’t for her.”

Lili’s brow furrowed. “What does that mean?”

“When Priya was deciding who to choose, she saw that you and I had sparks. We talked about it more than once.” He stroked his thumb over her lips. “She picked Rahim, because she knew how much I wanted to be with you.” He tilted her chin up and kissed her. 

She softened for a moment and then broke away gently. “That’s quite sweet actually. But that was also day two. You don’t think her feelings could have changed? She isn’t happy with Rahim. You’re the only one she really gets on with. And…” She bit her lip. “I don’t want to bring this up, but she _ was _ going to kiss you on the terrace the other night.”

“She didn’t go anywhere near my terrace,” he said. She didn’t look amused and he shifted, feeling uncomfortable in his skin. “Sorry. I hear you, I do. Priya’s a little destructive and I—” He rolled his tense shoulders. “Yes. She was making a move. But she was just looking for some kind of ego boost. It’s not because she has feelings for me. She’s looking for the total package, Lil. Looks. Charm. Money. I only have one and a half of those.”

“Stop it.” Lili rubbed her hands over her eyes. “Maybe I’m going crazy.”

“No! You’re not. She’s been acting off for days, but I’m pure positive that it’s not because of me."

“Bobby, you don’t see yourself the way other people do.” She shook her head. “You think you’re some kind of, I don’t know… some kind of consolation prize, when you’re really the big win. No matter how mixed up I’m feeling right now, I meant what I said earlier. You are gorgeous inside and out. Smart. Funny. Sexy. And you spend most of your energy making everyone else feel cared for. You _ are _the total package. Priya sees that just like I do. She’s not stupid.”

He studied her dark serious eyes and swallowed. Every time he thought he’d caught his balance, she tipped him sideways. Blinded him. Made him dizzy and scared of never having this feeling again. She made him want to be the guy she was describing. God, he needed her in his life. 

“Lil…” He tried to speak but the words wouldn’t come. His frustration throbbed like a heartbeat. Growling, he kissed her. She gave a squeak of surprise and then wound her arms around his neck. The kiss went on for a beautiful eternity. It didn’t require words or spilling his soul. He sucked on her lower lip and she whimpered. He loved how that sound was his. How in these moments, she was his. His heart. His world. 

She broke away and smiled. “What was it you wanted to talk about earlier, babe?” 

Without answering, he tilted her head back and kissed her neck, sucking on the delicate skin there. He had no idea what to say. Finding out about Oliver Craig had melted his courage like a snowflake in the summer sun. All along he’d been terrified that Lili would say no. But now… what if she said yes? Eventually they would be leaving the villa and returning to their busy lives. What if time and distance and mad schedules destroyed them, until all they had left were memories and sleepless nights and heartache? He’d be more alone than ever before, lost in the shadows without her light. 

He’d be just another dramatically romantic eejit who fell for the girl who got away.

“Bobby?” 

“Hmm?” He had no idea how long he’d been sitting there with his lips pressed to her pulse, lost in thought. 

“What did you want to talk about?”

He forced a laugh. “I don’t even remember now.”

“You said it was important.”

He slid his hand into her still-wet hair and kissed her. “Must not have been.”

She pulled back, her eyes full of concern. “Whatever it is, you can talk to me about it.”

“I know.” He had to get her off the subject. Putting a gentle hand on her chest, he pushed her back onto the bed, and then trailed his fingers down her stomach and lower, stroking through her wet bikini. She gasped and arched into his touch. 

“I’m allowed to explore my options!” Noah’s voice cut through the silky tension between them like a dagger and they jerked apart.

Hope stormed into the bedroom, her face still streaked with mud from the challenge, Noah hot on her heels. “Whatever,” she said. “Go explore them, then.” 

“Will you stop walking away? I want to talk about this.”

“Then you should have talked to me before talking to fucking Priya!” Hope shouted. “You humiliated me!”

Lili grabbed Bobby’s hand and looked at him with huge eyes. He looked for an escape but there wasn’t one. Hope and Noah were blocking the only way out, and they seemed oblivious to their trapped audience.

“I didn’t know Priya was going to do that!” Noah threw his arms out. “That’s not on me. I would never have embarrassed you in public.”

“No.” She spun and put her hands on her hips. “Of course not. But in private you’d tell Priya you were thinking about switching, and then a few hours later you’d shag me senseless.” She jabbed a finger at their bed. “How could you?”

Noah took a step backward and swallowed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t… think of it like that. This place is—it’s making me…” He shoved his hands through his hair. “I—I want this to work. I think you’re amazing. But things were getting so bad with us and I just wondered if they should really be this difficult. And then this afternoon it felt like you weren’t pushing me away for once. I… I got caught in the moment.”

“Caught in the moment. Right.” Hope’s breath hitched and she reached into her cubby and pulled out a handful of clothing. Tears trickled down her face and she swiped them away angrily with her free hand. Tucking the clothes under one arm, she shoved past him, and headed upstairs. 

“Hope, wait...” Noah turned and followed her. 

In the sudden silence, Lili’s hand shook in his. The whole thing was too much for anyone, but for someone who’d grown up with people yelling and swearing and hurting everyone around them, it was far too much to handle. He knew because he was shaking too. 

He pulled her trembling hands up and kissed them. “Come on, lass, let’s get out of here.”

She nodded and followed him outside. The sun was making its way to the horizon, taking some of the heat with it. Despite the cooler breeze, most everyone was in the frigid pool, staying far away from the Battle of Nope, so the beanbags were empty. He sat on the yellow one and patted his leg. Lili slid onto his lap and rested her head on his shoulder, her body quaking. 

“Poor Hope,” she whispered. “I can’t believe Noah would do that to her.” He stroked her hair and she looked up at him. “I know it’s not about me, but I feel so guilty. I’m the one who encouraged them to keep fighting for something that I knew was broken.” Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “I just wanted them to be happy.”

He squeezed her tight. “None of this is your fault. You did what a good friend would do. You told them to follow their hearts. Where their hearts led them isn't your responsibility.” 

She was quiet at that, playing with his hair, twisting his locs around her fingers. Finally, she sighed, and he felt the tension leave her body. “There’s something I don’t understand. Why would Noah tell Priya of all people? Everyone knows she can’t keep a secret.”

“I’m sure that’s why he went to her and not you. Give the secret to the person most likely to spill it and it spares him the trouble. Priya is willing to say what everyone else can’t. Anyway, it proves a theory of mine.”

“Oh, I like it when you theorize.”

He nuzzled the top of her head. “I know this will sound dafty, but I think Priya and Noah would make a great couple. A better one anyway.” She gave him a skeptical look. “Hear me out,” he said. “Priya will say what he’s afraid to say. She’s as bold as Hope, which he likes, but she’s less...touchy and intense. She’d pull him out of his shell without overwhelming him and in return he’d keep her grounded.”

Lili thought a moment. “That… that actually makes sense. I don’t know why I couldn’t see that. And Hope would do better with someone more fun and confident, like. Someone more ambitious.”

“Exactly.” He stroked her hair. “A guy who makes her feel proper safe when she’s insecure. That’s not Noah.”

“Why are you so good at this?”

“I dunno. But my mates don’t call me the Champion Matchmaker of Glasgow for nothing.” 

She smacked a playful hand on his chest. “They do not.”

“I swear it. I’ve been the best man in so many weddings, I have a rainbow collection of kilts.” 

“Mmm,” she said.

“You’re picturing me in a kilt right now, aren’t you?”

“No.”

He shook his head. “You're a terrible liar.”

“I really am.” Her laugh was warm against his skin. “So Champion matchmaker, huh?”

“Aye.”

She ran a tickling finger along his jaw. “What kind of person do I need?”

He sat up and studied her. “Turn your head.” She followed his instruction. He spun his fingers counterclockwise. “Now the other direction.” She turned the other way, her lips quirking. “Hmm, yes.” He stroked an invisible beard and jutted out his lower lip. “You’re a tough one. Let me see your hand.” She held it up and he traced the long line that creased her palm. “Ah, here it is. You definitely need someone funny. And loyal.”

“I do. I really do.”

“He should be hard working and care about others.”

“An absolute must.”

“Clearly he’s got to speak Scots, Miss ‘One Who Got Away.’” 

She threw her head back and laughed. The world went still, and he forgot whatever funny thing he meant to say next. “You need someone who thinks about you constantly,” he said softly. “A guy who worships your laugh like a religion.”

In the pulsing sunset her dark eyes shone bright, turning nearly amber. “Bobby…” She seemed at a loss for words and it was all he could do to stop himself from baring everything to her. He couldn’t. Not when he had to face the inevitability of losing her when they left. 

“Oi!” Lottie suddenly appeared, and threw her wet arms around Lili’s shoulders, pulling her so far backward she toppled off the beanbag entirely. Lili shrieked with sudden laughter as Lottie dropped to the ground and snuggled her. “Bobby, I know how hard it is for you to stop snogging this one for ten seconds, but the girl council needs a chat.” Behind her Chelsea and Marisol approached. 

Lili gave him an apologetic look, while Marisol gave him a side eye and a shoo-ing gesture. Relief and disappointment collided like an icy meteor hitting the earth. “Well, I know when I’m not wanted,” he said as he unfolded himself from the seat. Chelsea plopped down where he’d been, and the girls gathered around her. He turned and headed for the pool, but a soft hand slid into his, tugging him back. 

"So this lad," Lili said. "Finish telling me about him."

He'd used up all the energy he had for earnestness, so he went back to what he was good at. Being ridiculous. "Oh, he'll be a real catch. Great in bed. Willing to bake you whatever pastries you want. He'll even have a boatload of freckles for you to enjoy. But, most importantly," he shuffled closer and looked into her eyes. "He'll have the mad desire to smack your arse every time you bend over but be gentlemanly enough not to act on that impulse unless you say he can." 

A tiny smile came and went as her teeth scraped along her lower lip. He could see her mind working, debating whether to force him to go back to being serious. He almost hoped she would. Call him out. Pull him from the hell inside his head and make him say exactly what he was most afraid to. Tell him that they were going to make it and that he’d never regret her because she’d never break his heart. 

"Lili, come on!" Lottie hollered. 

Just like that, the moment was lost. She sighed and shook her head at him. More stinging disappointment, like a shower of meteorite rubble after the impact, rained down on him. 

She started pulling her hand from his but stopped. “Now that I think about it, I've already met that guy," she said quietly. 

He studied her. "Have you now?"

“I have. But he’s got me bare confused. I don’t know what I’m supposed to think anymore.”

Of course she felt that way. Despite the banter and the great sex, there was nothing holding them together. He cleared his throat. “What kind of numpty would do that to you? It’s Oliver Craig, isn’t it?” 

“No. Oliver is…” She thought a moment. “For me, he’s a biscuit. A nice sweet biscuit. The numpty I’m talking about is more than that. He's a proper Jaffa Cake. He just can't see it." 

His heart battered furiously against his rib cage. She turned but he gripped her hand tighter, pulling her back. "Lil, um... I... Do you..." She tilted her head and waited. "I um... it's..." He shook his head. "Is that a no on the casual arse slapping, then?" 

Why? Why was he allowed to speak? Fuck his life.

She rolled her eyes. “Bobby—”

Lottie grabbed Lili’s arm. “Seriously, we need to figure out how to handle all this drama and we don’t have much time to talk before Priya and Hope kill each other. Come on.” 

Their hands broke apart as Lottie yanked her away, but Lili looked back at him and god she was lovely. Not just because the retreating sun had turned her bronze skin to liquid fire, but because she was the light he wanted surrounding him, the storm he wanted to get swept up in. But what would that storm cost him in the end? 

Biscuit or not, if Oliver Craig wasn’t worth the trouble of a long-distance relationship, Bobby McKenzie didn’t stand a chance. 

Jaffa Cake? 

Nah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a beast of a chapter during a very stressful month. It's def not my best one, but if I have to read one more time I'll scream. So hopefully it's enjoyable because I honestly cannot tell anymore. 
> 
> As always, if you like this story, leave me kudos or a comment here or throw me a tweet @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are my preferred currencies. Thank you for reading! 💓
> 
> The list of people to thank gets longer and longer, so I'll just say thank you to everyone I've befriended in this community. You've given me support, pep talks, inspiration, late night chats, Zepeto dance-offs and so so many good music trades. I appreciate you all.


	36. Keep Glowing, I’ll Follow Your Explosions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah & Hope continue their epic fight, Bobby & Lili avoid them by having... adult conversations, Something unnamed gets a name, & a recoupling announcement looms ominously over everyone.
> 
> When you finish reading the chapter, go check out Tashie's comic that goes with one of the scenes here. https://twitter.com/TashieCake/status/1289325424552681480?s=20

“I said I made a mistake and I’m sorry. What the hell else do you want from me, Hope?”

“I don’t want anything. I’ve had all I can stomach from you, thanks.” Hope’s towering heels click-clacked through the kitchen as she stormed by, snatching a bottle of wine off the counter as she went.

Bobby watched her warily, as he slid the mini mango galettes he’d made onto a platter. The rustic tarts weren’t up to his standards for beauty, but they tasted amazing. And someone had squeezed the hell out of the mangos, so they needed to be used or thrown out. 

Noah raced past. “The reason you don’t want to talk this through is because you’d have to own up to your own choices instead of crying over mine.”

She spun and pointed the wine bottle at him. “What did I do except try to make us work?”

“You tried to force us to work! Every time a girl so much as glanced in my direction you had your hand in my pants. And you knew I had one foot out the door, and you fucked me to keep me from putting the other one out. Stop pretending like you’re innocent here!”

For a moment, he was sure she was going to smash that bottle right over Noah’s head. Thankfully, she just glared at him silently before turning and walking away again. 

Bobby blew out a breath. Jesus. They’d been arguing like that all evening and he’d found himself shrinking in the wake of it. Too familiar. It was all too familiar. 

So, he’d busied himself by baking. 

Maybe the tarts would bring some smiles back to the villa. 

He cleaned the kitchen slowly and then sat the platter on the counter, covering it with a towel. They probably wouldn’t get eaten tonight. Most everyone had made themselves scarce, finding quiet corners to hide from the fighting. 

As he headed for the villa, he passed Priya on the daybed, where she’d been parked all evening, red-eyed and feeling sorry for herself because everyone was upset with her. Again. 

He cared about her, he really did, and he felt drawn to stop and talk to her, but he knew he couldn’t. She’d spited her face so many times, she had no nose left to cut off. And he couldn’t jeopardize his shaky relationship with Lili by picking up any more of Priya’s pieces. 

Sighing, he grabbed his pyjamas and made his way to the bathroom. He stared into the mirror and ran wet hands through his locs, which had a fine dusting of flour. He’d gotten a little aggressive with the dough. Ah well. He’d wash it in the morning. 

After brushing his teeth, he changed into his cupcake bottoms, ready to sleep away the misery of the evening. With a yawn, he emerged from the bathroom and found Lili kicking off her heels in the dressing room. He’d only seen her in passing since the girl council stole her away. At some point she’d changed into a white mini dress that hugged her body in the most mouthwatering way. 

“Ya look like spun sugar, lass,” he said. 

She turned and smiled softly. “Thank you. I didn’t realize you were up here.”

“Cleaning up. Also trying to wait out the arguing. It’s doing my head in.” 

“Mine too.” She walked over and stood on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck. He breathed in the scent of her hair and her evening perfume. Like always, his body ached for her. And so did his idiot heart. 

_ Ask her. Ask her right now. _

“So, I was thinking…” he said, his face burning. “It might be nice to…” His throat felt thick and tight. “To have some privacy,” he finally said, groaning inside. 

“Oh.” She pulled back. “Do you want me to leave you alone for a while?”

“No! No! That’s not, I meant privacy with you. Um, in the bathroom.” Oh god, he was just making this so much worse. Why did he say any of that? _ Will. You. Be. My. Girlfriend. _Those were the words. Why wouldn’t his mouth put them together in that order when she was actually awake to hear them?

“Really? The bathroom?” Her dubious look gave way to a dimpled smile. “Well, I suppose we’re past the point of being shy of the cameras, and it’s not every day I’m propositioned for bathroom sex. Or ever really. So, um, sure.”

He laughed to cover his embarrassment, but stepped aside and let her into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it. “So…”

“So.” Without taking her eyes off of him, she reached behind her and unzipped her dress. She shimmied it over her hips and it dropped to the floor. He let out a slow breath. 

“No pants?” he murmured, staring at all her naked glowing glory. 

“The dress was too snug. Lottie said she could see them through it.”

“I need to thank Lottie for that.” He tilted his head. “I’ve never really gotten to see all of you like this. Not all at once. Will you turn around for me?”

She turned slowly. Looking over her shoulder at him with a devilish smile, she raised her arms above her head and twerked, her strong legs bouncing her ass in the most hypnotizing way. He’d never noticed before, but under the harsh bathroom light, pale stretch marks decorated her hips and ass, like swipes of an artist’s paintbrush. Fuck, there was something so sexy about her lack of self-consciousness. She loved her body, just as it was and that turned him on. He stroked himself through his pyjamas, already half-hard without even touching her. 

“Your turn,” she said, spinning the rest of the way round. He grinned and stripped. She eyed him hungrily and bit her lip. “Give us the whole show, like.” 

Laughing and feeling way more self-conscious than she likely had, he turned. “Any twerking on my part would likely kill the mood,” he said. 

“I doubt that. You have a great bum.” He peered over his shoulder as she stepped forward, running a tickling finger down his ass cheek. “How in the world did you manage to get freckles here?” 

He shivered at her teasing touch on his naked skin. “Lads took me to Ardeer for skinny dipping on my birthday last year. I got proper pished and passed out naked on the beach. The dobbers took photos, but no one slapped any sun cream on my rear. So now I’ve got a few lovely reminders of the day.”

She laughed warm against his neck. “So, which of your friends do I call to get my hands on those naked pictures?”

He gripped her wrists and pulled them around his waist. “I’d rather you put your hands on the real thing.”

Her fingers trailed below his abs, stroking over the ridges of his pelvic bone. He held his breath as she drifted lower still and took him in hand. She gave a firm stroke and he gasped, arching into her grip. Her mouth trailed over the still-stinging scratches on his back. He spun and kissed her slowly, and she melted the way she always did, turning to shimmering liquid in his arms. 

He pushed her against the wall, and she gave a squeal of laughter. “Cold!”

“Sorry. Let me warm ya.” He pulled her from the wall and ran his hands down her back and over her ass, stroking and squeezing, as he kissed her neck, sucking gently as he made his way to her collarbone, stroking her soft skin with his tongue. 

“Shower,” she moaned softly. 

Too excited to speak, he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her with him as he threw the shower door open. He leaned in, switching on the water with one hand and groping her with the other. Laughing, she fumbled for the jar of condoms on the shelf beside them, and then hopped inside, beckoning him to follow. He waited a moment, so he could take her in. Wide inviting smile. Water rushing over her skin, dripping off her nipples. Her eyes sparking like wildfire. 

“God, just looking at you makes my heart go like the clappers,” he whispered. 

She tugged him into the shower and kissed him. The hot water poured down his back and he groaned at how good it felt. She smiled. “I feel the same about you.” 

After that, it was a flurry of hands and tongues. They touched and kissed in the steamy air. He hoisted her legs around his waist, pinning her against the shower door. 

She gripped his shoulders. “Don’t let me fall, Bobby Beautiful."

“If we fall, we’ll fall together, Lili Lovely.” He slid inside of her and she tightened her legs around him. It was heavenly. He pumped slowly, loving her snug arms around his neck and her feet digging into his ass.

“God, you’re strong,” she gasped. 

He laughed and tightened his hold on her. “You think?”

“I think.” Her teeth scraped his neck. “Harder.”

He obliged, god did he oblige. But the shower door clanked and rattled and slid open. The cool air made goosebumps rise on his skin, and the shifting surface made him start to lose his grip on her. “Fuck.” Slowly, he lowered her feet to the floor and leaned to trail his tongue down to her breasts. 

She cupped his jaw and brought his mouth back to hers. The kiss was tender, and his heart pounded so hard he was sure she’d feel it beating against hers. She pulled back and reached for the body wash. He had no idea what she was going to do, but the lava heat in her eyes told him he was going to enjoy it. She tugged the condom off and lathered him up, stroking until he was gasping, and then rinsed the soap off. He caressed her breasts, waiting for her next move. 

Biting her lip, she dropped to her knees and looked up at him. Oh. God. He stared down at her, his whole body throbbing. But he held up a finger and reached out of the shower, yanking a fluffy towel off the rack. He folded it into a rectangle and sat it in front of her. She gave him a questioning look. 

He stroked her cheek. “I don’t want your knees to hurt.”

Her eyes softened into puddles of dark chocolate. She shifted, resting her legs on the towel and kissed his stomach. “I haven’t told you yet.” She stroked him gently. “But I’ve finally decided what to name it.”

“Have you?”

She swirled her tongue around the head of his cock, making him moan. “It’s taken a few days of careful thought, but today I figured it out.”

He pressed a hand to the wall. “I appreciate that you’re taking this seriously.”

“I’m very serious about it. He’s Scottish. A proud culture deserves a proud name.”

“Oh, I cannot wait to hear this.”

She looked up at him, eyes twinkling. “The Cockness Monster.”

He stared down at her for a moment as the words registered. His laugh reverberated through the bathroom. Probably through the whole villa. “I’ve never--” he gasped. “Never been prouder of my tadger.”

“I feel that it’s an elegant, mysterious name. He’s large, gorgeous, and once you see him, you believe in him.” His shoulders shook from the force of his mirth. She grinned. “I do love your laugh.” Before he could respond, she ran her tongue up and down his shaft and then pulled him in her mouth. She took her time, stroking him with her soft lips. One of her hands massaged his baws, tugging, making his eyes roll back. 

She sat up straighter and slid him between her wet breasts pushing them tight together, making a soft snug home for him to thrust into. He leaned over and grasped her breasts himself, stroking them as he pushed them together, thrusting higher. As he pushed upward, she caught his head in her mouth, sucking on it as he pulled away. Goddamn. She gripped his ass and teased the tip of his cock until he was unable to hold off another second. He let go of her breasts and pushed himself between her lips. That was what he wanted. Cock buried in her mouth, hands lost in her wet hair, oh god it was so good. 

Pulsing and releasing, she sucked and stroked until he was nearly gone, his body tight and ready. “Fuck, Lil,” he moaned. She moaned too and it vibrated against his already sensitive skin. He pumped his hips, and she sucked harder, her tongue massaging the underside. “Oh my god, oh my fucking god,” he grunted, trying to keep control. “I’m gonna…” 

She nodded and took him deeper. His brain short circuited. He was nothing but electrical pulses. He tightened and tightened until it felt like lightning had struck his spine. He gripped her hair and gasped as he came in her warm mouth, shuddering over and over, as she kept drawing him in. 

After a moment, she pushed on his thighs and he slowly pulled himself from her mouth. His knees were so weak he had to put his hands against the shower wall to keep from toppling over. She pressed soft kisses to his cock and stomach, and looked up at him, smiling. Her fingers traced his hip bones. “You’re so gorgeous,” she whispered. He shuddered again, this time overwhelmed by what he felt looking at her sweet face. He reached down and stroked her jaw, unable to speak. There was no one else. No one in the world who made him feel this way. No one who would ever make him feel this way again. It wasn’t hyperbole. He sensed it deep in his marrow. She was all he would ever want. 

And there it was again. That word. That big terrifying word, bright as Blackpool Illuminations, flashing behind his eyes. He let himself truly linger on it for the first time. Just for a few seconds. And then he shoved it aside. Shaking his head, he helped her up and pushed her to the wall, kissing her so he could taste himself on her tongue. They stood there breathless for a few minutes as he trailed reverent kisses down her neck and breasts.

He stroked his fingers down her soft stomach and between her thighs, teasing them over her cleft, before sliding inside. She gasped and clutched at his arm. He pumped them slowly inside of her, his thumb making a gentle circle around her clit. 

“You haven’t come yet, lass,” he whispered in her ear. 

She trembled but pushed her hips away from his hand. “It’s alright. I don’t think we have time. We’ve been gone a long while. Someone’s bound to catch us in here.” 

“Goddammit.” He’d always loved the idea of communal living. Having lots of people around was great, but he was beginning to hate the villa. All he wanted was time to say words he wanted to say. Time to make love as loud and frequently as he wanted without anyone interrupting them. 

Her soft laugh teased against the crook of his neck. “I know. But you can make it up to me tonight.” He grunted his disappointment and she got on her tiptoes and brushed her nose against his before leading him out of the shower. She grabbed another towel from the rack and gently patted him dry as he watched her in the full-length mirror. 

She glanced behind herself and laughed. “That’s hardly fair. Without shoes I’m barely tall enough to see over your shoulder to look at _ your _ bum in the mirror.”

“Let’s fix that.” He tugged her over to the bench in front of the guys’ dressing table. Hoisting her up, he positioned himself in front of the table mirror. He arched his back and attempted to twerk. “Enjoy this show. There will be no encore.” 

“Whoo!” She pretended to make it rain. “Pop it, pop it!”

He luxuriated in the sound of her laugh and did some more ridiculous moves. When he stood upright, she put her hands on his shoulders, waiting for him to help her down, but instead, he trailed his mouth over her breast and ran his tongue over her areola. She let out a soft sigh and pressed toward his mouth. He teased the tip of her nipple with his tongue, knowing it would annoy her just a little and make her demand more, because she liked a lot of friction and suction. She gave a rumble of displeasure and pushed his head harder against her breast. He laughed quietly. It was amazing how much he’d learned about her in such a short amount of time. He might not have gone anywhere with school, but he had a master’s degree in Lili’s body. 

Wrapping his mouth around as much of her breast as he could, he drew her in. With his other hand, he pulled on her other nipple, pinching and twisting just a little. She whimpered and her nails dug into his scalp. He switched sides and gave her other breast the same attention. Then, he trailed his lips down her stomach, dropping hot suctioning kisses as he moved lower.

He looked up at her. She gave the door a worried glance, but nodded, answering the question in his eyes. He breathed out and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her off her feet and sitting her on the bench. Quivering like a happy pup, he dropped to the floor and stroked her ankles and calves, kissing the backs of her knees and making her giggle because she was so ticklish there. Slowly, he pulled her thighs apart and breathed in her glorious earthy scent. 

“Wait, don’t you need a towel for your knees?” she asked.

“Nah. I’m not a dancer so my knees aren’t nearly as important as yours.”

She sat up on her elbows and looked at him for a long moment. “How do you do that? Whenever I think I know what I… you say something that’s so lovel--” She sighed. “You’ve got me so twisted up, Bobby.”

“I don’t mean to.” He ran his hand over her chest and pushed her gently backward. “Lie back, darlin'.” 

The bench squeaked as she shifted onto her back. He pulled her to the edge and rained kisses on her thighs. With his thumbs, he opened her up and gave her only the very tip of his tongue, feathering along her sensitive clit until she planted her feet on the floor and grabbed his locs, holding him in place while she arched up. 

He chuckled, his breath making her shiver. “You’re so impatient. Don’t you want to savor this?”

Her scoffing sound made him laugh harder. She sat upright. “If you’re not going to take this seriously, then I’m going downstairs to make a toastie.” Her tone was stern but the light in her eyes danced with mischief and her mouth kept tugging into an almost-smile.

“No you’re not,” he growled, pushing her onto her back.

She giggled. “Then get to work, Mr. McKenzie.” 

Oh, he liked that. Before she could react, he threw her legs over his shoulders and slid his tongue inside of her. Her moans were everything. Soon, he was pushing his fingers deep as he drew in her clit, and she yanked hard on his locs, sending spirals of pleasure and pain through him. He pushed harder against her and gave her the pace she wanted. Arching frantically, her thighs tightened, and her moans rose in pitch. He sucked harder and the moans turned to tight little yelps and then there was no sound. She had reached that moment he lived for, right before her body tipped over the edge. The one where she pulled in her breath, tightened every muscle and gave only the faintest whimper. And then she exploded, crying out his name as sweetness ran down his chin. Fuck it was so good he could never stop himself. He kept going, adjusting the pressure until she quaked and came again. 

She pushed him away, body rippling with pleasure. “Oh my god, Bobby.” 

He couldn’t stop the smirk that curled at the edge of his mouth. “I have a very particular set of skills.”

“I know that’s a movie quote but can’t… think.... think things now.”

Grinning, he stroked her legs and kissed her all over. After a minute or two, she pushed to the edge of the bench and sat up. She kissed him and reached between them to stroke his cock, which was rock hard again. 

“Fuck me please.”

He’d never moved faster, racing across the room to grab another condom. He shoved the bench aside and she bent over the dressing table, her gorgeous ass in the air, knees still wobbling like a newborn fawn from the orgasm he’d given her. 

Pride and desire tightened around him. “I've had dreams of seeing you like this.” He slid the condom on and pushed inside of her. She gasped and he gripped her breasts, working himself slowly within her, as he kissed her neck and back. He glanced up and realized that he could see her in the mirror. It was so sexy. He picked up the speed and watched her face change, watched her eyes dilate, watched her mouth open up, wet lips asking for more. She stared directly into his eyes, into his soul, shining brighter than a thousand stars. He was lost, completely lost in her gaze. Drunk and dizzy on her light. 

“Look at yourself. Look how beautiful,” he breathed against her ear. 

“Look how beautiful _ you _ are,” she whispered back. He glanced up at himself. His freckles were stark against his pinkened copper cheeks. Wet locs flying like a bird’s feathers. The muscles in his shoulders rolling as he gripped her and pumped faster. His own light shone, bright and splashed with streaks of cotton candy pink and lemon drop yellow. Fuck, oh fuck. The way she saw him, he could finally see it. For a moment, he felt as gorgeous as she said he was. Through her, he saw his light too. 

Their eyes locked and he went harder, pounding until her hands scrabbled for purchase and she knocked over the guys’ moisturizers and tanning creams and aftershaves. She dropped her head and moaned piteously. No. Without thought he grabbed hold of her wet hair and jerked her head back. Her cry of pleasure sent heat shooting up his spine. “Don’t look down, lass. Keep looking at me.”

She stared into his eyes and he wanted more than anything to watch her come like this. And he knew how to get her there. He leaned forward, never breaking from her gaze and breathed against her ear. “Do you want me to fuck you harder?” he whispered. 

“Yes,” she whimpered. 

He stopped thrusting and bit her ear. “Beg for it.”

“Oh fuck,” she cried out, pushing back against him. “Please, Bobby. Please.” Her voice broke, nearly sobbing in her need. He yanked her hair harder as he crashed into her. More things fell off the dressing table. Combs and lip balms clattered to the floor. She tightened until her legs quaked and eyes were nearly black in the mirror. She stared at him as her entire body rippled and she exhaled his name over and over as she came. 

Christ it was so beautiful. He pulled her hair tighter and his body constricted. Oh, fuck yes. So close. 

The creak of the floor in the dressing room, followed by angry raised voices should have stopped him. But he was beyond that kind of reason. The word, the giant glowing word moved up his throat and he couldn’t stop it. He barely wanted to. He kept going, knowing that when he came, the word would spill along with him. 

“Lil,” he moaned against her neck as he started pulsing inside of her. “I lo--”

Something slammed, jolting him out of his pleasure. No no no. Fuck no. Lili gasped. 

Hope and Noah stood in the now-open doorway, anger draining from their faces. 

He was trapped in limbo, so close to coming, so close to saying the word that was killing him to keep inside. He vibrated with the sudden force of his fury. Was there never one fucking moment when they were free to be alone? Where they wouldn’t be interrupted over and over and over again? When he could just make love and make noise and not worry about random eejits interrupting them? Stopping him from saying all the words he was dying to say?

Noah’s gaze licked over Lili’s exposed body like flames, and Bobby’s already righteous fury ignited. Grabbing Lili’s hips, he spun them both around so all their intruders could see was his freckled arse. “Get tae fuck!” he yelled over his shoulder. Before he could stop himself, a string of increasingly crass invective spewed out of him. “Noah, put yer eyes back in yer head and learn to knock, ya filthy glaikit wank-stain!”

Still, no one moved. "What the fuck are ye waitin’ for? Away and take yer faces for a shite!” he barked.

Lili looked over her shoulder and stared at him wide-eyed. As suddenly as the door was slammed open, it slammed closed behind them. 

For a moment all was silent. Until Hope’s bird-like trill of laughter. Outside of the door, it started soft and gained momentum, turning to giggles and then guffaws. Noah’s resonant laugh joined hers like an echo. 

Bobby’s cock was still throbbing inside of Lili, desperate to come. But she was too busy cupping her hands over her mouth, howling like a hyena. 

“Lass, stop laughing!” 

She gave a loud snort. “I’m sorry I can’t…” Another whoop shot out of her and she was shaking from the force of it. 

On the other side of the door, Noah gave a snort that matched Lili’s as he got a second wind and Hope’s cackles rose in pitch until they were more shrieks than anything. After a solid minute of mirth, Hope tried to catch her breath. “Sorry,” she called out, sounding lighter than she had in days. “Sorry. Um, enjoy yourselves. Not that you weren’t already. Because…” she started giggling again. “Holy hell, Bobby.” She let out another peal of laughter. “Who knew?”

After a moment, their laughter and footsteps faded away. But Lili was still doubled over, her jiggling body reviving his slightly wilted stauner. 

“Seriously, Lil, it’s impolite to laugh while the Cockness Monster is still inside of you.” 

“I can’t help it!” She snorted. “You went all Scottish Hulk! What the hell did you say? Away and what?”

Her laugh was so beautiful and mesmerizing, he found his ire draining away. It was probably for the best that he hadn’t lost his head and said something foolish. He kissed her neck. “I said, ‘away and take yer faces for a shite.’ Don’t ask me what it means. It’s just a thing we say. But it usually makes people go away.” He ran his fingers up her sides and tickled her ribs. “I feel like you’re not appreciating how hard I worked to protect your virtue.”

Peering over her shoulder at him, her laughter drained away. She bit her lip and rolled her hips sensuously, making him groan. “How can I show my appreciation?”

The moment was gone, the word locked back in his chest, but his body soldiered on, wanting more with her. Always more.

“Mmm, let me think.” He cupped her breasts, kneading firmly. She moaned as he pressed hot kisses to her neck and up to her ear. “Hulk smash?” he grunted. 

She laughed and bent back over the dressing table. “Mmm. Hulk smash.”

## **

Afterward, they slid on their pyjamas and Bobby led Lili to the kitchen and hand fed her a galette. She licked the sticky sweet mango filling from his fingers and moaned her appreciation and he couldn’t resist feeding her a second one so he could see her do it again. 

Sighing happily, he sat back and glanced across the yard. Out on the loungers, Noah and Hope faced each other, their bodies leaned in, expressions serious. But Noah was holding Hope’s hand. 

“Lil, look,” he said softly. 

She followed where he pointed and smiled. “That’s a good sign, don’t you think?” She bit her lip. “Or it could be a bad one.”

“Honestly, if we get peace in the villa for a few days, I don’t care which way it goes,” he said.

Brushing at the crumbs of crust on the counter, she nodded. “It has been stressful. Are you doing alright?”

She really was the bonniest lass. He grabbed her hips and pulled her onto his lap. Wrapping his arms around her, he buried his face in her neck and sighed. In the past he would never have admitted to feeling anything about it. But Lili felt safe. “All the yelling and anger, it makes me feel…” He frowned. “Nervous? Scared? I dunno. But I don’t like it.” 

She stroked his locks and kissed the top of his head. “I don’t either. We both got enough of that growing up.”

“Aye, that we did. Too much of it.” He nuzzled her, so happy that she understood him and wouldn't take the piss because he admitted how much that kind of conflict upset him. He’d never felt safe enough to say something like that before. A powerful pulse behind his eyes, made him desperate to escape thinking too hard about that. “See, what we need is a distraction from all the drama.” He grazed his teeth along her shoulder. 

“Mmm, I don’t think my body can handle any more of your distractions tonight.”

“Must you always think about sex, Liliana?”

She barked a laugh. “Oh, I’m so sorry, _ Robert _. What chaste distraction would you like to engage in?”

“Dammit, you called me Robert and now all I can think about is sex.” She snorted and he squeezed her tighter, wrapping himself in the sweet, faint remainder of her perfume. A million thoughts tumbled over each other in his head. Some more dangerous than others. He wasn’t sure which one to choose, so one chose for him. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” she said. 

“Did Oliver Craig ever ask for you to date him again? After you said you should be friends?” The question had been gnawing at him, though he regretted asking it immediately. 

“Yeah, he’s brought it up a few times.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Um, well musicians are on the road a lot and there are a lot of… temptations. And I didn’t want to be the girl sitting at home staring at her notifications, while another girl had her hand in his keks, you know? And he never seemed the kind of lad that would be willing to put up a fight for us. If something shinier came along, he’d reach for it, and honestly, I’m not sure my heart could take that.”

He stared at her, anxiety fluttering like moths at a flickering porch light. “You dumped him before he could hurt you?”

“No. No. It was more than that. He truly was a sweet lad, but he…” she sighed. “He wasn’t good at--ugh I don’t know how to explain it.” He squeezed her tighter, kissed her shoulder, and waited. Finally, she slumped against him. “After the anemia of my previous relationship, I wanted someone who would, I don’t know, make me a priority. And maybe, make a bit of a fuss over me. Not that I need a lot of...” she trailed off and shrugged. “That wasn’t Oliver.”

He tried to follow her logic, but he couldn’t. “Lil, he wrote you the biggest love song of the decade. If that’s not fuss, I don’t know what is.”

“But that song wasn’t _ for _ me. He didn’t pick up a guitar and spill his heart in some romantic gesture. He texted and said that I’d inspired a song, and then he sent me the studio recording, already polished and ready for the album, whether I wanted it on there or not.” Unlike her usual measured and melodic speech, the words whoosed out fast and stumbly. “It’s not--not even about us. It’s about some cruel girl who broke his heart and it’s meant to make his fans swoon and--and wonder why anyone would hurt such a nice romantic boy. That’s not…” Her mouth screwed up. “That’s not the truth, it’s not what I wanted, and it’s not risking anything. I want someone who is willing to put it all out there. To be honest and vulnerable. To...to be willing to make a fool of himself. Maybe that’s the romantic in me. Too many rom-coms or Taylor Swift songs, or whatever. But a gesture isn’t romantic if it’s not actually about me. About us.”

He stared at her. Future heartbreak or not, he was going to ask her to be his. He had to. And all she wanted was a foolish gesture? She liked how dramatic he could be. How big his personality was. Maybe all this time what she wanted was something he could actually deliver. 

She deserved to feel special and adored. But he had to do it right. He needed a little time to prepare it, but they had nothing but time in the villa. Tomorrow night. He was going to plan something beautiful for her. 

A shriek cut through the quiet of the evening. Lili hopped off his lap and they raced across the yard. Everyone else had the same idea and footsteps pounded from every corner of the villa as islanders ran toward the sound. 

Beneath the canopy of hanging lights in the garden, Chelsea clutched Jakub’s meaty arm and shrieked again. “Jakub got a text!” She pried the phone from his hand. He curled his lip but otherwise didn’t react. “Is everyone here to listen?”

“Gary and Lottie are in the Hideaway,” Marisol said. 

“Well, one of you had better run and get them before they get too cosy, cos what I’m about to tell you all changes _ everything _.”

Marisol huffed and wandered off, returning a minute later with a rumpled and put-out Gary and an exhausted looking Lottie. 

“This had better be good,” Lottie rasped. “That bed is heaven.”

Chelsea waved the phone at her. “Shhh! You needed to hear this!” She cleared her throat. “’Islanders, tomorrow there will be a recoupling. The boys will be choosing. #pickwisely #shakeitup.’”

Everyone froze. Lucas stared at Hope. Jakub stared at Priya. Rahim stared at the ground. 

Hope’s mouth opened and closed, and she looked at Noah with sad pleading eyes. “Oh my god.” 

After a tense moment, everyone quietly shuffled off, shock still visible on their faces. Lili glanced sideways at him and bit her lip. Before he could say anything, Hope swung around and gripped Lili’s hand. 

“Can we chat?” Hope asked softly.

“Of course.” Lili gave Bobby a worried smile and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll be inside soon.”

He watched them wander off toward the daybeds. Lili looked over her shoulder at him once or twice, the same concerned look pinching her features. 

She knew, didn’t she? She had to know that it could only be her. He wasn’t picking anyone else. And if she didn’t, she’d know tomorrow night. Before the recoupling he’d make a fool out of himself. 

For her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Lauren for giving me the thumbs up to steal the name her Scottish boyfriend gave his tadger. I've been waiting for the right time to use that since November of 2019 😄 Thank you Tash for your brill ideas about the shower scene and your amazing artwork to go with my chapter! Thank you to Charlie (@jojostiddies) for offering your help with Scottish curse words. Thanks to Curry for simply being fun and hilarious and an epic dork with me. You are the Bey to my Tay. And finally, thank you Sam for your kindness and willingness to read my work and offer feedback. The connection is real and it means everything to me. 
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you for reading. And commenting. And messaging me on Twitter. Your comments have made me laugh and cry and have made me remember why I love writing. And why I should probably keep doing it. You give me life 💓 If you like what I do, keep leaving me me kudos, comments, tweets, or messages @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are always my preferred currencies.


	37. Like the Colors in Autumn So Bright Just Before They Lose It All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bobby gets Pirate-y, Lucas is shifty, Lili has a tummy ache, and Gary is VERY grumpy about dancing. Shit's gettin' tense in the villa.

“Have you noticed the weird vibe in the villa?” Marisol asked, staring down at the bright red varnish she was applying. 

Bobby fought a yawn and lost. “It’s _ so _ weird. Everyone is acting off. This morning I asked Lottie if she wanted to read my tea leaves and she muttered something about Mercury in retrograde and said my shorts were negatively affecting her energies.” 

Sitting in front of him on the daybed, Lili’s lips twitched with amusement. But she kept her body still as she gripped his hand and focused on painting his fingernails a purple so dark it looked black in all but the brightest of light. “I don’t know about a weird vibe, but I talked to Hope for most of the night last night,” she murmured. “She’s struggling but seems resigned to Noah choosing someone else. I can’t convince her otherwise.” 

“Maybe because that someone could be you,” Marisol said. He nearly choked. Oh god. It could be. 

“Nah.” She held his hand and stared at his nails before nodding and grabbing his other hand to apply a topcoat. “I chatted to him for a mo when we first woke.” His head shot up. Why were they talking this morning? 

“He’s choosing Hope,” she continued. “Despite everything, he still cares about her. For whatever that’s worth.”

He blew out a breath. That was a relief at least. Not that it mattered. As soon as he talked to Gary and Lottie, he’d be standing in front of the entire villa, telling everyone how serious he was about her. After that, nothing would keep them apart. 

Unless she said no, of course. 

He looked at the crisp white duvet and shook his head. She’d say yes. She would. Because he had no idea how he would breathe again if she didn’t. 

“You’re frowning,” Lili said.

“What? I never do that.” 

Rolling her eyes, she reached toward him and smoothed the space between his brows. He exhaled, the tension leaving him at her touch. As if his entire body were in her control. “Babe are you alright?” she asked. “You look knackered.”

“I’m still having trouble sleeping. I don’t know what's going on with me.” He’d struggled to sleep as a bairn, but never like this. Without Lili he couldn’t rest, and she’d come to bed extremely late. He wasn’t able to drift off until she was curled around him, so he’d barely fallen unconscious before the alarms forced everyone awake.

“Poor sweet la.” She stroked his cheek and went back to painting. “When I can’t sleep, I need heat. A steaming cuppa and a hot shower before bed. It might help. Then, afterward, I’ll rub your neck.”

“I’d like that.” His insides fluttered; those leaves in the storm swirling. She wanted to take care of him. 

Her face was tight with concentration as she applied the topcoat, her lashes casting shadows on her cheeks. She made slow steady strokes, hell-bent on not making a single mistake. He smiled as he watched her work.

“My biggest concern right now is Priya,” Marisol declared.

“Why?” He flapped his free hand around, helping the varnish dry. 

“Think of the damage she’ll do if Noah chooses Hope again. She’ll become even more reckless.” Marisol reached for her topcoat. “It’s been like fighting fires with all the drama and I’m afraid she’ll undo the effort we’ve put into keeping the villa stable.” 

“Yeah,” Bobby said. “She’s a bit um… erratic, sometimes.”

Lili’s gaze darkened a touch, but she capped her varnish and smiled. “You’re all done.” 

He stared at his near-black nails. They’d look nice for their big moment later. “It’s proper punk rock. Like I’m back in Paisley Cuddle.”

“Least I could do to thank you for painting mine.” She wriggled her toes at him. 

He bent and kissed the tops of her feet. “My pleasure, lass.” 

“You really do have a foot thing, don’t you?” Marisol asked. “I’ve always wondered about the psychology of that.”

“Please spread the word that it was a_ joke _.” She arched an eyebrow and he released Lili’s feet. “It’s not a fetish. I like her feet because they’re attached to her and I like all of her.”

“Yes, we’ve heard.” Marisol stood and stretched. “I think my rapid-dry varnish has done its job. I’m going to chat to Lucas about the recoupling. We haven’t discussed anything.” Her face pinched up. “I have no clue what he’s planning.” She looked at Lili for a long moment. “Do you?”

Lili’s brows drew together. “No. Should I?”

Marisol shook her head and waved as she sauntered off. 

His stomach rumbled and he patted Lili’s feet. “I’m starved. I didn’t have breakfast. Want me to bring you some lunch?” 

She held up a hand. “No thank you. I’ve already started on my fingernails.” 

He kissed her forehead before walking to the kitchen. Luck was on his side as Gary was standing near the counter, his giant arms wrapped around Lottie’s narrow middle as she stared into a mug. Gary pressed his chin to her shoulder. “What do the leaves say, Lozza?” 

“I’m not fully...” She picked up the mug and looked closer. “This is odd. Cake? And destruction.”

“I could destroy some cake,” Gary said. “Maybe Bobs is gonna bake us one.”

“No such plans, but I did make some tarts,” he said, walking past them. He pulled the mango galettes from their hiding place and sat them on the counter. Gary was going to need some convincing to go along with the plan. He plated one and handed it to him. 

“What in the fu—” Lottie slammed the mug down and everyone jumped. “It says dancing. Dancing and cake and disaster.”

“Sounds like one hell of an evening,” Bobby said. He slid her a galette as well. “Speaking of dancing...” 

Lottie glared at the cup before giving him the full intensity of her green gaze. “See? The leaves never lie. Who’s dancing?” 

“I am. I mean we are. If you’ll…” He took a breath. “I’m asking Lili to be my girlfriend. And I need your help.” They stared at him open-mouthed as he explained his plan as quickly and quietly as possible.

“Don’t you think it’s a little soon to be asking your bird to be exclusive?” Gary asked, biting into the galette, crumbs spilling into his chest hair. “Even if we weren’t on this show, it’d be awfully soon. Not that you two aren’t great together, but it’s not even been two weeks and there’s bound to be more good-looking girls coming and...”

“Are you serious right now?” Lottie raised an eyebrow to the sky. She had her spit-bees face on.

Gary hunched his shoulders. “Oh, no I just—erm, I’m talking about Bobby. There aren’t gonna be better looking girls than you.” Lottie rolled her eyes. 

“I’m sure about it,” Bobby said. “Pal, she’s… There’s no one like her. And when I put my eggs in someone’s basket, I put them all in.”

“That’s such a weird saying.” Lottie peered at the tea leaves one last time and sighed. “Okay, I’m assuming you want to do this before the recoupling.”

“Aye. I figured maybe we could go up to the terrace and get some practice in and then come straight down and do it while it’s fresh.”

“Did you bake her something, too?” Lottie asked. 

“No, that’s a me-thing. I want to do a her-thing.”

“But belly dancing, mate?” Gary looked decidedly unconvinced. “I’m not sure I’ve got the physique for that.”

“I hardly think it’s gonna look like belly dancing anyhow, but yeah, that’s the right choice.” He smiled despite his nerves. “I picked out a song she likes and everything.”

Lottie brushed the galette crumbs from Gary’s chest. “Come on, Gare-Bear. We’re in.”

“Yes!” Bobby pumped his fist. After they finished eating, he led them to the terrace and sat out Lili’s tiny music player. “Okay, here’s the song.” 

Halfway through, Gary stared at him horrified. “Are you serious? Bobbo, this is the meltiest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. On national telly? You’ll never live it down.”

“That’s the point,” he said, shimmying his hips. “She’s worth it.”

Lottie raised her arms over her head. “No no, she taught me how to do that move. It’s like this!” She raised one hip and dropped it back into place, and then undulated her middle. 

Gary rolled his hips in a wide circle as if he were trying to catch a hula hoop before it fell to the ground. “My hips don’t do that!” 

“I’ve seen them do that,” she smirked. 

They practiced and practiced. After an hour, Bobby’s legs were nearly numb, and Gary was downright surly. But it looked almost as if they knew what they were doin—no that was a lie. It looked awful. Absolutely dreadful, but that was alright. 

They headed for the dressing room and he borrowed Lottie’s eyeliner, applying it on his lower lash line just for a bit of smolder. Lottie threw him a fancy black scarf she had stashed in her closet and he tied it around his waist. Shame he didn’t bring a kilt with him. Lili would have loved that. 

He tucked the music player under his arm. Gary and Lottie followed behind him as they left the villa. 

Lili was curled up in a beanbag talking to Hope. He forced himself to keep walking. He could do this. He _ would _ do this. 

“Ready?” he asked. 

“Nope,” Gary said. 

“Great.” He took a deep slow breath. “Let’s do it.”

“Oh!” Hope shot off her beanbag. “I got a text!” 

“Now?” Lottie muttered, mirroring his own feelings. 

“It’s a challenge!” 

“Shit-damn-fucking bolloks,” he growled, incapable of being creative with his invective. 

Gary shrugged, looking relieved. “Sorry, lad.”

Everyone gathered around Hope, who bit her lip, looking excited for the first time in days. She read out the details, but he couldn’t have cared less about it. His heart was pounding, his arse was sweating, and he was quickly running out of patience for fucking stupid games. 

Lili threaded her fingers through his. “You’re frowning again.”

With tremendous force, he shoved all of his disappointment and nervousness into a ball and tossed it into a closet in his mind. Right after the stupid challenge he’d ask her. 

He gave a careless smile. “Woman, I don’t do that.”

She shook her head and then her own brow creased. “Babe, why are you dressed like a pirate?”

He looked down at the jingly black scarf tied on his hip and remembered the black eyeliner. Shit. “Uh, the varnish made me nostalgic. Pirates are punk rock.”

“I suppose they are.” She bit her lip and gave him a heated look that he felt all the way to his soul. “I like that eyeliner on you. And now I’m wondering if you own any leather keks.”

He pulled her close and ran his hands down her back, stopping just short of grabbing her ass and whispered in her ear. “Oh, you want bad Bobby, do you?” She shivered and arched, making his hands slide down. Without thought he cupped her rear and squeezed.

“Aren’t you excited?” Hope said. “Bobby?”

“Hmm? What?” He pulled away and forced himself to focus on something other than Lili’s ass. 

Hope rolled her eyes at him. “It’s a cake decorating challenge!”

A cake... “Oh! Oh, seriously?” Excitement washed away his frustration. Cooking challenges brought out the competitor in him. “This one’s made for me, guys. I’m all about cake decorating!”

“We’re so winning this,” Lili whispered.

“You’d better believe it.” He kissed her cheek and dragged her to the challenge stage. Giddiness blotted out his frustration as the guys queued up behind their partners, in front of a long table full of slightly overcooked cakes. Ugh, how did people get cake so wrong?

“A great couple makes a great team, so this is like a test of your teamwork!” Chelsea said as she blindfolded the girls. Jakub followed behind her with soft restraints and tied the boys’ arms behind their backs. “You’ll be the hands and the guys will your eyes,” Chelsea continued. “Prettiest cake wins!”

Since he couldn’t touch her, Bobby brushed his lips against Lili’s shoulder. She jumped a little and laughed, a tinkling sound he savored. He directed her successfully through the buttercream application and then to the piping bags full of colourful icing. “A little to the right,” he said. “It’s like I’m playing one of those weird claw grabby machines at the arcade.” 

“Ooh, I’m really good at those!” 

He moved his lips to her neck. “Why does that seem so unlikely?” 

“Because you don’t know what a little Oliver Twist grifter I was as a kid.” She squeezed yellow icing around the base of the cake. “I stole from my parents whenever they had money, because if I didn’t get my siblings birthday and Christmas gifts, they wouldn’t get anything at all. Hand me twenty quid and I can clean one of those machines out.” She turned her head. The ridiculous blindfold kept him from seeing her eyes, but she gave a mischievous smile. “Not to brag, but I’ve been banned from more than a few arcades in my day.”

Perfect. She was absolutely perfect for him. He kissed the space behind her ear, where her tiny white tattoo hid. “You are the most fascinating person I’ve ever met. I would _ love _ to see you get kicked out of an arcade.”

She gave a bird-like trill of laughter. “That’ll be quite the firs—” Before she could finish the thought, a splatter of icing landed on her cheek. 

“Great aim, Marisol.” Lucas laughed heartily. “You got Lili.”

“Oops, sorry! I was slapping the cake!” 

Bobby warmed at their cheerfulness. Other than Hope and Noah, who were maintaining a low volume argument the entire time, most everyone else seemed to be having a blast. Even Priya and Rahim had broken the icy distance between them as they giggled and smoothed their shockingly purple icing.

The weird vibe seemed like a distant memory.

Lili piped wobbly hearts on their cake, and then added melted chocolate. Even blindfolded she poured with precision, drizzling it down the sides just so. He chuckled as she placed strawberries on top, running her fingers over them to make sure they were evenly spaced. 

“Islanders, your time is up!” Chelsea chirped. “Please step away from the cakes.”

“How does it look?” Lili asked as she worked to remove her blindfold. 

“Great! I couldn’t have asked for a better partner. I think we’re going to win.”

Chelsea and Jakub walked around and inspected the cakes. They were definitely winning. Theirs was the prettiest by far. Especially compared to Hope and Noah’s horrible cake. The icing was lumpy and there were huge chunks missing from it. There was a spot on the side where it looked like Hope had rested a hand on it and squashed it down. The toppings were anemic. A couple squiggly lines of pink icing and some fruit that was mostly rolling on the plate and not on the cake itself. It physically hurt Bobby to look at it. 

“Um, Hope, what did you do to yours?” Marisol asked.

“It looks like someone used it as a pillow to cry on,” Gary said.

Noah’s broad shoulders slumped. “I might cry. It’s a disaster. A total mess.”

“I mean, I’m sure you could save it if you put that piece...” Priya trailed off.

“No,” Hope said. “It’s beyond repair.” She and Noah didn’t look at each other.

“Ahem. So, guys.” Jakub flexed as he spoke. “We’ve made our decision.”

Chelsea vibrated with joy and her eyes kept going to their cake. “Yeah, it’s a tough one, but the winners are—” 

“Hope!” Jakub shouted.

“Wait… what?” Chelsea asked.

Lili put her hands on her hips. “What? It’s a fix!”

Bobby nodded. “Not to be a jerk, but I’m kind of insulted by this.”

“I’m with you,” Lottie said. “You’ve got to be kidding, Jakub.”

“But...” Chelsea bit her lip. “I thought we were going to go with Lili and Bobby.”

Jakub stood straighter and smirked. “No. Hope. She’s the real winner.” Everyone turned to look at him. “What?” he said. “I don’t need to justify my choice, guys.”

“You could do,” Marisol said. “Give us some clarity.”

“Well, um… Hope just had the best technique.”

“I bet she did,” Gary said, smirking.

“Alright, alright.” Priya held up her hands. “It’s just a game. Judge’s decision is final.”

Noah stared at their cake. “To be fair, if you tilt to one side and squint a bit, it looks alright.” 

Everyone laughed at that, except Hope who blinked at the lumpy cake disaster. “No,” she said, her voice oddly soft. “It doesn’t.” She left the challenge stage quietly and everyone cleared their throats. Jakub followed after her, jogging to catch up. Noah’s expression was unreadable as ever as he watched them go. 

“Alright, let’s head inside. The cakes are gonna start attracting flies,” Gary said, trying to ease the tension. 

As everyone wandered off the platform, Bobby tugged on Lili’s arm, but she didn’t move. She was glaring at the cakes, her eyes narrowed. “We worked really hard on ours,” she muttered. “We should have won.”

Oh, his competitive girl wasn’t happy. “Our cake is gorgeous.” He rubbed a soothing hand across her lower back. “Everyone said it was the best, so we won where it counts. Jakub was just being weird. Guys who iron their socks and underwear can’t be trusted to judge a cake decorating challenge.”

She laughed. “I have no idea what that means.”

“Don’t think too hard about it.” He threaded his fingers through hers. “Come on."

“But all the cakes made me hungry,” Lili said. “Aren’t you hungry?”

He grinned at her. “Ravenous. I bet I could eat, like, three slices.”

“Only three? Come on la, you can do better than that.” 

“Oh yeah, like you could eat more than three slices of cake.”

She lifted her chin. “I could eat the whole thing.”

“No way.”

“I absolutely can!”

He stood back and looked at her. “I bet my favourite t-shirt that you can’t.”

“Your favourite shirt? The black one that says, ‘Do you even sift, bro?’”

“Yeah. My dad bought it for me when I got my job at the hospital. I’ve had it for yonks. How’d you know it’s my favourite?”

“Because it’s the only one you fold.” Her smile trickled from the top of his head to his toes. “Your favourite shirt, though? This is serious.”

“When it comes to you, I’m always serious.” He hoped she could read everything he meant in those words. “If you can eat an entire cake, it’s yours.”

“No bantering?” He shook his head and she grinned like a shark. “Then you just watch me.”

“Oh, this is going to be amazing.” He grabbed their cake and sat it in front of her. “I can’t believe you’re actually doing this.”

“You best believe it.” She sat for a moment staring at it, fire glinting in her eyes. Finally she used the icing spreader to cut the cake, and picked up a slice. He stood back grinning and watched her concentrate as she chewed. 

At some point, Marisol saw what was going on and gathered everyone back to the stage to watch. The awed silence was occasionally broken by someone shouting, "You can do it!" and, "You got this, girl!"

The sun beat down and the icing on the cake began pooling in her hands. Lili turned to him. “Uh wanna fuck,” she said, chewing a huge mouthful of cake.

“Right now? In front of everyone?”

“Fork, Bobby, she wants a fork,” Marisol said.

“Ahhh.” He brought over a fork and a handful of towels. “You know what they say. Spooning leads to forking.”

Lili covered her mouth, probably so she didn’t spit her cake out from laughing. She wiped her hands on the towel and began eating directly from the platter. The cheering and supportive shouts grew louder as she got down to the last slice. 

“She’s going to finish it!” 

“You can do this, Lili!”

She swallowed the last bite and slammed her fist on the table. “Done!”

“We have a winner!” Marisol hollered. “Lili is the official cake eating champion of the villa!” Everyone cheered and clapped.

Lili stood and gave a slight bow. “Thank you, thank you. I owe everything to Bobby. Without him, this cake would have remained uneaten in addition to having been much less pretty.”

“Aww, Lil, you’re so sweet,” he said, as he handed her his water bottle.

“Literally, right now,” Gary said.

Once the excitement was over, everyone else retreated to the pool to escape the heavy heat. He grabbed her hand and led her toward the villa. “Looks like I’m going to be shirtless when I get back home!” 

She laughed. “I wouldn’t mind seeing that.”

In the bedroom, she plopped down on the bed. “Eating an entire cake wasn’t my best idea.” She patted her swollen tummy. “I feel a bit sick.”

“Poor lass.” He rubbed her stomach gently and she groaned. “Maybe this will make you feel better.” Digging into his cubby, he grabbed his shirt and handed it to her. “I wore it a couple times, so you may want to wa—” She grinned bright and wide, and he lost his train of thought. 

She held it close to her face, breathing in. “It smells like you. I love it. Thank you!” She tugged it on over her bikini. “What do you think?”

His heart clanged against his ribs. She looked… like how he wanted to see her for the rest of his life. In his bed, wearing his t-shirt, smiling like an angel. This bit of his outside world on her body did things to his mind. 

“I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life,” he said. “And you’d make any shirt better just by putting it on.”

“Stop it.” Her cheeks bloomed with colour. “You saw me wolf down an entire cake. I think I’ve destroyed any illusions about my attractiveness.”

“I loved that you did that. I love the way you take on all challenges with ferocity. It only makes you more beautiful to me.”

She stared at him for what seemed like forever, searching his face. “Sometimes it feels like you really mean that.” Her voice was so sad. And beneath the sadness was a tinge of bitterness. He’d never heard her sound that way. She closed her eyes as if she regretted saying it.

Prickles of unease skittered over him. “I do mean it, Lil.” He stroked her jaw. “This place makes it difficult, but I… Don’t you believe me?” 

Whatever she’d been feeling, she shook it off and smiled faintly. “Sorry. Villa life makes me so dramatic. Thank you for the shirt.” 

The sudden stop of his heart left him breathless. She didn’t believe him. Still didn’t believe that what they had was real. So, what had they been doing for days? 

Fucking. That’s what they’d been doing. 

They’d been fucking like bunnies and not talking about their fractured relationship. He was so in his head about everything that he’d assumed they were building trust again. But they hadn’t, had they? Maybe that’s why she wasn’t bringing up what they were. Or she’d change the subject or just say that he had her twisted up. All along, he thought that asking her to be his girlfriend would get them back to where they’d been before he screwed everything up. But what if… what if she was already gone? He rubbed at his chest, forcing his heart to start again.

Lili stared down at the duvet. He lifted her chin and kissed her gently, needing to feel that connection, needing to remind her of what they were, even when they weren’t having sex. She made a soft sound of contentment. He pulled back and brushed his thumb over her cheek. “Please believe me.” 

Her eyes softened. She nodded and his stuttering heart found its rhythm again. She wasn’t gone, she was just insecure about where they were. That was his fault. He’d pulled her close and pushed her away more than once. But not anymore. Once he committed to her, she would know that he’d never hurt her again. 

Shit, he had to find Lottie and Gary and ask her immediately. “I’ll be right back, Lil. Don’t go anywhere, alright?”

She clutched her stomach and nodded. “I can barely move, babe. I’m not going anywhere.”

He raced to locate Lottie and Gary, but it proved a challenge. Where the hell were they? Not the terrace. Not the gym. Not the pool. Kitchen. Day beds. No and no. He was sweating and shaking when he finally found them snogging on the breakup bench. 

Gary yanked his hand out of Lottie’s bathing suit top and flushed. “Little busy here, Bobs.”

“Sorry to bother ya, but we gotta do it now!” 

The big man sighed. “Alright. Let’s get it over with.”

Lottie smacked Gary’s arm and flashed Bobby a smile. “We’re ready.” 

They followed him back to the villa, but Bobby stopped in the doorway. 

Lili was still sitting on the bed, her head down, groaning. Lucas was on one knee, staring up at her as if he were proposing. “I really think we should talk to the producers, love. You don’t look well.” 

“No, I’m fine.” She covered her mouth and burped delicately. “I’m fine. It was only an entire cake.” She laughed at her own joke and moaned, pressing her hand to her stomach. 

“Stubborn Scouser.” A fond smile hovered on Lucas’s lips.

Dread, thick as Glasgow fog, filled Bobby’s chest. For a while Lucas had backed off and he’d liked the man better for it. But there was no denying the soft look in his eyes as he tugged on one of Lili’s curls, letting it bounce back.

Nope. Didn’t like that at all. He shot forward with a smile he didn’t feel. “I’ve got her, mate.”

Lucas flushed, as if he’d been caught with his hand in the biscuit jar. He stood and stepped out of the way, his hands in the air. “Just checking on her.” 

Lili looked up at Bobby with wide brown eyes. “I think a pound of icing was too much icing.”

“Who knew,” he said with a smile. “Listen, um, I need to show you something.”

She sat up straighter and took a pained breath. “Okay. Show me.”

“Um.” He wiped his hands on his shorts and glanced over at Lucas, who raised a baffled eyebrow. Bobby wished very much that he wasn’t there, watching and judging. 

He fumbled with the music player and dropped it on the floor. Taking a breath, he ran his hands through his locs. Dammit. 

“I’ve got you, Bobs.” Gary lumbered over and swept it off the floor and handed it to him. He shot the man a grateful smile.

“Okay, Lil—um.” He scrubbed his hand through his locs. “You’re the onl-” 

“Texxxxxxt!” Priya’s shout sliced through the villa. “Rahim got a text!”

Everyone froze. 

“Oh! Recoupling!” Chelsea’s unmistakably giddy squeal bounced out of the hush. She raced into the room and shoved everyone aside to get to Lili, and tugged frantically on her arm. “Come on! Come on! They’re only giving us thirty minutes!” 

“I can’t recouple like this!” Lili moaned as she stood. “I won’t even fit in any of my dresses.”

“It’ll be fine! Bobby likes you in anything!” Chelsea gave him a shining grin. “Don’t you?” 

Bobby’s head was so full of static, he had to take a moment to register her question. “Erm, aye. You’re beautiful in anything, lass.”

“See! Come on!”

Lili followed Chelsea, but she stopped and gave his cheek a soft smooch. “You can show me later, yeah?” He nodded vaguely as Chelsea pulled her upstairs and out of sight.

“Fuck my fucking life.” Bobby kicked the bed and then sat down heavily and put his face in his hands. “Fuck!” 

Gary patted his shoulder. “We can still do it after the recoupling. It’s not like there’ll be any surprises. We know who everyone is picking right? Marisol said Lili said that Noah was picking Hope and they were the only wild cards.”

“Well no, there’s Jakub,” Lottie said, her concerned eyes staring upward at the ceiling, as if she could see the stars through it. “And the tea leaves.” 

Bobby rubbed his shaking hands on his face. “Not helping, Lozza.”

“I think there could be a few wild cards tonight,” Lucas said. He gave Bobby an infuriating wink. “This is going to be fun.”

Lottie glared at Lucas as he breezed by. She turned and gave Bobby a tight smile. “I’ve got to get dressed. Are you alright?” He nodded and she spun on her high heels and headed upstairs. 

Gary pulled him to his feet and threw an arm around his shoulders. “Don’t worry, mate. It’s all gonna turn out great.” He grinned. “I’m even taking a cue from you. I wrote a little speech for Lottie tonight. I feel like a swot, but she’s going to like it. I think.” 

Bobby was numb as he went upstairs to the boys’ dressing table. The tension hung heavy in the air. Noah was deathly silent, and Rahim kept glancing at him as if trying to gauge what he planned. If Noah chose Priya, Rahim would have to look elsewhere. As if he read Bobby’s mind, Rahim glanced in the mirror and locked eyes with him for a moment. 

Uh oh. With Priya out of the running, would Rahim choose Lili again? He’d seemed content being friends with her, but what if he was still interested? Fuck, he hadn’t considered that until now. 

On the other side of the vanity, Lucas and Jakub were the only ones who seemed unfazed. Jakub smirked as he applied moisturizer to his broad forehead. Lucas buttoned his shirt, whistling a cheerfully lilting warble that was out of place in the smothering silence.

Apprehension coiled low in Bobby’s belly. He didn’t like Lucas’s odd cheerfulness. He didn’t like Rahim’s strange look. He didn’t like the tension. He didn’t like that he and Lili weren’t official. The weird vibe was becoming more ominous by the second.

Noah’s phone beeped. He nodded and took a deep breath. “Guys, it’s time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist the Bad Bobby reference. I've been reading a couple Bad Bobby fics and I gotta saaaaaay... I'm into it 🔥🔥🔥
> 
> Thank you for your endless patience. If all goes well, the next chapter should be up next week! And it is definitely the DR. No more waiting. What I originally wrote was far too long to be one chapter, so I'm sorry for another tease, but it's all coming to a head, I promise. 
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you for sticking with me 💓 If you like what I do, leave me me kudos and messages here, or tweets and DM's @muggedoff4life. Validation and compliments are always my preferred currencies.
> 
> Curry, you are awesome. Tashy, you are awesome. Jolene, not only are you awesome, but you are the Folklore to my Lover. One day Marco is gonna dump Sally and give us the happy ending we deserve 😆 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is awesome, even if you're not named.


	38. Deserted Like the Moon is at the Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit goes sideways. That's it. That's what happens. WELCOME TO THE DISASTER RECOUPLING.
> 
> Songs on repeat while writing this chapter:   
Mercy by Lewis Capaldi and Say Love by JoJo

What the show never captured was how chilly the evenings were in Mallorca. The days were blisteringly hot, but when the sun descended past the skyline, the icy breezes skimmed over the skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Often the islanders gathered in little pockets in the kitchen or under the potted trees, where the cold would pass them by. 

But not tonight. The weird vibe seemed to have affected the weather as well. 

Bobby ran a hand across his damp forehead as the boys lined up at the firepit. The air was stagnant, no breeze to speak of, so it was blisteringly hot and humid, and so much worse near the fire. Sweating copiously, everyone sat except Jakub, who stayed on the lawn, feet spread wide, hands stretched above his head, hyping himself up. 

“I’m feeling good! I’m ready!” Jakub shouted, doing strongman poses, grunting and relaxing and then doing it again. “Hoo ah!”

Gary chortled and did his own strongman pose. “Hoo ah,” he whispered. A chorus of chuckles rose from the rest of the guys and they all began doing ridiculous macho poses. Their quiet laughter relieved the sticky tension that hung in the air like spiderwebs. 

Even without the frosty breeze to carry it, nothing could stop the mélange of sweet and spicy perfumes that always arrived just before the girls did. The guys stilled. One by one their partners arrived. The fire licked over their faces, casting fire and shadows as they traded nervous glances. Lili was near the end of the queue, her curls scraped into messy buns. She smoothed the fabric of the loose-fitting dress she must have borrowed from another girl. Hope grabbed her hand and squeezed it like a lifeline. She smiled at something Hope whispered, and like always, her smile knocked the wind out of him. Those ever-present autumn leaves in his chest swirled and brightened at the sight of it.

Lili’s eyes found his and he was overwhelmed, and so frightened of what was going to happen, he looked away, staring at his hands. He wished he’d talked to her. Wished he’d asked her to be his. 

After what felt like forever, but was only a matter of minutes, the ding of a phone made everyone jump. 

Jakub cleared his throat and flexed his sizable pecs. Beside him, as if he’d been challenged, Gary did the same. Bobby glanced down at his own chest, willing it to do that, but his muscles refused to perform on command. How did one learn that skill? 

“Alright. I want to couple up with this girl because I think a lot of people in here might have given up on her. And because I think I see something in her that nobody else does.” Everyone shifted and looked at each other in confusion. “She’s a great laugh,” he continued. “And I want to see where things go with her. I always say I’m not afraid to shake things up. I want to see where my journey takes me.” He flexed again. “Anyway, the girl I want to couple up with is...” He smirked. 

“Priya.” 

Everyone gasped. Noah locked eyes with Hope across the flames. She stared back, as expressionless as he usually was. 

Rahim’s brows drew together, and he took a step out of the queue, glaring at Jakub. “Wait, what are you play — ”

Gary put a hand on Rahim’s arm. “Easy, mate. Easy.”

Priya stepped forward, looking unsure. She let out an anxious laugh and tossed her hair over her shoulder. Jakub, radiating smugness, grabbed her hand and pulled her to the seat beside him. She looked at Bobby and mouthed the word,  _ help _ . 

He would have laughed if he weren’t in a cold sweat, stomach churning with foreboding. 

Lucas’s phone pinged. “I guess it’s my turn.” He shot to his feet, looking excited. Bobby sat up straighter, his stomach roiling even harder. Not now. Not when he and Lili were on the verge of being a real couple. 

“This isn’t quite what I was expecting to be saying when I stood up here. I’d been hoping, but I honestly didn’t think I’d get this chance.” He rubbed his palms together. “I want to couple up with this girl because she’s beautiful and brilliant. She’s passionate and driven and she likes to win, just like I do. I think she gets me, and it’s rare to find a girl who does.”

Lucas’s gaze skimmed over the girls and stopped on Lili. Oh god. He was choosing her. Taking her away from him. His insides wrenched, as if he were the one who’d eaten an entire cake. 

“So, the girl I want to couple up with is...” Lucas smiled so wide, you could see every perfect tooth in his head. Bobby caught Lili’s eye and she gave him a sweet smile that could have meant anything but felt like a goodbye. 

…

...

“Hope.”

The silence was extraordinary. He didn’t know there could be silence like that. His own heart was the only thing he heard, pounding like a steel drum. 

“Well,” Hope said, breaking the horrible quiet. “This is a twist.” Her smile was oddly amused as she walked to Lucas. He grinned and she kissed him softly on the cheek.

Bobby stared down at his phone, willing it to chime. Please. Please.

Finally, the ding rang out.

It was like those movies, where there’s a single gunshot in a clearing. And the only sounds that followed were the shot’s echo and the panicked rise of birds, taking off to escape the danger. 

It wasn’t his phone. 

Noah slowly stood. For once his emotions were on full display. From his bowed head to his arms hanging loosely at his sides. He stared at Hope and Lucas, sitting close together, both pointedly avoiding his gaze. “Well, I...I think I need to...” Hurt gathered like storm clouds in his eyes. “I…” He swallowed and shook his head. “Right, right. Okay. This is a bit of a shock. But maybe it’s for the best. I um, I know what I want to do.” He cleared his throat. “’I’d like to couple up with this girl because even though this wasn’t how I was expecting it to go this evening, I’m excited to embrace this opportunity to give it a try with someone new. Someone amazing.”

The swirling in Bobby’s chest was replaced with a sudden dark windstorm. No. 

“I’ve fancied her for a while now and I really can’t believe I’m saying this, but the girl I want to couple up with is…” He took a slow breath.

“Lili.”

There was the shot’s echo. 

Shocked murmurs rose around Bobby, but he was made of stone. So heavy, if he hadn’t been sitting, his knees would have given, and he’d have sunk right into the ground. 

Lili stared at Noah with wide shocked eyes. “What?” 

No one seemed to know what to do. Priya began to clap politely, and soon everyone joined in. He forced his hands together as well. 

Beside him, Gary gave his shoulder a squeeze, but Bobby couldn’t see anything. Couldn’t feel anything. He lost her. He fucking lost her. Could he get her back? Maybe… but would she want him back? She’d spoken to Noah in the morning. Did she know? Was she upset? Put on a smile. Put on a smile. Put on a smile.

Lili’s heels clacked across the deck until she was standing in front of him. She blinked rapidly. “I—” she tilted her head. “I don’t—”

He smiled broadly. “It’s all right, lass.” He took her hand and kissed it feeling his heart break over and over, like waves crashing on the shore. “Go on, be with your man.”

She gave him a long look, bafflement in her eyes, before nodding and walking toward Noah. She sat beside him and stared at her lap. He took her hand. “How are you feeling?”

“I—” she shook her head, her mouth pinched tight. “I’m fine.”

Twice in one night, Noah’s feelings were on full display. Surprise and confusion, as tightly knit as Scottish wool, rested in the space where his brows drew together. “Just  _ fine _ ? I thought that…” He pressed his lips together and shook his head.

The waves of heartbreak pulled back and slammed into the shore as the winds picked up and lightning split the sky. There was no reason for Noah to be surprised that Lili was upset. No reason for him to believe that Lili would be happy with this. 

Unless there was a reason. 

Rahim’s phone beeped. “Alright guys. It’s my turn.” He rose to his feet and eyed the remaining girls. Bobby didn’t bother listening to what he said. The storm inside obliterated sound, the force of it leaving his ears ringing. This was precisely why he liked his relationships nice and light. No drama, no jealousy. 

No loss.

Lottie stepped forward for Rahim, looking shocked, but shrugging it off. Gary shifted beside Bobby. He then stood and opened his lips as though words were coming out. They must have done, because Chelsea ran across the deck to take a seat beside him, looking excited.

Finally, dead last, his fucking phone vibrated in his hand and sound returned. Marisol was the only girl left standing. Her cheeks were rosy with embarrassment and for once, her confidence seemed to have abandoned her. The defeat leadening his heart was just as heavy in hers.

He jumped to his feet. “Right, I guess it’s my go.” He didn’t bother thinking. Just slid on his clown mask and went all in for Marisol. Nothing could make him feel better, but he was gonna do his damndest for her. “I think it’s fair to say that, like, some people have thrown this recoupling for a bit of a loop.” He couldn’t stop himself from looking over at Lili and Noah. She was kneading her hands together, and Noah put his on top of them to stop her. 

That used to be his job.

He looked away and swallowed. There was a burning in his throat, the kind that usually came with a double shot of whisky. And close behind was a familiar bright numbness that spread through his chest. This was good. This was better. Focusing on his own shite had never done him any favours. Better to give his energy to someone who could use it. 

“I guess there’s not much I can do about that right now. But I’m really happy with how this has come out. I think everyone probably gets that this is going to be more of a friendship couple and less of a blazing romantic one,” he smiled wider. “But I want you all to look at this girl right here and tell me that she’s not  _ flames emoji flames emoji one hundred emoji _ . I legit can’t believe nobody has chosen her yet. You’re all missing a trick.” Marisol’s smile bloomed as he spoke. “So we’re gonna couple up as friends, but sooner or later this girl is going to wrap someone around her finger like spaghetti. This is me calling it. You haven’t seen the best of her yet. The girl I want to couple up with is Marisol.”

Marisol ran over and threw her arms around him. “Thanks, hun. That’s…” she wiped away a tear from the corner of one of her eyes. “That’s so sweet. You’re such a good friend. And, like, I know it’s only a friendship couple, and I’m still hoping to meet someone I get the spark with in here, but in the meantime, I’m so glad I’ve got a friend like you. You’re the best.” 

One of the fissures in his heart mended itself. He gave her a tight squeeze. They might have been last, but at least they could be last together. “Pleasure’s all mine, babe.”

Everyone clapped for them, including Lili, her pageant smile flashing like a broken traffic light. Once they sat down, there were no more texts. Throats were cleared and a few people opened their mouths as if to speak, but changed their minds. Finally, Marisol sat forward. “So, basically nobody’s with the person they thought they’d end up with.”

Everyone nodded. 

A nervous giggle filled the silence. “It’s...” Priya shook her tawny hair back. “It’s an absolute disaster!” She burst out laughing. A moment later, Noah’s baritone chuckle joined her. Then Marisol. Hope clutched her sides as she whooped. Everyone followed. The uncertainty and absurdity of the situation expelled in a glorious state of hysteria. Bobby found himself laughing just as hard. His every fear had been realized and he couldn’t do a damned thing about it. 

So he laughed.

Lili held a hand over her mouth and laughed helplessly. When it started to slow, she caught his eye and it set them both off again.

“What’s so funny?” Jakub demanded. 

Noah shrugged. “Mate, like, if you’re not getting it—”

“I don’t think we can even explain it to you,” Marisol said.

Jakub searched everyone’s faces, still not quite understanding what was going on.

Hope held up a hand. “Okay, I think there are some conversations we need to have right now. Serious conversations.” Everyone cracked up again. Including Hope. “Seriously,” she said shrilly. “There are some things we need to talk about.”

“Jakub, how come you picked Priya, when we’ve always been together?” Rahim’s baritone voice boomed, reverberating like a clap of thunder. It was so unlike him, so abrupt, it startled everyone. The laughter trickled away. 

“I knew someone would ask. Listen Rahim—”

“Call me Ibrahim, mate,” he snapped. “We don’t know each other.” 

The fire flickered, and the islanders shifted uncomfortably, but Jakub was unfazed. “Alright Ibrahim. I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“I think you should explain, though, mate,” Gary cut in. “Like, I think you owe us that much.” Gary gave Rahim the side eye. “A few people owe us that.” 

Bobby ignored Jakub’s response and the angry buzzing of the argument that came after. It hardly mattered. The deed was done. Every single couple had been broken up, whether they wanted it or not. After loads of squabbling, they split apart to talk with their old partners. He watched eagerly for Lili, but Lottie pulled her aside to chat. 

Marisol leaned back in her seat. “She’ll wait for you,” she said. “I am excellent at reading body language, and it’s clear that she cares about you quite a lot. Look at how she’s standing.” Under the potted tropical trees, Lili nodded at whatever Lottie said, her stance unusually wide and her arms bent backward, hands on the small of her back. “See? She’s angry right now.”

That was something, wasn’t it? He traced the silhouette of her face with his gaze. Maybe things weren’t quite over. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “What does her body language say with Noah?”

“Hard to tell. In the past, it’s always suggested that she views him as a mate. It was clear he felt more than that by the way he leaned into her space…” Marisol trailed off and tilted her head. “She has always read as relaxed and friendly with him. Maybe a tad flirtatious, but she’s like you in that regard. A bit cheeky with everyone.”

Marisol had to be feeling better if she was back to psychoanalyzing everyone.

“J'accuse!” He wiggled his eyebrows and gave a wink, hoping to coax another smile out of her. Cheering Marisol up was a lovely diversion from the burning numbness in his chest, and the roiling unknown feelings lurking beneath it. 

“My point is made.” She bumped his shoulder with hers. “I’m off to bed.” A tiny smile danced on the corner of her red lips. Victory. 

He blew out a breath and rubbed his hands on his trousers, steadying himself for whatever came next. Before he could decide what that  _ whatever _ was, Hope and Noah wandered closer to the fire, speaking in hushed tones. 

“This—This wasn’t how I expected tonight to go.” Noah scrubbed his hand across the back of his neck. 

Hope crossed her arms and assessed him. “It’s basically how I expected it to go. With us anyhow.”

His brows rose. “Did you know? That Lucas…”

“I knew it was a strong possibility. He talked to me about it this morning. Jakub told me he might choose me as well.” She pulled a face. “I turned his offer down.”

“And you didn’t say anything?”

She laughed. “Noah, you were literally trying to choose between three of us. I have slightly more pride than to wait for you to pie me off for Lili or  _ Priya _ .” Her lip curled. 

“I—I’m sorry for how everything happened.”

“So am I.” 

“So are we…” Noah rubbed his neck again. “Are we actually decoupling?” He looked a bit lost, and reached for Hope’s hand, but she stepped back.

“Breaking up,” she said. “Yeah, we are, hun. I really wanted this to work. Maybe too much. I just don’t think… I don’t think we’re good for each other.” She squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. “I’m gonna give my pairing a go. You should too.” 

Noah looked over his shoulder at Lili and nodded. “Maybe I will.”

Bobby’s numbness dissipated, and the pins and needles of emotion rushed back. He had to talk to Lili. He didn’t want to decouple. He didn’t want any of this. He didn’t want her touching and kissing Noah. Sleeping beside him, teasing him awake. He couldn’t stand it.

Lili glanced over Lottie’s shoulder at him as he approached. She nodded at Lottie and waved her off. Wrapping her arms around her middle, she walked his way. “Hey,” she said. 

“Hey.” He found himself taking two steps toward her, wanting to touch her so badly. But he stopped short and found a grin to give. “Well, this is a right boorach.”

“It really is.” She took a step closer and his heart sped up. “We should probably talk.” 

A towering shadow suddenly loomed over them. “Do you think we could chat, Lili?” Noah asked. 

She didn’t look his way. “In a mo.” Her voice was pure ice. Marisol was right. She was angry.

The big man blinked at her. “I—I’d really like to discuss things before bed.”

_ Bed. _ It was remarkable how a single word could make him so nauseated. 

Lili took a deep steadying breath, as if her patience were very, very thin. “Fine.” She studied Bobby intently, the way she did when she was counting his freckles. “Let’s talk tomorrow, yeah?” He nodded and she grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. 

Noah steered her toward the kitchen, carefully avoiding eye contact with him. Not even an apology or acknowledgement. 

Arsehole.

Gary ambled by and patted him heavily on the back. “I’m sorry, Bobbo.”

“Me too,” he said, feeling his voice crack as he continued watching Lili and Noah. “I uh—I’ll be inside in a bit.”

“Sure, mate.” Gary sighed. “I guess Lozza’s leaves were right. What a disaster.” He walked off leaving him alone.

In the kitchen, Noah pulled Lili’s hands into his and spoke earnestly. Bobby made his way as close as he could to hear, without being noticed.

“What were you thinking?” she hissed.

“Look I know this might have been unexpected, but—” 

“You don’t know anything!” She yanked her hands from his. “You ripped me from Bobby and likely ripped apart the last threads of my friendship with Hope. I thought we were mates, but clearly we’re not!” Her ire should have warmed his heart, but there was something about it that sparked a tiny frisson of anxiety. 

“I panicked! I planned to pick Hope, you know I did. But you can’t deny that there’s something between us. I can feel it.”

“There is nothing between us. Nothing. I didn’t want you. I wanted Bobby.”

“Come on, you think Hope didn’t tell me things? You told her that you and Bobby had self-destructed anyhow. So why not give this a chance?”

No. Hope was always slagging him off. Lili didn’t say that. 

Her lips pressed together. “That has nothing to do with this.” 

His heart pitched violently, as if the earth had cracked beneath him. 

She didn’t deny it. 

Noah threw his arms out. “It has everything to do with it!”

With a frustrated growl, she slapped her hand on the counter. “You’re impossible to argue with! You don’t see any side but your own. You’re like a fucking cyborg!” She turned and stomped toward the villa. 

“I’m not a cyborg!” Noah chased after her and grabbed her hand, pulling her to a stop. “Listen, will you?” He took a breath. “What’s the point of sticking around to see if things with Hope and Bobby work out? We’ve both been having our doubts, and honestly, I can do without the inevitable heartbreak. But with you… there’s a vibe, innit. We get each other.” He tugged her closer. 

Rage, an emotion Bobby rarely allowed himself to feel, bubbled inside of him. Noah was supposed to be his pal. Instead, the slimy fucker snuck in and stole Lili the first chance he got and now he was trying to convince her to forget him. 

“I care about Hope,” Noah continued. “And I know you care about Bobby, but why are we both struggling to make things work with them, when it could be so effortless with you and me?” He stroked her cheek with the back of his knuckles. “I know you feel this too.” He dropped his hand to Lili’s jaw and leaned toward her, stopping so close he could have breathed for her. The air was charged with the promise of a kiss, but he didn’t go further. He waited. 

She wouldn’t do it. Bobby knew she wouldn’t. But... she hesitated. 

And in that tiny interval between moments, his heavy heart sank. Sank right to the ground. Then through it. Until it was swallowed by the broiling lava at the earth’s core, leaving nothing but an insignificant curl of smoke behind. He’d seen it hadn’t he? The way those two sparked off each other when they fought. The way she got uncomfortable and brushed aside any notion of Noah being interested in her. It was always there. 

After what felt like an eternity, but was nothing more than a second or two, Lili stepped back, unkissed. “No.  I’m not going to let you climb into my head, telling me what I feel or don’t feel.” Her voice was jittery as she wrapped her arms around herself. 

Noah reached for her again. “Let’s—”

“OMG Lili, I have been looking everywhere for you!” Chelsea raced over. For once it was an interruption Bobby was grateful for. “We need a chat, like yesterday! So much happened! How are you feeling?” 

Lili gave Chelsea her pageant smile. “Um, let’s talk about that somewhere else.”

“Oooh, yes! Let’s grab some Prosecco and chat all night!”

“Perfect. I’ll head up to the terrace. You get the bubbly.” Ignoring Noah’s pleading expression, she turned and headed for the villa on stiff legs. Chelsea all but skipped to the kitchen. 

Noah’s breath was shallow as he watched her go. “Shit,” he whispered. He ran a hand through his hair and his gaze landed on Bobby. Their eyes locked. “Shit,” he said again.

Bobby’s anger boiled like sugar on too-high heat. There were a million things he wanted to say to Noah. About friendship and boundaries. About being a snaky arshole who had no business trying to kiss Lili. But the more he tried to think of where to start, the more his anger bubbled and hissed and burned. If he gave in to it, he’d be no better than his mother, throwing a strop like a jealous child. What would that gain anyone? 

So he said nothing. 

Instead he walked to the pool. Kicked off his shoes. Rolled up his trousers. Sat and plunged his legs into the cold water, hoping it would bring him down to a simmer. 

On the other side of the pool, the Spanish mountains were nothing but inky shadows. They seemed so much smaller than Scottish ones. A sudden sharp pang of homesickness overtook the hurt and anger inside. If he were in Glasgow, it would be chilly out. Likely drizzling. And he’d be at the dancin’. Pished and on the pull. Playing the clown and taking a pretty girl home to stave off another lonely night. 

No complications. No feelings. No Lili.

His heart constricted. He pushed the awful thought away until all his worry turned to nothing but white noise. After a long while, the heat abated, both inside of him and out. The cold wind skated over him and he shivered. Only then, did he head inside. 

The lights were already off, and the choir of deep snores made a grating melody. He tried to search the room for Lili, but the moonless night gave him nothing, not a single bit of light. 

As he settled beside Marisol, the white noise abandoned him. All the time he’d been hoping and dreaming and planning to ask Lili to be his girlfriend, they’d been on even rockier ground than he realized. She thought they had already self-destructed, and he was the only one who didn’t fully know it. 

Now that she was free, was she sleeping beside Noah, her chest pressed against his back, her knees folded behind his? Were they under the blankets, feeling those surges of light and electric pulses that made every touch feel like heaven? 

No. The way she looked at him sometimes, he was sure he still mattered to her. They were still something. But maybe… maybe Noah now had the opening he needed to snip the last thread of what they had. 

_ She’d hesitated. _

He tossed and turned, the questions and worries piling one on top of the other until he was collapsing under the weight of them. Just when the birds began chirping cheery morning songs, he finally fell asleep and dreamt of nothing.

##  ******

“Babe, wake up.” 

The whisper, so soft and lilting, echoed in the empty void of his dream. Curls of gold pushed against the edges of the black, and warmth rushed through him. He knew that glow. Lili.

“Bobby?” Something soft pressed against his lips. He’d lost her in the waking world, but in the void he pulled Lili closer. He could smell her sexy cookie perfume and could feel her hands stroking his cheek. It was so real. He buried his face in her neck, melting into her like milk chocolate wrapped in edible gold. 

“Poor sweet la,” she whispered. “I’ll see you soon.” 

She sounded so real. Another kiss brushed his lips, and then she was pulling away from him. He couldn’t hold onto her and he desperately needed to. His heart pounded painfully. He grasped her tight and forced one heavy eye open.

Lili stood over him, laughing. His arms were wrapped tight around her waist, and his sleep-deprived brain struggled to sort out why she was dressed and wearing sexy perfume when she should be in bed. 

“Listen,” she said. “We don’t have much time. Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but the girls are going off on a secret trip.”

A trip. The word took a moment to register. “Is everyone gone?” He sat up and craned his neck around the room. “Whoa, you lot are like cats. I’ve got no idea how you did that without making any noise.”

“It helps that you guys all sleep like sacks of potatoes.” 

“Hey.” He gestured to his body. “Don’t forget, potatoes are delicious.” Her sweet grin lit up the void inside of him. “So uh, where are you going?”

“We don’t know. We’re just leaving, and it’s meant to be secret.” She didn’t look thrilled about it.

Anxiety crept like vines, squeezing his ribs until he lost his breath. He didn’t like the word leaving. “I hope you’re not gone for too long.” He swallowed. “I’ll miss you.”

“Bobby…” She gave a sad smile and it nearly broke him apart.

“I mean it. It’s different when you’re not around. I don’t like it.”

Leaning over, she kissed him deeply, coiling her arms around his neck. He pulled her onto his lap. It felt so good just to hold her. Her heartbeat danced against his and the cadence of their song was so beautiful. 

He cupped her face with both hands and looked at her. She stared back, and god, her eyes. In them was everything he never knew he needed. All his life he’d been living with only half a soul, just stumbling around aimlessly searching for love and terrified of finding it. And here she was. The light in the darkness. The other half of him. 

The word. So big. So bright. All capitals. It nearly blinded him. Demanding to be said. Everything in him rose up and screamed at him to say it. Say the word. Right now. SAY. IT.

“Lil…” He pushed a curl back from her forehead. He tried to speak. To say it, but the word caught in his throat, refusing to emerge. 

_ She’d hesitated. _

But she was here now. Kissing him. Holding him. Not Noah. Frustration pounded in his temples. “I—” He traced the bridge of her nose and pressed a finger to the tip. 

He breathed out. He was going to say it. 

...

“Boop.”

Fucking boop. 

Is what he said. 

Warmth flooded his face and his body deflated, as if everything from his nerve endings to muscles to brain cells were exhausted with his cowardice. Jesus fucking Christ. Boop. 

She nuzzled her nose against his. “Boop,” she said softly.

They looked at each other for a long moment. Suddenly the silly word that meant nothing felt like it meant… something. 

He didn’t know what, though. And like always, his eejit mouth took over when his brain couldn't sort things. “The boopiest of boops. I like saying that…boopiest.” 

Oh my god, just shut up. Unable to stand himself for another moment, he kissed her neck, right at the fading bruise he’d put there. He wanted to mark her again. To suck at that tender yellowing spot until it returned to a deep dark purple. So he could tell the world what he couldn’t seem to say out loud. 

That he was hers and she was his. 

But she wasn’t, was she? They’d  _ self-destructed. _

This didn’t feel like destruction. 

The boys in the other beds stirred. “I have to go,” she whispered, climbing off his lap as if it pained her to do so. “See you soon, okay?”

“Wait!” He grabbed her hand. “Before you go, I need to ask you something.” He stroked her knuckles as his mind bounced all over the place. “Are we still… Are we okay? Do you still want to…” Dammit, he couldn’t get the right words out.

A sigh escaped her, and the vines tightened around him. “I don’t know. I want us to be okay, but I… I’m sorry that I’ve been avoiding talking about it. Maybe we should—”

Priya poked her head in the room. “Jeep’s here,” she whispered. “Come on!”

She nodded at Priya and kissed his cheek. It wasn’t enough. He was desperate. Needy. Afraid. He turned his head and kissed her proper, digging his hands into her hair. Willing her to stay. 

She melted against him, and then broke away with an apologetic smile. “We’ll talk when I get back.” She slipped away on lithe feet, pausing to give him a wave. 

Then she was gone. 

The air thickened and the light shifted. Everything was different right then. Despite all the people still in the room, the villa was empty without her. 

_ He _ was empty without her. 

Blindly, he stumbled out of bed and raced outside, his feet wanting to be wherever she was. 

The climbing sun was shockingly bright. He put up a hand, shielding his eyes, as Lili slid into the back of one of the waiting jeeps. She looked back at him and smiled, eclipsing the sun in the radiance of her light.

“Wait!” He rushed to the vehicle and opened the door. He had no idea what he’d say or do, but he was going to do something. “Lil, I—”

“Hey!” Lottie shoved him aside and rammed herself into the Jeep, forcing Lili to the other side. “No boys allowed!” 

Chelsea rushed past him too and threw herself across the girls’ laps. There was some playful snarling from Lottie and giggling from Lili as Chelsea wrapped her arms around Lili’s neck and chanted, “GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!” 

Shaking her head, Lottie slammed the door shut and gave him a friendly wave. He waved back, helplessly. 

As the tires started rolling, the infuriating ever-present knot in his throat finally loosened. 

“I love you,” he whispered as the jeep sped away, kicking up gravel and dust as it disappeared down the road. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh heh heh heeeeeeeehhhhhhhhh. This one was so much fun. BTW you never truly appreciate Fusebox until you have to sort out all the branching relationships that change when you shift even one choice at a recoupling. It took me days to sort out how things are gonna play out in the future. 
> 
> In 2-3 weeks (hopefully), we'll be at at CA. Well the girls will. 
> 
> I'm too tired to thank all the peeps. But Beyonce, The Notorious T-A-S-H, and Jolene Jolene Joleeeene, you all are amazing and I'm lucky to know you. 
> 
> La la la. Message me. Kudo me. https://twitter.com/muggedoff4life
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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